why is no one talking about the everyday blatant patriarchy that exists in India?

in the student id card that school or college gives, always has only the father name mentioned , during children hospital appointments the appointment form asks to give the father of the childs name only not of the mothers, everybody asks a child what their fathers occupation is. WHY?!

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u/Broad_Web_1653 — 7 days ago
▲ 8 r/love

you cross my mind pretty often for just a friend.

one day you might show up and suprise me at any second of my life, and how i would be so suprised that you happened to find me at the very moment i was thinking about you, as if I don't spend every passing second thinking about you.

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u/Broad_Web_1653 — 9 days ago

I'm confused about something that happened with my guy best friend. help

im 17f, he's my best friend and like we both are bsfs since a long time and very comfortable with each like pretty close platonic bond, we hug, sleep on eachothers shoulder so touch wasn't an uncomfortable factor between us and one day we had a class together and we were sitting in the same bench beside eachother and i was really not well that day i was having cramps and just sick and like i was gonna faint,so he was trying to comfort me and like he rubbed the top of my hand with his fingers which was not weird and it was nice of him to care and then he put his hand on my thigh not way up ofc , he was like gently moving his hand back and forth on my thigh to comfort me it didn't feel like a bad intent thing ofc and before putting his hand he informed that he is putting his hand so ill feel better but for me it kind of felt sexual in a way but im not attracted to him but i felt the sexual feeling and i feel guilty to feel like that when he was comforting me and i couldn't ask him to remove his hand cuz i didn't wanna make it a weird thing cuz we always are touchy with eachother and didn't want to make him feel guilty for anything he didn't do and didn't want it to make him feel like i was uncomfortable with that considering how close we are with eachother , this moment always comes up in my mind not as a feel good way but as a weird like i didn't want it to happen, I don't understand what im feeling honestly idk if its that i feel uncomfortable abt it or if i feel assaulted or if i just feel guilty for feeling that way when his intention was to make me feel better. help i want to get this out of mind its eating me .

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u/Broad_Web_1653 — 1 month ago

is forgiveness necessary?

I thought that by being compassionate, I was a good person because I wasn't critiquing people for their life choices or for the way they felt about things or for the way that they acted even when they acted poorly towards me. Because I had this compassion for them and understood where they were struggling. And I just had the ability to just kind of let them be. What I failed to do was to understand that if I can have so much compassion for the reasons that they are, the way they are and who they are and whatever the fuck that they do, I'm also allowed to have my own complete experience at the same time as them.
And just because having compassion leads me to not really feel anger at anyone and kind of have this more neutral, broader perspective on people.

ok so ive heard someone talk abt forgiveness and how they dont agree with the fact tht forgiveness brings peace because u have to prerequisitely attain peace in order to forgive

like there's no like need for forgiveness, because you have to find peace before you forgive, and then you don't even really need to forgive
I don't know really if you're sorry anyway.
I don't know if you know how sorry you should be, depending on what you did. So forgiveness is tricky and it asks a lot of me, but grace just allows you to be.
idea of grace over forgiveness. It maintains that you still did exactly what you did, and that I don't have to view you as someone who didn't.But that also doesn't negate the fact that I am moved on,that I am healed because I think what just pisses me off is the idea that when you say you haven't forgiven someone, that it, it's assumed that there's still a problem there, that you haven't done the work, that you haven't healed, that you're not over it.

ok if someone does something wrong to me and I actually heal and I forgive them, but they never asked me to forgive them so l don't hold that sin against them, right?
And then, but they didn't ask me to forgive them. So they don't give a flying fuck and they go do the same thing again. Do I have to forgive them again even though I know that they're never ever going to change and that sin will be repeated?Or do I get a free pass?But I'm not even angry at them.

Why is the final point of getting past something shitty that someone does to you to pardon them?Why is that necessary?

any thoughts?
i need some clarity on this topic of forgiveness.

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u/Broad_Web_1653 — 1 month ago

forgiveness and grace

I thought that by being compassionate, I was a good person because I wasn't critiquing people for their life choices or for the way they felt about things or for the way that they acted even when they acted poorly towards me. Because I had this compassion for them and understood where they were struggling. And I just had the ability to just kind of let them be. What I failed to do was to understand that if I can have so much compassion for the reasons that they are, the way they are and who they are and whatever the fuck that they do, I'm also allowed to have my own complete experience at the same time as them.
And just because having compassion leads me to not really feel anger at anyone and kind of have this more neutral, broader perspective on people.

ok so ive heard someone talk abt forgiveness and how they dont agree with the fact tht forgiveness brings peace because u have to prerequisitely attain peace in order to forgive

like there's no like need for forgiveness, because you have to find peace before you forgive, and then you don't even really need to forgive
I don't know really if you're sorry anyway.
I don't know if you know how sorry you should be, depending on what you did. So forgiveness is tricky and it asks a lot of me, but grace just allows you to be.
idea of grace over forgiveness. It maintains that you still did exactly what you did, and that I don't have to view you as someone who didn't.But that also doesn't negate the fact that I am moved on,that I am healed because I think what just pisses me off is the idea that when you say you haven't forgiven someone, that it, it's assumed that there's still a problem there, that you haven't done the work, that you haven't healed, that you're not over it.

ok if someone does something wrong to me and I actually heal and I forgive them, but they never asked me to forgive them so l don't hold that sin against them, right?
And then, but they didn't ask me to forgive them. So they don't give a flying fuck and they go do the same thing again. Do I have to forgive them again even though I know that they're never ever going to change and that sin will be repeated?Or do I get a free pass?But I'm not even angry at them.

Why is the final point of getting past something shitty that someone does to you to pardon them?Why is that necessary?

any thoughts?
i need some clarity on this topic of forgiveness.

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u/Broad_Web_1653 — 1 month ago
▲ 44 r/AmITheAngel+1 crossposts

AITA for naming my ugly dog after my ex best friend?

I [29m] have been friends with Chad [32m] since we were born. Our moms are best friends and we grew up together and were roommates for the last 10 years, up until the incident that set our current situation into motion.
A little backstory. I have this... streak if you will? Basically every woman I date more than a few times ends up finding her soulmate after we break up. It's a thing. It started three years ago and it's now happened five times. We break things off and the very next person they date ends up being The One.

My friends think this is hilarious. I always part ways with the women on good terms, and I'm happy they're happy. But my buddies tease me mercilessly about it. They call me the good luck charm.

Anyway, forward to five months ago. I dated Hope [28f] for a few weeks. Not a big deal. We decided we weren't feeling it, no chemistry, so we called it quits. And then lo and behold she hits it off with Chad. Of course in true Good Luck Charm fashion, this means Chad is her soulmate. Chad is all googly-eyed over her, they've met the parents, they're ring shopping-and they want to move in together. Immediately.

The only problem is that Chad has six more months on our lease but found a perfect new house for him and Hope, and he can't afford to pay rent on two places at the same time. So he had to make the difficult decision to screw me over or screw her over-and he picked me. Now I have to find a way to cover his rent until the lease is up.

I've always wanted a dog, but Chad would never agree to it. So I went to a rescue and found the ugliest animal there. The one so hideous, nobody else wanted it. This dog's got an underbite and mange, and he's missing half an ear. He's a little Brussels Griffon, so he's got that deep frown-he looks like a judgmental gremlin. I adopted him and named him Chad since the dog is now my new best friend. If you're reading this, you're dead to me, human Chad. (Not really, I still love the guy.) But I tag him in the captions of every Chad the Dog Instagram post with "Look, a loyal Chad!"

Chad laughs it all off, but Hope is upset and says I should rename the dog. Chad's mom agrees and says I'm not allowed to come over until I change the name, which kind of sucks because she's my mom's best friend and I end up there a lot for family stuff. I'm still not doing it.

Am I petty? Yes. But am I the asshole?

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u/Broad_Web_1653 — 4 months ago