u/812ferrarii

I don’t do relationships/dating for a lot of reasons and this is one of them. I’m 22F and whenever I like someone I get seriously so distracted I think about them all the time, can’t focus on studying and exams, I cant tell them no when they want to see me at anytime (especially because me and everyone I liked are not geographically stable so I can’t not see them when we’re in the same city) can’t focus on anything how do people do it? Whether it’s going well or something bad happened it heavily distractes me either way to the point where I stopped talking to someone I liked because it was seriously affecting my grades. I can only imagine it’s going to be the same when I’m working so is there a solution to this? Does it ever end

The only time dating worked for me was when I did not like them because I didn’t care about them and I don’t wanna be with someone I don’t like it’s unfair for both of us

I’m 21F and the youngest out of 5. My dad was always super loving with me growing up but also really strict, especially with my siblings. I always knew I got special treatment tho, like he’d never really say no to me or get mad at me the way he did with them. He still had limits obviously, like no smoking, no drinking underage etc nothing “scandalous”.

When I was 16 me and him traveled together to Greece and I told him I wanted to drink and go clubbing which is a big no no in our family at 16 especially for a girl, and in a foreign country alone I honestly don’t know I find it better to not think about this because I feel bad about younger me and ashamed as well, anyway Instead of getting mad he said he appreciated that I was honest with him and that I was the only one who respected him enough not to do things behind his back. He told me I could do whatever as long as I told him first, except drugs. He was VERY serious about drugs. From then until I was 20 he’d randomly text me reminders telling me to never touch them because he’d never forgive me if I did, because his friend’s sons and people he knew and died from drugs or suffer because of it stuff like that.

Fast forward to 18, we got into a huge fight over something stupid and didn’t talk for 6 months. He missed/ignored a lot of important stuff like my graduation and uni acceptance, didn’t even congratulate me nothing (but he got gifts for all my cousins). At the end of summer I moved abroad for uni so eventually we had to make up. After that we mostly just texted here and there and most of the time it was me drunk texting him. he found it funny and adorable? idk, looking back it was kinda adorable it’d be stuff like I love you best dad ever I miss you and would send him my baby pics with him with crying emojis, but it’s still weird that he was

fine with it, and would call me “fun” (fun=alcoholic).

Later I told him I started smoking and he was completely okay with it too. He literally called me fun again. Which confused me because what’s fun about ruining your lungs? Anyway around 19-20 I wanted to quit drinking and every time I told him he’d say stuff like “why? you’re young enjoy your life” and he’d send me “gifts” which are just like nice wine bottles, I ended up relapsing anyway but not because of him so it doesn’t matter I guess.

Then one time I tried coke. I didn’t tell him at first because he was always so intense about drugs so I thought he’d actually get mad. But when I eventually told him while drunk that I tried coke and smoked weed a few times, he did not care at all. No reaction.

Now I’ve been sober from everything for a year and he still randomly asks me if I need money for weed, COKE, alcohol, cigarettes???? Whenever I tell him he’s being weird and that it feels like he doesn’t care about me my future my image my health he says if he’s strict then I’ll just hide things from him like my siblings did. I keep telling him there’s a middle ground between being controlling and encouraging your daughter to destroy herself but the conversation never really goes anywhere so I stopped trying. I do resent him now and don’t think I can like him again but I can’t tell if he still loves me or just wants me to poison myself and die

Btw my mom is completely in the picture, she’s very close to me except I don’t tell her about the drugs, alcoholism and things my dad tells me. She probably knows but in denial because she wouldn’t get angry she’d just get extremely depressed because in her head I’m still a 5yo lil girl

So I get sleep paralysis often, but it’s never the typical demon hallucination one like ever until this one time, except I don’t think it was a hallucination in this case. 3 years ago me and my friend were sleeping in the same room, we were living in this house when we first moved abroad for uni and we never encountered anything alarming in that house but my friend’s room always creeped me out it had a weird vibe and I never slept there so that was my first time, in the middle of the night I had a sleep paralysis and I was in the same room with my friend everything was the same except for this old pale skinny woman sitting on my friend’s chest and had her mouth wide open like she was screaming at her and there was another figure standing in the corner, I don’t remember much but I remember getting defensive and was trying VERY hard to scream at her stuff like “get offf my friendd stay away from herr” and I was trying to give her the middle finger too idk why lmao but anyway I don’t remember much I think I just went back to sleep after that. next morning I was telling my friend what happened and here’s the scary part…she also had a sleep paralysis and described the same. Exact. Thing.

We’ve never opened the subject again never spoke about it nothing we’re just acting like it never happened but I still think about it every now and then.

I get crazy insomnia maybe two nights a year so this isn’t exactly new but 48 hours straight is a new record for me I’m so wide awake it’s not even funny, I tried panadol night because it always knocks me out but this time didn’t work, chamomile tea, meditated, showered, relaxed, magnesium alll are not working what am I supposed to do now? I don’t drink coffee I don’t drink energy drinks I only had a matcha 11 hours ago so I doubt this is why I’m still awake. If I’m being completely honest a part of me feels like this is actually a dream or maybe I’m just going insane I don’t know

I’m 21 and I’ve been getting it weekly since I was 14, I sleep very well (8-12hours) and I wouldn’t describe my life as stressful and I don’t drink is there something I’m missing? I really don’t understand why, I’ve mentioned here yesterday that once I had a joint one with my friend too? I don’t even know what to call it. And and sometimes it’s this loop where at least 3 times I’d think I woke up but I didn’t, and then I’d wake up for real wash my face go back to sleep and it keeps happening until I can’t go back to sleep, it’s exhausting and terrifying if I get it one more time I truly don’t think I’d survive it, the thing is they’re not scary as in hallucinations because I rarely hallucinate but the feeling of being paralyzed and sometimes they’re those random nightmares idk how to explain it, I can manage when someone is sleeping next to me because they can feel me shaking or trying to move so they wake me up (I also woke up a few times unconsciously screaming now the whole house is traumatized with me) but I live alone most of the time so I don’t know how to deal with it when I’m alone I feel like I’m going insane

I get sleep paralysis often, it’s rarely ever the typical D**** one but I had an extremely strange one 3y ago and I still can’t find an explanation. Me and my friend were sleeping in the same room, that room always creeped me out it had a weird vibe and I never slept there so that was my first time, I woke up in the middle of the night with a pale skinny old woman sitting on my friend and another person standing in the corner, I was trying hard to yell at her saying stuff like stay away from my friend I was trying to give her the middle finger too I don’t even know why because it’s not something I’d do irl lol but anyways I don’t remember the rest I think I just went back to sleep, when I woke up I told her about my “nightmare” and here’s the scary part…she had a sleep paralysis too and she described the same. Exact. One. It freaks me out to this day.

Without going into too much details, someone cheats on you with a one night stand while you’re engaged but comes clean the next day and tells you everything, what do you do?

Reasons for cheating: I’m waiting for marriage so we can’t have sex, I’m assuming that is the only reason since it was a one night stand because when he told me what he did he didn’t use that as an excuse or tried to blame it on something else he just owned up his mistake and is trying to fix it, I told him I need some time for myself. It’s the fact that he told me out of nowhere when I wasn’t suspecting it I don’t even think I had time to suspect anything, I don’t know what to do

Excuse me if this is worded weirdly English is not my first language but anyway. In their 20’s they’re still young so it’s somewhat excusable when they’re childish and immature, when they’re in 40’s they’re mature, don’t act serious 24/7 to impress people, know how to handle problems overall normal human beings and they act their age. But when they’re in their 30’s they just hit a financial milestone (hard work starting to pay off) so they make it their whole personality, act like eveeerybody wants them and everyone wants to marry them, think they’re still young so they act like they’re in 20’s while also thinking they’re old enough to be “daddies” which is cringe, balding enough for it to show but not enough that they admit it or get a hair transplant. Now why am I saying this? No reason just wanna hear your thoughts about it

Feel like I have to share my experience to help someone from making the same mistake. There’s not much to tell but don’t use boob tape girls…I use it a lot until one time I slept with it and when I took it off half of my nipple was gone, it wasn’t even that painful I didn’t notice until later when I touched my boobs and something felt off (yes it grew back)

I used to be the happiest person around, and everyone would tell me I make them feel happier and “alive”, I think I still do sometimes, emphasis on sometimes because I barely wanna see anyone anymore, and no one’s noticing anyway. you’d think the weight loss, the scars on my wrist, never wanting to leave the house, grades dropping from A’s to F’s, the raging alcoholism (that I stopped, thankfully) would be noticeable by those around me who claim they care, but nope not a thing, I think it’s been 2 years now? I don’t remember when it came back but at the end of the day I don’t blame anyone, everyone got a lot on their plates and I still put my mask on when I leave the house so I guess it is really unnoticeable, even though I’m always noticing when the roles are reversed. It’s a blessing and a curse because it sucks for a minute but then I’m glad no one is saying anything because I don’t want to get better, and it’s comforting knowing my loved ones’ lives are not gonna be affected when I’m gone