u/Barbels_and_Bikes

Since my LO was 3.5 months old (currently 6 mo) every nap has been a contact nap and we've been bedsharing. It's going well but at night I'm wondering if he actually needs some separation from me. Sometimes he'll be super fidgety and I can't calm him and eventually I have to nurse him to sleep even if he just nursed to sleep 20 minutes previously. But then I can go to the bathroom and he settles fine and is sleeping soundly without me by time I get back. I get in bed as quietly as I can but he senses I'm there and moves in close and about 50% of the time partially wakes and can't go back to sleep without nursing. I suspect if I never went back to the bed he would've kept sleeping until a more natural wake up point (sleep cycle, hunger).

Anyone else experience something similar? Is he telling me he's ready for more space? I'd love to be able to put him in bed and then leave for an hour or two to spend time with his dad before I go to bed, or to read or finish crocheting his toy dragon while he naps alone. His crib is next to the bed but lower than our mattress so I can't currently just roll him into it after nursing to sleep, but I've asked my husband to figure out how to make it even with our bed so I can do that.

I don't want him to wake and freak out because I'm not there. I want the transition to be smooth and him to always feel safe and supported around sleep. But if I am truly impacting his sleep I want to follow that cue as well. (Previously when he did nap and do ON sleep in his bassinet he never woke up freaking out if I wasn't there. He was usually pretty calm. But that was then. He may have changed after experiencing the good life :p).

How do I know when he's ready for something like this and how do I navigate the transition? Would love to hear how others have done it.

Since my LO was 3.5 months old (currently 6 mo) every nap has been a contact nap and we've been bedsharing. It's going well but at night I'm wondering if he actually needs some separation from me. Sometimes he'll be super fidgety and I can't calm him and eventually I have to nurse him to sleep even if he just nursed to sleep 20 minutes previously. But then I can go to the bathroom and he settles fine and is sleeping soundly without me by time I get back. I get in bed as quietly as I can but he senses I'm there and moves in close and about 50% of the time partially wakes and can't go back to sleep without nursing. I suspect if I never went back to the bed he would've kept sleeping until a more natural wake up point (sleep cycle, hunger).

Anyone else experience something similar? Is he telling me he's ready for more space? I'd love to be able to put him in bed and then leave for an hour or two to spend time with his dad before I go to bed, or to read or finish crocheting his toy dragon while he naps alone. His crib is next to the bed but lower than our mattress so I can't currently just roll him into it after nursing to sleep, but I've asked my husband to figure out how to make it even with our bed so I can do that.

I don't want him to wake and freak out because I'm not there. I want the transition to be smooth and him to always feel safe and supported around sleep. But if I am truly impacting his sleep I want to follow that cue as well. (Previously when he did nap and do ON sleep in his bassinet he never woke up freaking out if I wasn't there. He was usually pretty calm. But that was then. He may have changed after experiencing the good life :p).

How do I know when he's ready for something like this and how do I navigate the transition? Would love to hear how others have done it.

Reposting because Reddit filters removed the previous post. No clue why.

My little one is 6 months old in ​just a couple of days and we're having some interesting issues nursing as well as sleeping and I just need some solidarity. I cannot be the only one experiencing these things.

He does not nurse to sleep but he will nurse to go back to sleep in the middle of the night. We've been bed sharing since about 3 and 1/2 months when he started the 4-month sleep regression and just wouldn't settle in his bassinet anymore. Most nights are okay but occasionally we'll have these really ridiculous nights where he just will not grab the boob and I have to roll him and physically put him in position, ​and he will roll back and forth pull, kick me so kick himself off/unlatched and then get very upset because he's not latched anymore. I don't mind the waking up every hour or so to nurse but what really annoys me is when he won't even nurse and that's the one thing that will get him to go back to sleep. Now to be fair, I do get him nursing and get back to sleep within 5 minutes or so. But it's frustrating to feel like it's a fight to get there. And because I got all riled up I can't fall asleep again like he is. Last night was particularly bad: he woke every hour and then it seemed every little thing bothered him. If my husband shifted in bed, if I scratched, boom, awake again even if it was just 15-20 minutes later. I know it must've impacted him because he had a short wake window this morning and is passed out on my chest. He was falling asleep in the carrier on our morning walk which he hasn't done since he was 3 months old.

During the day he also seems to be very distracted while nursing. I'm not sure if maybe I'm offering to eat too often. I offer every 2 to 3 hours right now, usually before a nap and sometimes when he wakes up as well. When nursing he'll constantly come unlatched and roll back to look around behind him, try to put his fingers in his mouth at the same time, or, recently, even started to just clamp down on my nipple. He is teething so I'm hoping that this is the reason for all of this but I just want my nice nursing sessions back and my nice night times back.

To give you an example: two nights ago he had a great night. He only nursed three times in the night and the rest of the time just wanted to cuddle and he didn't wake up very much either. Just slept really nicely next to me and we both had a great sleep. Then last night. It seems like every time he has a really good night he follows it with a really bad one. Has anyone else experienced something similar? When does the phase end?

My little one is 6 months old and just a couple of days and we're having some interesting issues nursing as well as sleeping and I just need some solidarity. I cannot be the only one experiencing these things.

He does not nurse sleep but he will nurse to go back to sleep in the middle of the night. We've been bed sharing since about 3 and 1/2 months when he started the 4-month sleep regression and just wouldn't settle in his bassinet anymore. Most nights are okay but occasionally we'll have these really ridiculous nights where he just will not grab the boob and I have to roll him and drag him around the bed just to get them positioned and he will roll back and forth pull off, kick me so kick himself off and then get very upset because he's not latched anymore. I don't mind the waking up every hour or so to nurse but what really annoys me is when he won't even nurse and that's the one thing that will get him to go back to sleep. Now to be fair, I get him nursing and get back to sleep within 5 minutes or so. But it's just I don't know. Very frustrating.

During the day he also seems to be very distracted while nursing. I'm not sure if maybe I'm offering to eat too often. I offer every 2 to 3 hours right now, usually before a nap and sometimes when he wakes up as well. When nursing he'll constantly come on latch roll back to look around behind him or he's recently even started to just clamp down on my nipple. He is teething so I'm hoping that this is the reason for all of this but I just want my nice nursing sessions back and my nice night times back. To give you an example. Two nights ago he had a great night. He only nursed three times in the night and the rest of the time. Just wanted to cuddle and he didn't wake up very much either. Just slept really nicely next to me and we both had a great sleep. Which seems like every time he has a really good night. Has anyone else experienced something similar? When does the phase end?

*I've already decided my stance on vaccines, I don't need science or opinion or anything else. I'm asking for real experiences with a specific vaccine; if you can't share that please don't comment.

My LO is 5.5 months old and will be getting his first vaccine, ACTHiB, at his 6 month visit in a couple of weeks. We are skipping some vaccines and delaying others. I have a PhD in microbiology and have researched this extensively so this is where I ask commenters to refer back to the first sentence of this post if you feel yourself finding it difficult to contain the urge to tell me to just vaccinate or to just run the other way and get no vaccines.

I had originally also planned to give Prevnar (Pneumococcal) two weeks after HiB but I've never been 100% certain of that decision. I'm just not sure if the dismal efficacy is worth the side effects (fever sometimes very high, fussy, swollen arm most common). The only reason I'm considering it at all is because we will be traveling to Spain to visit my husband's family when LO is 10 months. I'm not worried about him getting sick. Rates of HiB and Pneumococcal infections in Spain are similarly low as in the US. I'm worried about him getting sick and having to be treated in the healthcare system in that particular area of Spain. They f'd up my sister in law's healthcare before she finally died and I do not trust it. At all.

Baby is EBF and taking B. infantis EVC001. I know risk of illness is low. What would help me make my final decision is honest accounts of how it went for your baby: the good, bad, and ugly (also age of baby at first Prevnar dose, did you finish the series, etc).

My LO is 5.5 months old and I've answered every cry he's ever made. Today I picked my mom up from the airport and since my husband is back at work I brought Lo with me. If he had napped as usual he would have been fine but he took a really short (45 minutes) first nap.

As expected he was tired and started crying just when we were getting my mom. I asked her to sit in back with him but he wouldn't have her. He smiled once and then started crying and very quickly meltdown mode. She was rubbing his feet and legs and head and trying to calm him but he screamed and screamed. I tried talking to him when he stopped briefly and that seemed to make him scream more. Finally after 15-20 minutes I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled off the freeway, asked my mom to drive. I went in the back and took him out of the car seat and held him for a minute which calmed him down, but I had to put him back of course so we could continue home. He started screaming again but with his head in one of my hands and hand in another, he finally stopped crying. He stared at me with glassy eyes and shaky cry breath and finally fell asleep. We are home now and he's sleeping on my chest in our chair, still shaky cry breathing.

This is the longest and hardest he's ever cried and it broke my heart. He doesn't understand why I wasn't going to him. I couldn't help but think when I finally went to the back seat and he stated at me it was an accusing stare.

I am afraid I've taught him he can't always trust me to be there 100% of the time anymore. I don't know how people can actually do cry it out. I still have tears in my eyes from this ...

My five month old did not breastfeed to sleep for the first 4.5 months of his life. At 3.5 months we started bed sharing because of sleep regression and it was the only way I got sleep. He'd feed probably 3-4 times in the night.

In the last week or so he's been waking up every 20-90 minutes needing to nurse to go back to sleep. Sometimes it's only three sucks and he's back out. But we're going up to 8-12 times a night now. And he's also started doing it with naps which are contact naps on my fully clothed chest. I think he's awoken from the nap, I turn on the light, remove his sleep sack, turn off the music, and then feed and he falls back asleep nursing. He'll then wake up and nurse back to sleep again 2-3 times for another hour or so. This may be as little as an hour after the last time he nursed so I don't think it's hunger, I think it's comfort.

Is this normal? Is the nap habit potentially giving him too much daytime sleep and leading to the night issues? Is it just developmental or potentially related to teething? Anyone else experience something similar? Did it eventually work itself out? When?

Note I do NOT want to sleep train or night wean so im interested in input from people who experienced something similar and let nature run it's course.

My baby is five months old and recently I started changing up our bedtime routine (we bedshare ). After bath and books, he can hang out in bed with me until he gets tired. He can cuddle, nurse, play with his feet or sheets. I don't try to get him to sleep, I just set the environment and let him fall asleep when he's tired - usually nursing.

At first it went great. He fell asleep no stress - no vacuum and walking vigorously and sweating for me followed by a careful lay down in bed and then stealth ninja entrance into the bed myself.

But things have been getting progressively worse the last few days. He just won't settle when nursing. He kicks and tries to climb me, pushes my boob, gets upset when he pushes himself too high and off the boob, pulls my nipple, and just overall messes around. But if I stop him nursing he just cries. He won't do anything else. Doesn't want to cuddle or just be next to me playing.

I thought perhaps the wake window was too long after last night so tonight I tried shortening it and it may have been too short. The result was the same both nights - I ended up holding him on my chest, patting his butt and rubbing his back, while he screamed. Tonight he went through three screaming fits like that. Didn't last long (maybe 1-2 minutes each time), but he was so upset. I've never let him cry like that and I know he was in my arms so it's different than CIO but ...

After the first big screaming fits he calmed down a bit and put his hand in my mouth and I played around pretending to eat it and he smiled ... Then 5 minutes later screaming again. I've heard sometimes they need to cry to release CNS stress before sleep. Not sure if that's what's happening here. He did finally calm down enough to nurse nicely and fell asleep in about 30 seconds after starting to nurse. Nipple still in his mouth and he's flutter sucking 20 minutes later...

He's only five months old but I'm trying to set patterns that are well established by time he understands cause and effect: nurse nicely, and once we are in bed we don't leave until morning. But it seems like the only way to do that is let him cry. I'm just not sure if I should keep on this or go back to the old way until he's older. I don't understand those magical babies that love cuddling or just go to sleep laying next to their parents. Am I doing something wrong? Recommendations?

My baby will be 5 months old in one week and I'm really struggling with hating motherhood. I'm getting so tired of people saying, how's motherhood? Don't you just love it?

I love my baby more than anything but I'm increasingly losing patience with him the older he gets. He smiles and laughs but he fusses and cries just as much if not more. I feel like I can never make him happy. He wants to be held all the time, but even that doesn't make him happy. I can't put him in the carrier and wear him around the house because he'll scream the entire time. He only likes being in his carrier when outside and that also has a time limit. Lately he's either suckling but not eating, or just pushing off the boob and screaming and coming back and pushing off and screaming and the cycle continues. He fights naps and sleep. He used to sleep in 3-4 hour stretches and now he wakes up every 30-60 minutes. Abd that's with bedsharing which is supposed to make it better. He will NOT nurse to sleep unless it's the middle of the night and the things that used to work to put him down no longer do. I can't put him down long enough to fill my water bottle or eat and God forbid I hold him in my lap while I eat because he hates that too.

I don't know what he likes or how to make him happy. Looking at pictures of him smiling or laughing or remembering positive times we have had used to help but don't anymore. I just want him to sleep for an hour straight so I can spend time with my husband or watch something or read or just be me.

And I know he's really not that bad compared to some babies which makes me feel even worse.

I feel like this is impacting my bond with him and I hate it. He was fighting his nap so hard today and when I was walking him around with the vacuum on I just started sobbing.

Telling myself he's not giving you a hard time he's having a hard time doesn't really help. Hearing that it gets better doesn't help. It's just getting worse, not better, the older he gets.

I'm taking an AP approach to raising my almost 5 month old but I think my husband is losing a bit of patience with this approach and TBH, I'm wondering a little bit. My LO will usually fuss or cry if I put him down for a moment to pee or fill my water or whatever. But lately I've noticed a difference in this cry vs true crying sometimes. It sounds more like a complaint and sometimes if I just wait for a minute or two he stops and starts to entertain himself - and then he'll start up again as soon as I enter the room again and he sees me. It's different from when he really cries and obviously needs me because something is not right inside for him.

I know the aren't supposed to have enough white matter in their brains for this and you can't spoil a baby, etc., but he has me wondering. My husband is worried we are teaching him to be impatient and self-centered by me always picking him up when he fusses and complains or not leaving him to lay in the center of the table with us right there fussing and crying while we eat (we have to eat) and that it'll be a much bigger problem later. I normally would disagree but lately I'm not so sure.

Another reason I'm doubting is because I started bed sharing when he started his 4 month sleep regression at 3 months (and still going). Before that he'd sleep in his bassinet all night and wake 2-3 times to eat. At first bedsharing went really well. Now he often wakes every 30-60 minutes and sometimes not even the boob will calm him back to sleep and I have to walk him around. It feels like he would just sleep eep better - or at least the same and then I at least wouldn't be getting kicked and hit - back in the bassinet or crib. I just feel like I'm creating new, annoying problems.

Thoughts?

I thought we were blessed with a great sleeper when at 6 weeks our baby decided to sleep in his bedside bassinet all night and only wake 2-3 times to feed. We were transitioning naps to the bassinet too, with the 1st of the day always in the bassinet and the second in process of transition.

Then he turned 3 months and it seemed like a sleep regression hit. He's false start 2-3 times per night (but then be normal after that) and all naps had to be contact naps. And he gradually started getting worse. He's kick and flail and wake himself up, sometimes every 30 minutes. I was so tired of halfway sleeping in his bassinet that one night I brought him in bed with me.

We slept great and I'd get 6-8 hours of sleep a night. He did start searching for the boob more often but I didn't care because he and I would both just fall back asleep.

Well, things seem to be getting worse AGAIN. He will be 5 months in a little over a week and he's had a couple of nights where he once again wakes up every 30-60 minutes and sucking on the boob doesn't help. He kicks, pushes himself up too high to get the nipple, or pulls off the nipple then cries, won't hold still for me to help him get the nipple, screams bloody murder if I try to get him my finger or a pacifier instead. Last night I actually had to just get out of bed multiple times and walk him back to sleep. And then when we got back to bed if my husband moved or made a noise he'd wake back up (this kid used to sleep through my husband's snores).

He is teething but gets Camillia before bed.

Just don't know what to do. Why is this getting worse? Is this normal? I will NOT be sleep training so please no suggestions on that. I just want insight/advice from anyone bedsharing who has experienced something similar.

I did try first nap in the bassinet today and just laid down next to him in bed, with my hand on his. He made it 30 minutes. I just don't get what's happening overnight, why it's getting worse, why he struggles so much to comfort nurse back to sleep, etc...

I want to show my baby the world and have him "fit in" to our lives but he really doesn't tolerate the carrier, stroller, etc. for very long. Plus this American culture of kids are a nuisance and you get dirty looks if they cry in public.

I struggle because I don't want to let him cry, but how different is it if his fundamental needs are met (food, clean diaper) and it's just that a) he's tired and won't/can't sleep (he no longer sleeps on the go) or b) he just doesn't want to be in the carrier anymore? For example, I went to a local 2 mile paved trail last week and had him in the carrier. He cried nonstop the last 10-15 minutes of the 40 minutes hike but there was nothing I could do but pat his butt and talk to him since we were, you know, on a hike?

I wonder if I integrate him more he'll just eventually stop fussing so much but right now I'm so afraid I'm doing him emotional damage if I let him cry (while held, I NEVER let him cry alone) that I'm hesitant to go out and do things. Like, I know he won't nap on the go anymore and when he gets tired he'll cry or have a complete meltdown and I don't want to deal with that if I'm out whale watching, at a restaurant, in a museum, etc.

He's 4 months old and at 3 months on the dot started becoming more impatient, fussy, etc. no longer sleeping on the go. I think he just is too interested in his surroundings and doesn't like being confined to a carrier, stroller, etc but at what point can you say "kid, you gotta suck it"?

I'm at my wits end with my poor baby. He's 4 months old in two days and despite everyone saying it gets easier at 3-4 months, I feel like it's getting worse for us. And this even though we are doing everything "right" in terms of responsive parenting.

He is actually a very smiley and giggly baby but also very hard to keep happy for any length of time. I wear him in the carrier to do chores or walk and he's happy for 10-15 minutes then starts fussing and trying to escape. I put him down he cries. I hold him while sitting in a chair and he fusses and cries. I hold him while standing in one spot and he fusses and cries. We set up a station for him to do tummy time or sit in his bouncer on the dining table so he can be with us while we eat and he lasts 5-10 minutes tops. It feels like no matter what we do we cannot make him happy for any length of time. And this thing about babies who spend time in carriers cry less? This one has had several meltdowns in the last month - like nuclear alarm level meltdowns - something he never had before.

Sleep is also getting worse, not better. He used to sleep all night in his attached bassinet. I'd take him out to eat of course but he'd go right back to sleep. We had settled into a rhythm where he would eat at 1:30 and 4:30am and sleep the rest of the time .

3 months on the dot he started false starting at night and only contact napping during the day. Figured this was the 4 month sleep regression early. Then he went from false starting to just not settling. His first feed moved from 1am to 10pm and I'd have to bring him in bed with me to sleep the rest of the night after that. Now even bed sharing doesn't work. He just won't settle. It takes 30 minutes to be able to lay him down in the bed without waking and then I'll often spend 1-2 hours trying to settle him because every 30 seconds to 5 minutes he'll kick and thrash his arms and wake up and cry.

I hate reading things that make it seem baby carrying and bed sharing are magical solutions because it's just getting worse and worse for us. Last night I was feeling like the only way he'd sleep is if my husband and I took turns holding and walking him around for 10 hours straight. That isn't sustainable.

I even tried the Possums approach and that backfired spectacularly because this baby will NOT just fall asleep no matter where we are or what we are doing if the sleep pressure is high enough. Instead, he has a breakdown. Case in point: we accompanied my husband to get his tattoo and before heading home I fed him in the truck. He fell asleep eating but of course woke up as soon as i put him in the car seat. He went from happy to fussy to full on nuclear alarm, and only passed out in my arms once we got home. I tried the approach for two days and had a baby that no longer smiled until one day he fell asleep at 4:45pm and instead of waking him or limiting him I let him sleep and other than waking for feeds he slept until 7am the next day.

What are we doing wrong? Why does all the research not apply to our baby? How much worse is this going to get?