I deleted mine a while ago because the quality of matches wasn’t great. Felt like I’d get the worst guys on there (even if they were attractive they were more douchey), but Hinge has honestly not been amazing for me recently either, so I’m considering going back, but not sure if that’s just the devil on my shoulder talking and it’s not worth it…
Late 20s girly here. My forehead lines are ever-so-slightly deepening and I'm starting to get smile lines (both are becoming static wrinkles). I've been using The Ordinary's 2.0% Granactive Retinoid Emulsion, and while it makes my skin look nice, it doesn't seem to be preventing these wrinkles from deepening. I wanna go back to my skin 8 months ago, lol. Maybe this isn't possible -- but I'm curious if a more powerful OTC retinoid/retinol product has been doing wonders for anyone. Maybe not ready for prescription Tretinoin yet.
Thank you!
Late 20s girly here. My forehead lines are ever-so-slightly deepening and I'm starting to get smile lines (both are static wrinkles). I've been using The Ordinary's 2.0% Granactive Retinoid Emulsion, and while it makes my skin look nice, it doesn't seem to be preventing these wrinkles from deepening. I wanna go back to my skin 8 months ago, lol. Maybe this isn't possible -- but I'm curious if a more powerful OTC retinoid/retinol product has been doing wonders for anyone. Thank you!
Edit: to clarify, these are not prominent deep wrinkles. I’ve had faint forehead lines since forever, they were just never noticeable unless you looked very closely, but in certain lights I notice them more now. The smile lines are very faint when I haven’t used those muscles for a few minutes, but deepen and remain for a bit longer when I do contract them (in the morning after brushing my teeth for example). I’m just noticing the beginning stages of them becoming static. And unfortunately my nasolabial folds I think are the most aging because of fat loss and loss of elasticity.
I get by in life and never suffered from suicidality, extreme panic, etc. My symptoms are mostly rumination, negative thoughts/mood, feeling low, occasional brain zaps (yes! they started for me some years ago during a very difficult period of my life). I also get morning depression (wake up immediately thinking I’m failing at life). Worsening symptoms during PMS. Sometimes the morning depression disappears, then picks up again. I have this kind of in and out experience of depression (was diagnosed with dysthymia in the past). I meditate, sleep pretty well, exercise regularly but clearly something isn’t quite right, especially because I struggle to enjoy hobbies, music, etc quite like I used to. I do wonder if that’s just the modern day issue of dopamine overload? Idk.
I think a huge part of this is my life circumstances — I’m very unhappy with my job (dead end, no passion for it, not appreciated, dont get to use my skills), don’t have a partner, don’t have many friends or regular nurturing interactions, my entire family is kind of broken up all over the world, I’m not close with my siblings etc.
This might just be my personality too but I cannot keep my apartment clean to save my goddamn life lol. But I feel like the difficulty in motivating myself to clean up might be depression a little bit. I’ve struggled for a long time but it’s always been lowgrade stuff. Anxiety was a much bigger issue for me usually.
I’m ALWAYS at a crossroads of “I should just keep trying to upgrade my life” and make changes until I’m better and “I need to get real help and take medicine”. And I always choose the former.
I’m a lot better than I was a year ago. Two years ago. Three years ago. (Went through a very dark period). But there is still difficulty. Most days are meh/okay/I manage. But motivation is a struggle. I recently dated a guy and the connection made me less depressed and life made so much more sense again and I started being interested in things again but I stopped dating him and now I feel like nothing makes sense again.
These drugs do scare me. A lot!! Like fuckkkk no to PSSD, memory issues, wtf…I do not want that shit. My libido is very precious to me!!! So….I was wondering if there are any dysthymia people here whose depression was never “that bad” who either chose to take it OR decided they could cope on their own.
I get by in life and never suffered from suicidality, extreme panic, etc. My symptoms are mostly rumination, negative thoughts/mood, feeling low, occasional brain zaps (yes! they started for me some years ago during a very difficult period of my life). I also get morning depression (wake up immediately thinking I’m failing at life). Worsening symptoms during PMS. Sometimes the morning depression disappears, then picks up again. I have this kind of in and out experience of depression (was diagnosed with dysthymia in the past). I meditate, sleep pretty well, exercise regularly but clearly something isn’t quite right, especially because I struggle to enjoy hobbies, music, etc quite like I used to. I do wonder if that’s just the modern day issue of dopamine overload? Idk.
I think a huge part of this is my life circumstances — I’m very unhappy with my job (dead end, no passion for it, not appreciated, dont get to use my skills), don’t have a partner, don’t have many friends or regular nurturing interactions, my entire family is kind of broken up all over the world, I’m not close with my siblings etc.
This might just be my personality too but I cannot keep my apartment clean to save my goddamn life lol. But I feel like the difficulty in motivating myself to clean up might be depression a little bit. I’ve struggled for a long time but it’s always been lowgrade stuff. Anxiety was a much bigger issue for me usually.
I’m ALWAYS at a crossroads of “I should just keep trying to upgrade my life” and make changes until I’m better and “I need to get real help and take medicine”. And I always choose the former.
I’m a lot better than I was a year ago. Two years ago. Three years ago. (Went through a very dark period). But there is still difficulty. Most days are meh/okay/I manage. But motivation is a struggle. I recently dated a guy and the connection made me less depressed and life made so much more sense again and I started being interested in things again but I stopped dating him and now I feel like nothing makes sense again.
These drugs do scare me. A lot!! Like fuckkkk no to PSSD, memory issues, wtf…I do not want that shit. My libido is very precious to me!!! So….I was wondering if there are any dysthymia people here whose depression was never “that bad” who either chose to take it OR decided they could cope on their own. I guess I won’t find many people here who handled their dysthymia on their own but if there are any PLEASE speak up!!! Or tell me about a sub where I can find them. Thank you!!
Hey guys, I don’t know if what I’m facing is a fear of intimacy/avoidant attachment issues. I really need support right now. I know it’s Reddit and I’m gonna expect the worse but please, please, please be nice.
So I met this guy and asked him out. Wasn’t super attracted or anything but liked his vibe. We went on a date and I felt conflicted at the end of it and almost ended things but someone advised I give it one more date, so I did. Then I went on another date…and another…
Some of these have lasted for many hours. So I enjoy his company. On several of the dates I walked away feeling like things weren’t lining up emotionally. I enjoyed them, we had quite a few common interests, he makes me laugh, but emotionally I just didn’t feel like I was invested. He’s not my usual type, physically or personality wise, but I liked him. I started to get excited about spending time with him. Still am.
As far as attraction, this is where I’m really conflicted. Sometimes standing next to him I feel attracted. On a few occasions where he’s hugged me I felt attracted to him. Sometimes when he’s making a joke or makes a certain facial expression I think: yeah, definitely attracted to him. But then other times when he’d make physical contact I didn’t want, I shied away. It felt awkward/wrong. Also, on our last date, I was sitting across from him and looking at him and thinking, “Nope, not attracted to him. Kind of the opposite. Not doing it for me.”
I’m really anxious about our potential incompatibles were we to enter a relationship, and closing off my other options even though we’ve only been on a few dates. He seems more invested in me emotionally right now. He’s been really sweet and nothing but a gentleman.
I’ve never been in a relationship and definitely have a history of liking unavailable, unhealthy guys. Help. How do I know if I’m just intuitively not lining up with him on values/attraction or if I’m avoiding something real?
I also just feel so alone right now, especially with these feelings. I feel like a person shouldn’t feel like this about someone they’re dating. Shouldn’t I be over the moon? Super attracted and infatuated? Shouldn’t I be lusting over him a lot more? Fantasizing about our future together? Instead of afraid of it? I think *he* feels some of that. Maybe I’m seeing the wrong guy if I’m not feeling the same.
Hey guys, I don’t know if what I’m facing is a fear of intimacy/avoidant attachment issues but I figured this is probably a supportive sub and I really need support right now. I know it’s Reddit but please, please, please be nice.
So I met this guy and asked him out. Wasn’t super attracted or anything but liked his vibe. We went on a date and I felt conflicted at the end of it and almost ended things but someone advised I give it one more date, so I did. Then I went on another date…and another…
Some of these have lasted for many hours. So I enjoy his company. On several of the dates I walked away feeling like things weren’t lining up emotionally. I enjoyed them, we had quite a few common interests, he makes me laugh, but emotionally I just didn’t feel like I was invested. He’s not my usual type, physically or personality wise, but I liked him. I started to get excited about spending time with him. Still am.
As far as attraction, this is where I’m really conflicted. Sometimes standing next to him I feel attracted. On a few occasions where he’s hugged me I felt attracted to him. Sometimes when he’s making a joke or makes a certain facial expression I think: yeah, definitely attracted to him. But then other times when he’d make physical contact I didn’t want, I shied away. It felt awkward/wrong. Also, on our last date, I was sitting across from him and looking at him and thinking, “Nope, not attracted to him. Kind of the opposite. Not doing it for me.”
I’m really anxious about our potential incompatibles were we to enter a relationship, and closing off my other options even though we’ve only been on a few dates. He seems more invested in me emotionally right now. He’s been really sweet and nothing but a gentleman.
I’ve never been in a relationship and definitely have a history of liking unavailable, unhealthy guys. Help. How do I know if I’m just intuitively not lining up with him on values/attraction or if I’m avoiding something real?
I also just feel so alone right now, especially with these feelings. I feel like a person shouldn’t feel like this about someone they’re dating. Shouldn’t I be over the moon? Super attracted and infatuated? Shouldn’t I be lusting over him a lot more? Fantasizing about our future together? Instead of afraid of it? I think *he* feels some of that. Maybe I’m seeing the wrong guy if I’m not feeling the same.
I think I need medication for my anxiety and depression. SSRIs are probably the answer for me to at least try, but I’m going to be honest, I don’t think I can take them. I want to, to see if they will improve my life and alleviate my suffering. But reading about PSSD has scared me away. Until a solution for the poor people with that condition has been found, I don’t know if it’s worth the risk. There is nothing more horrifying to me than the idea of my genital area becoming numb or my emotions being blunted. If I knew for sure they were safe I’d take them. So what’s the alternative?
I hope this makes sense. It could be anything. Maybe you were into guys on yachts and then you realized some of them were vapid, maybe you were drawn to the "funny" type but then realized it was the arrogant type of funny, maybe you were into "alt indie" guys but you realized the ones you were choosing were noncommittal, etc. What aspect of your "taste", essentially, did you realize was making you pick the wrong guys? And then alternatively, what ended up "working" for you? Like maybe there was handsome, brooding guy but you thought his mirror selfie was cringe...but you gave him a chance and he was actually great? Things like that.
When I was in my early 20s (I’m late 20s now), I became a part of a club at my college around a specific hobby. I got super, SUPER into it, it became my entire identity. I loved the people in it so much. I was really passionate about the hobby. It helped me because I became more confident, more expressive. I was soooo excited. The club and the people in it became my world. I even considered getting a tattoo of the club’s logo. I was afraid of “losing them” though. I was anxious and insecure and afraid I wasn’t good enough to “make it” in this club. I thought it was about our shared hobbies and passions (and it was partly that), but I think it was also about the people and wanting them to love me.
But the club could honestly be cliquey and competitive, with insecure, immature people. It was a bit of a “boys club.” Some instances of abusive relationships, even. But there were good moments, and there were genuine, cool af people — even if they were sometimes immature or cliquey or selfish (again, college kids).
Being a part of this club was the first time I actually had a group…actually regularly went to parties, went on little adventures, did cool things…the first time I was staring to have classic college/youthful experiences. I started to get compliments and attention for the first time — and to actually BELIEVE them. It was the first time in my life I actually realized I was beautiful and attractive to people. That I was interesting, funny, smart. I felt cool, and briefly popular even. I “blossomed,” in short.
I’d imagined they’d be in my life forever. But that wasn’t the case. Things fizzled out after I graduated college. I guess no one was really a close friend…the thing I was most afraid of (losing these people) became real…
Because of a mental breakdown and difficult emotions, I ended up distancing myself from them (didn’t know how to handle those emotions or conflicts), and we had a bit of an unspoken falling out. I unfollowed one person because they posted something immature and kind of mean online, and then his friends all unfollowed me (ouch). I’ve tried to reunite with some of them by asking to hang but no one initiated anything or followed up.
I think I never quite got over the pain and this was years ago. I think I thought they’d be my family. They were so fucking cool. Smart, funny, talented, creative people who shared a lot of my interests. Some of them were rough around the edges, edgy, alt, underdogs. I’d never had a “cool group” like that before in high school, and for half of college. It was the first time I was actually excited by a group and wanted to be accepted so badly. It was magical sometimes. But also full of fear, deep insecurity, and bad social anxiety. A mixed bag.
I realize that I have been panicking about aging and stuff because I have never been able to experience again what I experienced with them. I was supposed to have fun, have a bunch of friends, have a bunch of relationships, have adventures…do what young people do…but I never had much of that after them. I feel like there was supposed to be a continuity with them, but there wasn’t. And then I was alone. The pandemic happened. It’s like I’ve been lost ever since. I burned out, had a crisis, and just avoided that hobby entirely until recently. Other huge struggles in my life messed me up too. I realized today that I still miss them so much. I really, really fucking loved them. I’d take photos at the parties and stuff, capturing lively moments with them…it was so earnest. I was hoping to date a few of the guys from the club but that never happened.
Has anyone experienced something like this?
Wow, dating is tiring. I’ve known this but recently I’m really feeling it. I went on a date Sunday that wiped me out. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t a particularly great or fun date either. I think having to be “on” was exhausting. He was nervous and talked a lot because of this (self-admittedly). Having to make decisions about the second date has been overwhelming too. Considering both my interests and his. Then the emotional exertion of messaging other guys on the apps and deciding which conversation is worth pursuing. Feeling bad for dropping conversations even if I’m kind of interested because I just can’t juggle that many guys.
I know, I know, I don’t HAVE to talk to that many guys but I get excited and wanna find my guy and give people a fair shot.
Wild that other people in relationships get to sit back and not worry about finding anyone, while others serendipitously just met someone while just living their lives, meanwhile I have to go through this exhausting process for who knows how much longer.
I just want this to be fun and feel good…but I’m freakin spent. Trying to juggle dating AND my regular life (work, socializing, fitness) is too much.