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r/espressocirclejerk

▲ 1.1k r/espressocirclejerk

Light roast tastes horrible, please help

Help me! I'm trying this light roast and I can't get good espresso out of it. If I grind finer, all I get is some buttery cream. Did I get scammed?

u/LaurensVanR — 2 days ago
▲ 72 r/espressocirclejerk

Downgraded my grinder to punish my butler

My butler has been butchering his pours so I downgraded him to this antique Turkish grinder.
Told him if he breaks it it’s coming out of his paycheck (full yearly salary)

u/Ok-Ant2924 — 2 days ago
▲ 48 r/espressocirclejerk

It’s not the step-down basket, it’s the basket that stepped up

Not the depth, but girth that matters— so I’ve been told.

108mm portafilter to make them Hance Ledrick’s famouse Zuppa Lunga.

u/valfsingress — 3 days ago
▲ 9 r/espressocirclejerk

My preschooler loves helping me prep

One of my favorite routines has been flipping on the espresso machine in the morning hearing that sweet little voice calling "Are you making caff-aye father? That's disgusting". I always make her do the WDT and tamp so that she will be able to train the butlers properly when she is older.

She’s starting boarding school in two days and my work schedule means I will only see her twice a year for holidays and our summer sailing trip. I’m going to miss being able to do this every day with her. I’m going to have to start drinking gin and tonics for breakfast again.

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u/Past_Ferret_5209 — 3 days ago
▲ 20 r/espressocirclejerk

Need recs for coffee station table, can't let my expensive machine rest on anything less than $2000

Now that I realized how embarrassing it is to own a breville barista express I'm terribly ashamed and upgrading to a low priced setup (~$3000).

I need something to accentuate my opulence. I musn't place myself in such a position again. Looking for hand crafted options only, preferably made by indigenous peoples of the Delaware valley.

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u/DiagonalSandwich — 5 days ago
▲ 73 r/espressocirclejerk

I told my butler to stop working out. Now I know he's been doing calisthenics while in his hole.

Unreal. Anyone know how I should punish this?

u/WordsWellSalted — 7 days ago