u/Admirable-Yoghurt-72

Seriously, whoever started this stupid idea that therapy this therapy that is gonna solve your issue is a fraud.

I’ve seen like 8+ different counsellors throughout my entire life and not a single one of them is helpful. Especially at sfu. The last session I made, I decided to make my point clear on why I’m there in the first place and I told her directly and unambiguously, what the issue is and how to solve it.

As I expected and just like other past counsellors, she doesn’t answer the question. She plays mental gymnastics with me to keep me in a unsatisfied, controlled mental loop that I can’t break out of. Instead of giving a straight, simple solution, the convo always gets derailed into something else that has nothing to do with what I want to deal with. The result is to get me to keep going back in hopes of finding a better solution, but each and every time not getting one. This time, things got worse because she turned condescending and dismissive of the points I’m trying to bring up. At that point, I made the determination that she’s a shit counsellor and I wanted to hang up the phone.

I guess that’s their trick in getting you to keep coming back to try to milk as much money out of you as possible by not giving you a permanent fix and instead talking nonsense to waste an hour of your time.

I’m honestly probably gonna make a phone call and yell at the department for being useless workers who all they care about is their paychecks and not actually being the mental health support they claim to be

So far, most people who I met in real life, especially other Asian guys, when I tell them about my tastes, they think it’ll be a miracle to achieve. Others are unsure because they only date within their own race. Switching it up, online is a total hellscape. You got all these groups like aznidentity that call you self hating for wanting to outmarry. Then you got asianmasc whom all they do is spread doom and hopelessness.

I feel like I’m all alone in this in supporting myself and asking for advice. I pretty much at this point are asking non-asians for dating advice because everyone else in my community is citing the “oxford stats” or trying to drag me down to their level of hopelessness. It almost becomes bullying online.

Unlike western parents, asian parents don’t help invest in their child’s individual growth and help develop their identity and interests. Instead, it’s always read books and be obedient and the end result is to produce an army of doctors, lawyers, engineers, and accountants and other plain non-special fields. Not only that, but they train their children from birth to be submissive, beta and weak. This is especially hard on their sons. I’ve seen it over and over again including me. I know for a fact that my mom as well as other moms detest the idea of their sons developing muscle and calls them fat. While at the very same time, they would be the same ones who are attracted to muscular men of other ethnicities. Because of this personality type indoctrination, you can’t get far in much of those fields either. You just stay an obedient worker slave of mediocrity but never rise to the top executive level because the social aptitude was never developed because asian parents hate and prohibit their kids from talking back, standing up and speaking up for themselves by seeing it as disrespect, immaturity, selfish or a great evil to be silenced.

The result is you end up with self deprecating, non assertive individuals like me who struggle to fight for myself even today at 24. But going back, it feels like I can never have the freedom to discover what I truly enjoy thanks to such parents. If it were not for them, I imagine I would be trying out acting right now or even back then and I would have been in tv shows or if soccer turned out to be my natural talent back in childhood, I probably would have had the chance of getting into the academy and be playing at a club right now. All these rare possibilities might have had the potential to be possible. Now I know 90% of people are not extraordinary and never achieve this level of success, but with asian parents it’s unfortunately 100% impossible.

Even if I didn’t make it in the acting industry or sports, I at least would be satisfied that I tried and have some skills that I would be proud of. Instead, childhood was school. If not school, then homework club. If not school days, then chinese school, summer school or math tutoring. Everything was always about study study study, never about anything else. Any time I brought up something I might be interested in, I get like at best a one sentence neutral response but no commitment from them. That’s probably why a lot of asian gen z just watches anime or play video games but never any real sports or arts.

I’m in my 20s and I feel like my years are wasting away. They say it’s never too late for acting, but like certain roles are only open for people who are my age and they’re not gonna cast someone who’s in their 30s for these young roles that actors rely on to get to the top. Ken jeong is an example of someone who rebelled against his parents teachings and became an actor/comedy guy, but I feel like by the time he started, he was already past his prime. I feel so much resentment right now. I estimate I won’t be free from asian parents until 26 assuming things go according to plan, but even then, I still feel like they’re gonna have mental control over me because they know the buttons to press and I fear by the time I get to know myself and discover my own true interests, it’ll be too late

I know there were two people who were convicted a few years ago for spying on behalf of China while they got the fortunate opportunities of Uncle Sam trusting them with security clearances. I feel people like them are ruining everything. That somehow because you’re ethnically chinese, you owe unquestionable loyalty to the ccp. Unfortunately so far that’s been the mentality from a lot of people I know.

They also call me race traitor and guilt trip me for wanting to be in the navy. That I will never truly fit in there because nobody will trust me because I’m Chinese and that there will also be bullying and racism. What are your thoughts on that? Has that been the case or it’s total BS?

I know there were two people who were convicted a few years ago for spying on behalf of China while they got the fortunate opportunities of Uncle Sam trusting them with security clearances. I feel people like them are ruining everything. That somehow because you’re ethnically chinese, you owe unquestionable loyalty to the ccp. Unfortunately so far that’s been the mentality from a lot of people I know.

They also call me race traitor and guilt trip me for wanting to be in the navy. That I will never truly fit in there because nobody will trust me because I’m Chinese and that there will also be bullying and racism. What are your thoughts on that? Has that been the case or it’s total BS?

Legally immigrants who naturalize as citizens are treated the same except for two positions: the presidency and vice presidency. Other than that, they’re allowed to run for any other office or be able to work for top level secret clearance jobs. Do you think the natural born clause on the constitution should be changed to allow americans born overseas to have a chance for the presidency or no because the nation sees them as never having true loyalty to the country?

It happens every. single. time. I feel in shame, in despair. I feel like at this point, I’m made to be rejected and destined to die alone 😭 😭 😭. I feel so hopeless right now. Dating apps have failed me so I began talking to girls in person. Then when the messaging comes, it goes so well until she stops responding.

Every time it happens, I treat it as a rejection of me which brings shame, it brings what my asian parents said about me about how I’m a loser with no value to this world. It’s an endless suffering and their voice rings in my head every time events like this happen. I need help at this point but nobody wants to help because nobody cares about me. Even basic friendships I’m the most forgettable to everyone and I can never figure out why.

This site, especially now would just not stop with the constant america bashing both from outside and within the country. Even with the world cup genuinely impressing visitors including those who’ve never visited the USA before, famously including Haaland, rather than using these to redeem and change their perspectives to a more positive outlook, the only thing these users focus on all day long is the red card issue and the president. It’s like you can’t write anything positive about the usa without someone derailing it with constant negativity and invoking politics.

It’s been two years since I visited and honestly, I need to visit again to clean my mind of this place. None of this of course, changes my dream goal of US citizenship. One way or another, I’ll find a way to be on that path :). But I used to like think of the country way more positively and unapologetically than compared to now and I need to go back to being American admiring again without all the noise

From seeing scots arriving in Boston and drinking all the beer and singing American pie to Europeans taking home ranch sauce and touring different, unique parts of America, admitting the lies of the media told to them, followed by the arrival of Erling Haaland. Then you also got the Japanese team trying out the Texas version of BBQ and Germans developing a different perspective of the country after coming to see it in person, I think it’s permanently changed forever how Europeans and other nations view the USA in a positive way.

I decided to give it a try on Duolingo and the pronunciation seems pretty difficult. It sounds gibberish sometimes and comparing the app to street interviews, I feel like if I say what I hear on the app, people are gonna have a hard time understanding just like how I have a hard time understanding people from say, bulgaria speak english.

Any tips or advice? Also, I heard there’s multiple dialects which may complicate my understanding?

Nowadays whenever I cross the border into Washington, it feels like what Canada used to be 10 years ago. It feels so relaxing and normal, but ofc, I ain’t a citizen so I can’t stay there. So I made it my life dream to immigrate through employment via the professional degree pathway. In spite of popular opposition, i don’t care what others think. I should be doing things according to my own compass and yet idk why people love to mock, ridicule and even dictate someone else’s choices when it goes against the mob’s thinking.

Canada since 2018 has began to flood the entire country full of people from India to the point that virtually every min wage job aside from mall workers is an indian. I don’t like this. The nature of how government works is against my values and on the contrary I align more with the US constitution.