r/pregnantover35

Has anyone chose not to do beta hcg draws? We did them in our pregnancy that ended in a MMC earlier this year and now I just find them so triggering. We just found out we are pregnant again and I got my first draw Friday just to confirm pregnancy but I’m already dreading going back on Tuesday for a follow up. I feel bad not doing them but I can’t imagine the anxiety is good for the pregnancy. Help!

Long story short- we’ve been trying for a baby since September 2023. In March 2024 I had a SCAD heart attack and we were told to stop trying for a year. We got the go ahead to start trying again in March 2025 and had an early miscarriage in October then another early miscarriage Feb 2026. We just started to try again. I’m obsessing over the fact that I’m going to be 37 or older by the time I have my first kid. This is not how I planned it and I know it’s so common that it doesn’t go according to plan. I’m looking for stories or support or people who have had their first kids in their late 30s. ❤️

Got hit with a short cervix diagnosis at my anatomy scan this morning. Dynamic, measuring 1.8–2.4 cm. Starting progesterone tonight and hopefully seeing an MFM next week.

I know I should feel grateful the scan caught it. And I do. But I'm also just… exhausted and frustrated. After a previous loss, lots of first trimester bleeding, low fetal heart rate, I feel like I can't just have a normal, boring, uneventful pregnancy. Every time I think we're in the clear, something else. I'm so tired of something else.

And on top of the fear and the new diagnosis to process, my husband and I are supposed to leave for Japan in 12 days. A trip we've been planning for a long time. And almost certainly that's not happening now. I haven't even fully let myself grieve that yet because I'm still in shock from this morning. (We know how lucky we are to even have that trip planned...).

Oh, and it's Memorial Day weekend, so of course I can't get answers from anyone, can't get calls back, can't move anything forward. Just sitting here stewing in it. Oh and to top it off, the OB coordinator didn't even send the referrals for me to try and call and get scheduled for next week ASAP until 4:45pm today — and that's only after i emailed three different people and called 3 times. The doctor had written urgent in it!!! The whole point was for me to get the appointment TODAY for next week hopefully.

Just needed somewhere to say: this is hard, and I'm allowed to be upset about all of it at once.

Why can't anything just be fucking normal!!!!!

Anyone who experienced false labor, what does it actually feel like? I am now 38 weeks pregnant and I was wondering if any of you in this group have an experience of false labor in your pregnancy.

Kindly share🙏

I’m 38f and my husband and I decided to start trying recently (no prior pregnancies, just thought we didn’t want kids until recently).

My concern is that about 3-4 months ago my periods started getting a lot shorter and lighter. For the last decade or so they’ve been consistently about 5 days long, with 2-3 heavy days, and 2-3 very light days (occasionally a day in between of nothing, and then more light bleeding).

But the last few cycles, I have had 1 light day, then 1 heavy day, then another light day and that’s it. Does anyone know if this is a sign of menopause or anything? I know this is probably a dumb question but I’m having trouble finding a ton of answers, and I’m worried it’s already just too late for us.

11 weeks pregnant and constantly paranoid that I will not be a good mom or what if I don’t like my baby like some of the posts on Reddit, what if I just am not cut out to be a mom?

What if I cannot be loving or what if I end up sleeping through a feeding alarm or something?
Endless thoughts. Taught kindergarten for years and worked at daycare before that but that was different. My own mother was narcissistic and abusive and I was temporarily in an orphanage (grew up overseas). What if I become like that?

Anyone else have thoughts like this? Is it just me?

Please no rude comments I’m genuinely constantly paranoid and need some food for thought on whether if this is just me or if it is normal.. thank you so much.

Hi all , wondering if someone with similar experience. Went to OB due to some other concerns and they did ultrasound. LMP currently is 6 weeks and 6 days, whereas gestational age came as 5 weeks and 4 days. As per OB we are supposed to see the heartbeat today as it’s been almost 3 weeks of pregnancy confirmation. They called back again in 2 weeks for follow up but he doesn’t seems that positive that they will see any heartbeat. Also I am having no symptoms.

I don’t want to trigger anyone. I’m just looking for answers.

My wife (37) had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago measuring around 6w3d with no heartbeat seen yet. We were expecting closer to 8 weeks based on dates, so doctor said ovulation/dating could be off.
We just did serial beta hCG tests:

May 14: \~45,500

May 19: \~35,700

May 21 : TBD

We still have one more blood test and another ultrasound coming. No bleeding or severe cramping.
Has anyone had decreasing or plateauing hCG around this stage and still ended up with a viable pregnancy?

Or if it ended in miscarriage, how did your numbers/ultrasound progress?

Trying to understand real experiences while waiting for the next scan.

My wife gave birth to our first child on October 8th 2025.

After a few frustrating rounds jumping through hoops, I was finally able to speak with my OB’s office to schedule my first appointments.

My first ultrasound isn’t until around 11 weeks, which is fine and normal. They didn’t have any sooner openings.

But the pregnancy confirmation appointment is the week before and I’ll be 10 weeks (24 June to be exact). Am I crazy or does this seem late? Last time, in 2022, I told them I had a positive test and they took me in for blood work the next day to test the HcG levels and then again a feed days after that to make sure everything was trending up as it should. Do they not do that any more?

I’m confused and frustrated.

Has anyone had success with medication alone without iui? The data isn’t great but my OB is offering it so curious of others’ experiences.

I just wanted to share this here for anyone feeling anxious about fertility or age-related concerns. I know everyone’s journey is different, but I remember being worried it would take awhile for me to get pregnant. Instead, I got pregnant on the first try with both of my kids — at 33 and 36. No miscarriages. I wasn’t tracking ovulation; those were just the two times we didn’t use contraceptives. Both of my kids were healthy. There really is hope.

Anyone else more excited for parenting and the kiddo than the pregnancy. I’m lucky to have had a safe/boring pregnancy thus far, which seems to bore & confuse everyone around me.
I’m not experiencing intense cravings or struggles, and haven’t settled on a name yet. I’m also not anxiously awaiting the big movement stage of pregnancy bc it icks me out to think about a small foot jutting out my belly🫣🤣.
I’ve mentioned this info to friends and family who like to remind me how weird I am and “everyone loves being pregnant and having their baby move inside them.”

My wife and I found out in 2023 that she was pregnant, and around week 7 she developed hives all over her body. At the week 8 scan, her OB told us that the fetus had stopped growing sometime between weeks 6 and 7. We assumed the hives may have been related to hormonal changes.

In 2024, she became pregnant again and successfully delivered our baby without experiencing any hives during the pregnancy.

Now, in 2026, she is pregnant again, and at week 6 she has developed hives once more. Do you think this could again indicate an early pregnancy loss? We are going for an HCG test tomorrow.

I’m under the care of midwives for my pregnancy, and I’m curious what others think of the frequency of visits. I’m 30 + 4 right now, and have been seen at 12, 20, 27 and 30 weeks. I was told the next time I’ll be seen is 34 weeks, and during that conversation I got the sense that the next time after that would be 38 weeks. I was followed by FM-OB for my previous pregnancies who saw me according to what I believe is a typical prenatal schedule (every 4 weeks between 12-28 weeks, then every 2 weeks until 36 weeks, and every week until delivery). I’m in Canada, if that helps for context.

The main reason I chose to go with the midwives this time around is two fold: 1) last time I had a precipitous labour that ended up in an accidental home birth, and I’m worried about that happening again. With midwives at least they can come to me if I get in that situation again 2) the only real option where I live is a midwifery team or OB. My family physician does deliveries, but I got the sense from her that it is not very frequent, or at least varies a lot. I like knowing that I’ve met who will deliver my baby at least once, which I know I would get with a FM-OB or midwifery team. Around here anyway, if you are taken care of OB, the person delivering is just going to be whoever the OB on call is that night.

Should I just ask the midwives to be seen more frequently? Is this a yellow/red flag (ie should I see if I have other prenatal/birth options open to me/can transfer my care)? Or am I making too big of a deal about this?

Thanks for any advice - the infrequency of visits makes me a bit nervous, especially because I am a bit older (38, 39 in two months) and have a history of birth trauma… just want to make sure myself and baby are well cared for. ❤️

Like the title says, I took three tests this morning and they all said positive. Still processing and I wanted to tell someone other than my husband, so here I am!

I’m a mix of nerves. I’m 39 and turning 40 in December. Tell me your positive stories!

I was diagnosed with PMOS in my early 20s and have been on birth control since then. Its helped manage my symptoms well and Ive never had issues. I felt like it gave me my life back after the nightmare that was my hormones and my periods. Me and my husband are trying for our first baby and Im nervous about what will happen to me when I go off of the pill. Anyone have a similar experience when starting their pregnancy journey over 35 and any advice? Or encouraging words?

Went in for my dating ultrasound and I'm 8 weeks 1 day with strong heartbeat at 173. I had two miscarriages before my son, he's 14 months now and I'm feeling so grateful to be pregnant again after 4 cycles of trying again. I'm 39 and praying for a healthy baby and healthy me!

I am wondering if there is anyone who is 35+ years old with a history of preeclampsia that decided to have another baby. If so, were their complications with baby or mom? I am wondering this bc i had preeclampsia at 36 yo and if i decide to have another baby i would be 38-39. I am nervous with having the history of preeclampsia and being even older.

Hi All

Im 35 going to be 36 and ive been TTC for 5 months after my miscarriage in December.

Its every month im excited as boobs hurt and then bam! A period 💔

Any positive stories?