u/AdCreepy8951

Problem/Goal: He lied about deactivating his intagram account when I said that I'll follow him.

Context: I'm recently talking to someone for 3 weeks now and I can say that we are not more than friends but less than lovers. I let him chose whether we exchange on ig or tg, until we decided to switch on tg instead. The more we talk, the more I feel comfortable with him. He made me feel that he's interested in getting to know me. Kapag di ako nakakapagreply within the day, magddouble msg siya at hahanapin niya ko. Nag-aaya rin siya mag-call just so we can talk about anything, it doesn't feel transactional at all. I thought of switching on ig na sana since tg has a bad reputation. Na-hurt lang ako nung sinabi niyang dineactivate niya yung ig niya in order for him to focus on his upcoming exams but when I asked a friend that is also his friend, hindi naman daw deactivated ang ig niya. I'm just wondering why he lied instead of just saying the truth? Kasi he wanted to switch on ig din naman noon, pero bakit ngayon ayaw niya na? Is he unsure about getting closer with me?

Previous Attempts: None. Although I'll go ghost if he doesn't have any plans on confessing that he lied to me.

I just found out today that my father has been cheating behind my mom’s back for years. Not only that, but he also has a child with his mistress who’s already in elementary school. Which means this has been going on for a long time while we all had no idea.

What’s also messing with my head right now is remembering something that happened before. One time, my dad fetched me from the mall and, completely out of the blue, started laughing while asking me what I would do if I found out he had a mistress. Tinarayan ko lang siya. I tried not to think too much about it back then, but now that I know the truth, that memory makes me feel sick. Was he trying to test my reaction?

What makes this even harder to accept is that my mom gave him everything she could. Despite him not having a stable job for years, he still got to live comfortably because of her sacrifices. He owns collections of luxury watches bought through my mom’s hard work. All the lot my mother purchased was even named after him. The vehicles we owned were all under his name too. He was never lacking in comfort or things he wanted. He always had the latest devices and whatever he wanted. Kahit hindi niya naman talaga kailangan at luho lang, binibigay pa rin. The list goes on.

But even with all of that, it still wasn’t enough for him to stay faithful.

He was poor, never finished school, and had nothing stable in his life—but he had a loving wife like my mom, a professional who worked hard and gave him a better life. In many ways, he had everything because of her.

She kept choosing him, providing for him, protecting his pride, and building a life for our family all while he was secretly building another family behind our back. That’s the part that breaks me the most. He had comfort, support, and a family that loved him dearly, yet he still CHOSE to betray my mom. Us.

Ang sakit. Nakakagalit. Nanggagalaiti ako sa sarili kong ama. I can’t stop thinking about how someone can watch another person sacrifice so much for them and still choose to hurt them like this.

I honestly just hope my mom eventually realizes that she’s wasting more years of her life if she continues staying in this marriage instead of finally calling it off. I'm tired of seeing her sacrifice so much for someone who could betray her this easily and still come home acting normal. And as painful as it is to admit, it’s humiliating to have a father like him. He was never a good father nor a good husband. Loser.

His behavior has shown me exactly what I never want in a partner, and I am certain I will never marry a man like my father.

EDIT: Also, what infuriates me too is that he does not want to get a vasectomy dahil mawawala raw ang pagkalalaki niya. Instead, she wants my mom to adjust through undergoing ligation. Hindi pa ba sapat yung paghihirap na pinagdaanan ng nanay ko? What a loser, right?