u/BakerCritical

Hi! I’m buying my first car and would really appreciate some outside perspective.

My budget is around $15k OTD (including taxes/fees), and I’m looking for something reliable that will last me at least 5 years. I mainly drive to work, errands, and occasional road trips.

I’ve been focusing on cars like:
Mazda CX-5 (2016–2017)
Toyota Camry (2015–2017)
Honda Civic/Accord (2015–2017)
Honda CRV (2015+)

Ideally I’d like something under ~85k miles, clean title, and well-maintained.

The issue is my family keeps telling me I’m being “too picky” and that I should just spend under $10k, even if that means getting something with 100k+ miles. My sister most especially is irritating me. She keeps telling me I need to be open minded but why does me saying what I want means that I’m not being open minded simply because it’s not what she thinks is best. I don’t want a Hyundai, Subaru, Kia, etc. I know what I want and I’ve test drives a couple of cars so why would o deviate from that? She keeps telling me she wouldn’t spend more than $10k but she wants to buy her second car for $15k so why come my first car has to be any beater that can get to point A to B but her second can be anything she wants? My dad got her car from an auction a couple years ago, it’s rebuilt and it has issues. That’s fine and not her fault. But that’s not my fault. She says I need to stop looking online and look at local dealerships. I told her I looked at them and told her gone are the days you’re gonna find a $10k car that doesn’t have accidents, recalls, 3-ish owners, well maintained and low mileage. At a local dealership a 2013 Corolla with 113k miles is asking for $11k before taxes and fees??

My concern is that cheaper upfront could mean more maintenance and repairs long-term.

Am I being unrealistic with my expectations in this market? They’re forcing me to drive around Saturday and buy something the same day and it’s irritating me.

Hi! I’ve been working as a PCT/PCA for the past 2 years since I graduated. I really just took the job because after college I was exhausted and wanted a break. I work full time, 32 hours, 4 8-hour shifts, every other weekend, and make 32k a year. I live at home with my parents and my siblings. I’m 23F. At the beginning I knew coming in this job would be demanding and I was fully prepared for it. The first year wasn’t all that bad. I was asked to train people, I received many compliments from nurses, nursing educators, and my manager on my work style and patient care skills. But I noticed how quickly the year went by and how much of my life was just spent at work.

I don’t know what I want to do going forward, or maybe I’m just too scared to pivot into something new. I have a BS in psych but took nursing prerequisite prior to graduating. I planned on a masters in counseling psych but ultimately decided it might not be for me. Bedside is exhausting. Thinking of going to work makes me feel like crying. I want to leave and yet I feel to tethered. I don’t know who I am anymore or what I want anymore. When I see friends moving on to grad school or pivoting I feel so sad, I feel like I’m sitting in a cage that I know is unlocked but I can’t even begin to walk out.

My sister is an RN and my mom is an LPN. My brother is pursing a masters to be a PA. Everyone keeps pushing medicine and healthcare but I don’t even know what’s my own desire. I feel like all my life I’ve always just kinda done what was expected of me, never really pausing to think if what I was doing was what I truly wanted or what I needed to do to look a certain way. I’m tired of living my life for others. Being at home is also draining me. My mom always yells and complains because she can’t afford the mortgage on a new house she and my dad decided to buy 3 years ago when they knew it would be beyond their means. She expects me and my older sister to pay mortgage, pay my younger sister’s school fees, pay all of these expenses and it’s exhausting. I’m saving up for a car, but the car market is horrible and I’ve tried to put in offers and make progress but either the car sells before I even get to see it or the dealership or private seller rejects my offer.

I’ve been really depressed. Last week I literally broke down. I felt just a well of emotions rise up and didn’t know what to do with them or how to even express them. I feel angry at myself for not being more independent, for not knowing myself well, for always worrying about what others think of me. I have friends but I feel so unseen and I can’t keep dumping all my emotions onto them.

But I just want a way out. I’m scared to quit, I wanna be wise about it and I want to be strategic. I’m scared to move onto a different unit. What if I actually don’t really want to do healthcare and I’d have spent all this time for nothing? I wanted to shift into radiology or maternity. But I also want to explore fields outside of healthcare. The hospital settings make life feel sterile and colorless. My hospital has a rooftop garden that I’ve only been to 3 times since it was built last year and it’s depressing.

Everyday I wake up and life just keeps going, I truly don’t feel happy or hopeful and it’s ruining my life. I’m scared if I don’t move forward I’ll just stay where I am for years and years.

TO KEEP IT SHORT: has anyone left their CNA/PCT job
or healthcare in general? What did it feel like leaving? How did you come to that decision? Are you happier now? Is anyone thinking of leaving?

Hi! I’ve been working as a PCT/PCA for the past 2 years since I graduated. I really just took the job because after college I was exhausted and wanted a break. I work full time, 32 hours, 4 8-hour shifts, every other weekend, and make 32k a year. I live at home with my parents and my siblings. I’m 23F. At the beginning I knew coming in this job would be demanding and I was fully prepared for it. The first year wasn’t all that bad. I was asked to train people, I received many compliments from nurses, nursing educators, and my manager on my work style and patient care skills. But I noticed how quickly the year went by and how much of my life was just spent at work.

I don’t know what I want to do going forward, or maybe I’m just too scared to pivot into something new. I have a BS in psych but took nursing prerequisite prior to graduating. I planned on a masters in counseling psych but ultimately decided it might not be for me. Bedside is exhausting. Thinking of going to work makes me feel like crying. I want to leave and yet I feel to tethered. I don’t know who I am anymore or what I want anymore. When I see friends moving on to grad school or pivoting I feel so sad, I feel like I’m sitting in a cage that I know is unlocked but I can’t even begin to walk out.

My sister is an RN and my mom is an LPN. My brother is pursing a masters to be a PA. Everyone keeps pushing medicine and healthcare but I don’t even know what’s my own desire. I feel like all my life I’ve always just kinda done what was expected of me, never really pausing to think if what I was doing was what I truly wanted or what I needed to do to look a certain way. I’m tired of living my life for others. Being at home is also draining me. My mom always yells and complains because she can’t afford the mortgage on a new house she and my dad decided to buy 3 years ago when they knew it would be beyond their means. She expects me and my older sister to pay mortgage, pay my younger sister’s school fees, pay all of these expenses and it’s exhausting. I’m saving up for a car, but the car market is horrible and I’ve tried to put in offers and make progress but either the car sells before I even get to see it or the dealership or private seller rejects my offer.

I’ve been really depressed. Last week I literally broke down. I felt just a well of emotions rise up and didn’t know what to do with them or how to even express them. I feel angry at myself for not being more independent, for not knowing myself well, for always worrying about what others think of me. I have friends but I feel so unseen and I can’t keep dumping all my emotions onto them.

But I just want a way out. I’m scared to quit, I wanna be wise about it and I want to be strategic. I’m scared to move onto a different unit. What if I actually don’t really want to do healthcare and I’d have spent all this time for nothing? I wanted to shift into radiology or maternity. But I also want to explore fields outside of healthcare. The hospital settings make life feel sterile and colorless. My hospital has a rooftop garden that I’ve only been to 3 times since it was built last year and it’s depressing.

Everyday I wake up and life just keeps going, I truly don’t feel happy or hopeful and it’s ruining my life. I’m scared if I don’t move forward I’ll just stay where I am for years and years.

TO KEEP IT SHORT: has anyone left their CNA/PCT job
or healthcare in general? What did it feel like leaving? How did you come to that decision? Are you happier now? Is anyone thinking of leaving?

Hi please help me narrow down my options. This would be my first car purchase ever. I’m 23F, looking for something reliable, great safety features, comfortable, good on gas, and will last at least 5 more years. I mostly drive to work, the gym, and run errands. But I’d love to do a few road trips since I enjoy driving. My current budget is $13k OTD.

1. 2016 Honda Accord EX-L (98.5k miles, $13k)— 2 owners, no accidents.

\- Parking break is nonfunctional

\- Power window intermittently freeze

\- Apple CarPlay occasionally looses connection

2. 2017 Toyota Camry SE (96k miles, $12,500) — still waiting on CARFAX from seller. But she said two new tires, breaks were done recently. Minor scratches. Selling because her family would like to upgrade to a bigger car to suit their needs.

3. 2016 Mazda CX-5 Touring (87k miles, $14,945) — 3 previous owners, 1 corporate lease then personal. Dealership listing.

4. 2014 Honda Civic Hybrid (61k miles, $12,495) — 2 owners, 1 accident in 2017 (damage severity not shown in CARFAX) Dealership listing.

5. 2016 Mazda 6 Touring (84k miles, $11k) — 4 previous owners: corporate and then personal, no accidents.
   Seller said he put in:
   \- New battery

\- Serpentine belt replaced

6. 2016 Mazda 6 Grand Touring (109k miles, $11.5k) — 1 owner, minor accident in 2018

I know a certain level of hunger is normal during weight loss but this week I decided to take a maintenance break because even in my deficit I was feeling crazy hungry. But even when I eat my maintenance I still feel like I could eat 2 more meals.

I’m 5’5, 23F, currently 154lbs, my goal atm is 140 and I’ve only lost 6lbs since January 🥲😭 Last year I dropped from 230 to 160. My highest is 260 in 2021.

Today I had:
Breakfast: protein oatmeal with fair life shake

Lunch: buffalo chicken meatballs with veggies and brown rice and yogurt

Dinner: ground beef with the rest of my buffalo chicken meatballs and brown rice

Snacks: seaweed, and some chips (weighed out)

I tracked everything and weighed everything out. Today was a lazy meal day but usually for breakfast I’ll have either protein pancakes, or egg toast with yogurt parfait (no granola) or I’ll have oatmeal with yogurt. Lunch is usually skipped because I work in the afternoon so I eat a big breakfast most days and a snack. But dinner i usually have salmon, beef, or chicken in some variation with veggies and some carbs. Snacks vary but I weigh it out.

I decided maybe I’ll do a maintenance break and eat a bit more to help break this plateau. But oh my days I’m so hungry! I just finished my dinner and feel like I could eat more. And I’m at 1500 cals for the day already.
This year has just been hard and I can’t seem to break past 153lbs for months!!!

I was reading that it’s better to eat a bit more temporarily or eat in maintenance and then afterwards resume the deficit. So I wanted to try that. Any advice or suggestions?