u/Cautious-Candy1221

I just started my first semester of an MSW program this week, and I’m having a hell of a time figuring out how to make my weekly schedule actually work rather than just look mathematically possible on paper.

Right now I have:

- 5 graduate classes — 4 online/asynchronous and 1 in-person class every Wednesday from 1–4 PM

- 14 hours/week of practicum

- QMHP work — currently one client who is allotted up to 12 hours/week (although I don't need to use all 12 each week)

- A contested divorce. I finally have an attorney, so hopefully a lot of that mental load should decrease, but I still have documents to find/organize and occasional divorce-related tasks and appointments

- MS, POTS, and fibromyalgia, which means my body occasionally looks at the schedule I carefully created and says, “That’s adorable"

- And then, theoretically, I’m also supposed to keep my house from becoming a biohazard, feed myself, shower with some degree of regularity, do laundry, take care of my dog and cat, sleep, and perhaps experience one recreational emotion per fiscal quarter

The biggest problem I'm running into is that I can create a schedule where everything technically fits, but it requires basically every functional hour of every day to be productive. There’s no room for a bad symptom day, fatigue, appointments, something taking longer than expected, or just being a human being who occasionally needs to stare blankly at a wall.

Unfortunately, I also don't have an obvious thing I can simply drop right now. I need to stay enrolled in school, practicum is required for the program, I need to maintain at least some work hours because everything is so expensive, the divorce obviously isn't optional, and neglecting myself/the animals/the house indefinitely seems frowned upon.

For people who have balanced some combination of grad school + field placement + work + chronic illness/disability + normal adult responsibilities, how did you structure your week?

Did you:

- Batch practicum/work into longer days?

- Spread everything across shorter days?

- Designate certain days specifically for schoolwork?

- Protect one completely obligation-free day?

- Build “buffer” blocks into your schedule?

- Work below your theoretical maximum hours so you had capacity for bad health days?

- Have different versions of your schedule for good/average/bad symptom weeks?

- Outsource or dramatically lower your standards for household stuff?

I'm especially interested in actual weekly structures that worked for people, rather than productivity advice like “wake up earlier” or “use a planner.” I own planners. I have made spreadsheets. I have color-coded things. The problem is unfortunately that there continue to be only 24 hours in a day and those with chronic illnesses know that we definitely don't have the same 24 hours as a healthy functioning person.

I'm trying to figure out what a sustainable version of this semester looks like before I accidentally create a schedule that works beautifully for 10 days and then sends me directly into the sun.

Any advice, sample schedules, things you wish you'd done differently, or permission to lower my standards somewhere would be greatly appreciated!

I just started my first semester of an MSW program this week, and I’m having a hell of a time figuring out how to make my weekly schedule actually work rather than just look mathematically possible on paper.

Right now I have:

- 5 graduate classes — 4 online/asynchronous and 1 in-person class every Wednesday from 1–4 PM

- 14 hours/week of practicum

- QMHP work — currently one client who is allotted up to 12 hours/week (although I don't need to use all 12 each week)

- A contested divorce. I finally have an attorney, so hopefully a lot of that mental load should decrease, but I still have documents to find/organize and occasional divorce-related tasks and appointments

- MS, POTS, and fibromyalgia, which means my body occasionally looks at the schedule I carefully created and says, “That’s adorable"

- And then, theoretically, I’m also supposed to keep my house from becoming a biohazard, feed myself, shower with some degree of regularity, do laundry, take care of my dog and cat, sleep, and perhaps experience one recreational emotion per fiscal quarter

The biggest problem I'm running into is that I can create a schedule where everything technically fits, but it requires basically every functional hour of every day to be productive. There’s no room for a bad symptom day, fatigue, appointments, something taking longer than expected, or just being a human being who occasionally needs to stare blankly at a wall.

Unfortunately, I also don't have an obvious thing I can simply drop right now. I need to stay enrolled in school, practicum is required for the program, I need to maintain at least some work hours because everything is so expensive, the divorce obviously isn't optional, and neglecting myself/the animals/the house indefinitely seems frowned upon.

For people who have balanced some combination of grad school + field placement + work + chronic illness/disability + normal adult responsibilities, how did you structure your week?

Did you:

- Batch practicum/work into longer days?

- Spread everything across shorter days?

- Designate certain days specifically for schoolwork?

- Protect one completely obligation-free day?

- Build “buffer” blocks into your schedule?

- Work below your theoretical maximum hours so you had capacity for bad health days?

- Have different versions of your schedule for good/average/bad symptom weeks?

- Outsource or dramatically lower your standards for household stuff?

I'm especially interested in actual weekly structures that worked for people, rather than productivity advice like “wake up earlier” or “use a planner.” I own planners. I have made spreadsheets. I have color-coded things. The problem is unfortunately that there continue to be only 24 hours in a day and those with chronic illnesses know that we definitely don't have the same 24 hours as a healthy functioning person.

I'm trying to figure out what a sustainable version of this semester looks like before I accidentally create a schedule that works beautifully for 10 days and then sends me directly into the sun.

Any advice, sample schedules, things you wish you'd done differently, or permission to lower my standards somewhere would be greatly appreciated!

I'm hoping some other disabled or chronically ill Virginia Beach residents might have experience with this.

I had to go to the Virginia Beach Circuit Court on Friday for a hearing related to my divorce. I have several chronic health conditions, including POTS/dysautonomia, MS and fibromyalgia, and I'm extremely heat intolerant.

I knew court would be physically difficult, but I wasn't prepared for just how inaccessible the whole experience would feel.

I couldn't find anywhere reasonably close to park, so I ended up parking pretty far out and walking roughly a quarter mile to the courthouse. It was already hot outside, and by the time I got into the building my body was struggling.

I normally carry a small rechargeable personal fan specifically because overheating can trigger my POTS symptoms. But security wouldn't allow me to bring it inside, though, so I had to go back and lock it up.

Without it, I ended up getting increasingly overheated while I was there and had a pretty significant POTS flare before the hearing even started. By the time everything was over, I still had the long walk back to the car in the heat and humidity.

It's now Sunday and I'm still paying for Friday. I've been dealing with a pretty brutal post-exertional crash... extreme fatigue/sleepiness, increased pain, weakness, brain fog, dizziness and very limited ability to do much of anything.

Unfortunately this also isn't going to be my last time at the courthouse. My divorce is contested from my ex's sode and I have additional court proceedings coming up, including a trial this fall.

I'm basically trying to figure out how to make the next trip there safer.

For anyone local who is disabled, chronically ill, has mobility limitations, or has accompanied someone who does: how do you handle the Virginia Beach courthouse?

- Is there accessible parking significantly closer to the entrance that I missed?

- Has anyone gotten permission to bring a small battery/rechargeable medical cooling device or personal fan through security with a doctor's letter?

- Is there someone at the courthouse I can contact ahead of time about disability accommodations rather than trying to figure it out at security that morning?

- Are there any other accessibility options there that aren't obvious if you don't know to ask for them?

I'm going to talk to my doctor about documentation before my next court date, but I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have actually navigated the courthouse with a disability.

Also, if anyone local with POTS/dysautonomia or similar conditions has figured out particularly good ways of surviving our lovely Virginia Beach summer humidity without triggering a flare, I'll happily take those suggestions too. 😅

Friday thoroughly kicked my ass.

Friday I had to go to court for an important hearing. I knew it was going to take a lot out of me, but I really underestimated just how badly.

I have multiple chronic illnesses, including POTS/dysautonomia, fibromyalgia, MS, and pretty severe heat intolerance. I'm already fairly limited in how much physical activity I can tolerate.

Getting into the courthouse involved roughly a quarter-mile walk from where I parked, in the Virginia summer heat and humidity. Once I got inside, security wouldn't allow me to bring my little personal fan into the building, so I had to lock it up.

Between the heat, walking, standing, stress/adrenaline of court, and not being able to cool myself properly, my body basically revolted. I got overheated and had a pretty significant POTS flare.

It's now Sunday and I'm still absolutely wiped out. I'm incredibly sleepy, hurting much more than usual, weak, foggy, and even small amounts of activity feel disproportionately difficult. I keep thinking I'll wake up and finally feel noticeably better, and instead I'm still stuck in this crash/PEM-like state.

The frustrating part is that Friday wasn't something optional that I irresponsibly pushed myself through. I'm going through a contested divorce. I had to go to court. And now I'm losing multiple days afterward just recovering from doing one unavoidable adult-life thing.

I'm not really looking for medical advice or a diagnosis. I think I'm mostly looking for some reassurance from people who understand how demoralizing this can be.

And I'd LOVE to hear your weird little recovery things. Not necessarily scientifically proven miracle cures but like the oddly specific things you've discovered make crashes even 5% more tolerable. A particular drink? Food? Position you lie in? Compression? Ice packs? Ridiculous pillow configuration? Shower trick? Something you keep next to the bed? A comfort show? A rule you've developed for crash days?

I'll happily take your chronic illness folklore at this point.

Mostly I could just use hearing from people who understand what it feels like when doing one completely normal thing costs your body several days.

I'm the defendant in a contested divorce in Virginia Beach Circuit Court and am temporarily pro se after unexpectedly losing my previous attorney when she stopped practicing law and her firm was unable to continue representing me.

I have a hearing this Friday (8/14). Plaintiff's filed motion originally requested:

• Waiver of the Judicial Settlement Conference
• Permission to set the Pretrial Conference without my agreement
• Waiver of Plaintiff's attendance at the Pretrial Conference or permission to appear remotely
• Attorney's fees/costs for bringing the motion

I have located an attorney I want to retain, but his retainer is $8,000. I have arranged to liquidate funds from my separate-property investment account to pay it. The sale/transfer is currently being processed, but because of the timing I may have to appear Friday without him.

My primary goal Friday is to ask the court for a continuance so I can formally retain replacement counsel and give counsel reasonable time to review the case. The contested-divorce trial is currently scheduled for October 5.

What I cannot figure out is the procedural paperwork.

For Virginia Beach Circuit Court, do I need to file a written Motion to Continue before Friday? Is there a specific Virginia or local form for this, or do I draft the motion myself? Do I also need to prepare a proposed Order of Continuance? Is there anything else that normally has to accompany it (notice, certificate of service, etc.)?

I'm not asking Reddit to determine whether the judge will grant the continuance. I'm specifically trying to identify the correct documents/procedure I need to follow so I don't show up Friday having missed something I was supposed to file.

Thank you for any Virginia-specific guidance.

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping to hear from people who have actually been through this because I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed.

I'm in Virginia and my divorce is contested due to my spouse not wanting to pay spousal support and some apparent property issues on his end. I had an attorney representing me, but she unexpectedly stopped practicing law and her firm withdrew from my case. I now have a new hearing next Friday and an October trial date, so I'm scrambling to retain new counsel as quickly as possible.

The attorney I met with yesterday charges $400/hour with an $8,000 retainer, which unfortunately is pretty standard for a contested case in my area. I don't doubt that he's too expensive, but I simply don't have $8,000 in cash.

For context:

- I'm a 100% disabled veteran

- I work part-time

- I currently don't have access to marital funds

- Legal Aid denied me because my VA disability compensation puts me over their income limit

I've spent the last day applying for personal loans and have only been approved for a few hundred dollars here and there.

I'm trying to think outside the box, including looking into borrowing against separate investments, but I'm wondering what other people in similar situations actually did.

If you needed a large retainer during your divorce:

- How did you come up with the money?

- Were you able to get a personal loan, line of credit, or another type of financing?

- Did your attorney allow a smaller initial retainer or a payment plan?

- Was anyone able to get attorney's fees advanced from marital assets or ordered paid by the other spouse?

I'm not looking for ways to avoid paying my attorney, I'm just trying to bridge the gap so I can hire someone before my upcoming hearing. I'd really appreciate hearing what worked (or didn't work) for you.

Thanks!

I'm wondering if anyone with chronic illness experiences this, even though I'm sure it's more common than it feels.

I've been trying to shower all day and I just...can't make myself do it. It's been about a week since I showered and two weeks since I washed my hair, so it's not that I don't know it needs to happen.

The best way I can describe it is that my brain feels like a stubborn toddler saying "no." The more I think about showering, the less I want to do it.

The thing is, I think part of it may be because my body expects what comes afterward. A shower (especially washing my hair) usually leaves me exhausted, often flares my back pain, and can wipe me out for the rest of the day. I'm already dealing with a bunch of fatigue this week and I'm on my period, so it almost feels like my brain is trying to protect the little energy I have left.

The usual advice doesn't help me. Thinking about "future me," reminding myself I'll feel better afterward, trying to pace myself with smaller steps, even external rewards don't seem to work.

Has anyone found ways to get past this when your body has learned that certain necessary tasks come with a high physical cost? I'm less interested in generic advice we all hear every day advice and more interested in adaptations or mindset shifts that have actually helped. Bonus points if it's super weird.

How the hell are the rest of you, if you are able, keeping your houses clean without outside help??

Im going absolutely bonkers trying to maintain my house, despite only existing in my chronic illness couch nest, and I feel like it's next to impossible to do! I have a longterm partner who doesnt live with me, but his visits lately are very few and inconsistent (i know trust me 🙄). I cant afford to hire regular help but its driving me insane lately. The heat is especially making things worse for me...so having to also push through the pain to get the task done is just making me miserable.

Hi! I'm Beth or Liz or Lizzy or on one odd occasion Lizard. I'm 36, live on the east coast of the US, and recently realized that most of my conversations are with my dog, my cat, or ChatGPT. The animals at least pretend to listen.

I'm currently surviving the chaos of starting grad school for social work, learning to coexist with a body that has decided collecting diagnoses is a competitive sport, and trying to convince myself that buying another notebook will not magically make me organized.

Personality-wise, I'm somewhere between "cozy goblin who wants to stay home with tea and documentaries" and "please tell me everything about that incredibly niche topic you've been obsessing over for the last six months."

Things I can talk about for an unreasonable amount of time:

- Psychology and why humans are delightfully weird.

- ADHD, autism, and the strange things our brains do.

- Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter lore.

- Bob's Burgers.

- Ghost stories, folklore, mythology, and all things spooky (the fun kind, not the horror movie kind).

- Creative projects, journaling, therapy office ideas, random science facts, and the occasional existential crisis over why we all have to remember to eat every day.

I'm looking for genuine conversation with people who enjoy talking about both serious things and completely ridiculous things. Bonus points if you're the type of person who sends a picture of a weird mushroom you found or messages someone because you remembered a conversation from three weeks ago.

I'm not the best at small talk, but if we skip straight to "What's the weirdest thing you've learned recently?" we'll probably get along just fine.

Icebreaker: If you had to spend the next year becoming an expert in something completely random (not something useful), what would you choose and why?

So, I (36F) knew that the first 24-48 hours could be rough after my first dose of Kesimpta. But has anyone else had no response right away but a response a few days later?

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Im asking because I took my first injection on sunday night before bed. Its now Friday night and ive been feeling like absolute garbage since yesterday.

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Symptoms include: bad headache, eye-heavy fatigue, random pain zings, dizziness, and lightheadedness.

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Im curious if having a delayed reaction is common or if it is re-activating a previous virus i had. And also wondering if the reaction is something I need to message my neurologist about or if its not to fret over.

Im currently having some issues with my new-ish rescue dog.

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I got her from the rescue, who didnt mention any issues, in the beginning of this past March.

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She continuously keeps going to the bathroom in the house (specifixalky in the master bathroom) every time I go to sleep, even if she is let out right before bed. She also likes to find and pull out trash all over the living room while i sleep. The weird thing is that she wont do it if im in the room with her. But I cant sleep in two rooms at once.

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Ive thought about crating her at night, but im not sure what her past history with crating is. I do know, thanks to a destroyed door, that she has severe separation anxiety for which we've started her on trazodone for. And I do use KOE to clean the bathroom after her accidents, so i dont know why she keeps going back to that spot.

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Im kind of at a loss with what to do for her.

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She is about 3 years old. Breed is unclear but we're guessing she's a german shepherd and maybe cattle dog mix of some kind.