u/Apart_Sea_3326

So I’ve been seeing my therapist for about 2 years now. She’s a newer therapist and practices primarily from a psychodynamic lens. I’m very attached to her and our relationship has had many ups and downs. I had some problems with sending her emails outside of session, but I had mostly corrected that.

Earlier this week she got frustrated with me and said she has to “work so much harder on me” than with her other clients. She kept comparing me to her other clients which hurt my feelings. She also referred to me as “exhausting”. She’s going on vacation next week and I left the session feeling dis regulated.

I was feeling very hurt and typed up a not-so-nice email. Most of my previous outside of session contact had been late at night when drunk, so instead of sending the email in the moment I waited until the morning. I saw that as a sign of growth for myself. Here’s the email (not my finest moment, but I really needed to express my pain): “You don’t have to see me anymore if you don’t want to. I’m sorry that talking to me is so exhausting and that I seem ungrateful. You are very good to me and I hate to make your job harder. I didn’t realize that you still think I’m so hard to work with. You can forget about me and focus on y

So I’ve been seeing my therapist for about 2 years now. She’s a newer therapist and practices primarily from a psychodynamic lens. I’m very attached to her and our relationship has had many ups and downs. I had some problems with sending her emails outside of session, but I had mostly corrected that.

Earlier this week she got frustrated with me and said she has to “work so much harder on me” than with her other clients. She kept comparing me to her other clients which hurt my feelings. She also referred to me as “exhausting”. She’s going on vacation next week and I left the session feeling dis regulated.

I was feeling very hurt and typed up a not-so-nice email. Most of my previous outside of session contact had been late at night when drunk, so instead of sending the email in the moment I waited until the morning. I saw that as a sign of growth for myself. Here’s the email (not my finest moment, but I really needed to express my pain): “You don’t have to see me anymore if you don’t want to. I’m sorry that talking to me is so exhausting and that I seem ungrateful. You are very good to me and I hate to make your job harder. I didn’t realize that you still think I’m so hard to work with. You can forget about me and focus on your perfect wonderful delightful other clients who clearly do therapy so much better than me. I know I will never be your favorite (as much as that kills me) so I’m gonna stop trying to be, hence this message. Sorry for emailing this, I know it’s not something you can respond to outside of session. I’m sober rn btw.”

She responded and asked if I could come in today for a session. When I arrived she was so incredibly cold and immediately started almost yelling at me. She said I was threatening, manipulating and controlling her. She said I made her feel unsafe and she thought I wanted to “make her pay” for her caring about her friends and family. For reference, I have NEVER been aggressive or even confrontational/dissenting towards her until this email. I’m also a very short and small 21yoF so her claiming to be scared of me is almost laughable. Anyways, I sobbed the entire session (I almost never cry) and tried to explain myself but she was so distant and cold. I still care so much about her but idk how to continue this relationship. She’s genuinely the only significant problem I have in my life rn.