u/Arsenalg0d

I (18f) just got out of a relationship with my now ex bf (19m) like 2 days ago

Something that's really haunting me is that I think he might have had ED (?) if that's even possible at 19... I'm really confused and kinda scared to tell anyone irl but basically, he had a really hard time finishing during sex. It kind of ebbed and flowed, sometimes he'd be able to, and sometimes it'd be weeks and he wouldn't.

He did this thing a lot where he'd pull out mid sex and just start jerking off :(

And it really impacted my self esteem but it wasn't death grip or anything like that! He never even jerked off according to him.

But he also got soft a lot during sex, too. Obviously this made it very hard for me to enjoy and I never even came close to finishing once lol

I (18f) broke up with my LDR boyfriend (19m) of 8 months, a few days ago.

I spent the summer with him and got to see who he really is.

Ironically, in the end, it wasn't the distance that was the problem, like I always thought. it was him. He goes away for school but comes home for the summer; I realized that his lack of effort when he was away wasn't due to the distance.

Guys. This man stopped taking me out on dates. This man stopped getting me flowers. Promised to call me, to see me, etc, and then always found some kind of excuse. Gone on weekends with his friends, no idea what he's actually doing or where he is. When I DID get to see him, he couldn't even be assed to take a shower before, or brush his teeth, or clean his disgusting apartment.

Any time I asked for more effort, he got defensive and blamed me for needing too much. He is 19 and has NO job, just plays videogames all day; I asked if I could see him more often than once a week or every other week, and he called me all kinds of names; agreed in the end but I never got to see him more. And when that happened, I stayed for another 3 months.

When I told him I was breaking up with him, I asked what he wanted. He said "I want to marry you".

By the end of the conversation, he said that this breakup was my fault. That my anxiety ruined the relationship, and that I was selfish.

He thought I was crying because I was going to miss him.

I was crying because I spent so long with a bum :')

I guess I leave this sub now, guys... and not cause we closed the distance.

so I'm F18 and he's M19

our sex life was a little hard in the beginning because i had some trauma from an assault, and i had a hard time saying no— we had to take a break and I've been in therapy for a while and it's not something I struggle with anymore.

since then, our sex life has been good. he's not entirely vanilla, we both love anal, but something i've wanted to tell him for a while is that i really want him to be more dominant.

he's expressed a slight sort of desire for this kind of thing before, and i've seen it kind of slip out sometimes but i feel like it's something he pushes down a little? it's hard to describe he's only rough when things are really heat-of-the-moment. i love choking and it's something he does a lot more now seeing how much i love it, but i really want more.

i don't wanna push him to do stuff he doesn't want honestly, but i really enjoy pain. i want him to pull my hair, i want him to spank me, i want him to slap me and manhandle me and fuck me really hard, yk? but idk how to communicate this to him

i'm also someone with a very high sex drive and i'm just scared, idk exactly of what. i've sort of expressed these things to him but i've downplayed it, i mentioned that i like spanking for example and it's something he does during sex but i literally just fantasize about him tying me down or taking me over his knee until my ass is bruised

but ahh i dunno how to tell him please help :(

We went to high school together. I started liking him senior year and we started dating December 2025 (about 7 months ago)

He's my first everything. I never really liked anyone before him, not like this.

I go to college in our hometown, and he goes to school about 1000 miles away in another state. He flies home 1-2 times during the semester, and he's home for the entire summer. So everything seems good on paper.

The only problem is that we just have different expectations of a relationship. I know exactly what I want. I want frequent texting and calls, I want to see him often, and I'm able to make time for that.

During the schoolyear I worked 30 hours a week on top of classes 5 days a week and I still made time for him. He had class 2 days a week and I felt like I was always fighting for his attention.

We have this same problem this summer; I'm working 2 jobs, and he's taking one summer class. Yesterday I told him I want to see him twice a week instead of once a week— even just going for a walk, shopping, etc, since we live 20 minutes apart. He called me "possessive" and said that I needed to be grateful with what he gives me instead of always wanting more. He is busy with family and friends throughout the week.

(ETA: we're currently seeing eachother roughly once a week. we text every day, not too often, and don't call much)

I can't do 3 more years of this. He's only going to get more busy, and so am I, but that never meant that I didn't have time for him. But I can't leave him, because everything else in our relationship is so perfect. He's my best friend. We're compatible in every other way.

I'm in therapy, and I've made a ton of progress in other previous issues we've had in our relationship. My heart is so tired, though. Every time he leaves I become depressed. I have regular panic attacks that I never had before dating him. I love so deeply, so intensely, and he doesn't. When he goes away I tell him "I miss you" and he tells me he doesn't necessarily miss me back because he knows, logically, he's going to see him.

I sort of tried to break up with him yesterday, but he told me it wasn't an incompatibility but rather something I needed to work on within myself.

I don't know what to do.