r/beatlescirclejerk

As a huge Beatles fan, I honestly feel like I need to get something off my chest because I can’t be the only one who feels this way. I’ve been listening to this band since I was a kid—I’ve studied the albums, read the biographies, licked my Paul McCartney poster a couple times (more than is normal). But lately, the online side of this fandom has become exhausting,

Everywhere I go on the internet, there's fan art and fanfics of the boys in romantic or sexual situations. Whether it’s "McLennon" (John and Paul), "Starrison" (George and Ringo), “Porngo” (Purple Ringo and Wrongo) or any other combination, it’s absolutely everywhere. You go on Pinterest looking for rare 1964 photos of their circlejerks, and you’re hit with drawings of them sucking face. You go on Tumblr or Twitter to discuss the Revolver that shot Jahn, and you’re bombarded with real stories about secret love affairs.

Can we please just stop and look at the facts? All four Beatles were FRIENDS, and they had WIVES TO BEET!!

John had Paul and Yoko. Paul had John (the love of his life!) I mean Linda. George had Pattie and Olivia and Bob Dylan and Jeff Lyne and OK who didn’t he fuck. Ringo has been with Barbara for decades in between pounding the other Beatles. These were real men with real lives, real families, and real heterosexual homoerotic relationships. To take their deep, platonic brotherhood and twist it into some weird romantic fantasy feels incredibly disrespectful—not just to them, but to their widows and their children who are still around to see this stuff. I mean think of poor Sean getting attacked on twitter.

The bond they had was incredible, yes. They shared a connection that nobody else on Earth could understand because they were at the center of the biggest whirlwind in history. They loved each other like brothers. They curled up together in the back of vans and fucked and sucked their hearts out because they were four working-class lads from Liverpool taking on the world. Why isn't that friendship enough? Why does the internet have to make everything "shipping"?

It’s getting to the point where you can’t even enjoy a photo of John and Paul sharing a microphone without the comments section being full of people "shipping" them. It’s historical revisionism, and frankly, it’s weird. They were the greatest love story of all time, not characters in a romance novel.

I’m here for the music, the history, and the brotherhood. If I wanted romance, I’d read John & Paul: A Love Story in Songs. Can we go back to appreciating the Beatles for who they actually were? Immovable heterosexuals who occasionally felt deep romantic feelings for each other?

Who agrees with me?