u/AgnosticAbe

In 03/2024 I was hit by a boat while fishing on my kayak and suffered a complete transection of my spine at T9. Prior to that I was a CPL, Dual engine 2 TRs, 437h TT, 22 hours in a Cessna Citation M2 jet(all SOE) and 223(25 SOE) hours in a SF50 jet and the remainder minus 3 in a Cirrus SR22 piston. I started flying in 2020 when I was 17, I am now 23. My injury happened when I was 21.

I’m what they call ASIA-A which means the spinal cord injury is “complete”, will never “heal” and unfortunately will never walk again so I’ll be in wheelchair for the rest of my life. That being said my love and passion for aviation did not die with my legs/hips and my FAA medical. And Google says it possible to become a controller in my position but what do you think? Everything above my belly button works, I can type, I can push myself, I have normal cognitive function. 2020 uncorrected vision. All other injuries from the incident healed as well as they could’ve.

I’m in the Boston area. And I’m looking to reconnect with aviation. I’ve been up a couple times right seat post injury and class 1 is off limits, so flying is out.

The most aggravating part of this case is she has a nicer wheelchair than I do. I’m a paraplegic who didn’t murder their 3 children and jump out a window. How she’s allowed to have a TiLite chair is beyond me. She has a TiLite TR/A which is a fully titanium chair. Meanwhile I have to have a TiLite Z, which is an aluminum chair, because I’m not rich and insurance doesn’t like to cover custom chairs. My chair was 2500 which for me, 20 years old the time of my injury was a significant amount of money for me and my family. I could get a nicer chair now but I don’t see the need and mine works well but still it’s the message that a accused murderer who’s accused of doing one of the worst crimes imaginable has a luxury item.

Easily a 10k chair built out after the options. Who paid for that? Did Massachusetts taxpayers really pay for it? If so that’s beyond humiliation ritual because I know damn sure her insurance didn’t pay for it. She’s in jail I assume awaiting a murder trial I don’t understand why she has a luxury wheelchair and not the basic bare bones hospital wheelchair.

Today, I(22m) moved, changed jobs, started my own business.4 months ago. Stressed about all of it, I went to the doc. The doc gave me 60 Ambien pills.

Fast forward to last night, a customer of my business didn’t pay me, huge invoice 1,400. I’m pissed, scared, whatever, so I try to go to sleep but can’t. Wired. Took an Ambien. 1 hour later. Wired. Checked to see if my customer read my text, nothing. I mini lost my mind I started cussing but I was still me. But out of frustration I hammer down the rest of the Ambien pills.

I felt fine and it felt like my brain was finally stating to slow down. Then I started seeing crazy visions and hallucinations. Like I had been driving 50 hours straight. The next thing I know I’m faced down with a gun in my hand and what looked to be thrown off the lawnmower. My mom’s ring app was going off the entire time. She didn’t recognize me, but she being a doctor thought that someone killed themselves I’m the driveway and lo and behold it’s me. She asked why I had a gun and I said “too see if it works, a pot; a pan or a tree” and I started laughing apparently. She was really freaked out and called 911 thinking I’ve gone completely crazy with no odd mental health issues.

The police came(Massachusetts US) and the first thing the officer says is “are you ok” and I responded with “ridiculously” and I initially declined going to the hospital cop said that you’ll die if you don’t. I go the hospital it was terrrible. They have me drunk this sludge and I’m actually kinda awake at this time but puking and puking it up so much so they had to stick a tube down my throat. That’s the last thing I remember.

I wake up again and there’s a tube in my throat and I immediately start screaming, I can’t really talk, trying to pull it out, and I guess had to be restrained. I woke up again to where we are now feeling very awfully with crazy crazy dreams but the dreams were actually reality. The further I came to, they won’t let me go home until I prove to them that I didn’t try and unalive. Some special hold idk.

As more time passes the more shame I feel for the actions I’ve done. I’m sure the medical bills alone will probably run me out of business. Fwiw the gun was empty when I took it, I remember zero of the events past the “seeing weird shapes”

Tl;Dr got mad and took too many Ambien. Went outside with a gun and a lawnmower. Almost died

Recently got laid off and moved cross country, been really stressed out looking for work. So I still have health insurance so I went to the doc to establish myself as a new patient but also said I was taking 40mg of melatonin trying to sleep and not sleeping until 7am and waking up at 3pm

Doc said “hmm… ok” and prescribed me 25 ambien 10mg. Was given no other advice on how to fall asleep

I’ve heard all kinds of horror stories that it makes you hallucinate.

Wondering what to expect?