PTSD-like symptoms due to bad memories from a long-distance situationship
Have you ever experienced manipulation that made you doubt your own memories? And then, when you eventually found out the truth, it left you feeling angry, hurt, and humiliated all at once? To make matters worse, the other person continued to lie, took zero accountability, flipped the script, and rewrote the story?
That's exactly what happened to me.
It happened a couple of years ago and lasted for a relatively short period of time, but somehow the impact never fully left me. Some days I barely think about it. Other days, I ruminate so much that I feel physically ill.
It was a truly horrible experience. I was extremely naive back then, couldn't articulate my thoughts well, and didn't trust my own intuition. And what that person did completely destroyed my mental health.
I have worked a lot on healing myself. But even now, there are days when I wake up and immediately remember the things that person said, the disgusting lies, the insulting things spoken behind my back, and most importantly, the attempts to manipulate me, manipulate others, and shift the blame for their mistakes onto me with no regard for my wellbeing. Only that person's needs and image seemed to matter.
I'm happy and truly grateful to God that it ended long ago, but somehow the trauma remains. I sometimes have vengeful thoughts too. I keep questioning how someone could do that to me and play the victim?
It was my first experience with a truly narcissistic person. The maliciousness, lack of empathy, and discovering the reality of that person's intentions truly shook me.
I really need help managing my thoughts, letting go of the trauma, and forgiving someone who will probably never apologize, if only for the sake of my own sanity.
Any advice?