u/Better-Inspector3849

I met a guy in March and I'm having second thoughts about how I handled things.

Before we met, we texted for several days, had video calls, and played CoD together. We got along really well and I felt like we were aligned on quite a few things. Eventually we met in person for food, and I was supposed to stay at his house that night.

But when I was actually with him, something felt different. We were lying in bed watching TV and I remember feeling bored and getting this sort of "ick." I didn't feel that spark or excitement I was expecting, and I ended up leaving early rather than staying the night. He later messaged me on WhatsApp asking why I'd left/why I'd decided not to pursue things. I told him there wasn't anything specifically wrong; I just didn't feel the right chemistry. He blocked me afterwards.

Now it's August, so this happened about five months ago, and I've unexpectedly started thinking about him again.

Part of me is wondering whether I made a mistake. We genuinely had a lot of alignment, enjoyed talking to each other, and had fun together. Maybe I expected too much of an immediate spark and didn't give attraction enough time to develop. Maybe if I'd stayed and continued seeing him, something could have grown. But another part of me thinks: I was there. I experienced him in person. I felt bored, uncomfortable and wanted to leave. That's pretty significant too.

I've had something similar happen before. I once had a sort of euphoric recall about another guy, convinced there must have been something special there, and when I eventually reconnected with him and had sex, I realised what I'd actually wanted was the sexual chemistry rather than a relationship. I'm worried I could be doing something similar again, but this time it feels different because I think there really was more compatibility and alignment with this guy.

I've also been single for almost four years now, and it's been about two years since I last saw my ex. I'm still recovering emotionally from that relationship, although I'm much better than I used to be. I do feel lonely sometimes, and I know that could be influencing how I'm remembering people. The thing I'm struggling with most is that I have this stubborn need to know for sure whether I made the right decision. I keep thinking, "What if I walked away from someone who could actually have been really good for me?"

But I also don't want to contact him again just because I'm lonely or because I can't tolerate an unanswered question, only to reconnect and hurt/disappoint him all over again. He has blocked me on WhatsApp, although I technically could send him a normal SMS. I'm not going to do that impulsively, but I'm genuinely torn about whether I should ever reach out.

When I first had a relationship at 18 I had so much chemistry and sparks at the time, particularly in the beginning, and this relationship lasted 6 years. He was extremely narcissistic though and I know that my nervous system may be looking for that same high that was never real.

Has anyone experienced this? How do you tell the difference between genuinely regretting walking away from someone and simply romanticising them because you're lonely or because the situation was left unresolved?

I recently applied for a NatWest balance transfer credit card because I worked out I'd save around £850 in interest compared to keeping the debt on my Santander card. It seemed like a no-brainer.

The problem started when I tried to complete the online ID verification through Mitek. No matter what I did, it wouldn't accept my passport or driving licence. Every attempt failed with a different reason such as "too blurry" or "too much glare." I spent ages adjusting lighting, backgrounds, and camera angles, but nothing worked. Eventually, I was told I had made too many attempts and could not try again.

I then received an email from NatWest saying they couldn't open the account because the ID verification had not been completed in time.

At this point, however, the £2,000 balance transfer had already left my Santander account and I had already received the NatWest credit card in the post.

I called NatWest and explained the situation. The person I spoke to was very helpful and told me I could visit a branch with my ID to verify myself there instead.

When I visited my local branch, the experience was completely different. I brought my passport, driving licence, proof of address, the credit card itself, and letters addressed to me. The staff member seemed suspicious from the start and kept insisting that if my passport was in date, the online verification should have worked. I explained several times that the issue wasn't my passport; it was the Mitek verification system. Eventually, I was simply told that I would need to apply again and was sent away.

What confuses me is that I already paid the balance transfer fee and the £2,000 has already been transferred. If I apply again, what exactly am I applying for? A new card? Another balance transfer? There's nothing to transfer. The balance has already moved. I'd also rather avoid another credit search and another fee.

To make things even stranger, when I called NatWest again afterwards, the person on the phone couldn't locate the account using either the account number or the card number.

I ended the call by saying that, from my perspective, £2,000 of debt appears to have disappeared into thin air and nobody seems able to find it. I've done everything NatWest has asked me to do, so now I'm waiting to hear back from them.

My question is: what happens to the £2,000 balance transfer in a situation like this? Has anyone experienced something similar?

I recently applied for a NatWest balance transfer credit card because I worked out I'd save around £850 in interest compared to keeping the debt on my Santander card. It seemed like a no-brainer.

The problem started when I tried to complete the online ID verification through Mitek. No matter what I did, it wouldn't accept my passport or driving licence. Every attempt failed with a different reason such as "too blurry" or "too much glare." I spent ages adjusting lighting, backgrounds, and camera angles, but nothing worked. Eventually, I was told I had made too many attempts and could not try again.

I then received an email from NatWest saying they couldn't open the account because the ID verification had not been completed in time.

At this point, however, the £2,000 balance transfer had already left my Santander account and I had already received the NatWest credit card in the post.

I called NatWest and explained the situation. The person I spoke to was very helpful and told me I could visit a branch with my ID to verify myself there instead.

When I visited my local branch, the experience was completely different. I brought my passport, driving licence, proof of address, the credit card itself, and letters addressed to me. The staff member seemed suspicious from the start and kept insisting that if my passport was in date, the online verification should have worked. I explained several times that the issue wasn't my passport; it was the Mitek verification system. Eventually, I was simply told that I would need to apply again and was sent away.

What confuses me is that I already paid the balance transfer fee and the £2,000 has already been transferred. If I apply again, what exactly am I applying for? A new card? Another balance transfer? There's nothing to transfer. The balance has already moved. I'd also rather avoid another credit search and another fee.

To make things even stranger, when I called NatWest again afterwards, the person on the phone couldn't locate the account using either the account number or the card number.

I ended the call by saying that, from my perspective, £2,000 of debt appears to have disappeared into thin air and nobody seems able to find it. I've done everything NatWest has asked me to do, so now I'm waiting to hear back from them.

My question is: what happens to the £2,000 balance transfer in a situation like this? Has anyone experienced something similar?

I recently applied for a NatWest balance transfer credit card because I worked out I'd save around £850 in interest compared to keeping the debt on my Santander card. It seemed like a no-brainer.

The problem started when I tried to complete the online ID verification through Mitek. No matter what I did, it wouldn't accept my passport or driving licence. Every attempt failed with a different reason such as "too blurry" or "too much glare." I spent ages adjusting lighting, backgrounds, and camera angles, but nothing worked. Eventually, I was told I had made too many attempts and could not try again.

I then received an email from NatWest saying they couldn't open the account because the ID verification had not been completed in time.

At this point, however, the £2,000 balance transfer had already left my Santander account and I had already received the NatWest credit card in the post.

I called NatWest and explained the situation. The person I spoke to was very helpful and told me I could visit a branch with my ID to verify myself there instead.

When I visited my local branch, the experience was completely different. I brought my passport, driving licence, proof of address, the credit card itself, and letters addressed to me. The staff member seemed suspicious from the start and kept insisting that if my passport was in date, the online verification should have worked. I explained several times that the issue wasn't my passport; it was the Mitek verification system. Eventually, I was simply told that I would need to apply again and was sent away.

What confuses me is that I already paid the balance transfer fee and the £2,000 has already been transferred. If I apply again, what exactly am I applying for? A new card? Another balance transfer? There's nothing to transfer. The balance has already moved. I'd also rather avoid another credit search and another fee.

To make things even stranger, when I called NatWest again afterwards, the person on the phone couldn't locate the account using either the account number or the card number.

I ended the call by saying that, from my perspective, £2,000 of debt appears to have disappeared into thin air and nobody seems able to find it. I've done everything NatWest has asked me to do, so now I'm waiting to hear back from them.

My question is: what happens to the £2,000 balance transfer in a situation like this? Has anyone experienced something similar?

I was walking through the gardens the other evening and I heard two lads, I assume BU students, speaking loudly.

One says: "That kid must have been on something, did you see that?"

Other guy: "Yeah what do you expect in Bournemouth with some ratty kids. It's Bournemouth so they've probably got ratty parents as well"

I know, not much to go off from such a brief conversation with two young lads, but it did make me wonder... What kind of reputation does Bournemouth have? Are we known as the sh*thole of the South?

I had an abnormal heart rhythm appear for 30 seconds on an ECG in 2022, which resulted in me being classed as medically unfit unless I appealed. At the time, I underwent additional cardiac tests that ruled out any arrhythmia and confirmed that my heart was healthy, but that evidence from the time wasn't considered sufficient.

Since then, I've spent around £1,500 on further tests and specialist reports, which I submitted in February. Three weeks later, I received a response requesting the original ECG strip from 2022 so their own cardiologist could rule out a dangerous arrhythmia. I contacted the secretary of the cardiologist who carried out the original investigations, and they sent the requested documentation directly to RAF Cranwell on 9 March.

It's now been over three months since then and I haven't heard anything further. Would it be reasonable to send a letter or email requesting an update on the progress of my appeal?

I've noticed a pattern when chatting with older guys on Grindr. They'll send photos, talk about wanting to meet, and seem genuinely interested, but when it comes to actually making plans, nothing ever happens.

I've noticed it particularly with very attractive guys. They'll keep the conversation going and give every indication that they're keen, yet never take any concrete steps to meet.

My impression is that they're not actually interested but don't want to be direct about it. Instead of saying they're not feeling it or simply ending the conversation, they keep chatting and leave things hanging. Has anyone else experienced this, or am I reading too much into it?

I recently started doing 1-to-1 MMA sessions with a local instructor. At first they were great, but over time I found myself dreading them—not because the training was difficult, but because I felt like I had to be mentally "switched on" for the conversation as well.

Between rounds, I started feeling pressure to be interesting, relatable, and engaged in whatever we were talking about. The thing is, I'd often been up since 6am, finished work at 3pm, and then gone straight to the session. By that point I was already pretty drained.

I got the impression he thought I was a bit of an oddball based on a couple of harmless jokes he said, and I started wondering if he was frustrated that we didn't have much in common or that I wasn't always in the mood to chat. I appreciate a bit of conversation, and I understand he was probably trying to build rapport so I'd enjoy the sessions more, but eventually it started to feel like another social performance on top of the training.

I've decided he's probably not the right fit for me.

Just to be clear, I'm generally a very social person. My job requires me to be charismatic and talkative all day, so it's not a case of being socially anxious or introverted. I think I just wanted a space where I could focus on training without feeling responsible for carrying a conversation.

Anyway, this is partly a vent, but I'm curious: has anyone else experienced something similar with a coach, trainer, or instructor?