u/Adventurous_Hat_9571

So I saw my lawyer today and he told me to write out a declaration and I’m just afraid of not being believed again. What my LPR mother has done is sooo cartoonishly evil that it’s just unbelievable and ppl not believing me has made me question myself, but others have had similar experiences with her so I have to remind myself it’s real.

I have a past with PTSD and depression and such and I’m just afraid it’ll be used against me instead of it being “Ohh so the abuse did this to you.” I typed out 1753 words and just reading it back is… it sounds like I came up with the most awful things a person can do and just typed it. I have proof but definitely not enough. Idk. And honestly 1753 words isn’t even all the details. I’m tired of this. I wish she didn’t fuck my status up to control me. I wish she’d leave me alone.

Every time I tell him an issue I have he gets defensive. I know it’s a part of his ADHD, but it makes me feel small and I can’t ever tell him anything without him crying or calling me aggressive.

Today he said no to having sex. That’s totally okay, and it’s his right, but something in me kind of snapped and I vented to him about how unwanted I felt by him. He doesn’t text first and I’m always an after thought. I always initiate the sex in the first place and he doesn’t even really contribute. I have to do all the work. When he’s done feeling good I have to ask him to reciprocate. He calls me the “man of the relationship.” Fucking embarrassing. I just asked him if he’s sure he’s not gay or something because he always says I’m the guy and it’s like… no I’m a fucking woman.

It’s like I have to initiate absolutely everything and then after he constantly rejects me and doesn’t try to do anything he’ll want to be cuddled. This pissed me off so I refused to cuddle today and he said I was punishing him and that I was in the wrong and it’s like??? It’s not even about the sex. If I don’t reach out he’ll go ghost for 20 hours unless I constantly nudge text him. Fuck. It hurts, but like in every other occurrence of pain he has caused me, he is the victim and I have to hug him and apologize a dozen times while he tells me that he feels numb and how he enjoys feeling numb and I’m just apologizing for my feelings. I’m so tired but I have NO ONE outside of him and my grandma so I have to put up with it.

I’ve been patient. In the past he has been racist towards me, thrown several micro aggressions my way, compared my skin tone to shit, called me names when I confront him about it. Ignore me for his video games. Gets mad if I don’t have the same opinion as him. All that time I’ve been patient. He has apologized but I have to force it out of him.

“Oh girl leave him!”

“Hey, he has ADHD so I’m gonna work on things. He just gets like this.”

I feel like an idiot. Every time I talk about this guy to someone else they’re always like “why are you still fucking with him?” And I can’t respond because I’m alone and I have no one and no friends and no support system so I have to put up with it to have some normalcy in my life.

I’m tired.

So long story short, I was abused in every possible way (physically, emotionally, financially, sexually) by my GC holder mother (she has had GC status since I was like 4/5 and brought me to the U.S. on a B2 when I was 6 and that’s when the abuse started) and she continues to be abusive by leaving my brother with me to care for him and refusing to start our adjustment of status and holding it over our heads. (It should’ve been completed 14 years ago because her father petitioned for all three of us but she only got herself a GC apparently?? Makes no sense but ok. I don’t know how the derivative thing works)

From the age of 15 I have made 2 police reports and 3-5 CPS reports were made against her, but closed despite my efforts to speak up. I have evidence of the abuse and neglect as well as a PTSD diagnosis from a therapist because of what I went through (I’m 19 now so currently it wouldn’t be neglect for me but she stopped caring for me at 17 and my grandma had to step in and my mother is still being an awful parent to my minor brother)

Anyway, I’m nearing 20 and I was wondering if my situation qualifies. I started gathering evidence and I need to do a FOIA to get my mother’s status and my own (my mother said I have an SSN here which makes no sense to me if I’m out of status but she’s a liar so maybe if I do FOIA I can see what the real situation is) but I just want to live my life and leave her terrible excuse of a house that has no running water.

Sorry. Anyhow, does it qualify? I know I should talk to a lawyer (I will on Monday) but I wanted to ask. Also, my grandma was wondering if I did file VAWA and my mother came around at the last minute and petitioned, would both be cancelled or affected somehow? Since my mom is the abuser will she be prevented from filing for me if I file VAWA? (I doubt she will help me. I’ve been waiting 4 years).

So I went to my college campus and fell asleep in the dorm basement. My ID card doesn’t work with the elevator for some reason, so I called public safety and let them know I’d need to retrieve my things. Obviously, I couldn’t stay there, so I got my things and left. Now, I don’t drive. I take the bus. However, the bus I need to get home took off as soon as I woke up at midnight and it was the last one. I’m currently on another route that will take me to a hospital, but there are no other buses running until 2-4. What should I do?

I’m 19F and I’m a little nervous walking in the dark. I didn’t want to be home today because of some issues in the house so I went to campus to escape and have a shower and wash some clothes, which I now regret. Idk.

So background: Boyfriend and I are 19. Boyfriend is a teacher aid and is around kids with special needs.

He has this thing where he will talk about their skin being soft (he joked about making a lampshade from their skin with his family which was awkward), and once after we were done being intimate he told me I was soft like his students and that they have very soft skin. Okay. Weird, but maybe that’s me overreacting.

He also refers to them as his “best friends” and will say things like “Guess what me and my best friend named [student name] did?” And I’ll be like “Oh you never told me about that friend. Who is he?” And then he’ll explain that it’s his student so I’m like “hey that’s not your friend. You are someone that looks after and helps them.”

What makes me the most uncomfortable about it though is the random pictures of the kids in his phone. Today he sent me a picture of a student eating a cinnamon roll and he takes a bunch of pictures of them from behind doing random stuff or on the playground. I told him that that wasn’t okay because he didn’t have consent and he said “oh the kid agreed to this picture” and I said “that kid is 5. You need the consent of the parents.” So, I hang up for a bit politely without hinting at anything and talk to my grandma about it and she was creeped out too. Eventually I call him back and confront him and told him that the ways he acts can be taken and perceived differently than he intends especially since he is a male teacher aid. I explained that it’s nice that he enjoys being around the kids, but he has to maintain a level of professionalism around them because it is a job.

Then he gets defensive and says “well actually we take pictures to send to the parents to show their behavior so you said all that for nothing” and then I ask him about the playground picture he took that looked like it was taken secretly. He got silent and said that one he just took just to take and not for the parents and I told him that doing things like that isn’t okay because those parents entrust their vulnerable kids to him. Then I asked how would he feel if he had kids and a male teacher aid was taking secret pictures just for himself all the time. He got upset and went back to his games and hung up.

AIO? I feel very icky right now because I was taken advantage of by adults growing up and the thought of him taking those pictures and making those remarks makes me uncomfortable. Am I overreacting???

I’ve been looking through this sub and the other sub, but I can’t find anything so I need advice. I want to crochet a small pillow with the grid method (idk the actual name. I just know you convert a picture to grid format), but figuring that out is a bit hard since I’m a beginner and have only crocheted basic things such as fingerless gloves.

So, I’m 19 and my mother is a green card holder. She stopped caring for me at 17, dumped my minor brother (currently 17) on me, and left to another state. My brother and I are out of status because she failed to file for our documents when her American father (at the time GC holder) petitioned for her and added us as derivatives.

I’m assuming since she got her GC the case is closed and she can’t use that one again (correct me if wrong), so she has to file a new petition. My grandma has tried so hard to advocate for us and it took a great deal to get my mom to speak to a lawyer, but we did and they said the best path is for her to naturalize and then adjust my brother and I’s status before we both turn 21 so we don’t have to leave the US and put our lives on pause.

Now, we have been discussing this since I graduated high school. I was 17 then. By the grace of God, I somehow managed to finish 2 years of college without FAFSA assistance. However, I turn 21 in 2027 and my mother has not started the process. She has made every excuse under the sun for why she can’t come up with $700 (but she can for getaways) to naturalize and start the process. She is forcing my grandma to pay for every single step and at this point I think it’s intentional because in the past she has held my status over my head when I reported her to the police and CPS for her abuse towards my brother and I.

The house my brother and I reside in has no running water or heat. We were cold all winter and then the pipes burst because of the cold, so I had to call the city to shut off the water or the house would flood. My mom has not resolved the issue and is still partying away in another state.

All that to say, with all this information, do you think I’d have a strong enough case and the chance to get approved for VAWA? I have some evidence as well as a CPTSD and depression/anxiety diagnosis. I’m going to wait until a few months before 21 to give her a chance to redeem herself and be a parent, but I have to put my future first even if it means speaking out against her again.

I’m fearful she’s going to screw me over, so I came here to ask for advice. I hope this is appropriate for this subreddit.

So I came down with something on Saturday evening/Sunday morning and my mucus is yellow, I’m constantly sneezing and blowing my nose, and I can’t smell nor taste. It’s the last day of class so I thought I should tough it out like my grandma told me to, but it’s embarrassing how often I’m blowing my nose, plus there’s the risk of me getting others sick, so I thought it was best to leave.

The professor didn’t mind, but whenever I leave early because of my chronic pain or sickness she has the slightest look of disapproval and I’m wondering if it’s a bad thing to leave?