u/Photo_Philly

Hey everyone, I just turned 37 and am 26w pregnant with my first baby, due in October. I am feeling really down and in my feelings lately, and I just wanted to see if anyone else in this age bracket has experienced something similar.

​I live in a city in California, but my family lives in another state. My friendships are deeply important to me, but they are scattered. My best friend since I was 14—who is truly like a sister to me—lives in an adjoining suburb. But she is single, doesn't have kids, and wants both. She hasn't said a word about a shower or a registry. I've been really hesitant to bring it up directly because I'm sensitive to the fact that this milestone might be tough for her to watch. Or it's possible she's simply in her own shit cuz she's a lot going on and doesn't realize it.

​To add another layer, she actually felt really hurt when my husband and I decided to do our tiny park wedding with just family, because she wanted to be there to experience it. My reaction back then was kind of like, "Well, do you want to pay for a big wedding?" But now here we are at the next big milestone, and the silence is deafening.

​The rest of my network is just as complicated. My other best friend (my cousin) is in Nevada, and another close friend is a flight away. Perhaps because of the geography and dynamic, nobody has brought up a baby shower or even asked about a registry. Or I'm not sure why they haven't.

​Originally, I thought I wouldn't have a shower because "I'm just not that person." But miraculously the wives of my husband's two best friends, who I've become close with as well, who are both 38 and 41, they live in New York City and they are both having showers. One grew up there and has a massive local network, and the other has an out-of-state friend traveling in to plan it. Seeing them celebrate made me realize that I really do want that experience too.

​But when I look at my situation, it feels hurtful that no one has stepped up. Even my mom said I "have" to have one, but when I asked who would throw it, she said she would if she weren't working. Except she is off in August (when the shower would be) and is using that time to visit my brother and his kids out of state instead.

​If I'm being honest, my invite list is very sparse. It’s a mix of a couple of local friends, a few people from a soccer team, a neighbor, and some grad school friends I haven't talked to in years. The rest are out of state or even international, people I'd love to invite just so they know I'm thinking of them, but who likely can't come.

​I know the standard advice on Reddit is going to be "just throw one for yourself!" but honestly, that feels embarrassing to me, and it's time and money I really don't want to spend. Plus, with such a sparse list, I don't even feel like I have that many people who would actually show up anyway. Throwing my own party is just not something I'm interested in doing. But then I go right back to feeling stuck, knowing that if I don't do it, I'm just not going to have a celebration at all.

​I am struggling because I don't feel like a friendless person. When I got married, we did a small park wedding, and my best friend from home actually surprised me by planning an amazing, intimate bachelorette party with just five of us. It was perfect. I know I have people who love me.

​But right now, I'm feeling really bad about myself, like I don't have a real community to come together for me or this baby. It hurts that no one has even asked about a registry.

​Has anyone else navigated the loneliness of a first pregnancy later in life when your network is long-distance or compartmentalized? How did you handle the desire for a shower when there isn't an obvious group to plan it, or when your closest local friend is in a totally different life stage?

I'm 37 and pregnant with my first baby! A traditional shower just doesn't make sense for my life — spotlight, opening swaddles in a circle, icebreaker games. I only have three to five close friends here in the city, so a format built for a bigger crowd would feel forced, not fun. Nobody's offered to plan one for me anyway.

I'd like to plan something that acknowledges the fact that I'm having a baby but provides a genuinely fun night or day out where I'm not the center of attention the whole time, And my close friends and I actually have a good time.

We'll still have a registry (family's asking), but gifts shipped to the house, nothing opened at the hang.

Spa buyout is a hard no, otherwise I'm open — private dining could work with the right angle. Really craving an actual experience over a pretty backdrop. The only thing that keeps popping into my head is a magic show, which I know is corny, but that's the energy — something fun to actually do together, not just sit and look cute. Or talk me out of saying no to a spa buyout, it just sounds expensive and not that fun.

Have any of you done or been to a milestone celebration in SF that felt effortless, elevated, and "cool girl" without being explicitly "maternity chic"? Open to outside-the-box concepts.

Thank you!

Sharing a cautious but reassuring update on my short cervix journey. When I was first diagnosed, I read so many heartbreaking stories here. S**o far, I feel lucky but I am nowhere near out of the woods — I hit 24 weeks tomorrow and still have 16 long weeks to go. But I wanted to share because I could hardly find stories like mine when I was trying to decide whether it was safe to travel.

Background: IVF pregnancy, one prior LEEP (2018).

19+6 (Anatomy Scan): The tech measured my cervix at various lengths ranging 1.8–2.4 cm and called it "dynamic." My MFM later reviewed those images and said everything under 2.5 cm was just a bad measurement — the tech hadn't gotten a clean picture. I was given an MFM referral and started 400mg vaginal progesterone nightly that same day. I also stopped running and weightlifting at this point after reading this sub. Naturally, I also completely spiraled with a diagnosis of "dynamic short cervix."

20+0 (L&D Triage): I had bad sustained cramping for about 24 hours the next day and the nurse line sent me in. Everything looked fine — they measured my cervix at 3.0–3.5 cm.

20+4 (First MFM Scan): Stable 2.5 cm, no funneling, no dilation, no change under pressure. There was an ambiguous segment that could have been cervix or lower uterine cavity — if counted, would have measured 2.5-3.2cm. MFM put me on zero lifestyle modifications except "no Olympic weightlifting," and only when I pressed him about saying no restrictions.

21+3 (Day before Japan trip): Better imaging confirmed that the ambiguous segment is definitely lower uterine cavity, not cervix. Cervix was still a stable 2.5 cm, no funneling, dilation, no changes under pressure. Obviously still short (bottom 10%), but holding steady. Both MFM specialists explicitly cleared me to travel. Second MFM reviewing this scan further emphasized NO lifestyle changes. I had walked a lot and orgasmed several times prior to this appointment sort of to put his no restrictions to the test....

23+6 (Today): Still a completely closed, stable 2.5 cm with zero funneling and no change under pressure. Because it's held steady across three checks, they're stopping routine serial ultrasounds. Since I hit viability tomorrow, they wouldn't place a cerclage anyway — continuing to watch would just lead to unnecessary interventions or false alarms, according to the doctor. So we're shifting entirely to symptom-based monitoring. The doctor said my risk of premature labor is still "slightly elevated" compared to baseline, but she couldn't quantify it and said it "wasn't like 10x the risk."

On the Japan trip (June 3–13): I didn't consciously try to modify my activity — pregnancy just naturally slowed me down. My husband lifted all the heavy bags, though I did pull my own rolling suitcase through transit. I averaged 12–20k steps a day, with a high of 24,260 steps!

Moving forward, I'm staying on nightly vaginal progesterone until 36 weeks and shifting to the symptom-based monitoring — watching for pelvic pressure, cramping, bleeding, or fluid leaking. Graduating back to my regular OB-GYN with a standard 32-week MFM growth scan scheduled since this is an IVF pregnancy.

Sending so much love to everyone in the thick of this right now. Staying vigilant, taking it one day at a time, and hoping we all get to take home healthy, full-term babies. 🤍🤎🧡🤍

Why in the hell do we only have the capability to add water intake by 8-ounce units? It makes tracking extremely difficult.

Almost nobody drinks water exclusively out of a standard 8-ounce cup. Most water bottles and tumblers are 20, 24, or 32 ounces.

We should easily be able to type in a custom amount or change the default container sizes. A simple number pad input is a standard feature in almost every other tracker on the market.

I'm paying for this app, please fix this.

Basic quality-of-life features shouldn't be missing.

I'm still seeing like 95% of posts say their doctors (OBs and MFMs) prescribed limited activity, pelvic rest, no travel, and minimal walking for a short cervix.

Regardless of whether they're starting at 2.6 cm with no dilation or funneling, or 1.4 cm and funneling...

I've been told absolutely no restrictions except no Olympic weightlifting.

Has anybody else basically lived life completely normally, aside from not lifting weights, and only been on progesterone? If so, what was your outcome?

​

Looking for experiences from people who were in a similar situation to mine: multiple measurements showing a short but *stable* cervix in the 2.5–3cm range, with no other concerning signs — no funneling, no dilation, closed and firm.

Basically just a cervix that was on the shorter side but not doing anything alarming beyond that.

For those of you who fit that picture — what happened next? Did you stay stable through the rest of your pregnancy? Or did things start to progress and you ended up needing a cerclage or delivering early?

Not looking for reassurance necessarily, just genuinely curious what the range of outcomes looks like for people in this specific situation. 💙

Original post

I had the MFM consult today and the overall takeaway was more reassuring than I expected. Today's transvaginal measurement was 2.5 cm (several over 3cm...) everything was closed, no funneling or dilation, and they felt pretty strongly that some of the very short measurements from Friday were inaccurate because the calipers were placed incorrectly.

The bigger point they made was that we now have multiple data points over ~7 days showing stability, and it’s possible this is just my baseline anatomy rather than a cervix actively shortening toward labor.

I’m still getting rescanned Tuesday before the trip, and if anything worsens we cancel immediately. But barring any change, we’re cautiously planning to go.

I know a lot of people here still wouldn’t make that choice, and I completely understand why. But the MFM definitely did not approach this like imminent PPROM/labor territory.

Mostly curious if anyone else here traveled with a stable but short cervix, especially without prior preterm birth/PPROM history. 💙

Title is pretty self-explanatory. Curious where people fall here. And specifically curious about situations that are transatlantic or trans-pacific and flights longer than 7 hours but curious to hear all perspectives.

Okay, sorry if this is the stupidest question ever, but what does it feel like if you're having a lot of pressure?

• What does it feel like if you're having pelvic pressure?
• Can you be descriptive in terms of other sensations that are similar to it? For instance, I've heard somebody describe it as being like when you put in a tampon wrong. Is that right?
• What part of your body does it happen on? Specifically!
• Like would it be pain where your underwear lining is?! Anywhere in the underwear coverage zone? Would it be in your lower abdomen? Anywhere on your stomach?!
• Does it feel like pain or somebody pressing down?
• Could you compare it to another sensation?

I genuinely don't know what this feels like and so I'm not sure how to keep an eye on it.

Signed, a FTM and everything feels weird and like pressure everywhere.

Got unexpected news at my anatomy scan Friday. Dynamic short cervix measuring 1.8-2.4cm, no funneling/dilation. OB started me on 400mg progesterone that night and put in a referral to an MFM. Haven't seen them yet, pushing hard to get in this week.

I did have a second ultrasound Saturday that was more reassuring, 3.1-3.5cm, no funneling, no dilation. So there's that.

We have a trip to Japan booked June 3-13, flying from CA. It's been planned for a long time. It was supposed to be our last big trip before the baby comes, just the two of us, the kind of trip you don't really get to take once everything changes. My husband really wants to go and honestly I understand why. It means a lot to both of us.

But I just... I'm just not sure we should go. For reference my 23rd week starts June 13 (last window for a cerclage if it comes to that) and viability is June 20. We'd be landing home right as that window opens.

He thinks pregnancy is inherently uncertain and that we can't just stop living. I don't think he's wrong exactly. I just don't agree right now.

It's also a little silly to even be thinking about any of this before we've had the chance for the MFM visit. That's the perspective we desperately need.

Has anyone been here? Either the medical side or just the part where you and your partner are seeing it completely differently?

Got hit with a short cervix diagnosis at my anatomy scan this morning. Dynamic, measuring 1.8–2.4 cm. Starting progesterone tonight and hopefully seeing an MFM next week.

I know I should feel grateful the scan caught it. And I do. But I'm also just… exhausted and frustrated. After a previous loss, lots of first trimester bleeding, low fetal heart rate, I feel like I can't just have a normal, boring, uneventful pregnancy. Every time I think we're in the clear, something else. I'm so tired of something else.

And on top of the fear and the new diagnosis to process, my husband and I are supposed to leave for Japan in 12 days. A trip we've been planning for a long time. And almost certainly that's not happening now. I haven't even fully let myself grieve that yet because I'm still in shock from this morning. (We know how lucky we are to even have that trip planned...).

Oh, and it's Memorial Day weekend, so of course I can't get answers from anyone, can't get calls back, can't move anything forward. Just sitting here stewing in it. Oh and to top it off, the OB coordinator didn't even send the referrals for me to try and call and get scheduled for next week ASAP until 4:45pm today — and that's only after i emailed three different people and called 3 times. The doctor had written urgent in it!!! The whole point was for me to get the appointment TODAY for next week hopefully.

Just needed somewhere to say: this is hard, and I'm allowed to be upset about all of it at once.

Why can't anything just be fucking normal!!!!!

Had my anatomy scan this morning around 9 a.m. and got diagnosed with a short cervix — it was dynamic, measuring anywhere from 1.8 to 2.4 cm. They spent a long time on the abdominal ultrasound before switching to transvaginal to get a better look.

Now it's 5:30 p.m. and I'm having stomach cramping. Normally I probably wouldn't think much of it, but now that I've been told a short cervix means I need to watch out for cramping as a potential sign of preterm labor, I'm spiraling a little.

For context, I haven't had any cramping since maybe week 10, and I didn't experience any cramping after my transvaginal NT scan at 12 weeks either — so this feels new and different.

They have me starting 200mg progesterone tonight and I'm hopefully getting in to see an MFM specialist next week.

Has anyone else experienced cramping after a long transvaginal ultrasound, especially after being diagnosed with a short cervix? Did it turn out to be nothing?

I could really use some reassurance or even just to hear your stories right now.

UPDATE NEXT DAY / ETA: called ob nurse triage the next day cause pain was persistent still. She told us to go to the OB triage at the hospital. They evaluated me and saw no signs of labor or contractions. Even better, we did abdominal and TV ultrasound again, everything looked healthy, and my cervix managed to measure 3.1-3.5cm in today's exam!!! They couldn't find any reason for my persistent lower abdominal pain. It's only now, around 9pm the next day that I'm starting to feel it dissipate. 🤞🤞

Pretty self explanatory title. Anyone having persistent feet swelling earlier on? This was triggered by a 6-hour flight on Monday and my feet still haven't gone down today Wednesday. I wore compression socks on the flight and everything. I did go ahead and take my blood pressure at home yesterday and got 117/80 and then 113/76. So not great but not terrible. By the way, I did email my doctor but wanted to ask the crowd as well.

I think my fingers are still slightly swollen as well because my wedding ring is giving me some pain

I’m someone who immediately takes my bra off the second I get home—always have, even pre-pregnancy. I cannot stand the feeling of wearing one around the house.

But now I’m pregnant and my nipples are insanely sensitive and my boobs have gotten way bigger, so going without anything is just not working anymore.

I’ve tried bralettes before, but even those can feel like too much. What I’m looking for is something that feels as close to wearing nothing as possible—like second nature, as comfortable as a t-shirt. No tight bands, no digging, no constant awareness that it’s there—but still enough coverage/support to deal with sensitivity and size.

For reference, I’m probably around an XL now. I started at 165 and I’m currently 187 (at only 16w eeeeeek!!!).

Does anyone have recommendations for something that comfortable, or is this unrealistic?

Hey - looking for some success stories or similar experiences (even if bad outcome) to help me understand my outlook and calm my nerves.

NOTE: I've repeatedly checked in with my doctor on both my weight gain (+20lbs 😩) and BP and she continues to have NO CONCERNS as of yet. I am looking for community stories. I am also already taking baby aspirin, as prescribed by my doctor.

Currently 16w after a fully medicated FET. I'm 37 in 2 months, and started pregnancy with a higher BMI (~26.5). While my BP has always been great before pregnancy (average from 3 instances taken Sep-25 to Jan-26 was 114/71), it has been creeping up already throughout this pregnancy.

• 10+5 = 118 / 74
• 12+5 = 122 / 80
• 14+4 = 130 / 80
• 15+6 = 124 / 80

I have also gained 20 pounds already in 16 weeks. I have read that BP is supposed to GO DOWN in second trimester, and the consistency of my readings in the 130s top number and 80s in the bottom number (even as I now monitor at home) has me thinking I'm definitely going to get preeclampsia.

Again, my doctor is aware of my weight and these numbers, and says she has NO concerns yet. I'm not looking for medical advice, just wondering if anyone else has hit these numbers this early and still had a healthy, boring rest of their pregnancy?

Specifically curious about those who had fully medicated transfers, since I know the lack of a corpus luteum can sometimes make BP management harder.

Hey - looking for some success stories or similar experiences (even if bad outcome) to help me understand my outlook and calm my nerves.

NOTE: I've repeatedly checked in with my doctor on both my weight gain (+20lbs 😩) and BP and she continues to have NO CONCERNS as of yet. I am looking for community stories. I am also already taking baby aspirin, as prescribed by my doctor.

Currently 16w after a fully medicated FET. I'm 37 in 2 months, and started pregnancy with a higher BMI (~26.5). While my BP has always been great before pregnancy (average from 3 instances taken Sep-25 to Jan-26 was 114/71), it has been creeping up already throughout this pregnancy.

• 10+5 = 118 / 74
• 12+5 = 122 / 80
• 14+4 = 130 / 80
• 15+6 = 124 / 80

I have also gained 20 pounds already in 16 weeks. I have read that BP is supposed to GO DOWN in second trimester, and the consistency of my readings in the 130s top number and 80s in the bottom number (even as I now monitor at home) has me thinking I'm definitely going to get preeclampsia.

Again, my doctor is aware of my weight and these numbers, and says she has NO concerns yet. I'm not looking for medical advice, just wondering if anyone else has hit these numbers this early and still had a healthy, boring rest of their pregnancy?

Specifically curious about those who had fully medicated transfers, since I know the lack of a corpus luteum can sometimes make BP management harder.