u/Alternative-Ease9674

Hi. I am fighting here. I am 54, I do not take any hormones or medication. I want to make tests of hormone but fighting with not enough money/no free doctors or free tests so basically broke now. And I cannot find any gyn who knows shit about menopause treating (post communist Europe country). Also there is no possibility to get any GLP medications on refund. And I am dreading loneliness because it seems only my weight is keeping me from getting any partner. I have no family, children and I am so lonely. And nope nothing helps. I have pets. I am OK being with myself , I work on myself, but the longer it takes it is more deprivating. And this is my background only.

Question. I started keto two months ago. The first month I lost 2 kg. Eating extremely clean, 1200 kal. No cheating, having less than 20 g carbs daily. Water still here. I'm weighted now I still weigh the same as a month ago. But I had a very stressful life and I probably ate too many desserts. Nothing major but greek yoghurt about 200g daily with dollop of heavy cream and sweetener added to my daily 1200 kal. But it is maybe because of sweeteners as they have carbs in them

I was 0,6 keto on month 1st, 0,4 on the month second.

I am 158 cm, 101,3 kg now. 103,3 when I started. I drink a lot, MCT coffee, rooibos tea and a lot of water with electrolytes, pee a lot. Having trouble sleeping probably because of menopause and weak. I want to start excersising but I am losing all motivation.

I have also severe problem with carbs like grain, bread, pasta all four like. I have diarrhea after (I had like that for years), also anemia even if I eat a lot of meat. Except of those my blood results are normal.

Can you guys help me in any way or even only give any hope?

Edit: It seems I sound harsh for you and not nice. I am not. I am not an english speaker and something seems to be missing in translation 😭

Edit2: I decided to withdraw from searching for the partner altogether. I have no chance anyway. Men my age have too much to choose and it seems I am nobody's choice or type. So I will take care of me now. And work on not wanting anyone in my life. Thank you for this lesson.

I am 54F and I ended up dating apps totally after not having any luck on them for 1,5 years being there. I am pretty, have a plethora of hobbies, active (really), smart and super kind and nice. Also no menopausal problems, zen, calm. No children, no dramas. The only fault is my weight, 93 kg now. But really I am fit, healthy and really can do many physical things that surprise leaner ppl. Also my weight is quite nicely distributed. I write it to show that I have no major issues. I am on a diet but because of age this is a long and patient road.

Point is I am invisible in the wild. What can I do to be more attractive for potential partner?

I quit OLD because of no matches, or too young or not good matches. Not a single man my age was interested in me. I mean you can tell I should maybe lower starndards. But I will not match with some country guy, when I work at University. Or someone completely destroyed by life , adictions, sedentary and if totally ugly. I even tried twice and the intellect barriers and view for life differences were collosal. I am still young at heart and very lively.

Edit: I am not above anyone. . But as I mentioned here I did try and it needs to be intellectual match here and with good hygiene and being bit active I am willing to overlook anything else. I do not care about height, status, job, wealth...

Any ideas? I have to mention I live in Europe and male here seems to be very focused on younger women overally. I saw them chasing them. Also we have not same places where we can meet age appropriate men as on USA. So you may treat this as a vent.

Where to find guys my age in the wild?

..

I am so sad. I should leave my ex when I was on my 30s. But who knew....

EDIT. OK thank you. We can stop this topic. I know. I am too fat. No matter pretty and not much fat around the waist. No matter nice. I now see how superficial all ppl are. And probably would accept toxic woman if slim. Am I right? I will remember when I lost weight.

I started keto on about 20th of June this year and I need some help here. Nice to meet you all BTW.

I am 53 yo female, menopausal, 158 height, 103,1 starting weight, on weight day on 18th of July I weighed 101,7 kg. No movement in the size of the body.

I weighed myself today on the 25th of July, as the glucometer arrived with keto strips.

And it seems I have 0,6 of this measurement.

Weight 101,3 with no significant movement in measurements again. Maybe 1 cm everywhere except for the waist.

So there is small movement. But I am really disappointed. It seems to be so slow and I still have all this water in me. And I really eat clean and starving almost.

Initially I ate 1400 kkcal, last week 1200 kcal and started to be hungry. I move moderately, lot of walking and chores like really a lot (chinchillas with diarrhea and cleaning hoarder flat situation now) no time for excersises. And keeping macro strict.

How I eat. Bulletproof coffee in the morning. Small amount of mixed greens with cucumbers salad with decent amount of protein and tablespoon of fat, less fat if meat is fatty or fish in it. Then supper,decent amount of protein with fat and 3 very small cucumbers. Anemia is my only sickness and I ma taking B12 shots. Supplemmenting vit C and other B, omega and folic acid. I drink only rooibos and then only water with special keto electrolytes powder.

Can I improve somehow, or just prepare for 3 years minimum battle?

I started keto on about 20th of June this year and I need some help here. Nice to meet you all BTW.

I am 53 yo female, menopausal, 158 height, 103,1 starting weight, on weight day on 18th of July I weighed 101,7 kg. No movement in the size of the body.

I weighed myself today on the 25th of July, as the glucometer arrived with keto strips.

And it seems I have 0,6 of this measurement.

Weight 101,3 with no significant movement in measurements again. Maybe 1 cm everywhere except for the waist.

So there is small movement. But I am really disappointed. It seems to be so slow and I still have all this water in me. And I really eat clean and starving almost.

Initially I ate 1400 kcal, last week 1200 kcal and started to be hungry. I move moderately, lot of walking and chores like really a lot (chinchillas with diarrhea and cleaning hoarder flat situation now) no time for excersises. And keeping macro strict.

How I eat. Bulletproof coffee in the morning. Small amount of mixed greens with cucumbers salad with decent amount of protein and tablespoon of fat, less fat if meat is fatty or fish in it. Then supper,decent amount of protein with fat and 3 very small cucumbers. Anemia is my only sickness and I am taking B12 shots. Supplementing vit C and other B, omega and folic acid. I drink only rooibos and then only water with special keto electrolytes powder.

Can I improve somehow, or just prepare for 3 years minimum battle?

I started keto on about 20th of June this year and I posted a rather teary post about how I did not lose almost nothing after weighting myself on the 18th of July, so almost a month on keto. I lost only 1,5 kg.

I am 53 yo female, menopausal, 158 height, 103,1 starting weight, on weight day on 18th of July I weighed 101,7 kg. No movement in the size of the body.

I weighed myself today on the 25th of July, as the glucometer arrived with keto strips.

And it seems I have 0,6 of this measurement.

Weight 101,3 with no significant movement in measurements again. Maybe 1 cm everywhere except for the waist.

So there is small movement. But I am really disappointed. It seems to be so slow and I still have all this water in me. And I really eat clean and starving almost.

Initially I ate 1400 kkcal, lastvweek 1200 kcal abd started to be hungry. I move moderately, lot of walking and chores like really a lot (chinchillas with diarrhea and cleaning hoarder flat situation now) no time for excersises. And keeping macro strict.

Now I eat. Bulletproof coffee in the morning. Small amount of mixed greens with cucumbers salad with decent amount of protein and tablespoon of fat, less fat if meat is fatty or fish in it. Then supper,decent amount of protein with fat and 3 very small cucumbers. Anemia is my only sickness and I ma taking B12 shots. Supplemmenting vit C and other B, omega and folic acid. I drink only rooibos and then only water with special keto electrolytes powder.

Can I improve somehow, or just prepare for 3 years minimum battle?

I just weighed myself after one month of strict keto. Keeping carbs below 20 for sure, no cheat days or meals, 1400 kcal. And only 1 kg less after a month. I am 158 cm, and started with 103,1 weight and now I weigh 101,7 kg. What can I do?

I really work on myself a lot, many ways, trying to manifest and all. But I still feel the urge to self pity and to write everywhere how lonely I am and how nobody loves me and wants me. That I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life. I cannot stop somehow. I want to change this once and for all. Please I will be grateful for any help. Of course I stay lonely. Probably because of this I repel any interest in real life and in dating apps.

RANT: I just wanted to check out some functionality on the app I was using. And I recreated my profile. Got hundreds of matches. 3 first guys I matched offended me in the first seconds. I was off because it was a waste of time. So many sex only match (and I was specific about searching for a serious relationship on my profile) , pen pals forever, married guys, i never had any single date. I tried 4 apps. Tinder, Boo, Facebook Dates, Lovely. Everywhere the same shit. This time the first one matched and said he is so horny and he wants to meet for sex, not accepting no for an answer and then calling me old stupid whore. Second one, when I explained I don't like talking much I and I prefer to meet up asap. For a coffee, nothing serious, first meet. Told me I am a penis hunter and he thinks I want only sex. I am WTF, dude. And the last one asked if I would like to suck penises in the first sentence. I deleted the app and I will never go back. But what is going on. I see there is a complete deterioration going on there... I will find someone in the wild now or be alone. I am just fed up.

Edit. I am in Europe, so there are only a few apps and they do not have the pools of the same ppl like in the US I suppose.

Edit 2 : I do not look for pen pals. I live in Europe.

Edit 3: I spent 8 months on dating apps. Without any successes and meeting only such men. Some of them revealed quickly some of them later. Read text with understanding ppl, this is not my first rodeo and first day on apps! This is the final straw. FFS!

Imagine me. He left me on read over a month ago. I burned bridges in the meantime because I am so pissed off now, I am not containing myself. He hated it if I deleted messages - so here we are - all left, and he didn't even read it lol.

I was so stupid, it seems. But he really showed me so much love I had never seen before. I know him from work; he ran away twice, always came back, and he is single, I'm too. Damn...

I know he thinks about me because he literally stopped to differentiate reality from fantasies about me. Also, he did tell me that if he could, he would be my bodyguard, my servant, my guinea pig (I am like WTF - it was his voice message before he disappeared again). In the meantime, he developed depression, tried to commit suicide and went to jail, wow. I am not sure, but I guess he is committed to sth. I know he is single and has no kids, but his family is kinda cult-like crazy.

I tried earlier to get him back for more than a year!!!! Some randoms from the past called me and contacted me, just not him - the most important guy in my life, love of my life. I really don't know what to do. Any ideas? I think I should move on, and I am doing it but - oh, this is not easy. Especially since I have insane trouble getting any dates. I have many suitors, but dating looks like blocked. I am sorry, I think I need some outside opinion on this issue. Because I start to think I am getting crazy here.

I need to talk about this common opinion and what I get everywhere, that when you start healing and start to love yourself, something happens and you magnetize healthy connection. It seems to be a lie. I went on a spiritual and healing journey almost 2 years ago and I did tremendous work. I helped myself so much I am really a different person. And this ppl recognize. I even look different. They say much better and glowing up. I love myself so much, I am doing my things and I spoil myself. I healed so much that nothing triggers me anymore. I am OK with my past. I do not want to get into details. But work is almost completely done. For some time it was coming back. I had phases of healing and repetitions of the topic. And nope. I am still lonely. I noticed my healing made me only more isolated and even more invisible. Maybe I didn't do something? Maybe I am too old and still too fat to be noticed? BTW I am taking care of this too but this is the hardest part. As menopause, hormonal stuff and everything is making this almost impossible . At the same time I am only overweight, I am healthy and fit. I am OK with everything. I do not even think about this most of the time. I am genuinely happy. And have a lot of things to do. I am busy with my projects. I am not thinking about it all the time but realization hit me yesterday. For me all this work on yourself. Loving yourself and someone perfect will happen is a lie. Nobody happened. Crickets. Nobody is interested in me. And I go out a lot. I know a lot of ppl. And I know work is never done. But well some movement maybe should be visible now?

EDIT: Thank you for all your answers. I think I get it now much better. I thought it was a partly humorous post but it turned out with many important lessons for me. Thank you all ❤️

Like in the title. I mean. I've had a hard life but also made some mistakes. Probably like everyone. But somehow they were more poignant in my case and I have no point in my life I can be proud of or just to have as a thing I want to live for. I basically want objectively and after thorough consideration, not depression or bad mood, I just want to restart. End this life and maybe start again.

I am 53 F. I live in Central Europe. And I will try not to write my whole life here, but I am such a failure. I was the only child of non-responsible and toxic parents. My father was a real monster which damaged my mom and tried with me, which resulted in decades long depression. To the point that after the divorce she had health support and alimony paid by him. And I had to take care of her for the rest of my life. Never lived with any of my BFs. I had no support during my youth and my studies and my whole life. I also started my life in a post communist country, when life was harsh and you couldn't' make money and career like in a normal country. Anyway many ppl did.

I have not had mature BFs with which I stayed too long. And never married and didn't have any children. And then after 28 years together he just found new younger love. I stayed completely alone. No family, no SP, no children no friends as they stayed with him.

My career was not successful again. My first job was good but the market was not ready, so after the third company I worked for bankrupted because of not paying customers, I changed jobs, created a dream business and failed because of AI. And I was left with heavy debts which I will probably pay for the rest of my life. Next job got miraculously, fourth too. It is stable and safe but pays not enough to have something more than surviving. Miraculously because it is a miracle to get any job at my age in my country

So in summary. I didn't achieve any normal life stages. I am totally lonely, I have no career and money. And it is too late for anything.

How can I be OK with this? How to have the will for life. Why should I live? I cannot find any joy in it. I mean I meditate and I try to fix my traumas. I healed depression. I am happy with small things and I know how to enjoy them. I have a lot of hobbies and I am always busy. I love my pets. But I wanted to have a completely different life. I dreamt about family, being loved, travels... How to cope. Anybody?..

I am sorry if it's too long and no AI.

EDIT: Thank you all for taking your time for me. For reading and answering. I mean this is the main problem when you are alone. You cannot get another perspective. And this is priceless. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.