r/tryingforanother

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Hi all, I hope you are all doing well. For those who are doing IVF, did IVF, who are naturally trying or tried naturally to get pregnant for a second baby, or maybe third or fourth, what was your last straw? What made you decide to stop?

We are doing IVF again to give my daughter an earth side sibling, our transfer in March failed, and just had a recent one.

After we lost our second daughter in December who was conceived spontaneously, I feel like there’s nothing good that’s going to happen, I just feel so pessimistic, frustrated and defeated. I don’t think I can do more IVF transfers if this recent one failed again. I am just tired and I want to live my life again but I really want to give my daughter a sibling.

I’m sorry if this is long, I just feel so lonely at the moment.

Posting this because I truly did not anticipate this situation and really curious if anyone else had had this experience. My cycles are 24-27 days and very regular. More often than not 25-26 days. I’ve been tracking ovulation with OPKs, Inito, and CBAD. I also have an Oura ring and track temps. I’m not lacking data. I ovulated and confirmed ovulation on CD13. I typically have 13-14 day luteal phases every month. My ovulation day has been earlier but my luteal phase is like clockwork. This cycle I am projected to start my period on Friday or Saturday (CD 27/28 for a 26-27 day cycle length). I’m CD25 today and 12 DPO and have seemingly started my period or have started spotting and will start my period later today. I’m super confused by this as I know my ovulation day and confirmed it with temps and progesterone increase.

I didn’t think your luteal phase could shorten suddenly. I’m so confused and already have developed pretty bad health anxiety from all the data and tracking the last few months. Is there anyone who’s experienced a randomly shorter luteal phase????

Hi everyone. I’m 35, and had my son last year. He’s 7 months old and we’re trying for another since we’re already older parents. I exclusively pump but am down to 3x per day (about 20 oz a day). I got my period back in January and have been very consistent- 16-18 of the month is the first day of my period. We use ovulation tests to track my fertile days.

I’m 5 days late and have gotten nothing but negative tests. I’ll be making a doctors appointment this week for a blood test. Has this ever happened to anyone? What could be going on? Thank you ❤️

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

A weekly dedicated space for members who have been trying for another for 12 or more months, experiencing infertility. Talk of treatment, testing/diagnosis, or tough feelings are welcome here. While this is a safe space to vent, please consider how other long haulers in different circumstances may feel about your words.

This thread is primarily for current long-haulers to connect with, vent to, and support each other. We ask that anyone else (including TFA grads and those whose current round of TTC has been less than 12 months) participate only to answer questions where your personal experience is relevant - for example, if someone asks about the side effects of a fertility treatment you have tried. For more general support, sympathy, and finger-crossing, in this thread, if you have not currently been trying for at least 12 months, please stick to a quiet upvote.

This thread is not meant to limit discussion only to this thread. Discussion of long haul issues is always welcome in the Daily Chat.

I’m having a particularly hard time tonight. The sheer desperation is consuming me. I am surrounded by pregnant women or friends who have just delivered. I’m almost 42. I’m furious with my husband for taking so fucking long to agree to start trying. I was already 41. Feels like sabotage.

I am such an optimistic person by nature and this has challenged the very core of my being. It’s a grief like nothing I’ve ever known.

And to make matters worse, my daughter is baby crazy. Asks constantly. Wants to admire every baby we pass in the street. I die a little more inside every day. It’s too much.

Every month I’m filled with so much hope. This period has been particularly brutal. Unbelievably heavy. A painful reminder of what my body cannot seem to do for me.

Why can’t I just be so grateful for the incredible child I have? I am so lost in this fading dream.

Same old story I suppose..Cycle 8 of trying. Conceived my first easily after an early miscarriage. Now nothing seems to be working, month after month after month, despite every test being “normal”… Not eligible for anything on the NHS, so having to self fund privately. I just feel so deflated. I’m on thyroxine and progesterone pessaries and spotting & bleeding once again on day 27…I realise I’m staring down the barrel of IVF and I just don’t understand what I’ve done to end up here. I feel so alone. So - if anyone can share a little ray of sunshine - I’m in desperate need at the moment. Thank you.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

So incredibly frustrated. Stark white first response test - 3 days before period. I know, it's still a tad early. But I should have a faint line by now. 10th cycle. It is so utterly impossible to think about going through another month. And then what is next - appointments, medications, tests.

My tsh is slightly elevated so I've been on meds for 3 weeks. Don't know why I had the stupidity to think that would suddenly fix everything. I'm so tired of this. Our first took over a year but thankfully didn't need to go down to the fertility treatment route. It seems so unfair to experience this again and it could be longer and harder this time.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

Not that some don’t ( I think it’s at most half the couples that keep trying? Are pregnant by a year) but entering month 7 of TTC our second (third pregnancy), and I keep seeing people say that it’s perfectly normal and average. But if 75-80% of people my age are pregnant by now, and then by only 12 months is it 85-90%, that’s still only half of the people who continue trying. I’m not a math whiz so maybe I’m just looking at this with the glass half empty, but it’s harder to feel like we’re just unlucky at this point than that there’s an underlying issue.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

I wanna be cool and fun and just enjoy life right now and randomly realize that we're gonna have another baby! But in reality the control freak and planning monster crawls out from the back of the bathroom closet with a LH test strip telling me that tracking one cycle won't hurt just to have a better idea of when I'm ovulating now that my cycle has changed PP! Then just like an addict, I'm huddled in the bathroom checking my pee every morning trying to play chill when my husband randomly walks in. I'm now full blown tracking and obsessing and we didn't even pull the goalie for a whole month before my TTC gremlin came out. I imagine my gremlin is like those things in Bigmouth. Anyone else?

Took a break after trying for 9 months to work on some lifestyle changes. I conceived first try with my first. When we tried again first time I had a chemical. Then the next 8 cycles after that, nothing. I have some really good signs now that I’m more fertile like I’m having the highest lh I’ve ever had and way more cervical mucus than I’ve ever had as well. I’m trying soooooo hard to remain positive that it can actually happen, but still so afraid to be let down. I also still know that it’s only like a 23% chance to conceive each cycle so reminding myself we can keep trying again if it doesn’t happen this time.

Tell us about everything! Only thing that isn't allowed is BFP and pregnancy talk - those have their own threads.

I'm TTC our second child, I turned 39 last month. We are going on cycle 5 this month. We had a chemical on cycle 2.

I know it’s recommended to wait 6 months before getting testing/considering assistance, but given my age, I reached out to an IVF clinic right after the chemical in February.

We are still getting tests done over the next weeks including my husbands SA. And we are meeting with the doctor next month to discuss the result.

But since I got the results back for this particular panel, I was curious to ask this community about their experience if they’ve been in my shoes.

AMH: 1.45 ng/mL
Estradiol: 51.8 pg/mL
FSH: 9.8 mIU/mL

My main concern right now is whether my husband and I should just jump straight into IVF. Or continue to try naturally.

The government will cover 1 round. And we only have the budget for 1 round out of pocket. So we’re realistically looking at 2 rounds. Which I’ve read can sometimes not even be enough for a woman my age.

Part of me doesn't want any medical intervention at all; to just continue trying naturally, with a cutoff of summer 2027 if it hasn't happened. Then it's not meant to happen.

The other side of me weirdly wants to just jump in with two feet into IVF. Just make it happen as swiftly as possible.

It's this in between of deciding is giving me a lot of stress and anxiety.

I was hoping the labs would give us a bit more clarity on the best course of action.

A weekly dedicated space for members who have been trying for another for 12 or more months, experiencing infertility. Talk of treatment, testing/diagnosis, or tough feelings are welcome here. While this is a safe space to vent, please consider how other long haulers in different circumstances may feel about your words.

This thread is primarily for current long-haulers to connect with, vent to, and support each other. We ask that anyone else (including TFA grads and those whose current round of TTC has been less than 12 months) participate only to answer questions where your personal experience is relevant - for example, if someone asks about the side effects of a fertility treatment you have tried. For more general support, sympathy, and finger-crossing, in this thread, if you have not currently been trying for at least 12 months, please stick to a quiet upvote.

This thread is not meant to limit discussion only to this thread. Discussion of long haul issues is always welcome in the Daily Chat.