r/FeminismTelugu

How do they two coexist? I once asked a similar question, but I'm a little more direct in this one. I hope to understand the 'why'. TIA.

in the student id card that school or college gives, always has only the father name mentioned , during children hospital appointments the appointment form asks to give the father of the childs name only not of the mothers, everybody asks a child what their fathers occupation is. WHY?!

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i’m in my mind 20s. obviously, being called “auntie” doesn’t literally make me old. and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being an older woman

but when a guy my own age calls me “auntie”, it's to do it mockingly and that bothers me

because “auntie” in this context doesn’t just mean an older woman. it comes with all these associations of being old, unattractive, matronly, conservative, sexually irrelevant. basically, being outside the category of the “young, desirable woman"

and WHY is that supposed to be funny???

why is “you look old” one of the easiest ways to insult a woman???

because women are constantly taught that youth and attractiveness are forms of social value and that once you lose them, you lose something important

we’re told aging is natural, while simultaneously being taught to fucking dread it

so perhaps, i’m offended by the fact that “auntie” is being used as something a woman is supposed to be ashamed of becoming

Chinmayi is always right about men. Being a man, I got traumatised just by seeing this clip, I can only imagine what women in India and across the world have to go through on a daily basis.

I kind of see chivalry is ded kind of posts here and there... And I often wonder if we should consider chivalry as part of patriarchy. In relationships ante it's again a different topic but expecting chivalry from strangers is kind of absurd... At least naaku ade anipistundi but I would love to listen to a different POV that I might be missing

Both the Telugu states(Telangana 23.5 and Andhra 22.8) are also closer to national average.

I don't even know if I can post this here.

I've been called “wife material” quite a few times by people across different age groups and genders.

What exactly are the standards of being “wife material”? What are we judging a woman against? How a "good woman" should behave???

Is she considered “wife material” because she's caring, patient, emotionally available, knows how to manage any situation, is “adjusting,” doesn't have “too many” opinions, or knows when to compromise? I mean, I can be all these and still be independent, ambitious, messy, difficult and figuring out myself.

I don't think I have a problem with the phrase itself. I can understand someone might simply mean, “She's someone I could see myself building a life with.” And, there's nothing wrong with that.

But the standards associated with the phrase feel a lot more nuanced. Sometimes, it feels like we're complimenting women for how well they fit into a role rather than appreciating them for who they are outside of it.

And ig that's what makes the phrase uncomfortable for me: Who gets to decide what makes someone “wife material” in the first place?

Before calling someone “wife material,” maybe we should ask ourselves: Are we appreciating her as an individual, or evaluating her for a role we expect her to fulfill?

Personally I have seen many men being scared and afraid of gays.

I get it few gays do touch u inappropriately and don’t leave until you give them money. But not every gay is that way.

I have seen many gay men working and they ask for consent, they don’t ask for money.

Men being afraid of gay is same as women being afraid of men.

Cause women face same kinda molest or harassment or catcalling from men.

Why is it fair men being afraid but women doing the same for same reason isn’t fair ?? To counter it they come with statement - NOT ALL MEN.

NOT ALL GAY MEN too.

Isn’t it hypocrisy ??

Also I feel one more factor added to the fear is that, gay men and straight men have same anatomy except for hormones (people who didn’t get hormone injections) they both have same physical strength. I guess this is one of the factor which adds fear.

Imagine if a straight man is alone and is approached by gay men, his fear is same as the woman would fear when she is alone and approached by men.

But she is physically little weak but straight men have same strength as the gay men yet their fear is valid but not ours.

I feel gender neutral laws can be launched only when all genders have same privileges.

Like everyone can go out without fear of being attacked or molested. Everyone’s dignity is treated as the same. Everyone is grown up with no tags of humiliation for being born the way they are.

If both men and women are brought up by teaching them how to play cricket, do chores, cook, do small repairs at home, lifting heavy objects, if both are trained physically and mentally on same level.

Then gender neutral laws make sense.

Else if the same laws come into existence right now, where majority of women don’t enjoy same privileges as men and aren’t raised physically strong as men, if a woman is attacked and graped, more probable cause man is physically strong, before she gets to complain in police station, if a man files a complaint against her saying he is graped by her. How would law decide who got graped ?? If on first comes first, it would be easy for men to file faster even they grape others, cause he didn’t lose anything to regain composure or come back from trauma.

I feel gender neutral laws should come only when every one has same privileges, else the minority gender (which commits less crimes) will always suffer. Gay men suffering and women suffering.

What’s ur take on this ??

EDIT: People bashing for not knowing difference between trans and gay. Let me tell you this, I didn’t want to mention those tags cause there are trans who love to dress up as woman without going through hormonal change, they have same physical strength as that of straight men. While trans who go through hormonal changes cannot be as strong as straight men.
MEDICAL PROCEDURE IS A PERSONAL CHOICE.
But both trans (no hormonal change) and gay men attract to one common gender- straight men, and all these three categories have similar physical strength.

So I specifically mention guys who don’t go hormonal changes.

A short dress is not consent, and nobody should be treated as an object. That should be a given.

But here's the question: is it contradictory to object to objectification while also normalizing platforms like OnlyFans, where a woman's body is the product?

Also, young women are told to build careers and

independence. Yet OnlyFans is often celebrated as quick money. Do you think some young women are pulled away from education or careers by the success stories?

To be fair:

Consent is the difference between choosing to sell content and being harassed.

The women campaigning against harassment and the women on these platforms are mostly different groups.

I'm not blaming women who choose it. I'm asking what message the culture sends to young women.

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I have been thinking about this after seeing all those memes about the pilot(been a bit busy so couldnt make this post when this news came out) who saved everyone on his flight despite being stabbed. People were talking about how much men go through to protect their families, how men are expected to be strong, selfless, and heroic. And obviously, what that pilot did was incredibly brave.

But something about the way we romanticize male sacrifice bothers me.

Because I have seen women around me do extraordinary things every single day, and nobody calls them heroic.

There was a domestic worker where I used to live. She had two daughters and a husband who was an alcoholic. He abused her, beat her, accused her of sleeping with other men, did not earn money, and eventually became paralysed. She was the one working in seven or eight houses, seven days a week, while also taking care of him, her children, the household, and his medical expenses.

She herself had kidney stones and was physically weak. She came from a marginalized community and had very little social or financial support. Her own parents kept telling her to stay with her husband despite everything he did to her and her children. Her MIL verbally abused her too.

And yet, she kept going.

What struck me most was that despite everything she had been through, she was incredibly progressive. She would always tell us, "Do not get married until you feel you have done everything you want to do in life. Do not marry just because you have to."

I still think about her.

And she is not some extraordinary exception. I have met other women with alcoholic, unemployed or abusive husbands who work, raise their children, run households and somehow keep everything together.

Yet I constantly hear men say, "I have seen men take care of women who don't work, but I've never seen a woman take care of a man who doesn't work."

I genuinely do not understand how we can be surrounded by women doing exactly that and still not see it.

Maybe that is the problem. Women's suffering is so normalized that we don't even recognize it as sacrifice anymore.

A man protects his family , he is a hero.

A woman works all day, comes home, cooks, cleans, raises children, cares for a sick husband, tolerates abuse and somehow keeps the family functioning - that's just "what women do."

I'm not saying men don't suffer. They absolutely do, and their struggles deserve empathy too.

I'm saying I wish we could stop turning male suffering into something profound while treating women's suffering as ordinary.

Because there are so many women quietly carrying entire families on their backs, and nobody is making memes about them.

And honestly, that makes me angry.

In Indian context the recent Giva ad they didn’t stand up for kriti during the backlash

On a global context Epstein supporters - estee lauder and Loreal group

Are there any other brands you boycott and why?

One more thing I would like to add - where you called “extremist” or “too opinionated” for boycotting?

the textbook definition of feminism is a “socio-political movement that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equalities of the sexes”.

It is not just about equal rights to men and women. It’s about fighting all kinds of oppression regardless of gender.

Not all kinds of feminism ticks the box. Like,
white feminism: Doesn’t talk about race, class oppression
savarna feminism: Doesn’t talk about caste based oppression
Liberal feminism: Doesn’t really include poor, working-class women
Gender-critical feminism: Doesn’t include trans-women
Girlboss feminism: encourages capitalism

Capitalism, Casteism, Racism, Classism, every form of oppression is rooted in patriarchy. Feeling superior over other people because of your birth, color of your skin, economic status, etc etc all comes from patriarchal mindset.

If you call yourself a feminist but feel superior over other people because of your caste, skin color, the amount of money you have, your job, YOU ARE NOT A FEMINIST.

As far as I know, the only feminism types that include all oppressed people and is against all kinds of oppressions and patriarchy as a whole are Intersectional Feminism and Radical feminism. Please let me know if there are other types !!

Edit: Even I’m still learning everyday, so please correct me if I’m wrong anywhere.