u/Budget-Necessary-343

Been doing pretty good lately. I keep all of my RJ to myself nowadays but today i genuinely feel like ending my relationship over my RJ. It rarely gets like this anymore but everything feels like a duplicate of her past experiences and I genuinely cant take it anymore. i dont know what to do. For reference ive now realize ive posted not one but two ALMOST identical photos of her doing the same thing in the same place as her ex has posted. Or identical photos in the SAME exact spots. These are things like doing the same pose with her sisters dog in the same spot or at the neighbors pool at their vacation home. I did not realize her ex had posted these until AFTERWARDS obviously i would never intentionally make myself look dumb. It feels so embarrasing for me. Maybe the embarrasment is whats crushing me. I never feel special or unique, ever. She also is just so dishonest about her experiences that i never take comfort in her words.

I know everyone will just say i need to grow up and be alone and trust me i have considered this and still am but genuinely dumping her would destroy her and uproot her life which feels unfair because its MY problem. I do love her a lot but I also never feel good anymore because of my own mind really. I think being in a relationship is just so miserable for me. The highs are so high and the lows are so low i feel like i could run through a wall

might i add that i have significant trauma from people leaving me/ terrible childhood etc. so my brain is just generally a nightmare

Hi everyone! if this isnt allowed please remove! I have been practicing film with my Konica C35 EF point and shoot, but just couldnt get the photos to look how id wished. it was a good starter camera but I just recently got a canon AE-1 from a lady on facebook !! ( got it for a total steal and im stoked).

I am attending a large festival in chicago at the end of july and i would be lying if i said i have expertise in film. I really need help learning what film will be best for a bright outdoor setting. i used kodak gold in my other camera but the photos still always seemed to come out darker than id hoped. i will insert some photos ive had developed!

All of that to say, what films do you guys reccomend for outdoors somewhere like chicago? assuming its bright and sunny. I have seen kodak porta 400 and kodak gold recommended for the canon AE-1 but wanted opinions from people on here!

Additionally, id love any tips or tricks you guys have. Film is obviously expensive and i surely have blown through some rolls!

TIA!!! :)

Here i go again LOL do people go to bars/ clubs after lolla? or just go home? never been to chicago so im curious and if so whats close/ fun??

genuinely curious, if people are wearing chunky boots/ heels and insane outfits to coachella each year is it not a very similar concept as wearing that to lolla?

I have seen a million mixed reviews about whats best to wear and being told not to wear cute shoes and even some people saying not to dress cute either bc typically festival outfits=discomfort. some say fashion shoes are painful, others i see are like "were not going to war its not that bad.." so i guess as a first time goer i am genuinely curious are people being dramatic or is this fr something to think about. ive seen tonnssss of stuff people "reccomend" then see veterans saying its not neccesary. if you could give me 5 things that are NON NEGOTIABLE to bring what would they be?!

my plan from the start was to wear my tall boots/ chunky shoes and buy gel insoles. my hotel is practically touching grant park and im taking comfy shoes to change into if it gets bad. I wore a brand new pair of PLATFORM doc martens 25k steps in a day in NYC and survived but i know this may be faster paced lol

I know this sub isnt for RJ but do any other wlw in this group suffer from retroactive jealousy? would love to connect and bond with other women with similar struggles:(

My girlfriends 24th is coming up in august and I want to do something romantic/ nice but im honestly blanking! Last year i booked a suprise glamping getaway but this year im not sure what we could do. its soo hot out. shes blue collar, loves the outdoors. we live in north carolina.

Also any gift suggestions? i have a few but everything shes wanted ive already gotten over the span of time as little suprises/ random gifts.

fighting fr demons today LOL. my gfs body count is 9 and i know of 5 and im itching to ask about the others but i am RESISTING so hard because i know it will serve no good for me whatsoever and theres zero reason to ask. ughhhhh. how do yall shift your minds from this? i have grown so much and keep most of my RJ to myself tbh but im struggling rn!!

First time lolla-er and cant seem to find clear answers on this. can you bring in purses? i plan to mostly do my lulu belt bag for convenience but my hotel is basically touching the park and some days a small purse would really pull my fit together. If i got tired of it i could just run back to my hotel. Also, are digital cameras allowed? and belts? for some reason seen some people saying metal belts arent allowed in???

HELP PLEASE!!!!!

hi everyone, I am newer to the security system world. Recently purchased a new house and presumably thought our neighborhood was very safe, until we added a ring camera by our garage. About two weeks before, our neighbors car was stolen right out of their driveway at 10pm.

Nonetheless, we now are highly alert about whats going on around us. In a months time we have had (3)(to our knowledge) different men show up in our driveway messing with our cars, "passing through" all with masks on, doing who knows what. As expected, cops always make note of it but can never do anything unless caught in the act... typical.

We are young (23) year old girls and its scary knowing these people are right outside of where we are sleeping. With this all being said, my ring camera has consistently missed these occurances. A man was in our driveway just this weekend and we only knew because our neighbor actually caught him and texted us the next day!! Not a single catch from our ring camera. INSANE!! it makes me wonder how many other things it has missed.

Moral of the story; We really need a reliable system. We travel a lot, have beloved pets, and a LOT of expensive belongings. Our house is one of the nicer ones in the neighborhood and I feel more subjected to a break in than some others may. My point in posting this is to get honest feedback on the quality of simplisafe.

Should we stick with our cheaper cameras and just get window alarms/ smoke alarms etc for inside? should we do the whole system? please give me HONEST experiences. i have seen very mixed reviews and want the best bang for our buck.

struggling with rj pretty bad today. Her ex went private on instragram and didnt post tiktoks for over a month so honestly no stalking could be done. i think it eased my brain. when its accessible its a compulsion i cant say no to no matter how hard i try. I have learned to be a silent RJ sufferer. I mention her ex minimally and if i do its never an upset reaction, more just me talking down on her to boost myself and get reassurance which i know is wrong.

I think I am over emotonal today because she finally posted again. I just dont think the reassurance my gf is offering me is what Im looking for. I make poor assumptions about her exs posts that could/ could not be directed. they brokeup in 2024 (the ex dumped her) BUT the ex did come back, asking to fix it, and my gf said no. this has happened with both exes. one even contacted her when we first started talking asking to try again. it was the third time shes tried and they brokeup in 2022...........

in hindsight, i think the most recent ex regretted it for a bit. My gf acts like this is totally irrelevant, but to me its not. within the first few months of us dating, her exs bestfriend would stalk my tiktok and even blocked me. The ex made multiple tiktoks after they brokeup very obviously directed/ sad, etc. (in 2025 was STILL making comments regarding her first wlw heartbreak and searching for her in every room). Now some of the stuff she has posted could VERY well be about another partner after my gf, but either way, as someone with RJ obviously i will assume it is about my gf. I know her ex has not DATED anyone since my gf. Needless to say she posted something really sad recently ( along the lines of i forgive you but i begged for these things from you and never got them) after i had posted a tiktok of me and my gf being happy and doing things that i know she used to ask for with her. Easy to assume.. right?

Moral of the story is that anytime i need reassurance i get the most blunt, unserious, unempathetic "im so irrelevant to her. she doesnt care about me. thats not about me. " stuff of that sort with laughing emojis and idk. it just makes me feel dumb and embarrased. why is it funny.

again, we have no idea who its truly about and of course my brain will latch onto it being about her. Idk. I wish she was more helpful to me sometimes but it really isnt worth a conversation. Im proud of myself because i have stopped bringing her up but at the same time i know its all because of embarrasment and months of not having a safe space with the support i need to do so, so oh well. i guess its a win for both of us in a way but i also am just dying for someone to talk to about my thoughts even if they dont make sense at all..

How have you guys worked on social media checking compulsions? Not making assumptions about things?

Has anyone struggled with cavities and invisalign? I have two black dots on the backs of two front teeth since starting invisalign and im feeling sad about it. ugh. I try to brush everytime i drink and rinse my trays but clearly im not doing the best job getting the back sides and i feel so embarrased.

Will i be able to see the chainsmokers and also make it to ethel cains aftershow? this is my first time going to lolla and im so confused about transportation time etc.

retroactive jealousy girlies how is the cure by olivia Rodrigo treating you!! 😟

ladies!! Help!

Over the last 7 or so years of my life i have had chronic UTIs, BV, bacterial infections, etc. Im talking 13 urgent care/ doctors appts since 2024 and that's not even including the times i have suffered through and not been seen/ treated ( like i have been for the past year +). It got to the point one gyno told me "some women just have to live with chronic BV without explanation". Well i don't want to be some women!! it sucks! It has burned while i pee for the past year and a half and no antibiotic has helped.

All of that to say that on top of chronic never ending pain, which has led to antibiotic resistance as well because i have taken so many,...... i ALSO have discomfort everyday. I cannot wear any underwear without being uncomfortable (i.e, a lip being smooshed, hanging out, etc.) Just wearing my scrubs everyday is so uncomfortable.

I have just recently discovered that labiaplasty helps with these issues when you have longer labia that is trapping bacteria, etc. I am just curious what people think the odds are of me having insurance help pay for this/ deem it medically necessary.

Additionally, i have developed extreme anxiety over the idea of this surgery and want to know everyone's experiences. the good, the bad, the ugly. did you do local anesthesia? general? how much did you have removed? what was the pain scale? how long were you out of work? what did you pay?

Please send all the good vibes and advice! my appointment with my OBGYN is June 16. i do not want to regret this, especially considering ive became content with how it looks and this wouldnt be for cosmetic purposes.

Just got confirmation that my girlfriend has lied to me for over a year about her past and experiences to try to butter me up. i.e telling me her family never wanted her exs around, never took them on trips with them, telling me our experiences are her first time doing them. just to find out its all a lie. they went on multiple family trips, did the exact same things she told me was unique to us. we went skiing and i felt so sad and insecure because i was terrible. in a curious manner, i asked if her exes were super athletic since one went to school where we were skiing. she said no, told me shed never went skiing with anyone before and reassured me how special it was and how she loved teaching me. come to find out she did indeed take her ex on a family trip to montana to SKII. might i add montana is where she wanted us to get married. she also took me on a huge family trip ( out of the country) filled my head with the fact no one has ever travelled with her. but montana is halfway across the country!! omg. ugh

she is heartbroken over the fact shes lied to me. she explains she lied to protect me, because she knew the truth would hurt me. the issue is i always find out. social media is so toxic for me. i easily found the posts of her ex on this family vacation, doing exactly what she told me she did for the first time with me. i cant fathom it. do you guys think its reasonable for your partners to lie if its to "protect you"?? to me, it breaks the foundation we had. i trusted her more than i have ever trusted another soul. now it feels ripped from me. i could never look her in the eyes and tell a blatant lie. it hurts. i did used to have explosive RJ phases where i would cry and nearly throw up when I would find old photos ,etc. but that was so long ago. i have grown a lot. this was when we were long distance. i finally feel slightly more confident in myself, but when i ask a question i just want the truth. we live together also. ouch. It doesnt help that i have built confidence in myself and us based on these things she has told me. finding out its not true makes me feel like everything is a lie. i cant stop checking her exs profiles multiple times a day. its like an addiction. and yes, i am in therapy, but i am a loaded person with other things to handle too. Might i add that nowadays i never take my stalking out on her. its all internal battles of insecurity and sadness. she has no idea for the most part, because i think its unfair to punish her for her past.

we were supposed to be getting engaged within the next year. considering we have built a life together, have careers, plan on building a home. everything is perfect until its not. im so sad. are constant lies to protect my feelings a warrant for reconsidering our relationship.

** I truly feel like I need to clarify that retroactive jealousy is the root of this issue and something I have struggled with heavily. I understand what this sub is for. and yes! it is RJ at the end of the day. **** the point in this post was to ask other people with retroactive jealousy if they would rather be lied to and be happy with that or just be told the truth

Are you able to survive a lifetime in the clinical research field if you dont have the passion for it? As a CRC? I guess for lack of better explanation, if you are doing it because of the money and not because of interest, will it eventually suck the life out of you? I feel like from all that I read, its such a high demand, challenging job, that honestly seems undercompensated. I dont think I care about the field, though I know its very important and I admire those who do. I just want to work closer with people. Like being an RN, or working with children. I never envisioned myself where I am, but I am so grateful for my job because I know I am lucky to have it. I feel like I dread working everyday, but its important to note that I am not fully into the crc role yet. I do not see patients on my own, etc. I am in training. I am so bored. Will this change? do you CRCs on here feel that you get your human interaction fix from being a CRC? does this take a specific kind of person regardless? I feel like im losing my mind