u/BandPsychological337

I pretty much use apps but when I 1st started using them I was afraid to initiate conversations. Now I have no issues doing it. I find I initiate maybe 50/60% of the time. However I find when I initiate, the conversations don’t last long or go anywhere beyond the app. Everyone I’ve dated with the exception of 1 person they messaged me first. So maybe I just need to let people message me 1st lol. Anyways if you do find yourself mainly initiating, how successful are you? Do you get dates or do most of the conversations fizzle out? If you don’t initiate, what’s the reason?

So I started talking to a girl that I dated in the past again recently. We stopped talking for awhile but she messaged me and we ended up hanging out about a month later. We both had a good time and she wanted a clean slate (we both had our issues when we dated). She wanted to see me again. However ever since we started messaging again this year her response time is pretty slow like she takes days or a week+ to answer.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I didn’t hear anything from her. So I decided to ask her on an actual date. She said yes and I set up the date but again took over a week to plan because of her slow response time. The date itself was okay but could’ve been a lot better. She was 2 hours late (she did tell me she was running late but after I was almost at the place we we’re going to) and I got drunk because I was waited for her at the bar so long.

Anyways she told me next date was on her and said the ball was in her court. After the date I didn’t hear anything for 2 weeks. No did you get home safe text or anything. She messages me finally saying she had been feeling down and that’s why she didn’t text me but asked me for a date and when I was free that week.

I responded the same day and she responded 5 days later asking Sunday? I said yes and I have been left on read since Thursday. No mention of the date or anything and it’s supposed to be tomorrow. I’m kinda getting annoyed with the whole situation. She was nothing like this when we dated. It feels like I’m the only one putting effort in.

She’s been active on social media so I don’t think she’s
that busy. I don’t get why she would reach out again if she’s not going to be consistent. I don’t expect all day texting or anything just being able to confirm plans within a reasonable amount of time.

I’ve noticed some women (especially more masculine women for whatever reason) lay it on thick even in the beginning with pet names or terms of endearment. Every message has some form of gorgeous, cutie, etc and it just seems a little bit much especially with someone you don’t really know yet and feels a bit inauthentic.

I took a break from dating apps for awhile. Last time I was on them was early last year and quickly realized I wasn’t over my ex so I got off. I’m ready to date again. Tinder is my favorite app just because it has the most people and the odds are in my favor. I had some good dates from it. Unfortunately I’m shadow banned so I can’t use it anymore. Taimi was the last app I used last year and I met 2 of my exes from there but it was terrible last time. I downloaded Hinge since I keep hearing good things about it but so far it seems lackluster.

You only get 8 likes a day which I guess makes you more picky but that’s pretty limiting. The profiles aren’t better than other apps even though you can personalize them more. I have received no likes yet but had 2 matches from likes I sent. 1 unmatched me (wasn’t going to work out because she had kids), and the other responded to my message kinda dry. So we’ll see. Is this usually how it starts? What are your guys experiences?

It’s my first time using a dating app outside of HER and I’m confused how it works. You can send likes and also comments from what I see. Are you supposed to send one or the other or both? Also any general tips for the apps would be appreciated because I’m kinda lost

I got laid off from my last job in February and have yet to find another. The job market is pretty bad. I’m hoping to get a certification next month which would help me a lot when looking for jobs. Luckily I’ve been getting unemployment so that’s been keeping me afloat. I also live at home still (I was working on moving out soon when I got laid off) so I’m fortunate not having to worry about rent. I want to start back dating at least casually but I don’t know if this is a good time. I don’t have as much disposable income as I did when I was working so I can’t pay for expensive dates. I also don’t want women to think I’m using them or that I’m a bum. I’m debating if I should wait until my financial situation is better or just put myself out there and see what happens.

I met this girl last year. We both weren’t really looking for anything serious as we both were trying to get over exes. However we hit it off and I really started to like her. Even though I liked her I didn’t want to put all my eggs in one basket so I kept my options open and started talking to other women.

I started prioritizing the other women and sometimes would get distracted on our dates and she felt hurt by that. Eventually she started talking to me less and ghosted. I was sad but I didn’t reach out. Fast forward to a few months ago she texted me and asked how I was. I responded and we texted but it would take awhile to hear back from her like a few days or even a month would go by. She asked me to go to a painting class with her and I said yes.

We met up a few weeks later and it went well. We both had fun. She apologized for ghosting and I apologized for how I treated her. She did say she has to see if I changed. I ended up spending the night at her place since it was late when we got done. We didn’t have sex but we did kiss. She said she wanted to see me again. She texted me after I got home and I responded but I didn’t hear from her after my message.

Fast forward to Wednesday night against my better judgment after having a couple drinks I texted her asking if she would go on a date with me. She opened it yesterday morning but didn’t reply until afternoon but apologized for the late response. She said yes to the date and gave me her availability. I responded with a day and time but I haven’t heard back yet and that was yesterday afternoon.

I guess I’m a little confused because I’m used to when we 1st met we texted consistently. Not all day but she would reply to my messages within a couple hours now it feels like I’m pulling teeth to get a response. I don’t know if she’s actually interested or not. She said she is but her actions aren’t really matching. It’s making me not want to go on a date. Her energy is completely different than it was last year. Advice?

I’ve noticed my home gym is really hot and humid. It’s pretty uncomfortable. I noticed the thermostat is set at 74 which is crazy considering it’s summer and easily in the high 80s now. I don’t know if it’s been set to that temperature all year but it’s made working out a drag. They have fans but they don’t really make a difference. I’ve worked out in the summer before and don’t remember it being like this.

As in do you wear it? If so, why and vice versa.
Fems or studs, if you date fems do you care if your partner wears makeup? I’m a fem and dabbled in makeup in my late teens but I stopped. Now I just wear lashes and some lip gloss/liner usually when I’m going out. I feel a little insecure though like I should be wearing, maybe because a lot of other women do. I don’t hate it, I just got comfortable going without it, I don’t know. Your thoughts?

So I am in the process of trying to make more friends. Specifically queer friends. I have a decent amount of straight friends who are great and supportive but it would be nice to have queer ones. What I am noticing is platonic relationships are very low on priority list for many of them. It seems like if they’re in a relationship they are attached at their hip to their partner i.e always talking about them, not wanting to hang out unless their partner is invited, etc or they are single and trying to find a partner and don’t really put much effort into forming a friendship.

The few times I have connected with other women they caught feelings and got upset when I told them I wasn’t interested in anything romantic. It seems like if there’s no romantic interest, they don’t want anything to do with you. I talked to a girl who literally said she doesn’t know how to function when she’s not in a relationship.

This kinda seems to be a pattern where a lot of queer women are constantly in relationships and don’t like to be alone and don’t really have friends either. I’m not looking for friends that have to talk everyday or hang out all of the time. I’m fine with communicating a couple times a week or so and hanging out maybe once or twice a month.

I know this probably happens in straight friendships too but my friends who are in a relationship do a pretty good job of balancing friendships and being a relationship. I don’t know it feels like our community is so relationship focused when friendships are important too.

So my great aunt died a couple weeks ago. She had been sick for a while so it wasn’t really a surprise. I was thinking her funeral would be a week or 2 after she passed but it won’t be until the 16th of May. My birthday trip is supposed to be 13-16th. I booked the hotel and rental car for the trip a while ago. The hotel is partially refundable but I’d be missing out on a decent amount of money if I cancel.

I didn’t book the flight though, I was waiting to see if prices went down more. My cousin who was supposed to go with me backed out because of the funeral. I tried looking at flights that come back the 15th but they are twice as much as the ones that come back the 16th. None of the flights on the 16th get back before the funeral which is 12pm.

I still want to go on the trip but my mom said I’d be selfish to go. I wasn’t really close to my great aunt and honestly I’ve been looking forward to this trip since I’ve had a rough start to the year. I did offer to help clean out her apartment this weekend and if they need help with anything else. I’m torn on what to do.