u/Bermuda_Breeze

I know I can feel sexual and romantic attraction, and enjoy it. So I’m not content living as a single person for the rest of my life, and identifying as an asexual doesn’t feel accurate. But equally I feel attraction so infrequently that so far, luck has never been on my side for it to be reciprocated. I’m starting to think it will be an impossibility to ever find someone that I both like and they like me. If I were more heterosexual I think I would have more options. And if I were asexual I wouldn’t be as bothered wanting to meet a partner. So I feel caught in the middle. Does anyone else relate or have found a solution to this quandary?

Edit to add: I’m 40F. Old enough to feel my biological clock ticking, and to know I don’t want to spend the second half of my life alone.

I am not asking for medical advice.

After being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia, there was never a doubt in my mind that I would reject treatment or declare I was following a natural healing route, so there was never cause for my oncologist to threaten “you are x time away from death if you don’t agree to treatment”. However it seems lots of other patients were told how close to death they were.

So now I’m wondering, how close to death would you have said I was upon admission to my treatment centre with: blasts at 68% (increased from 53% 2 weeks previously) with NPM1 and DNMT3A mutations, WBC 8.56, Hgb 8.0 (down from 9.0 3 weeks previously), platelets 189, neutrophils 0.67. Organ functions were all good and no infections.

Thanks!

(I’m posting here rather than a general infertility page in case there’s anything unique about us after a stem cell transplant, eg GvHD flaring up?)

If you’ve got pregnant through IVF/donor egg after going into premature menopause with treatment, please could you tell me the process? Does a history of stem cell transplant complicate things at all?

Thank you!

I rarely feel sexual attraction towards someone and it’s making me feel unlovable. I believe I am nice enough and can give love, it just hasn’t happened. I’m desperate to feel loved (beyond by my parents or my cat) and for a committed relationship. I’m 40F and so far the two people I’ve felt attraction to have been unavailable (one turned out to be gay, the other quickly put me in the friend zone). I still want to have a family and I feel like I’m running out of time. I’m not in a financial position or have enough support to go-it-alone with motherhood.

Any advice? Thanks!

I’d like to honour the name Marlise, but not use it exactly. I’ve thought of Marilisa, Marlissa, Maralise. What are some other possibilities? I’m open to tangential ideas too!

Species: cat

Age: 14yo

Sex/Neuter status: Female, neutered

Breed: Domestic shorthair

Body weight: 5.5kg

Duration: 2 months

History: Episodic wobbly/dizziness especially when anticipating food. Wobbliness and appetite improved short term with Cerenia. Now taking steroids, but couldn’t tolerate prescribed dose.

Clinical signs: Episodic wobbly/dizziness lasting a few seconds, a few times a day. Bloodwork and ear swabs have not shown anything wrong.

Your general location: Bermuda

My 14yo cat keeps having wobbly episodes (a few a day), only a few seconds long, started in the past couple of months. They often seem to be triggered by anticipating food - sometimes she nearly faceplants in her food. But they also happen other times.

Bloodwork including blood sugar and a bunch to check her heart came back “faultless”. Ear swabs didn’t show anything. She was off her food for a little and was given a course of Cerenia which helped - both appetite and wobbliness. But too expensive to use long term (maybe not indicated for long term use anyway). Since then her appetite has stayed good but wobbliness has returned.

Our vet is at a loss to explain her symptoms or what to do about it. She has prescribed steroids in case it’s a brain tumour. She was meant to be on a high dose initially and then taper off to a low maintenance dose. But the first steroid made her really wobbly and restless. We’re trying a 1/4dose now but not sure if it’s making a difference.

Anyway, does any of this sound familiar?

I am not asking for medical advice.

What sort of phrasing or language do doctors use to break the news that there are no more treatment options and the only thing left is comfort care?

Since having a stem cell transplant for acute myeloid leukaemia I barely feel hungry. I don’t think it’s specific to my treatment or cancer, I think it’s just the result of have a ton of chemicals and disruption in my body.

I get symptoms of hunger except I don’t notice them til it’s pointed out, like making mistakes in my work or my speech getting fast and slurred. I will eventually feel hunger, but that would lead to eating twice a day at best. I do feel thirst regularly, so it’s not that all drives are blunted.
The oncology dietician gave me advice for boosting calories which helped to some extent (except I now have high cholesterol, I’m sure from all the whole milk I drank!).

But I haven’t received any advice for actually boosting my hunger drive so I naturally want food at the frequency/amount my body needs it. At the moment it feels like I’m uncomfortably stuffing myself or making myself fat for no reason. Any ideas? Thanks!

My vaccine schedule ends at 24 months with my first MMR vaccine (at Dana-Farber in Boston USA). That surprised me that it seems only 1 MMR shot is planned, with no booster. What are others’ vaccine schedules like for MMR specifically?

(I’m asking here as this doesn’t seem worth bothering my team about right now while I’m at 19 months, and I’m interested in what gets done as standard elsewhere.)

I am on a one year contract that has a six month probationary period. Initially I was told I would be able to apply for a permanent position if a vacancy arises. It looks like there will be one coming up in the next month or so. I asked when it will be advertised because I am keen to apply. HR have now told me that I can’t apply til I finish my probation. Is that normal? It’s an entry level position and I’m the only person in my role on a temporary contract, so I would only be competing with newcomers to the company. It feels frustrating that if it is advertised too soon and the timing isn’t right then I won’t be able to apply. I’d have to break my contract/quit my job and then apply. Which obviously wouldn’t look good in the eyes of HR!

2 years ago today I started chemo to successful whack AML into remission. At the time I remember feeling some trepidation, but mostly I was pleased to be getting started and be a step closer to the finish line. It’s definitely been a weird journey - I feel too lucky to call it bad - and it feels surreal to be more or less better, and back on track to where I’d left off just before diagnosis.

That’s all got me thinking though - when did the ticker start for considering myself “cured”? I’ve been variously told that’s after 2 years or 5 years (or never or or, as one NP told me: Shhhhhhhhhhh hex upon thyself never utter that word!). Does the countdown start from when I was declared in “remission” ie soon after induction? Or when I finished treatment - my allo stem cell transplant? Or when my results came back showing MRD negativity, at 92 days post-SCT?

How deep in over our heads would myself and two others + casual labour as needed be in taking on this project to grow c.30,000 plants in mainly 1 and 3 gallon pots + some bigger 7 and 10 gallons, and 450 plants in 25 and 45 gallons, project time approx 2.5 years with plants to be ready planted over a 9 month period?

Growing & standing areas adjacent to the construction site. In a subtropical climate - plant growth slows down in winter but continues year round. July & August would be too hot to do much propagating. All would be from cuttings from the owner’s other property, except we’d buy 10% of the plants that propagate by division and multiply them out, and we’d buy smaller stock of the 10, 25 and 45 gallon plants and grow them on.

We have experience in small scale commercial seedling production and hobby propagation. But not commercial scale landscaping plants.

Beyond the obvious things we can think of, what else are we missing taking into account when trying to work out a budget/quote? stock plants (for plants propagated by division and to be upsized into 10, 25 and 45 gallons), potting media, pots, fertilizer & injector, pesticides, sprayers, PPE, water & hoses, forklift trolleys, wheelbarrows, spades, misting house, secure storage and compound security, electricity for lights and heating mat, shipping & handling on supplies, wages…

Thank you for any tips, advice, or is this something that will be a money pit of headaches to take on?

I thought I was doing well for boosting my diet with whole milk, cheese, eggs etc during recovery from AML. But now my LDL is high and my doctor is wondering if I should start statins.

Do you have ideas for boosting protein and calories without affecting cholesterol? I’m thinking I should add adding olive oil wherever I can. What else?

She says she has perfect hearing. But she doesn’t! Eg It forever leads to arguments as she blames others for not speaking clearly or having a strong accent. She doesn’t hear stove timers or her phone pinging unless she’s standing right besides them. She says of course she doesn’t hear them when she’s a room away (never mind my dad or I have to tell her they’re pinging when we’re three rooms away.

Do we have to live with constant arguments (she’s insistent it’s never “her fault” she didn’t hear something) or is there a way to persuade her to get her hearing tested, and the further step of her actually wearing hearing aids?

I’m trying to imagine a pattern that looks like a skirt the whole way round but has pants underneath. Does such a thing exist? What words/sort of pattern should I be searching for?

Thanks!

I don’t know where else to share the laugh so posting here…I just turned 40(F) and the algorithms are going all out pushing me perimenopause things. Lol that ship long sailed. AI still has some work to do to keep up with the life of an AML and SCT survivor!