u/Antique_Dish1372

(I am 16 fem) been struggling with eating disorder since 14 not been diagnosed with an anorexia but I need help because it feels like I’m dying and I think I’m having re-feeding syndrome

I am writing this from the bathroom floor because I feel like I’m going to vomit,

I’m not a native speaker and has dyslexia so I tried to make it as clear as possible

A week ago I decided I wanted to recover and started eating some spaghetti even though I felt full in my stomach I still felt hungry mental so began binge eating then I was suddenly bloated not normal bloated like hurting

after a couple of hours I began having acid reflux like my breath taste like death itself

and this is a bit embarrassing but farting all the time

this has been going on for entire week

I don’t want to eat because it makes me bloated not because of appearance anymore because it makes me sick

so I have been starving then binging became sick again for many days repeat

I tried talking to my doctor since I began vomiting

He made me weigh myself

then told me I am normal weight and I should not go down more

And eat schedule meals

that’s it that’s all he did

ever since I became a teenager, I feel like my doctor stop taking me seriously and I have tried to tell my mom we should change but since it’s her doctor and apparently has “great humour” she just said that he knows best since he’s the doctor but I feel like he doesn’t care

I was going to talk to a ed doctor but they were sick and then it just got cancelled

I have stopped going to school because the acid reflex makes me feel disgusting and that I don’t have hygiene and that everyone else can smell my disgusting breath

And because don’t have energy to shower and wash my hair since each time I stand up it feels like I’m going to explode

please tell me I’m not alone and what I should be eating since I have discovered some meals, make it worse like spicy food and yoghurt seems to have the least effect

Energy drinks especially white monster makes me get the worst acid reflex

I have had food sensitive stomach since I was young like a toddler

hi I am (16 fem) maybe I’m considered a child stil but it feels like my brain is still stuck at 9-12 years old and how much I didn’t want to live at that time I know it sounds weird that 9-12 year old can be suicidal I think it was a mixed of bullying and of adults not listening and telling me it would just get worse and that I could not understand pain since I was a kid

it all started with my dad wanted to move to the countryside at 8 year old and renting out our home since he going to sell his childhood home,

When I came back at 9 years old everything was different but also the same new classes and I end up being with none of my friends

apparently none of the other classmates wanted to talk to me and I started thinking something was wrong with me I was always a quiet kid But it made me extremely quiet and

all I would think about is what is wrong with me I began having social anxiety at 10 years old

The other kids would bully me you know all that We are best friends right? or my friend like you bullshit? and “would accidentally throw things on me“

all I would do in class would being terrified of doing something considered weird

and daydreaming about being somewhere else

at home I didn’t get the proper support since I was a glass child with more extreme disabled brother that would beat me up

because of his anger issues and I would get blamed since I was the normal one and I should have known that what I did would trigger since he has disabilities

growing up it was never what I needed support it was always how much better I was than my brother when he started acting out

I wasn’t normal either like I had dyslexia and ADHD struggled a lot at school but I was the perfect child who never acts out so I didn’t get the support

at 11 I began “sh“ because of the loneliness I generally have no friends outside of Roblox and I was starting to develop through puberty and boys my age were sexualising me because of it since they knew I wouldn’t tell anybody

at 12 I tried alcohol fro my parents basement since I kept seeing adult using it to cope in movies I swear it was the happiest day of my 12 year old life I think I was just tipsy but I would all of a sudden have no social anxiety not worrying about the next school day

but since my parents would probably realise if I continue drinking I just started daydreaming and dreaming coping like instead of staying awake I would take melatonin and sleep.

Other things I would cope with was horror back then I did not know why I was drawn to it but I think it’s because it’s scary, but in a way you can turn it off instead of the fear of going to school and not being able to talk

I do have friends now but keep having nightmare about being 9-12 easily stressed over nothing and somehow no matter how good my friends are I feel like they hate me since I keep looking for expression to tell if someone dislikes me

I get very easily socially drained and sometimes I wonder if the teacher had made me change class or school I wouldn’t be struggling this socially

I wish adults would take my struggles at that age because I was so much online isolating myself that I somehow forgot my own native language and would only talk in English even now I stutter and forget words

(I am 16 fem) starting to hate my adoptive parents I feel like they did not support me enough since my not brother severe disability even though I have adhd and dyslexia I did not get proper support like I couldn’t read until 10 since they were busy,

my brother used to beat me throw me against the table because of anger issues like me doing something wrong my parents would always blame me even though I was 6-12 since I was the normal one you did not help that he had a iPad if I disturbed him he will get angry issues and beat me or his iPad

my adoptive mom would always talk about issues at work adult conversation at a very early age when I was ten she told me I was too old to celebrate birthday I was already really isolated with the other kids

because I never got told how to defend myself I would get bullied at school and not defend myself some of the boys would sexually harassed me and it made me have trust issues with boys

I am (16fem) I was adopted at one years old and just gotten the documentation and a lot seems relatable avoiding eye contact not liking physical touch being really quiet apparently I would sit staring into nowhere

my biological mother would not take care of me like I couldn’t move from not develop muscle at 1 year like normal infant can maybe crawl or walk I need pillows to sit up

it didn’t help that my adopted brother is also severe disabled like brain injury on the size of a grape in his brain and I grew up to be glass child and if he got mad he would beat me up and I got kinda blame

since I was normal and he was not I did not get enough support, even though I had ADHD and dyslexia

sometimes I feel hate towards my adopted parents because of this especially since they allowed him to play violent video games I know that normal children don’t get affected but he would hold my head at gunshot with his Nerf gun and if I disturbed him he would sometimes kick me in the table before my abducted parents would stop him

just started at a new school at 16 here in Norway so sorry for bad English

finally started vgs basically high school but you can choose what you want careers like hairstylist which is really great finally found by people because it’s mostly girls that are creative in my class there is this girl who also ADHD but definitely the hyperactive one because

she don’t understand what being quiet means and having low energy she wants me to hang out all the time and gets confused that I’m acting different after a week of going to school she got mad at me for not wanting to hang out and now ask me in class while I was being zone out asking why I was act this way I told her I was tired and she said still you doesn’t need to act rude

btw I hadn’t even looked at her or talk to her we only know each other for two weeks if you’re asking me I was not being rude

she also gets mad at every micro expression asking me what is wrong and that I could stop being rude so now

having a micro sad episode from having my period trying to quit nicotine having a new ADHD medication being at school for two weeks being far behind thinking about school picture that is tomorrow surviving on energy drinks

and need advice to make her either go away or understand because she likes real social awareness or understanding that some people can have a bad day she is nice, but this is pissing me so often because if I smile fake she comments and if I have my naturally resting face again I’m being mean