u/Available-Evening377

Tw for those with restrictive EDs. I know this isn’t a healthy mentality, trust me that I’m fighting against it, but I don’t want anyone else to be triggered by this. I’m going to try to keep it vague, but just a fair warning.

I’ve lived with a restrictive ED for several years now, and have had a few relapses but am pretty good overall about going to therapy and just putting in the work. I’ve been on a really good path for just over a year now (I hit a year fully recovered from my last relapse on June 13th). However, I don’t live at home, so this trigger was both unexpected and somewhat personal/upsetting. Due to a new baby in the family, I am home from my college apartment for a week to help out with baby cousins (I’m one of like 5 adult kids in the extended family, only one close to my parents/aunts). I came home two days ago, and am so close to relapsing I had to get an emergency appointment with my therapist for next Monday (soonest possible).

Here’s the part where I feel like a horrible person. The thing that’s triggering me is my own sister. And I literally can’t stop thinking about it, while I also feel like a total jerk. I haven’t seen her in a while, and while she was always bigger than me, that was because I was sick. However, I’m a lot better now both physically and mentally, and this gap between us somehow widened. And I am horribly triggered by it, but then feel horrible for feeling that way. My sister clearly has some issues with food that she needs to address on her own, but she is a lot larger than me, despite being the same height. This wouldn’t be an issue, but she also keeps bringing up her weight and saying these mean things about me and other girls, and while I won’t say it here, her weight is very triggering for me. I feel like a total jerk about it. I also know she switched to homeschool last year for bullying over her body, which makes me feel even worse.

Obviously I haven’t said anything, because she could be purple with green spots and I’d still love her, but it’s become so triggering for me to see her and especially to eat at the same table. She also clearly yo-yo diets, so she will be telling me about all these restrictions she is doing, just for me to watch her take it all back by 8pm, and she has not listened to me when I did tell her that I didn’t want to talk about dieting. She is clearly in some community (either online or irl) that has really pushed her to both see her weight as a great thing (which I don’t care, I’d rather she have that mentality than my own) while also seeing anyone smaller than her as someone who is actively working to make her seem large. I know these statements are contradictory, and tbh I think it’s part of why what she says triggers me so bad, as there isn’t just one message to tune out. It’s almost like if my ADHD and my ED shared the same part of my brain, just verbalized out loud.

I know she lives with my mom still (who was the initial cause of my own issues and who still invalidates my disorder) so I don’t blame her for having issues around food. My mom also is not very supportive of my recovery, and my sister is admittedly her favorite child, so she won’t help me here with asking my sister to cut it out. I don’t blame my sister, as I know for many years, I was similar just in a different way. However I can’t get rid of the things she says and how she looks and the fact that it’s triggering me and I feel like a gross human being for it. It’s like living with my ED and a bully in the same house. I don’t want to think these things, especially about her, but my brain won’t shut up. I know she’s only being mean to me to cope with her own issues, but it’s still so hard. I also worry that my therapist is going to judge me (hence why I first went to Reddit, where I am unknown) because I am triggered by her words, but also by her body, which she can’t help. I understand from a logical standpoint I’m a horrible person for this, I just honestly don’t know what to do, as my mind doesn’t care what I say and continues to think these things anyway.

Any advice or even just hugs are appreciated. I feel like such a jerk over this, and it’s very hard to feel bad about yourself morally while also holding back the gates of that stupid ED voice while living with it. I hate that this is my reality and I wish my brain would just be quiet and ignore her. Like I said, I just made it to a year and am really trying and giving my all to keep that streak going, so any advice is welcome.

I’m wondering if anyone else (especially anyone here who is LGBTQIA+) maybe relates to this feeling or had this experience. I was outed by a dorm roommate several years ago after my southern Baptist roommate found a Polaroid I had hid of my ex and I before we left for college. I truly believe the only reason my parents didn’t kick me out at the time and cut me out of their lives is because they know what I’m studying can make a good bit of money and they don’t trust my siblings to ensure they are cared for as they age.

I think it’s funny but also sad that I view my parents house very similar to how I view the Catholic Church. I spent so many years of my life praying to God to fix me that eventually it became habit, and now when I’m very stressed I still go to church and/or pray, even though I truly don’t know after all of this if there even is a God out there, and I know if there is that my prayers are not reaching him. Similarly, despite the anger and hostility I face at home, I just want to go back there. Even when I know I’ll be blamed, when I know the commentary they make, all I want to do is be home. In both settings I know I’m not welcome, but I honestly don’t know how to leave it. In a matter of days a few years ago, I’d lost my family, my faith, and almost all my friends. And yet (other than my friends) I just don’t know how to leave those spaces. It’s like some sort of fucked up security blanket where I’m trying to touch fire just to feel warm again. Has anyone else been here before? What do you do? I thought time would fix it, but after almost 4 years, as I’ve slowly started replacing “Catholic” with “somewhat spiritual” and have gone to pride events and have tried to embrace this all, I still just can’t bring myself to leave the scraps of home I still have. And I don’t know why.

After months of undergoing testing, I recently found out I’m allergic to most liquid soaps and detergents (everything from my shampoo to my dawn dish soap had to be tossed). I have shoulder length straight hair, it’s like combination I think, maybe oily? No major concerns with it other than I’ve noticed I’m not getting the same volume I used to with bar shampoo. I currently shop Etsy stores for them, but am open to a more professional line, it’s just so hard to find any. I’ve tried kitsch, I don’t like it and the smell makes me sick. Beyond that, I’ve stayed small. Prior to this, I was using (and loved) Oaui products. I don’t know if there is a solid hair care equivalent.

I’m hoping this is the right spot to go for some help. I’m not an Etsy seller (although I am a very frequent buyer). I’m helping one of my college student organizations do some fundraising this upcoming school year (I’m an officer) and I’m unsure how to start making the digital designs. I have a background in animation and have the physical art skills digitally, I just don’t know how to make art that translates well into physical items (think T-shirts, Stickers, etc.). Everything I make is either too detailed or looks drop-shipped, and we really need good merch this year as our department funding has been cut nearly in half. Any tips, advice, etc. that you’d be willing to offer?

I keep seeing folks with these little charms attached to the handle of their Owala, but when I search “Owala Charms” online, I find literally nothing!! I’d post an example, but I can’t even find that! Any ideas on what these are called, or where you find them? They are like little charms attached to a string that is looped on the handle.

Please read, because I didn’t know how to fit this into a title, so I just did my best with what I could.

I am a student with a neurological disorder, along with several other disabilities. Last semester, I was walking out of my TA’s office hours and had a seizure that resulted in a huge mess being made, as I knocked over a trash can on my way down and broke a mirror. My TA at the time was not from America and didn’t know what to do, so she ran and grabbed the nearest instructor from a few doors down. I come to a few minutes later, with her and this professor basically next to me, telling me to wait and that campus safety is sending someone.

At the time, I didn’t think much of it. I mean it was embarrassing, but I do lots of embarrassing things and have just faced that 99% of folks I interact with don’t see me twice. Anyways, fast forward to this summer semester (today) and I’m in a Gen Ed class being taught by the same professor. There are maybe 20 of us, so there isn’t a great opportunity to just like hide in the back. I had no idea when I signed up, I didn’t know who he was when I had the seizure and never grabbed his name. All this being said, should I drop the class? I know it’s not like my fault I had a seizure, but it’s such an embarrassing thing and I doubt he forgot about it, as it’s not like that’s exactly common.

To make a long story short, I live in a really shitty living situation that basically ensures I have to have laundry sheets or laundry pods due to space. I had a brand I really liked for a while (I had a pack of 300, so it lasted me almost 2 years) but the brand went bankrupt. I’m looking to order new sheets. The only other laundry detergent I’ve ever had success with is All free and clear. Other than that, I haven’t had any that don’t trigger severe issues with eczema and asthma. I’ve tried (and reacted to) Tide free and clear, normal tide, every kind of gain and gain scented home product, Ms. Myers, Zote, Glamwash, Kirkland free and clear, 9 elements, and oxiclean. I don’t know where I even start to look.

I am someone who always looses something when I travel. I’ve been diagnosed since I was 5, it’s always been a part of my ADHD that I can’t keep my stuff organized to save my life, and after over 20 years of travel, I finally figured out how to do this right. Color coordinate everything. Your suitcase, water bottle, cable/cord holder, backpack, tote bag, duffle, everything should be the same color for travel. And not black or white or maroon. A color that is more uncommon in setting like airports and cruises. Mine is teal. Literally buy everything in the same color. When you go to leave, you only have to look for that specific color to know if you left anything behind.

I’m asking for help here because there is nowhere local to me to get Owala’s, and I struggle to tell colors and filters when shopping online. I want a light blue Owala to travel with. All my luggage and bags are light blue, so I want the Owala to match so I don’t loose it. My current travel items are like a HEX #CEE0F4 (what Apple gave me as the color), with a few being a little darker. I don’t have a great way to paste the color in here sadly. Does anyone know which owalas are actually light blue? I saw the “out of the blue” color, but my e-reader is reading it as purple, so I’m unsure.

Has anyone tried the Owala drying rack? Is it worth the purchase? I’m in an apartment, and I struggle with getting all the pieces back in order (I have 4 roommates/ housemates) but idk if this is the solution or just junk.

Additionally, has anyone found a way to put a not super obvious AirTag on theirs? I am gonna be traveling this summer, I have ADHD and would love to put an AirTag or similar tracker on here, but I don’t want it to be super obvious or ruin the cute color!