u/Barnacle_Double

I’m currently living in the beautiful & crazy trenches of 2 under 2. I have a 3 month old & a 20 month old. When my eldest was born, I (financially) had to return to my job after mat leave (6months pp) & it pretty much broke me. I didn’t expect motherhood to hit me like a freight train and love it so much. I would have done anything to not return to work & stay home with her. Now with baby #2, I finally have the option to choose.

Mind you, I have a masters degree, and currently work in a very “fancy/fun/competitive” career that makes great $. However, it’s demanding, high stress & not flexible. It’s marketing so it’s nearly impossible to find part time/contract work at the same or similar $ they pay me.

We had a surprise baby #2 so I’m currently on mat leave again & we have been planning to make big lifestyle changes so I can stay home with them.

Now that i have the option to quit, I’m a little scared. My identity has always been my career. I’m sort of scared to step out of the workforce & make these lifestyle changes. I love and want every moment with my kids but also it’s so intense right now with them so little, every single day is so hard & exhausting but I also can’t imagine working 40-50 hr weeks away from my kids either though. This decision feels big right now.

I guess I’m venting but also looking for perspectives. If you resonate with any of this, can you share your POV?

My baby sleeps pretty well in his bedside bassinett (baby bay so it’s a co-sleeper crib attached to bed). I sometimes chest sleep. I am exclusively breastfeeding and nap in safe sleep seven with him sometimes and love it. I do find tho that I’m intimidated by the darkness of nighttime when I can’t see him super well with him next to me. I’m nervous even though I’m a light sleeper.

We have a king sleep number bed and I have mine set to 100 firmness (highest it goes). It still feels soft to me, am I paranoid? How soft is too soft? He does kind of roll into me a little bit

My toddler is 21 months, baby is 2 months. I’m on mat leave until baby is 6 months old and it’s been so special. There is so much good and so much I love about being a mom so this is not a negative post. I’m just wondering when people felt it started to get “easier”? Like when did you feel they started playing together? My toddlers temperament is really lovely. She is able to entertain herself a lot and listens really well for her age. But I still feel very stretched thin every day. They both need me pretty much constantly and really only want me. I will take any encouragement :)

I just had my second baby 3 weeks ago. Nursing has gone really well until a few days ago he has been whimpering / crying at breast, clearly gulping and overwhelmed to the point where I can’t calm him down. I’ve tried everything - laid back position, letting letdown go into collector or cloth etc - I don’t think it’s just my letdown, I think it’s the entire feed it’s too much because baby struggles through the whole thing. I have not pumped since I know it’s a supply / demand thing. Have been block feeding since day one as recommended by hospital lactation consultant since this type of thing happened with my firstborn.

So yes - This is not an isolated event. Similarly this happened with my firstborn and she actually refused to nurse at one point. It was super emotional for me because I was fighting for it so much and wanted my body to be a place of comfort to my baby but having her cry and push away was very sad and hard mentally. I was able to get to one year nursing her but it was pretty much hard the whole time.

I really wanted this to be a redemptive experience but it’s looking familiar. Does anyone have advice? Is this super linked to oversupply? Do I just accept it and pump as much as I can to keep boobs as empty as possible so I can comfortably feed baby and build a freezer stash to aim to be done BFing sooner? I really wanted to feed him for a year whether pumped bottles or nursing.

Help please

Sister is Amelia, we hope to have 2 more kids after this. Mom and dad both have pretty unique names. Last name is Thompson, middle name will be David - passed down from dad.

___ David Thompson

Options:
- Archie David thompson (think it’s cute with Amelia)

- John David Thompson (moms dads name is John, he had no sons and no one carrying on his last name. Would mean a lot & we do like it, however, we know it’s very simple)

- Theodore “teddy” David Thompson (teddy thompson is cute)

- Luca David Thompson (husband on the fence but we both do like this one)

We have an Amelia, mom and dad have unique names. Thompson is last name :) would love some help!

Our current front runners are:
- John (named after my dad, would mean so much to him) we like nickname Johnny
- Otto or Ozzy (we like the fun, lighthearted, cool kid flare of these
- Luca (I like this one, my husband thinks it’s a little too European but doesn’t hate it)

We live in US, Italian, German, Swedish roots. We love hockey, and need some help. We also really like Rocky for a while but can’t use it bc it sounds too close to my husbands name….

Thank you!

I have a 1.5 year old and expecting #2 soon. I work full time in office corporate america job. I like my team a lot, the job is OK, i definitely did work hard to get here (work in marketing). It;s been an incredibly hard year - I don't like being a working mom. Sure, there are good things, i feel more "me" and the money is great, but i crave to slow down and be with my babies more during there young years. My current role requires I work in office full time 9-5, but also must take a lot of international meetings - early mornings and late nights at high intensity that make it really hard on my family and mental health. I honestly just love being with my baby and just see work as a paycheck right now. I have highly considered trying to make it work to stay home for a season and take a break from work to recover but i also am not sure if that's a good answer to this.

I would love to find something more part time or contract but those roles are impossible to find in my industry. I'm going to try over my mat leave but i'm doubtful. ANy advice/ POV?

Thanks all.

Genuinely, my husband is an amazing guy. My best friend, he says all the time that he wants me to be happy and healthy. I’ve struggled through the past year - it’s been 1 year since I had to return to my corporate in office job - daughter in daycare. I subscribe to attachment parenting style, it nearly broke me leaving my daughter in daycare (even though I knew she would be ok) I desperately wanted/want to stay home with her. Like a deep calling. We couldn’t financially swing it.

Fast forward, I’m now expecting baby 2 next month. Going to take my 6 month mat leave, and then am very seriously considering taking a career break to be home with both kids for a little while.

My husband respects me, he loves me, he gets me. But Ive always been a high achieving career woman. He probably doesn’t recognize me anymore, hell… I hardly recognize me anymore. Motherhood has changed me so much it scares me sometimes. Me quitting would be a big financial change for us (doable since our rent is up and we could move to a less expensive place but less comfy for sure) and it does put the pressure on him to provide for the first time really in our marriage. I want him to respect the work of me being a mom and not see this as a selfish decision to step away from contributing financially. Curious for those of you who stepped away from big careers how you navigated these convos with your partner? How did you explain this decision?

I am also scared because we have previously outsourced food, cleaning etc so it would be a learning curve for me to take on those things and manage a budget with two small kids. Sounds super freaking hard but I do think it would be a good thing for me and our family. Part of it does really excite me to think about taking that on.

I'm about to have 2 under 2. I work full time (in office) corporate beauty marketing role that I generally.... like... with a team (that is comprised of all women who are moms with older kids). I love the people I work with but the work is insane - weird hours, intense, my role changed so besides the glamor of working in a cool industry, it's not super fun. I joined this sub because I'm highly considering trying to stay home once i have my son in June.

I have some fears though and looking for advice. I'm worried that I'm cut out for SAHM life. I have mad respect for moms who do this. It's a massive sacrifice of self and overstimulating and probably lonely sometimes. Also shouldering all of the responsibility of your Childs development - potty training, eating, sleeping etc - it requires so much patience. However, I miss my daughter TERRIBLY when I'm at work and know that i will not be ready to send my son to daycare when he is so little & i am still nursing him. I would love a hybrid option - part time work or something but that doesn't really exist in my field at a salary that would make sense. It would also be a massive financial sacrifice for our family and lifestyle.

I'm wondering for women here who made this jump, would you do it again hindsight 20/20? How did you make this decision? How did you know it was right?