u/ChillLebo

Every time I feel off emotionally or act in way that I regret later i always sit with myself and think is it because of weed and how it affected my brain. Is that really me why did i do that and such. It's such a weird feeling I was smoking for 1.5 years(relapsed) and been sober for 3 months. I feel no cognitive changes and i don't see myself improving much i still feel like a stoner but without the weed Shit is weird. The depression is much worse and the loneliness from cutting off my stoner friends sucks too. I keep feeling emotionally/mentally unstable. Eventhough i barely get any dopamine throughout the day just cigarettes and gym. I don't even scroll social media or play any games(anhedonia probably)

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I (25M) her (22F).There was a lot of tension in the relationship and at some point i thought Fuck it I had to let go that's nearly 3 months ago but she hasn't escaped my mind ever since. I tried to fix things and explain my pov at first only for her to tell me i need to think about it.

1.5 MONTHS later I call her and give an ultimatum and she says she is not ready and I need to move on

Anyways i accepted the decision full heartedly and moved on only for her to text me 1 month later that she was thinking about texting me "yesterday" but it seems to her that my mentality hasn't changed because my Instagram activity LoL

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I honestly laughed and thought that was such a lame excuse because i would give a kidney to get back like wtf.

Anyways Curiosity killed the Cat and i ended up calling a week later only for her to utterly reject all my addvances which made me furious and lash out becuase i moved on and was feeling much better overall. Now i feel guilty again I stated that her Instagram activity wasn't any better sent sc(stupid ik). and accused her of playing games with me since if these reflect her mentality as well and if they do then she's dead to me (most were about having a bf and situation ships shit like that)

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She denied everything which i honestly believe for personal reasons. I told her the moment you decide to have any contact with anyone is the point of no return which she said she respects that and i told her it's a 0 or 100 for me so I'll never contact or see her face ever again if we don't amend things.

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I acted emotionally and seriously feel off I could have worded it much better I just felt disrespected and lead on. She said she was disappointed and disrespected.

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Any advice moving forward should I send a text like " i have nothing but respect for you and i hope you have a great life ahead. Only destiny can determine if we'll end up together take care please don't reply" or just shut the door entirely and accept the things and move on all over again

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This is just so aweful i hate how i fucked up and destroyed a 2 year relationship with someone really special who loved me deeply she is such a sweetheart.

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Please Women give me advice

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I'll shoot my shot 26M looking for some friends IRL idc about gender. I mostly like playing chess and having some coffee outside. I'm down for doing anything exciting as long as it's fun. Maybe we can open a business or hustle together if anyone has any ideas.or maybe learn something or go on trips/travel. That kinda stuff . A great bonus would be if you can introduce me to your group Cheers👌

I'm an Industrial Engineer and i want to pursue a masters degree but I'm not sure if i should get a Technical(Manufacturing,Production,Design) focused Msc or aBusiness(Management, QC,Supply Chain) focused Msc. What do you guys suggest given your experience and job market? Is it worth it pursuing a technical role or are these too saturated nowadays

Please be honest I already paid the deposit thinking private Unis in germany are the same as EVERYWHERE else on earth. I was kinda desperate and wanted to gtfo of my country because of certain events. Anyways the Consultants sold me the idea that BSBI and SRH are my only options and i thought they were reputable turns out it was probably all a scam. Should I just cut my losses and change my trajectory idk anything about germany but they assured me that this was the best and most reliable way to get to a masters degree in Europe.

Thank you

How do you deal with them? It seems that every time i do any kind of excessive movement every few months or so. My back flares up and I'm in pain for 2-4 weeks not only pain i basically can't sit or sleep properly at all.

I'm Lebanese but i have a huge soft spot for syria. I've followed the history, politics, culture, and war very closely ever since my teenage years. It's weird but i feel like I align much more with syrian culture/lifestyle than i do with lebanon. I know syria is very diverse but I'm talking in general terms. I want to test out this theory and see for myself whether that is true or am being delusional about life in syria and the lifestyle/culture of the syrian people. I want to visit soon but i dont have a plan or anyone to meet/show me around which made me put it off for a long time.

I remember nearly 2 years ago when I quit smoking for nearly 10 months and life was going great for me until i got the bright idea that I'm a beast who can now control my smoking habit. I vividly remember the first time i smoked after that long break and how I felt like my life had been on pause for 10 months and just restarted the moment i took the first hit it was such a weird and other worldly feeling. Straight up switched from 1st person to 3 rd person pov kinda shit. Something like finishing a filler episode and getting back to the main plot haha.

Ever since that day the weed creeped back into my life little by little and started as a once a week to only weekends to all day everyday all over again. I basically lost everything again. I remember how i would lurk on this sub and think people here are WEAK because they can't control the weed. I thought i was tough and special and i could control it.

I was foolish please don't make the same mistake i did you'll never control it once you've become a real stoner you'll always go back to becoming a stoner if you crack the door even slightly open. Take that as a warning. The amount of grief and suffering is immense and relapsing after a long period of sobriety makes quitting highly emotional and very tough. I feel immensely foolish that i allowed that substance to trick me again and take over what little progress i had made in my life.

Thank you for reading