u/AvailableBreakfast59

For a while now, someone has been rifling through everyone's cars in my neighborhood in the middle of the night. Some neighbors have ringcams but they're never close enough to identify the man 100%.

Last night, someone stole several peoples' Amazon packages right off their doorsteps, including our own.

One person's ringcam got two nearly perfect shots of the thief's face, finally. When compared to the multitude of distance videos and shots others have gotten over the past several months, we are 99.9% certain it is the same person. AND WE KNOW WHERE THE PERSON IS LIVING, OR AT LEAST STAYING. WE HAVE THE IDIOT'S ADDRESS 😬😉😈

I would like *all* the shitty you can possibly give me. (I just reread this post to edit - that's not what I meant to say, but I'm keeping the sentence because I find it very amusing 😅).

Police are on it. They went to his house today and clearly saw him briefly through a window it but he refused to answer the door and pretended he wasn't home. Turns out a *different* neighbor already has a court date set up against the dude for theft of *her* personal property 🧐🫠🫩

So. What are some of the funniest, most creative, most astonishingly annoying and ethically deranged advice you can come up with to help me get back at this dude? Obviously I won't be destroying property, confronting him, threatening him, or doing stuff that could potentially harm him (like mess with his brakes, for example - though it feels very tempting right about now 🧐).

I just want him to pay. Continuously. In ways in which my husband and I can look back on and laugh about for many, many, many, many, many years to come 😈😈😈😈😈

I have a 26-year-old, 24 year old, 8-year-old, and 6-year-old. After my 6-year-old was born, I realized I had severe diastasis recti. I assumed that spending months and years on PT exercises specifically targeting the problem would lead to a difference, but it has not.

I permanently appear as though I am 8 or 9 months pregnant.

I am extremely active, consistently exercise, eat healthily, and I'm at my ideal weight. It does not matter.

As a woman who has experienced decades of poor medical treatment and advice (I have diagnosed everything I have ever had despite relying on "experts" who consistently came up with wrong diagnoses), I am beyond outraged that the pain, discomfort, and even the "little" things like never being able to find clothing that fits me appropriately is written off as "cosmetic" and insurance will not cover appropriate surgical treatment. (And to give you an idea of what it has taken me to get to this point - I home birthed all my kids and even had our last kid at home unassisted to avoid all the covid nonsense in the hospitals. I don't just not work on myself and my body and rely on drugs and doctors to fix everything for me). So for me to get to the point where I actually feel like I *need* surgical repair is a pretty huge deal, lol!

I just want to know how people can manage to have perfectly healthy breasts and genitalia and whatnot surgically altered or removed and it is covered by insurance yet I - as a woman - have a legitimate medical need being denied as "cosmetic". (I'm not arguing for/against trans surgeries - I'm strictly referring to the physical function and health of the body, not the need for appropriate gender-affirming care).

I don't identify as a woman with diastasis recti! I know this sounds crazy, but I've even thought that if I somehow wrap this up into a gender identity issue, I could somehow get this much needed surgery covered and then just not get the other surgeries done. I am getting totally desperate here.

Does anyone else have any personal experience and/or advice for this situation? The physical issues are back pain, abdominal pain, and it also drastically interferes with what I do for work. Any support, advice, or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

My town is putting driving cams everywhere... I mean, like, EVERYWHERE. Our main highway/loop has had "under construction" signs on it for two years, insisting all drivers go 15 mph below the speed limit, even though absolutely no road work is being done. Every camera at every light is hyper focused to the point where even if you are at the tail end of a green turn signal as it turns, you get ticketed.

Since I drive around for most of the day due to various work/child commitments, I am gaining all sorts of ridiculous tickets. Most I could probably argue successfully but I don't have the time or resources to keep going to court and the system takes full advantage of this amongst myself and my community. People will often get overdue notices about not paying for tickets that they never even received in the mail, and you can't fight back because there is never anyone available to reach out to. Some of them are absolute bunk - there isn't even a shot included of the vehicle doing the thing it is getting ticketed for.

I'm a broke single mom and I am absolutely fed up. I am a good, safe driver. Never been in an accident. If I do speed, it might be 5 mi over the limit, max.

What is the best way for a plate to be just exposed enough that you won't get pulled over but not exposed enough to constantly get ticketed over stupid crap?

I find myself saying this constantly in that whiny, slurred, drunken manner in which it was repeatedly stated. And no one gets it. It's become a habit. A tic. And so sad for me that no one has an inkling of an idea of why I say it and say it the way I do 🧐😪😅

Have you found yourself picking up any particular statement or mannerism from Deadwood that you use all the time that no one else gets?

ETA: it was just pointed out to me in the comments that this was not said by that squirrely bastard who killed Wild bill. It was by dying Andy. For some reason - I guess since it's been years since I've watched that episode - I can just hear it and see it in my mind's eye as coming from Jack McCall 😅

We have a Burmese family directly next to us. Which is awesomely cool and amazing - when they first moved in with their five kids, they cut down this huge, ancient magnolia tree that provided half of our own yard with shade. I nearly died of a heart attack - I was SO pissed.

Then they proceeded to plant an entire garden of food and herbs, siphoning water with a hose directly from the little creek out back. I was like, wow. That's what I get for being a judgmental d*ck 😅

The parents don't speak much English - mom, barely any at all. So their kids shout the f word and stuff (they are all fluent in english and attend public school) in front of adults while their parents are standing right there. Ok. Whatever. I was going to use google translate - not to embarrass or shame them, but just because if I was in that situation I'd want someone to tell me.

Then their cousins gave them a cat. It was forced to live out all winter. Then it got pregnant. My kids asked the neighbor kids if their cat had its babies yet. The kids said yes, but all the babies died because momma cat wouldn't care for them. I know it's because the five kids harass tf out of that poor animal so she was so stressed she couldn't parent. The very day that all her kittens died, the kids were pushing and pulling the freshly postpartum mama cat back and forth over their fence, picking her up by her hair/skin, etc 😭😭😭😭😭

I am now so stressed and traumatized I feel frozen. So sick to my stomach I want to throw up.

Wwyd?!?!!?

I just took the MBE free sample test and only got one question wrong. I am not a law student but I have always been interested in going into law. Could this be any indicator at all that going into law is worth pursuing for me? Of course I understand a sample quiz is completely different than an hours or days long intensely timed exam! I sought out the free test after reading a recent article about a man who managed to sit for the bar without being an actual law student because he was curious - and it was legal - and he passed at/with 75%.

I was raised from the age of four by my grandmother until she died when I was 12. She was always carrying on about wearing clean underwear. Which I get! Trust! I'm all about having clean underwear! But it wasn't until recently that I realized how freaking bizarre her thought process was.

It would go, like, "Make sure you have clean underwear! Are you wearing clean underwear??? What if there's a serious accident and you get rushed to the hospital.... and you don't have clean underwear on?!?!?"

Ummmmm.....

Grandma, I think clean underwear would be the least of my problems then... 🤔🧐😂