u/Broken_melon22

A year ago I broke up with my ex of 8 months. No it wasn’t years we were together but I really was invested in this relationship. I truly wanted to build a future with him and I was madly in love with him (despite not being the best partner) until he confessed to betraying my trust with a lot of lies throughout our relationship and a secret addiction and it truly destroyed me. I was suddenly cornered one day with all of this and decided to breakup as I knew I didn’t deserve that. Did I want to breakup though? Hell no. I just felt I had no other choice.

I have done a lot of healing in the past year but, I haven’t been able to get over it and that’s the honest truth. I didn’t have the opportunity to see the relationship through and I really did love him so deeply so it was such a traumatic experience for me and the thing that was helping me cope, was the hope that he was regretting what he did and taking the time to stay single and reflect on his actions.

1 week ago I found out it only took him 2-3 months to move on. Not only has he been with her now longer than we were together, but he’s done all the things I wish he’d had done for me, for her instead.
One of the things that hurts the most is he even moved in with her (when he told me he couldn’t see himself moving to my town and away from his family) This is the same person that tried to tell me he wanted to marry me and have kids with me when we broke up.

I feel so stupid and everything feels so raw again. I genuinely feel pathetic that I grieved someone for a whole year and still miss him, when I’m literally not even a second thought to him anymore. I don’t think I can ever date again. Not my first relationship but, most likely my last. I can’t go through this again, I’m not strong enough and I’m too fucking sensitive. To truly get past this feeling I think I need another good year. I just don’t understand how people can move on so fast.

 A year ago I broke up with my ex of 8 months. No it wasn’t years we were together but I really was invested in this relationship. I truly wanted to build a future with him and I was madly in love with him (despite not being the best partner) until he confessed to betraying my trust with a lot of lies throughout our relationship and a secret addiction and it truly destroyed me. I was suddenly cornered one day with all of this and decided to breakup as I knew I didn’t deserve that. Did I want to breakup though? Hell no. I just felt I had no other choice.

I have done a lot of healing in the past year but, I haven’t been able to get over it and that’s the honest truth. I didn’t have the opportunity to see the relationship through and I really did love him so deeply so it was such a traumatic experience for me and the thing that was helping me cope, was the hope that he was regretting what he did and taking the time to stay single and reflect on his actions.

1 week ago I found out it only took him 2-3 months to move on. Not only has he been with her now longer than we were together, but he’s done all the things I wish he’d had done for me, for her instead.
One of the things that hurts the most is he even moved in with her (when he told me he couldn’t see himself moving to my town and away from his family) This is the same person that tried to tell me he wanted to marry me and have kids with me when we broke up.

I feel so stupid and everything feels so raw again. I genuinely feel pathetic that I grieved someone for a whole year and still miss him, when I’m literally not even a second thought to him anymore. I don’t think I can ever date again. Not my first relationship but, most likely my last. I can’t go through this again, I’m not strong enough and I’m too fucking sensitive. To truly get past this feeling I think I need another good year. I just don’t understand how people can move on so fast.

I have an area out the front of my place that could use some screening. I’ve got mostly natives in that part of my garden so I was hoping for some recommendations of fast growing (as much as possible in 1 year) natives to create a bit of privacy in my front yard. Please let me know what you recommend for a victorian coastal climate 🙏

Wtf is wrong with me?? Why can’t these feelings just go away?? It’s been a year and we weren’t even together for a year so, why does it still hurt? I really wish I could just wake up and never feel like this again. He’s moved on, I don’t matter to him anymore, so why can’t I rid myself of my thoughts and feeling? why am I so sensitive? I really can’t take it anymore

It’s been a year and I’d be lying if I said I was over it. I’ve pretty much thought of him everyday, hoping he regretted how he treated me and hoping he spends a good year single to learn from his mistakes.

Ive had a suspicion about this girl he added a few months after we broke up, I had no idea who she was but something in me said “that’s who his next victim will be” and 1 year later I find out he’s not only been with her for a while and I was right, but he moved to her town when he told me he didn’t want to move from his town because he likes it and all his family is there.

I keep reminding myself the reasons we broke up in the first place (he did a lot of selfish and hurtful things and betrayed my trust) but I feel so deeply hurt as to why he could do all the things I wish he’d done for me for someone else. And I genuinely feel stupid and hate myself for hurting and missing him for a whole year, even with no contact, no socials etc. when it took him no Time to move on and start making a life with someone else. I hate being so damn sensitive

And the weirdest thing is I feel kind of free. I feel relieved in a way, because now I know I was right. I feel upset because he actually moved in with her to another town when he said he didn’t want to move to my town when we were together but, I saw a picture of him for the first time in a while and all I thought was “girl you can have him….”

I’m shaking because of shock but I don’t feel like crying at all. Is this normal?

edit: nvm I got past the shock and now I can’t stop crying and I hate myself for it because we literally broke up a year ago and I should be over this by now. It seems he’s been with her for a while now and I’m the idiot still unable to move on.

And the weirdest thing is I feel kind of free. I feel relieved in a way, because now I know I was right. I feel annoyed because he actually moved in with her to another town when he said he didn’t want to move to my town when we were together but, I saw a picture of him for the first time in a while and all I thought was “girl you can have him….”

I’m shaking because of shock but I don’t feel like crying at all. Is this normal?

some people say it’s like your body keeping score, your body remembering how you felt a year ago, which brings back these emotions but, 3 days ago it was 1 year since our breakup and I have been in a rut since, feeling everything so much deeper since and a lot of unresolved emotions resurfacing

Is this normal? A lot of the time I feel over it but, something small triggered a memory today and I feel like crying now. I hate myself for missing him because I know deep down the person I miss was just a mask of who he truly was and I know how much he hurt me but, I guess sometimes you just can’t help how you feel. I guess I just loved him too deeply when he was unworthy of it and I was too naive at the time to know any better.

Is this normal? A lot of the time I feel over it but, something small triggered a memory today and I feel like crying now. I hate myself for missing him because I know deep down the person I miss was just a mask of who he truly was and I know how much he hurt me but, I guess sometimes you just can’t help how you feel. I guess I just loved him too deeply when he was unworthy of it and I was too naive at the time to know any better.

So I (22F) was in a relationship that ended a year ago. It was only about 8 months long but, it was one of those total whirlwind romances that you make all these amazing memories and you fall deeply in Love fast. I guess I idolised him more than he deserved and turned out he was a massive liar, keeping secrets, doing things behind my back and being quite selfish. It still aches in my chest when I think about him, even if I’m accepting of the situation, know it wasn’t meant to be, and that I deserve better. Yet the good memories haunt me sometimes and I just wonder if it’ll always hurt like this when I think of him.

I miss being in a relationship but, Im okay on my own. To me it felt like betrayal on his end so I wonder if it’ll always sting like this until I eventually meet someone new?
My fear of going through that all again is definitely holding me back from wanting to date again and sort of wanting to safeguard myself from this kind of hurt.

Anyone in a similar boat, did these feelings eventually go away once you were ready to date again and met someone new? Or do some memories and heartache just stay with you and you just have to live with it?