u/AbstractAbby20

I have seen ads for lawyers that help people with cases such as not getting paid their wages.

Do stipends/additional pay not outlined in a contract but promised otherwise via email, word of mouth, HR confirmation, etc. Count as wages??

Legally what are employers required to do/say regarding additional compensation like this? Asking because I am a public school employee and Ive always wondered about this because some school districts do stipends for additional duties or hours.

Hey! My husband (26M) has episodic migraines. They are usually 2-3 a month and there has been no link other than sometimes its because hes dehydrated. Other times it seems linked to it being too hot outside, and depression or stress related.

He has a history of depression but will never go on antidepressants again because of some situations he went through when he was a teenager in the foster care system where they misdiagnosed him with a bunch of stuff to justify pumping him full of meds.

Today his migraine was very bad. He has medications he can take to treat the headaches and try and stop it (?) But he didnt have them on him as we just moved states, he forgot to put them in his lunch bag, and he hadn't had an episode this bad since may of last year where he got sent to the ER because he couldnt formulate his words.

He vomited twice at work, drove home, took his medications and is now asleep. I tried talking to him about seeing a doctor again because we haven't tried any preventative medicine, only these symptomatic medications, and he got upset at me and yelled saying there was nothing we could do. I am trying hard not to take it personally but I feel so defeated. Every time he gets a migraine like this he isn't able to work and this new job he just got is a very good promising job as a career but he has no sick days or PTO until 180 consecutive days of work so I am very concerned we will be going through another period of unemployment if it stays like this.

Am i right in wondering that theres got to be something preventative he can do?? Any advice would help. He says he watches his hydration, tracks symptoms mentally, and that this one snuck up on him and he is actually confused as to what caused it.​

UPDATE: My contract says that I have to teach K-8 and I just got an email back from HR saying the stipend is specifically for "coaching" a band club. But it doesn't specify what the hours are/what type of band I need to coach to earn the stipend. The email with my question was forwarded to the assistant superintendent because I am just trying to figure out if everything the principal is saying is true or just him trying to bully me into working more hours. Until there is a resolution, I have told my principal I am open to meeting with him and the assistant principal in person to look over the proposed schedule and handbook rules I have created. I am trying to avoid doing it "his way" because frankly his way is preposterous and would not end well for anyone.

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Edit: I know this is a bad job. I know i should probably just quit. financially I do not have the luxury of that option and there are no other positions open right now. Believe me I am looking every day for more positions and there are none.

I will not be sharing the name of my school for anonymity but I will share that it is a charter school.

My family just moved to this state (keeping it anonymous) from TX. It all happened very fast because my husband lost his job but then got a good opportunity here so we moved. I didnt have the chance to apply for my license by reciprocity with everything going on so I needed to get a job in a charter school.

When they interviewed me for the job, they mentioned they wanted a person with band experience because the principal at the middle high school (they are opening it for the first time this year with only 200 students 6th-8th grade) really wanted a band. I told them honestly it wouldn't be a good idea this year because a band takes lots of planning and it was almost the end of the summer. I asked if it would be a collaboration and if he would work with me and my advice and they said yes. I took the job because it was the only offer I could get.

Fast forward to now, here is what is happening.

I attempted to meet with the principal to give him my proposed handbook and plan for the program. I asked him if it was possible to rework the schedule and make band a class. He straight up said no, and that I would have to commit to multiple weekly rehearsals AFTER SCHOOL. For all the beginners. I told him we can do that but the program would not be ready to play at pep rallies or do multiple concerts. He said "they will be ready, just maybe not at a high level". I tried respectfully telling him I would not be doing that to the students and to my reputation, and that it could be acceptable to do a winter open house demonstration and one spring concert.

He cut me off, said he had a meeting, and walked away. Another co worker says she thinks it is because I am a young woman. (This principal is older and Turkish. Many of our admin are also of this demographic and a lot of the women that work under them have had similar issues. One of them is a woman and gay and she is quitting after this year because of all the veiled snark and hate she has gotten). The man refused to shake my hand or make eye contact with me which is unprofessional and rude.​​

He has been repeatedly using the existence of my stipend for this program to try and bully me into having rehearsal every day after school despite me also teaching K-5 music at the school next door and having a club of my own over there. He also tried to get me to open the band to 4th and 5th grade. I said no to both those things. I told him its ok if we don't start this year and we can build up the parent support and resources.

He has dug his heels in. He verbatim said "I dont care what it takes, youre getting a stipend and we are doing a band". So far we compromised on having an interest meeting where we will discuss the plan, cost of renting, etc. If we get enough parents, I have to do this. If we dont, I am afraid to see what he will do.

I have tried the following- getting his assistant to talk some sense into him and convince him to hear me out. I have also tried getting contacts from the area to corroborate my advice and plan with him. He has consistently steam rolled over everything I have said, to the point where I found a flyer on the bulletin board in the cafeteria saying I would be offering ALL INSTRUMENTS the first year and playing at MULTIPLE CONCERTS. This happened after I had already told him verbally and in writing we would only be offering flex arrangements and less expensive instruments to start.

This idea is my last resort. WIBTAH if I called up the superintendent and said "I dont want your stipend anymore, please amend my contract". Then I would go to the principal and say "I am not getting a stipend anymore, run it yourself"?

UPDATE: My contract says that I have to teach K-8 and I just got an email back from HR saying the stipend is specifically for band club. But it doesn't specify what the hours are/what type of band I need to coach to earn the stipend. The email with my question was forwarded to the assistant superintendent because I am just trying to figure out if everything the principal is saying is true or just him trying to bully me into working more hours. Until there is a resolution, I have told my principal I am open to meeting with him and the assistant principal in person to look over the proposed schedule and handbook rules I have created. I am trying to avoid doing it "his way" because frankly his way is preposterous and would not end well for anyone.

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I will not be sharing the name of my school for anonymity but I will share that it is a charter school.

My family just moved to this state (keeping it anonymous) from TX. It all happened very fast because my husband lost his job but then got a good opportunity here so we moved. I didnt have the chance to apply for my license by reciprocity with everything going on so I needed to get a job in a charter school.

When they interviewed me for the job, they mentioned they wanted a person with band experience because the principal at the middle high school (they are opening it for the first time this year with only 200 students 6th-8th grade) really wanted a band. I told them honestly it wouldn't be a good idea this year because a band takes lots of planning and it was almost the end of the summer. I asked if it would be a collaboration and if he would work with me and my advice and they said yes. I took the job because it was the only offer I could get.

Fast forward to now, here is what is happening.

I attempted to meet with the principal to give him my proposed handbook and plan for the program. I asked him if it was possible to rework the schedule and make band a class. He straight up said no, and that I would have to commit to multiple weekly rehearsals AFTER SCHOOL. For all the beginners. I told him we can do that but the program would not be ready to play at pep rallies or do multiple concerts. He said "they will be ready, just maybe not at a high level". I tried respectfully telling him I would not be doing that to the students and to my reputation, and that it could be acceptable to do a winter open house demonstration and one spring concert.

He cut me off, said he had a meeting, and walked away. Another co worker says she thinks it is because I am a young woman. (This principal is older and Turkish. Many of our admin are also of this demographic and a lot of the women that work under them have had similar issues. One of them is a woman and gay and she is quitting after this year because of all the veiled snark and hate she has gotten). The man refused to shake my hand or make eye contact with me which is unprofessional and rude.​​

He has been repeatedly using the existence of my stipend for this program to try and bully me into having rehearsal every day after school despite me also teaching K-5 music at the school next door and having a club of my own over there. He also tried to get me to open the band to 4th and 5th grade. I said no to both those things. I told him its ok if we don't start this year and we can build up the parent support and resources.

He has dug his heels in. He verbatim said "I dont care what it takes, youre getting a stipend and we are doing a band". So far we compromised on having an interest meeting where we will discuss the plan, cost of renting, etc. If we get enough parents, I have to do this. If we dont, I am afraid to see what he will do.

I have tried the following- getting his assistant to talk some sense into him and convince him to hear me out. I have also tried getting contacts from the area to corroborate my advice and plan with him. He has consistently steam rolled over everything I have said, to the point where I found a flyer on the bulletin board in the cafeteria saying I would be offering ALL INSTRUMENTS the first year and playing at MULTIPLE CONCERTS. This happened after I had already told him verbally and in writing we would only be offering flex arrangements and less expensive instruments to start.

This idea is my last resort. WIBTAH if I called up the superintendent and said "I dont want your stipend anymore, please amend my contract". Then I would go to the principal and say "I am not getting a stipend anymore, run it yourself"?

I will not be sharing the name of my school for anonymity but I will share that it is a charter school in Arkansas.

My family just moved to AR from TX. It all happened very fast because my husband lost his job but then got a good opportunity here so we moved. I didnt have the chance to apply for my license by reciprocity with everything going on so I needed to get a job in a charter school.

When they interviewed me for the job, they mentioned they wanted a person with band experience because the principal at the middle high school (they are opening it for the first time this year with only 200 students 6th-8th grade) really wanted a band. I told them honestly it wouldn't be a good idea this year because a band takes lots of planning and it was almost the end of the summer. I asked if it would be a collaboration and if he would work with me and my advice and they said yes. I took the job because it was the only offer I could get.

Fast forward to now, here is what is happening.

I attempted to meet with the principal to give him my proposed handbook and plan for the program. I asked him if it was possible to rework the schedule and make band a class. He straight up said no, and that I would have to commit to multiple weekly rehearsals AFTER SCHOOL. For all the beginners. I told him we can do that but the program would not be ready to play at pep rallies or do multiple concerts. He said "they will be ready, just maybe not at a high level". I tried respectfully telling him I would not be doing that to the students and to my reputation, and that it could be acceptable to do a winter open house demonstration and one spring concert.

He cut me off, said he had a meeting, and walked away. Another co worker says she thinks it is because i am a young woman. (This principal is older and Turkish. Many of our admin are also of this demographic and a lot of the women that work under them have had similar issues). The man refused to shake my hand or make eye contact with me.​​

He has been repeatedly using the existence of my stipend for this program to try and bully me into having rehearsal every day after school despite me also teaching K-5 music at the school next door and having a club of my own over there. He also tried to get me to open the band to 4th and 5th grade. I said no to both those things. I told him its ok if we don't start this year and we can build up the parent support and resources.

He has dug his heels in. He verbatim said "I dont care what it takes, youre getting a stipend and we are doing a band". So far we compromised on having an interest meeting where we will discuss the plan, cost of renting, etc. If we get enough parents, I have to do this. If we dont, I am afraid to see what he will do.

I have tried the following- getting his assistant to talk some sense into him and convince him to hear me out. I have also tried getting contacts from the area to corroborate my advice and plan with him. He has consistently steam rolled over everything I have said, to the point where I found a flyer on the bulletin board in the cafeteria saying I would be offering ALL INSTRUMENTS the first year and playing at MULTIPLE CONCERTS. This happened after I had already told him verbally and in writing we would only be offering flex arrangements and less expensive instruments to start.

I dont know what to do. I dont want to quit, I need the money. But this one principal and whole band thing is ruining my love for teaching. What else can I do?

I have thought about calling up the superintendent and saying "I dont want your stipend anymore, please amend my contract". Then I can go to the principal and say "I am not getting a stipend anymore, run it yourself".

TLDR- What would YOU DO if your principal asked you to start a band program and then refused to listen to any of your advice or hear you out?​

Asking because I have IBS and a bunch of gut issues and my doctor mentioned the possibility of metformin today and my thoughts are mixed because my suspected PMOS is so manageable I feel like all the metformin would do is help me lose weight but make my gut worse.

For reference, my hormone labs always come back normal but an ultrasound i had three years ago suggested PMOS but the doctor then said no followup needed as long as I stay away from being insulin resistant (what the heck). I was insulin resistant once my first year of marriage last year but reversed it through diet and exercise. I still have weight to lose now and have all the issues around my period but no cysts or other side effects like insulin resistance. Is metformin good for other things in pcos or is it just for the weight aspect?​

I was recently diagnosed and have been taking 40mg of pantoprazole for almost a month. I am battling a mysterious cold/flu and about to go see a doctor and am curious if what im about to share is considered a reflux thing or just me being sick.

I dry heaved in a box for 5 minutes and felt my stomach pushing food up but nothing happened. It was because I was coughing so hard that I think it trigged the reflux.

When you guys are sick, do you find coughing and respiratory symptoms are worse because of your LPR? I dont remember colds or even the flu being this rough for me before getting diagnosed.

So I have had a low grade fever (99.5) for several days now and at first my only symptom was scratchy throat and the low grade fever. I continued to do what I normally do.​ I was just diagnosed with LPR (silent reflux) so take a PPI every morning before breakfast. It hasn't been giving me any problems recently and that combined with eating less and drinking more water plus cutting out dairy and soy at the recommendation of my doctor has helped a lot!!! I was a little constipated a day before this fever but didnt think anything of it.

Day 3 of low grade fever. Now....

3 cases of yellow diarrhea. And I mean YELLOW. It is stinky, floats, etc.​ My stool was looser yesterday and slightly yellow plus I had naseua so I ate a BRAT diet and dehydrated with some electrolytes.

I guess all that to say is... without the stomach symptoms I would consider what I have to be laryngitis. Not something serious. But add yellow diarrhea and now it could be covid, viral infection, bacterial, etc.

When you guys get sick, do you find your gut does weird things like this? Or should I link these symptoms together? I dont want to go to a doctor and tell them all the symptoms and have them go in a wrong direction because of the diarrhea but I also dont want it to be ignored because I was doing pretty good last week before all this.​

TLDR- having viral symptoms that would not be considered as serious if I didnt also have IBS/gut symptoms like yellow diarrhea and naseua. When you IBS people's are sick, do you find it messes with all that stuff? Or is it clinically significant and related?​

I was recently diagnosed with mild reflux, and the doctor prescribed me to take 40mg of Pantoprazole everyday before breakfast for 8 weeks.

I know diarrhea is a symptom of Pantoprazole, but every thing I am reading is saying it is only temporary and should get better. I am asking for anyone's experience with this medication and diarrhea as a side effect. I was diagnosed via endoscopy/colonoscopy because I also have IBS and was experiencing more frequent flares and symptoms and we are still trying to find the root cause.

I am under a lot of stress right now which may be a factor but usually stress gives me constipation, not diarrhea. We just moved across state lines, I am starting a new job Monday and have no idea what insurance I will have so getting a new doctor right now is not an option. My only thought is it could be overflowing diarrhea becayse I have been constipated the past two days but I usually don't get diarrhea like this from that.

I did a stool test a month ago that was negative for Cdiff, Hplyori, all the bacteria stuff..I dont want to stop the medication, but I want to know if these symptoms are managable, or if I should just prepare for the worst and go to work wearing a diaper. I was doing decent with my IBS and reflux and I feel like this medication put a big dent in my progress.​

I was thinking of starting psyllium husk to see if that would bind my stool but I am hesitant to add anything new to the routine right now. Today I had one regular meal and then after that Ive been on BRAT diet and still getting crampy watery diarrhea 20 minutes after eating.

Hey! Context: 24F, dealing with IBS and on and off gut issues for 6 years. I got a colonoscopy and upper EGD at the beginning of July to try and rule out IBD because I had high calprotectin and other inflammatory markers.

They found inflammation in the ileum so took a biopsy to test for Crohn's and another biopsy to test for enzyme defiencies.

I got my results back today and this is what the doctor said:

"Hi, ​ ​
​ ​
I hope that you are doing well and had a good weekend. ​ ​I received your pathology results. ​ ​On the biopsies, the area of inflammation in the end of the small intestine just shows acute irritation, no evidence of any chronic inflammation. ​ ​Thankfully this is negative for inflammatory bowel disease. ​ ​There is evidence of reflux esophagitis/GERD. ​ ​There is also evidence of pretty significant lactase deficiency. ​ ​There are borderline low levels ofsucrase and maltase; in true deficiency they should be much lower similar to the lactase deficiency.
​ ​
I am sending you a prescription for pantoprazole that I would like you to start taking every day. ​​I also want to have you alter your diet to go completely dairy and soy free. ​ ​I also would like you should try and avoid any protein supplements that contain whey protein..."

I am genuinely confused because when I looked up the condition, none of the associated symptoms I have experienced. I have never had acid reflux except for rare occasions where maybe I was eating and laying in a weird position. All my symptoms are alternating bowel habits. I do get bloated and gassy but always thought that was IBS.

Does anyone else have experience with this? being diagnosed without symptoms?

Additionally, does anyone have experience with these dietary changes? I am already lactose free and have been dairy free before but I don't know anything about being soy free. If anyone can think of any suggestions or questions I should ask the doctor please let me know. This is such a shock to me!

24F- diagnosed with IBS but having on and off problems since 2020 so I got another colonoscopy two weeks ago on July 1st to rule out IBD after getting a stool test with elevated calprotectin and other inflammatory markers (no parasites or bacteria)

After the colonoscopy I felt fine, stools were weird a few days and then I went back to normal. I went back to my daily routine. The doctor told me to take Miralax everyday so I have been doing that as well though my symptoms are not predominantly constipation. He thinks it could be overflow diarrhea from constipation so he told me to take it everyday. Ive been taking half a cap because a whole cap was too much.

My stools have been mostly normal, the right color, and consistency for several days. Yesterday I woke up in the morning, had breakfast, and had the best poop I have had in such a long time! I thought it was the miralax working combined with my increased fiber and water.

Then randomly after lunch I started getting this awful bloating and painful cramps. It literally felt like I was getting my period (even though Im not). I had to use the restroom every 5 minutes for about an hour. By the end of the hour, my bowel movement was mucus fluffy looking, like if you were to soak dog kibble in water. When I wiped, jelly mucus.

I was so confused. How do I go from amazing perfect poops in the morning to mild diarrhea and stomach cramps in the evening?

After my colonoscopy the doctor ruled out celiac, and didnt find any polyps or lesions. There was inflammation in the ileum so he took a biopsy for Crohns and I am just nervously awaiting my results.

Does this sound like a typical IBS flare? Could it be the daily miralax is too much? I didnt take last night's dose just to see how today is. I might go down to a quarter of a cap or take half a cap every other day.​​