u/BC_Arctic_Fox

Sooooo, in an effort to help get my ADHD ass off of my phone (especially Reddit, damnit!) I started using my Digital Wellbeing option on my phone. I can set timers, and when I'm close to the limit, my phone warns me with a 5min warning, then the screen goes greyscale with a one minute warning.

And instead of stopping, I go in and adjust my timer, giving myself another hour.

And when POOF that time flies by, and the warning happens again, I again go in and adjust the timer.

I'm currently sitting here, shaking my head, wondering *why* I'm doing this to myself! Twice I've gone in, adjusting the timer.

I just gave up and deleted it for today lol

Just like I did yesterday, then set it again this AM! Ha!

Omfg my behaviour is soooo laughable at times! I drive me crazy!

Might anyone else relate!?!?

Before I met my (now ex)husband, I tried some online dating. One man assured me (unprompted) that he was a social drinker, but when we met up I realized "social drinker" for him meant drinking a case of beer daily in the park with his dog. Ha! I liked the dog, though! Another man said he and his wife were in a polyamorous relationship, but he didn't want to meet in public. Yeah pass. I met up with a different man, we had coffee and seemed to get along, so we decided we'd meet up for dinner the next night. Things were going well until he tried to feed me using his own fork, even oddly insistent about it, then became weirdly sullen when I refused. I paid for my own dinner and left after we finished our meals in silence. I'm not sure he even looked at me? That was on the edge of creepy.

Then I met my ex-husband (at a fun golf tournament) and everything we talked about just flowed, and each topic we touched on could have easily become deeper conversations. And SO much laughter! Thinking about it inevitably makes me smile.

What memorable dates/meet ups have you had?

Edit - "Cant be too much fun since hes now your ex.." is a DM from some moron who obviously has never had a relationship!

Edit 2 - "Hi there 46 married white guy here in Vancouver, BC. How are you?" another DM. Like wtaf? IGNORE

After reading a few comments on another post, I started wondering about condom usage.

How do you approach this with your new partner? Do you use condoms until you both get tested for STIs and share with each other the results?

In another post, I was very surprised to read a comment that a man should consider a vasectomy so condoms wouldn't have to be used. Condoms are for more than preventing pregnancy, especially with us postmenopausal women.

I'm curious, how do people usually handle these discussions with new partners?

Edit: spelling! Ugh

A random message from some dude on Reddit that weirdly impressed me with his use of language, and made me shake my head.

"Hey there, hope you are having a great weekend. I am taking a quick gamble stepping into your inbox, but I was reading through some of the discussions on the DO50 sub and your text presence completely caught my attention. To be entirely transparent, I am a younger guy, but I have always operated on a completely different wavelength because there is a rare kind of magnetism in a woman who has completely outgrown modern mind games and carries herself with real, effortless confidence. I am Sam, and since you clearly check every single box for a spectacular, sharp presence on here, I wanted to introduce myself properly. Are you usually open to a high quality, unexpected distraction in your inbox, or did my timing just happen to be perfect?"

Did you read that? I'm a *spectacular, sharp presence*! AND I have a *rare kind of magnesium*! Pretty astute for only reading one comment lol

Hope your Sunday was as satisfying as mine! Have a fabulous evening y'all

Edit: weird formatting?

Edit 2: hahahahaha please read as MAGNETISM not MAGNESIUM. Stupid autocorrect and I didn't notice until I read the comments...I'm lol now

Whoa. This guy is blowing my mind!! With too many relationships that just didn't work, I'd decided that I'd just spend the rest of my life single.

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And don't even get me started on friendships 😉

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https://youtu.be/9xaPg\_c74Ns?si=bPI-rYPRPl0iYT0T

Off of *both* weed and cigarettes!

I'm 57 and have smoked cigarettes since I was 13, but "quit" dozens of times.

And I've been smoking weed since my early 20s, off and on, but when I was smoking it was usually daily. "Wake & bake" style with my AM coffee & cigarettes was how I started my days.

I had a .. shift? .. and stopped both a month ago.

I'm celebrating by using that money that I would have spent, and investing it instead into a visit to the dentist tomorrow for a cleaning.

Go me go!!

I use music to help regulate my emotions (when I can remember to!!) and today I'm really just not ok.

I'm coming out sideways, pushing people away, misinterpreting current happenings, drowning in my own shit. Blah blah blah.

Please, what music would you recommend? I'm needing happier stuff, to pull me up again.

Thank you, my community ✌️

Edit - thank you to everyone who shared 🥹😭💞 I was introduced to a lot of different music, and I appreciate every single one of you 🫂 It's now bedtime, and after many tears, much music, and amazing vibes, my bed is going to feel extra comfy 💗 Thank you

I've had food poisoning five times. Twice when I was a kid, and three times throughout the years as an adult. The weird part is that three of those times (that I'm aware of), I was the only one who got sick out of the people who ate the same thing! Both times when I was a kid, and once as an adult.

Food poisoning is often mistaken for the "24 hour flu", because it's an intense few hours of the body ejecting *everything* out from both ends. Not to be too descriptive, but basically needing to sit on the toilet while vomiting into a bucket. After the body is emptied, it stops.

I read something earlier about poor gut biome being linked to PMDD, which I recently recognize I had but I'm now postmenopausal.

I'm also aware that serotonin is produced in the guts and travels to the brain, but what else?

It's 3:45am and I'm awake - my insomnia is kicking my ass - but I started wondering if there's a link somehow to how severe my executive dysfunction has become. I have a very poor diet, a combination of financial restraints and executive dysfunction will do that, even though I know what I *should* be eating. Fermented foods rarely hit my plate! I'm more focused right now on getting enough protein and I started supplements for Omega 3 and a multivitamin with minerals.

Instinctively I feel like there's a connection between my sensitive digestive system and my mental challenges, but I'm *just* putting this together.

What's your experience with food? Have you had challenges with a sensitive system?

Is it the brain itself that's different, or how it operates? Is there a way to make the brain healthier, for optimum functioning, even with neurodivergence?

...is what the psychologist who was doing my psychoeducational assessment said!!

What do you think, community? Does this statement hold true in your experience?

Ok, that's what I know so far from my psychoeducational assessment, is that I have significant auditory processing delay.

Ironically, she told me that yesterday afternoon and I really didn't "hear" it until last night when I couldn't sleep.

Huh.

And suddenly .. a HUGE piece was revealed. I knew I preferred written directions, but I didn't know why. **BOOM** Things about my history started falling into place....

All those miscommunications, all those time I Just. Didn't. Understand. All of my relationships are very challenging, and I'm exhausted trying to have any tbh. It just takes me so much longer to understand what people say, not until much later. All those times people were mean that went over my head, *in the moment*. Likely thousands of conversations that I thought I was following, but would get lost in somehow, and miss things. I wonder what I've missed, that I don't even know I've missed? Yuck. I don't like that thought.

It also makes sense why I need silence, I crave it. Sleep is already elusive, but when there's sound? Not gonna happen...but things like running a fan at night doesn't help, because my brain literally makes it into a song. Phantom songs? Is that a thing for anyone else? I have tried sleeping with earplugs in the past, but that's just not comfortable. I've never *not* felt them in there, and will continue to feel even after they've been taken out! Yuuuuuck.

So, my question to you fabulous community, is what has worked for you to help create the environment you need to help sleep?

The "paper work" part has been done, with me answering three different questionnaires. Tomorrow is the first appointment, by Zoom, and then two in-person meetings.

Now that it's happening - actually happening!! - I'm kinda freaking out. I really can't tell the difference sometimes between anxious and excited - my body reacts much in the same way for both.

Through my own research and putting pieces together, I have a much clearer timeline on how the various traumas in my life further tanked my executive functioning. When I could see those last bits fall together in my head? **BOOM** I already feel lighter!

Soon .. soon I'll have something to take to the doctor to start medication. This is big. BIIIIIIG.

I'm *really* beginning to believe that my future won't look the same as my past! I'm not broken, I don't need fixing, I'm hopeful.

Thank you, community, for being here. For understanding. For the support. For giving me a language so I could FINALLY speak my truth. For being here so I'm not just standing on a cliff edge, screaming into the void! It took a global community to show me I'm not as unique as I thought I was, and reading through our posts and comments in this subreddit, I'm always struck by how often I think, "Me too." Thank you for that 🥹

You 'neek up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.