u/Asexual-Dragon-Girl

I’ve played violin for 10 years. My first teacher ever sold me my first full size violin, and it was truly beautiful. I would pick it over any violin. Over one that was 10 grand. It wasn’t perfect. It was old. But it was mine, and it played with a tone that was mine.

My old teacher doesn’t take students anymore, and this violin was one of my only connections to him and my memories of learning music for the first time. He got that violin from his dad, who sold instruments.

It was old and gorgeous, and played with the memories of all that have played it before.

Three weeks ago I discovered a crack in the wood going from the f-hole to the chin rest. I sent it to a luthier, and it came back today. I picked it up, expecting to be able to be able to play it, only to hear the words:

“It can’t be fixed.”

I’m sitting in my car crying right now. I don’t know how to pick up another instrument. I feel like a piece of me has shattered with the wood of an instrument I’ll never be able to play again.

I don’t need advice, I just wanted to let this out to people who would understand. I’ve already been told to get over it several times by my parents.

UPDATE: For the last few hours I’ve been researching about pricing and I have come to the conclusion that I am not in the financial position to have my violin repaired. I simply do not have the money (curse being a student with a part time job and bills to pay). That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on her though. I’m gonna make the effort to save up so that one day, a luthier can fix it and I can play it once again. For now, I’m looking at finding a violin I can play in its place. If I’m lucky, I can find one that’s magic to me again. Thank you for all of the advice and kind words, I’ll send a picture of my new violin when I get it (hopefully soon).

Hi I’m Elfy! I’m a digital artist, lifeguard, musician, and too much else to name from Ontario Canada! I’m 17F, and it’s nice to meet you!

DMs are open to talk about nerdy crap, make new friends or anything!

I like:
- HTTYD
- sewing
- TDAC
- playing piano/violin
- biology
- creative writing
- cats
- Lego
- dnd

So much else.

Converse if you dare, it’s nice to meet you :3 😈

Hi, I (17F) have struggled with anorexia nervosa for the last 3 years. I’ve fought, I’ve cried and I’m not out of it yet.

I don’t know how to escape the starve then stuff mentality. I went almost a week without binging and then today when I got home I did it again. How do I escape this vicious cycle?

So today, before my shift started, I (17F) was waiting in the lobby of my pool watching tv on my iPad. I see two guys go into the women’s washroom, and I thought, “Weird? But not my problem,”

How wrong I was.

I then see them holding a person. On the floor. My brain stops for a minute, but then I run up to the two guys, and I ask them what’s going on. I shit you not, my heart stopped with their answer: “She’s having a seizure.”

I tell them to stay with her, and tell them to hold her head steady and to keep doing what they’re doing, and that I’m a lifeguard and that I’m going to get my coworkers.

I do that. Ems is called. The girl is okay.

Everyone tells me I did a good job. I’m one of the youngest on my staff, and everyone knows that it was my first major. I told them I was okay. I definitely wasn’t.

My hands have been shaking for the past four hours. Every Time my brain has a moment to think, i see that girl on the floor, her eyes rolling in her head. I had to teach swimming lessons to kids pretending that all was normal, while I was holding in tears.

My shift ended an hour ago. I just spent 45 minutes sitting on the floor of my shower, thinking. I feel numb. How do I stop feeling like this? How do I go back to normal after watching someone almost die? I know it’s a part of my job, but it’s the first time I’ve ever experienced anything remotely like this.

Advice is appreciated. Stay safe everyone <3