
u/Axenfonklatismrek

Barristan the Bold fighting Maelys the Monstrous, year 259 AC colorised
I FUCKING HATE DOTHRAKI!
Their entire culture is just raiding and raiding. And they are not even good Nomadic culture
I can talk for hours, if I leave something, feel free to mention it
Real Nomads were traders, merchants, hunters and herders. Dothraki seem to know a bit of herding and bit of hunting, but their main economic income is raiding and enslaving
What do they do with gold they get from Slavers? They don't buy shit, they are aversed to trading.
And yet they toggle godmode and avoid things like enemy hits or fortresses. I refuse to believe they can pose threat to anything more formidable than my defense! For fucks sakes, they are based on cultures that have mastered horse archery, yet they refuse to be disciplined, refuse to wear anything more formidable than sheep rags. The only adversary they face is bunch of shepherds who can't fight back
And How do they threaten cities when they don't have siege weapons? When Tatars came to Hungary, they were winning, but once they returned, they got a big punch into their faces thanks to the constant building of fortifications in kingdom of Hungary
If Dothraki were put into our world, especially the world of middle ages, they would barely hold any piece of grass, they would have been wiped out from existence
RE-VISITING THE OLD POST: Who do you think is your least favourite character?
Its an aniversary to a post. I am a slow reader, still in the first book, had to work a lot in summer, and now here we are
I recently watched Carrie(>!Horror movie based on Stephen King novela, about a teenage magical girl being mistreated by everyone in highschool and home, and then lashing out. BOY DO I HATED MARGARET WHITE! Highschool bullies like Nolan may be dicks, but Margaret White? She's Carrie's mother!!<) and it let me think how much every media has this one or person designed for hatred.
I have 3 categories of characters
- Intentionally hated characters(>!Examples: Above mentioned Margaret White or Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter. Joffrey Baratheon in ASOIAF, Grima Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings. Grand Moff Tarkin from Star Wars: The New hope. Griffith from Berserk.!<)
- Unintentionally unsympathetic(>!Examples: Paris in Troy 2004. He provokes a war that his city lost, and he doesn't get justice. Jar Jar Binks for wasting 30% of screentime in Phantom Menace.!<)
- Wasted Potentials(>!Examples: Most of the cast in Game of Thrones Season 8, but particularly THE WHITE WALKERS!<)
I will also determine canon
- Books
- Games
- 2002 TV show
- Netflix
So here is my top few
INTENTIONALLY HATEFUL:
- Books: So far, Stregobor. He is a coward to stand up to his consenquences, or take responsibility for unleashing devil upon the world, or in this case, one nasty Snow White. And worst part? There is no justice in his actions
- Games: Entire Salamandra. I am a dog owner and what do they do to puppies? I have to kill them
- 2002 tv show: Falwick, AKA Skinhead. He's a smug douchebag, and he is an ultimate Anti-climax. He doesn't even fight
- Baba Yaga from Season 2. I don't care whats her original name, she lives in a chicken house, wants to eat kids, what is it? Baba Yaga!
UNINTENTIONALLY UNSYMPATHETIC
- Books Thats the hardest for me to say, because deep down every character has their skeletons in the closet.
- Games: Syanna. I hate this pompous brat a lot! She may not be cruel like Whoreson or Radovid, but she sure tries to have her light side. You know, Syanna, Triss have been transformed into jade statue in Witcher 2 and tortured by Nilfgaardians, and you don't see her going around, telling Geralt to burn up orphanages. Ciri has been hunted for days, and she is still fine. Yennefer had rougher life than you, and you see her burning entire kingdoms to ashes! Syanna is just a spoiled brat, who takes a large temper tantrum on her life and blames the world aorund her, not her toxic attitude
- 2002 Show: Renfri. Are you forgetting she MURDERED THE ENTIRE CLOISTER OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN! HOW COME YOU TRY TO PORTRAY HER IN A SYMPATHETIC LIGHT?! No, she deserves to die!
- Netflix: Yennefer. Oh my god, do I need to talk about? This Yennefer is one of THE WORST PARENTS I'VE SEEN, SHE IS ON PAR WITH MARGARET WHITE LEVEL BAD!
WASTED POTENTIALS
- Books: So far none for me, i am a slow reader, and I don't listen to Audiobooks.
- Games: I can say triss, but I go with Eredin: He is the ultimate Aura framer, all bark no bite, he may fight well, but he's a boring villain.
- 2002 Yennefer, basic story principle would tell me she would find Geralt and they two will take Ciri. But no, she wants a child, gets dragon baby into her arms and.... Yeah thats it, there is no further resolution to her story.
- Falwick again, but its because I expected him being an ex-witcher to have a relevancy to the plot. I expected this secret to build up(>!He could have listened to conversation on the other side of the room. He could have been a good fighter, or share encyclopedic knowledge on bestiary or alchemy.!<) He doesn't even put up a good smack
- Netflix: Oh my god, what could have been cool show, but what is this? It makes Got Season 8 look like Return of the King
When you download wrong subtitles but it fits the scene anyway
Yo downloaded wrong subtitles but it fits the movie anyway
Custom civ concept: Tarascans/Purépecha
Yesterday I posted Tlaxcallans. Now its Tarascans
Take my word wit
- COA: Tlaloc Headdress
- Castle: Tzintzuntzan
- Wonder: Yácata Pyramids
ARCHER CIV
TEAM BONUS: BLACKSMITHS ADD +10 POP SPACE
- Hunters don't need a dropoff point
- Eagle warriors move +10% faster, starting in feudal age
- Archery range units regenerate 10/15/20 HP per minute
- Miners carry +5 resources
UNIQUE UNIT 1: Metal Champion(An Infantryman, who deflects 33% of the enemy normal melee attack. Strong in melee, weak in range)
UNIQUE UNIT 2: Blowgunner(Anti-infantry ranged warrior, he has 6 poison damage. They cannot increase their attack or ranged, just affected by armor.)
TECH 1: Tarascan Metalurgy(Attack upgrades increase bonus damage)
TECH 2: Blessings of Cuitzeo(Blowgunners gain extra range, they along Eagle warriors are trained 25% faster)
TECH TREE
- ARCHERS: full for american civ
- INFANTRY: THE ONLY MESOAMERICAN CIV WITHOUT ARSON, otherwise full
- AMERICAN SIEGE: Missing Siege Onager
- BLACKSMITH: Full for American civ
- DOCK: Missing all University ship techs from Imperial age and fast fireship,
- MONKS: Missing Faith and Atonement
- DEFENSES: Missing Architecture, Hoardings, Arrowslits, Fortified wall and Bombard tower
- ECONOMY: THE ONLY MESOAMERICAN CIV WITHOUT CROP ROTATION, otherwise missing Guilds
Tlaxcallans(Civ concept)
COA: Tlaxcalan shield
Castle: Xochitécatl pyramid
WONDER: Statues of Tula Grande
Infantry and Monk Civ
TEAM BONUS: Infantry do +2 against siege
- Eagle warriors cost -15/20/25% Less
- Foragers generate 25% gold
- Relics increase villager workrate by 2.5%, max +10%
- Gambesons apply to all infantry units
UNIQUE UNIT 1.: Coyote warrior(Infantryman, who can switch weapons between Spear and Club. Former does Pierce attack, latter does melee. Weak armor, medium attack, faster than normal infantry. Think of it as a melee warrior, who can do either pierce attack or melee. Starts in Melee attack)
UNIQUE UNIT 2: Cuahchiqueh Warrior(Infantryman, who has Frenzy ability(The less HP he has, the more damage he does. Reverse Kona basically))
- TECH 1: Cotton armor(Skirmishers and Coyote warriors gain anti-ranged shield(Closer to Iron Pagoda rather than Shirvanshah Rider))
- TECH 2: Macuahuitl(Eagle Warriors and Militia gain +1 range)
AMERICAN TECH TREE
- ARCHERS: Missing Thumb Ring
- INFANTRY: Its full
- STABLE: In IMP AGE, they can train Xolotl Warriors
- BLACKSMITH: THE ONLY MESOAMERICAN CIV WITHOUT BRACER.
- MONK: Its full
- SIEGE: Missing Siege Onager and BOmbard cannon
- DOCK: Missing Fast fire ship, Dry dock and siphons.
- DEFENSES: THE ONLY AMERICAN CIV WITHOUT TREADMIL CRANE, otherwise missing Arrowslits, Fortified walls and Bombard Tower
- ECONOMY: Missing Guilds and Two-man saw
Dank meme, dank words from ally subreddits
r/Berserk, r/wiedzmin .
My Zapotecs civ concept
I will be honest, I am terrible historian. I was just thinking about it from game perspective and I worry I made it too OP, even for my tastes
This is just copy from my notes I was writing when I was gone on vacation, watching whatever I could and then coming up with my civs for AOE2
- COA: Mosaic mask of Bat God, Piquete Ziña
- Castle: Monte Albán
- Wonder: Mitla
ARCHER AND DEFENSIVE CIV
TEAM BONUS: Skirmishers get +1 against buildings
- Archery range units are affected by Barracks research techs(Squires, Gambesons and Arson)
- Towers cost -20% less
- Food collectors work 10% faster
- Buildings are not limited by Elevation, except Town Centers
- UNIQUE UNIT 1: Owl Warrior(Imagine Guecha Warrior, but instead of heal abilty, he has Hit and Run ability, IE can attack while running, the Damage is closer to Skirmisher than Guecha warrior. Their throw spears even when running from you).
- UNIQUE UNIT 2: Hornet thrower(A mix of Jurchen Grenadier and SC2 Brood lord. He throws beehive, that will soften up(IE poison) enemy, those Beehives are two second living entities that will damage you. Strong against groups and cavalry, weak against siege)
TECH 1: Mitla Masonry(Buildings receive -20% Anti-building damage)
TECH 2: Obsidian tips(Skirmishers and Eagle warriors ignore 50% of your armor)
Tech Tree
ARCHERS:
- Its full for Mesoamerican civ
BARRACKS:
- Full for Mesoamerican civ
SIEGE:
- Missing Bombard cannon and Siege Onager
BLACKSMITH:
- THE ONLY MESOAMERICAN CIV WITHOUT BLAST FURNACE
DOCK:
- Missing Fast Fireship, Shipwright ad Dry dock, + Incendiaries
MONK:
- THE ONLY AMERICAN CIV WITHOUT HERESY! otherwise full
DEFENSES:
- Missing Siege engineers, Heated Shot and Bombard tower
ECONOMY:
- Missing Guilds and Gold Shaft mining
Custom civ of my day: Estonians
I wanted to add some Eastern European naval civ so I decided to add them. Estonian military history isn't my cup of tea, the only things I found is that Oeselian islands were full of Vikings and sea-fairers and Danish played heavily in the influence, so there's that.
- COA: Estonian Coat of Arms
- Castle: (Hermann castle, Narva)
- Wonder(Valjala church, Saaremaa)
Infantry and Naval civ
>TEAM BONUS: Ships in general get +2 LOS
- Clinker construction and Carvel hull are free
- Militia line gets +1/1 armor
- Woodcutters carry +20% wood
- Starts with Villager gathering food from deer
>UNIQUE UNIT 1: Oeselian Veteran(Skirmisher-type unit, that switches has minimum range, in which he switches from ranged to melee. Strong against archers, weak against cavalry. THE ONLY CASTLE UNIQUE UNIT that costs wood and food. No, Magyar Huszar costs gold until you research the tech. This one can switch to melee anytime, but if you get close to it in order to attack it, he will automatically switch to it.)
>UNIQUE UNIT 2: Danish Crusader(Cavalry unit, trainable from stables, who can march across water. Sort of like Nagas from WC3, but instead this one can't fight on water, and is vulnerable in swimming state(Let me put it like this: Arbalester would need to bring Elite one down).
If you're curious, neither unit is based on any historical record, I just needed to add new units for the sake of adding them.
- TECH 1: Oeselianraids(Hulk line and Melee Oeselian raiders attack 20% faster)
- TECH 2: Livonian order(Militia-line, Danish Crusaders and Oeselian Veterans(In Melee specifically) generate gold in combat)
Tech tree:
- ARCHERS Missing Heavy cavarcher and Hand Cannoneer
- INFANTRY: Missing Gambesons
- CAVALRY: THE ONLY EUROPEAN CIV WITHOUT KNIGHT LINE, THEY INSTEAD HAVE DANISH CRUSADERS, otherwise missing Husbandry and Hussar
- SIEGE: Missing Siege Ram and Siege Onager
- BLACKMSITH: Missing Plate Barding
- MONKS: Missing Redemption, Heresy, Sanctity and Atonement
- DOCK: Missing Fast Fireship and Incendiaries
- DEFENSES: Missing Bombard tower, Arrowslits, Treadmil crane, Fortified wall, Siege engineers, Sappers and Keep
- ECONOMY: Missing Crop rotations and Guilds
Imagine if each campaign had Chronicles/Three Kingdoms/Last Chieftains style decisions, what would be for Prithviraj
Note: This is not my image, this is from Wiki.
Before you get angry that i'm not always using the proper names, sorry. I'm going with colors
Here are my decisions
- Born of Fire - Saving two villages = more resources at the start of each game. Killing red Raja = red player will take extra time to attack you in the next scenario
- The Digvijaya - Having to pick a reward for liberating Green player. Either Light cavalry or Elephant archers.
- Hand of a Princess = Arriving sooner = you will gain extra twenty years in next scenario
- The Fate of India = Slaughtering monks or sparing them. Next scenario you can start with extra monk or extra gold
My interpretation of Andalusians into AOE2.
I wrote this during my trip in the woods, so i'm going to post stuff like this. While Berbers and Saracens may represent conquerors of Spain. Andalusians represent Muslims who lived in Spain by the time of Great Reconquista. I call them "Middle Eastern" because of Architecture
- COA: Emirate of Granada
- Castle: Alhambra
- Wonder: Mosque-Cathedral of Cordoba(I knnow its inappropriate, but damn it, I have to use fantastical architecture for once)
Defensive, Monk and Economy civ
TEAM BONUS: Monasteries, blacksmiths and Universities add +5 pop space
- Foragers generate 25% gold
- Defensive buildings resist 20% of the bonus damage
- University techs cost -60% food
- Military units(Except Ships and siege) cost -5% less
- Have access to Caravensarai
- Monks regenerate 15/20HP per minute
Unique unit: Alhambran Guard(Infantry unit, that can work like villager, they work 50% slower than a vilager, but when the time comes, they fight. Strong against ranged, weak against cavalry)
- TECH 1: Jizia(Villagers generate 1 gold per 20 resources)
- TECH 2: Zenata volunteers(Cavalry archers, Camels and Light cavalry do +5 against buildings)
TECH TREE
- ARCHERS Missing Arbalester, Thumb Ring and Parthian tactics
- INFANTRY: Missing Champion and Arson
- CAVALRY: Missing bloodlines and Paladin
- SIEGE: Missing Siege Onager and Bombard Cannon
- DEFENSES: Missing Bombard Tower and Siege Engineers
- Blacksmith: Missing Blast Furnace
- DOCK: Missing Heavy Demo Ship, Dry Dock, Incendiaries and Shipwright(Really, looking up Granada history and it seems they weren't impressive in sea, yes they sure ruled over a coastal nation, but they weren't the naval rulers like Aragonese, they merely traded with the nations south of them)
- MONKS: Missing Faith
- ECONOMY: Its full
Custom civ of the series "To the Last Daimyo" Part 2: Kyushians
Before you post comment: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR "PLS DO THIS AREA" or "WE HAVE ENOUGH OF THIS CIV"
This is just my fun Sengoku Jidai split, nothing more. And besides, I count Kyushans as an culture, not a faction, so therefore they are worthy of a split IMO
- COA: Shimazu clan
- Castle: Kokura castle, Fukuoka perfecture
- Wonder: Dazaifu Tenmangu temple, same perfecture
Infantry and Gunpowder civ
TEAM BONUS: Gunpowder units do +1 against archers
- Lumber and Mining Camps add +5 pop space
- Militia line and Warrior monks costs -20%/25%/30/35% less gold
- Medium Warships and Heavy Warships cost -50% less
- Gunpowder units regenerate 25 HP per minute
UNIQUE UNIT: Kanabo samurai(Anti-armor infantryman, who deals slash attack(Ibirapema but instead of hitting unit behind the target, he hits two units next to the target. It works when he's targeting unit next to you). Weak pierce armor, strong attack)
- TECH 1: Yari(Spearmen get +0,50 range. Didn't wanted next Kamayuk)
- TECH 2: Nanban Trade(Hand Cannoneers gain +2 projectiles)
TECH TREE:
- ARCHERS Missing Arbalester, Parthian Tactics and Thumb ring
- INFANTRY: Missing Gambesons
- CAVALRY: Missing Paladin
- SIEGE: Missing Siege ram and Siege Onager
- BLACKSMITH Missing Bracer
- DOCK They have Bune ship line instead of Galley, otherwise missing Incendiaries and Heavy Demo Ship
- MONKS: THE ONLY CIV WITHOUT DEVOTION AND FAITH, otherwise missing Heresy and Block Printing, a nod to Otomo converting to Catholicism after Portuguese
- DEFENSES Missing Architecture, Keep and Arrowslits
- ECONOMY Missing Two-man saw
Regionals:
- Regional Cavalry unit: Mounted Samurai. Cavalry archer replacement, OG Japanese will have to rename thier Samurai to Katana Samurai
- Regional ship line: Kobaya -> Bune -> Atakebune. Galleon replacement.
- Regional unit 2: Sohei monk -> Elite Sohei Monk: Shock Infantry, trained , slight bonus against cavalry, but they have ability to tiny heal unit, sort of like Reverse Guecha warrior, except instead of healing themselves after one falls, they heal each other after enemy falls. They are upgraded by fervor and Sanctity, but take damage from Light cavalry as a monk