u/Choice-Jellyfish6866

am going to be starting therapy next week. As I work a 9-5, it is awkward finding a therapist who is available when I'm not working. I'd prefer in person but everyone I could find only did virtual after 5pm and most of them only did this 1 or 2 days a week I found a therapist that I will be seeing and I will have my sessions on Tuesdays at 5:30.

I live with my girlfriend in a two bedroom apartment but the walls are quite thin and even with the doors closed it's still pretty easy to hear noises from other rooms.

This makes me uneasy as I don't want anyone overhearing my sessions. I asked my girlfriend if she would go to the gym when my sessions are on as she goes a few times a week anyway.

She said no as she does classes at the gym and they aren't on on a Tuesday. I suggested seeing family or friends but she refused those options too. I asked if she'd mind using headphones for the hour I'm at in the session just so I know I'm not going to be overheard.

She refused and said she shouldn't have to wear headphones in her home but I just mentioned that it was a pretty small ask since it was just for one hour a week.

She refused again and said I shouldn't be expecting her to do it but I just told her it was a small favour to ask but she told me I should drop it.

AIW for expecting a small favour?

I’ve just had a big birthday for me and my girlfriend and we’re on holiday during my birthday. We go on holiday each year anyway, this place was just a bit further away than we usually go. 

We both paid 50% of the cost of the trip so it’s not like it’s a birthday present or anything. When it came to my actual birthday my girlfriend mentioned she hadn’t actually gotten me anything since we’re on holiday so that’s for my birthday. I pointed out the trip isn’t a birthday present since I had paid for myself. She just shrugged and said she’d still paid half of the cost so this was my birthday present. 

I again just pointed out we go on holiday each year so it’s a bit shitty she hadn’t bothered to actually get me anything but she just called me ungrateful since we had the holiday. 

AITA for being disappointed my girlfriend got me nothing for my birthday?

I live with my girlfriend, and last week she went to catch up with a friend she hasn’t seen in a while m.

This morning she said She’d already planned for us to go out for dinner and drinks with them tomorrow m then come back to ours afterward for a games night. I asked why she set all that up without running it by me first when she knew I’d planned a relaxing evening tomorrow as I’m pretty burnt out from work.

I mentioned that when it comes to having people over, it’s only fair for both of us to agree.

I suggested we hold off and plan something with them when we’re all available. She wasn’t happy about that and said it was just one evening, and she didn’t think it was too much to ask.

I told her that if we’d talked about it ahead of time, she wouldn’t be in a position where she’d have to cancel.

She thinks I’m being unreasonable and said it’s her right to have her friends over sometimes, but I told her that any guests should be something we both agree on. I wouldn’t make plans to bring people back here without checking in with her, and I don’t think she should either.

AITA for not wanting guests in the apartment?

I live with my girlfriend, and last week she went to catch up with a friend she hasn’t seen in a while m.

This morning she said She’d already planned for us to go out for dinner and drinks with them tomorrow m then come back to ours afterward for a games night. I asked why she set all that up without running it by me first when she knew I’d planned a relaxing evening tomorrow as I’m pretty burnt out from work.

I mentioned that when it comes to having people over, it’s only fair for both of us to agree.

I suggested we hold off and plan something with them when we’re all available. She wasn’t happy about that and said it was just one evening, and she didn’t think it was too much to ask.

I told her that if we’d talked about it ahead of time, she wouldn’t be in a position where she’d have to cancel.

She thinks I’m being unreasonable and said it’s her right to have her friends over sometimes, but I told her that any guests should be something we both agree on. I wouldn’t make plans to bring people back here without checking in with her, and I don’t think she should either.

AITA for not wanting guests in the apartment?

I’m 29 and from the ages of 20-25 I had a friendship group that I used to meet up with regularly. We’d go out a few times a month. There was 5 of us, 2 women and 3 men. Outside of meeting as a group I used to talk more to one of the men, let’s call him Will and one of the women, let’s call her Sophie. 

In recent years we’ve drifted apart, some have had kids and don’t really meet up anyone, others have moved away so we’re not really in touch. Will doesn’t really talk to any of us anymore and Sophie moved away a few years ago. 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years and at the weekend we were out shopping and we bumped into Sophie. I introduced her to my gf and she mentioned she moved back a couple of weeks ago. She said it would be good to catch up and invited my gf and I put for drinks. I said it sounds good and agreed. 

When we got home my gf said she wouldn’t be going and also said it was disrespectful for me to go drinking with another woman on my own. I pointed out the only reason we’ll be on our own is because she’s refusing to do and said she can’t expect me to cancel plans just because she doesn’t want to go. 

She again said I was being disrespectful and said I should be cancelling but I refused. She said I was being unreasonable and that I wasn’t asking for much. 

AIO for refusing to cancel plans to go for drinks? 

I have been with my gf for over 4 years. We live in the UK and I currently work full time and work is pretty stressful this year so far.

As a hobby I like to play video games to unwind. I mainly play single player games since I like a good story. In September-october there are quite a few games coming out that I really want to play.

I decided I would take 4-5 days leave to have a nice week off in October and enjoy playing them. I mentioned this to my gf and she said it would be a waste of leave since I get 10 days off over Christmas anyway.

I pointed out that I'd be busy for most of that since I'd be seeing family on Christmas day and boxing day, my gf and I have plans to go away for a couple of nights etc so while it will be a fun 10 days, it won't be relaxing.

She just repeated its a waste of leave especially if we're looking at a small holiday abroad in January-February time. I told her this won't affect that and I'll still have the leave. I told her it's my leave to use as I please and me taking a week off in October does not affect her at all.

She just repeated that it's a week less that we'll be able to use for things for us both to do.

AIO for taking a week off to play video games?

I have been with my gf for over 4 years. We live in the UK and I currently work full time and through my job, they pay to put me through a lot of exams. I na due to finish them over the summer.

As a hobby I like to play video games to unwind. I mainly play single player games since I like a good story. In September-october there are quite a few games coming out that I really want to play.

I decided as a treat for myself for doing the exams I would take 4-5 days leave to have a nice long weekend in October and enjoy playing them. I mentioned this to my gf and she said it would be a waste of leave since I get 10 days off over Christmas anyway. I pointed out that I'd be busy for most of that since I'd be seeing family on Christmas day and boxing day, my gf and I have plans to go away for a couple of nights etc so while it will be a fun 10 days, it won't be relaxing.

She just repeated its a waste of leave especially if we're looking at a small holiday abroad in January-February time. I told her this won't affect that and I'll still have the leave. I told her it's my leave to use as I please and me taking a week off in October does not affect her at all.

She just repeated that it's a week less that we'll be able to use for things for us both to do.

AIW for booking 4-5 days off to play video games?

I’m 29 and from the ages of 20-25 I had a friendship group that I used to meet up with regularly. We’d go out a few times a month. There was 5 of us, 2 women and 3 men. Outside of meeting as a group I used to talk more to one of the men, let’s call him Will and one of the women, let’s call her Sophie. 

In recent years we’ve drifted apart, some have had kids and don’t really meet up anyone, others have moved away so we’re not really in touch. Will doesn’t really talk to any of us anymore and Sophie moved away a few years ago. 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years and at the weekend we were out shopping and we bumped into Sophie. I introduced her to my gf and she mentioned she moved back a couple of weeks ago. She said it would be good to catch up and invited my gf and I put for drinks. I said it sounds good and agreed. 

When we got home my gf said she wouldn’t be going and also said it was disrespectful for me to go drinking with another woman on my own. I pointed out the only reason we’ll be on our own is because she’s refusing to do and said she can’t expect me to cancel plans just because she doesn’t want to go. 

She again said I was being disrespectful and said I should be cancelling but I refused. She said I was being unreasonable and that I wasn’t asking for much. 

AITA for refusing to cancel plans to go for drinks? 

My girlfriend and I had a big holiday planned for this week. We were supposed to be going to the US for my birthday. It’s the most expensive trip we’ve done and one we were really looking forward to as we usually just stick to European holidays since we live in the UK. The trip cost us around £1600. 

My gf has depression and has been feeling low recently. We were supposed to travel to the airport yesterday and my gf said she doesn’t think she can do it. She said she’s not feeling great and knows she won’t enjoy it. 

I asked if she was serious and pointed out she knows how excited I was for it and knew the trip was supposed to be for my birthday. She said I should be supportive but I just pointed out she completely disregarded me when choosing to cancel the trip. 

I told her I want the money back that I’ve spent on the holiday. She said I wasn’t being fair and that it’s too much to give me but I just told her I expect her to pay me back since she’s the reason the trip hasn’t gone ahead. 

She’s called me uncaring but I just pointed out to her again she didn’t give me a second thought when choosing to cancel our holiday and she can’t expect t me to just be happy about it. 

AITA for expecting her to reimburse me?

My girlfriend and I live together and we’ve been together for 5 years. She suffers from depression and it’s had an impact on her jobs. She hasn’t been unemployed but she’ll have high sickness and eventually start looking for other jobs.

When she gets one her mood will improve but it’ll eventually start over again. She’s been in her current job for two years and she’s had a lot of sickness over the last year. They’ve told her one more sick period and she’ll lose her job.

I love just been offered a good, better paying job in a nearby town which I’ll be starting in August. We currently split bills 50/50. My girlfriend is talking about being off sick as her depression is bad and mentioned since she’ll lose her job I’ll have to pay for anything.

I pointed out that’s not feasible since it’ll mean instead of having a pay rise, I’ll actually have a pay cut since I currently work from home so have to factor in travel for my new job. I said I’d be over £250 a month worse off and that we can’t afford for her to lose her job.

She said I was dismissing her mental health but I just pointed out bills still need paying and that while I do sympathise with her, it doesn’t mean I can just take on the complete financial burden. I said the timing is convenient that the second I get a better paying job she’s looking to lose her job and expect me to pay for everything.

She called me unsupportive and said I should be willing to help her out but I just said again that I’ve already explained why I  can’t. I said she’ll just have to look for other jobs and keep at her current one until something else comes up.

AIO for refusing to pay all of the rent and bills?

This year is quite been stressful for me as I've got a lot going on with family while also having work problems and starting a new job etc. Video games are a hobby I've enjoyed since I was young and I usually get new games whenever they come out but that’s not possible this year.

My girlfriend has started talking about Christmas and what our plans are. We both get the time off between Christians day and New Year’s Day off so we dont go back until January 4th but ill be putting some leave in an not going back until the 7th at the earliest depending on how much leave I've got left.

I mentioned us going away for the night as we usually do and maybe going on a day out or two. I also mentioned I was planning to get the video games that are coming out this year that I want to plan and spending 2-3 days of my time off just relaxing and playing them.

She mentioned that she doesn't think I should. She said it'll be expensive getting them all and that I shouldn't be spending that much money on them at once and that it is a lot of time to spend on them when we're off work. I pointed out I’ll be getting them over the next few months so I’m not pulling the money out all at once so it’s affordable.

I’ll be getting probably 6-7 games that have been released this year so the average cost will probably be £45-£55 per game possibly less depending on if they’re in a sale.

I pointed out it's my money and that I'd still be able to afford bills and the plans we've got so it's not really up to her how I spend my money.

She said I should be listening to her and open to changing what I had planned so I should only get one or two games and only spend a few hours on it. I refused and just repeated again that it's my money and time and it doesn't impact anything we have planned.

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this or have any other views on it?

When I was at university I had a close friendship group with the people I lived with. There were 4 guys and two girls.

We all planned to go on holiday together to celebrate finishing but due to other circumstances it didn’t end up happening.

We're all from different cities and have different schedules and commitments so it has been impossible to all get together so we haven’t all met up in a few years now.

One of the guys made a group chat and mentioned us all going on the holiday and said we should do it this summer. We all agreed and started looking at hotels, hostels, airbnbs etc.

I told my gf what we were planning and she asked if she was invited. I said on since it was just the friendship group to catch up and no one is bringing their partners.

She said she found it weird I was going on holiday without her and that she thinks she should be invited. I said no again and explained again what the trip was for.

She repeated that she thinks she should be coming or that I shouldn't be going but I just told her there's nothing wrong with going on holiday without your partner.

She said I was being disrespectful towards her by going on holiday with other women.

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this peg and any other views on it?

My girlfriend suffers from depression and anxiety. It tends to get bar around work and can be worse on an evening when we go to bed when she has work the next day. 

A problem I’m having is she’s started waking me up when she’s feeling low. This is meaning she’s waking me up 2-3 times a night and it’s taking me a long time to get back to sleep. 

At the weekend I asked her if she could stop waking me up. I said she needs to find other ways to cope on a night when she’s feeling like that. 

I pointed out I was losing a few hours sleep a night because of it and it’s not fair. She called me unsupportive and said she does it because she feels shit and just wants a hug etc but I just told her while I understand that, It’s not fair to me that I’m becoming sleep deprived because of it, 

She called me unsupportive but I just asked how she was supporting me by waking me up repeatedly and stopping me getting a full nights sleep. She got upset and said I was being too harsh towards her but I disagreed. 

AIO for telling her to stop waking me up?

I’m 29 and from the ages of 20-25 I had a friendship group that I used to meet up with regularly. We’d go out a few times a month. There was 5 of us, 2 women and 3 men. Outside of meeting as a group I used to talk more to one of the men, let’s call him Will and one of the women, let’s call her Sophie. 

In recent years we’ve drifted apart, some have had kids and don’t really meet up anyone, others have moved away so we’re not really in touch. James doesn’t really talk to any of us anymore and Sophie moved away a few years ago. 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years and at the weekend we were out shopping and we bumped into Sophie. I introduced her to my gf and she mentioned she moved back a couple of weeks ago. She said it would be good to catch up and invited my gf and I put for drinks. I said it sounds good and agreed. 

When we got home my gf said she wouldn’t be going and also said it was disrespectful for me to go drinking with another woman on my own. I pointed out the only reason we’ll be on our own is because she’s refusing to do and said she can’t expect me to cancel plans just because she doesn’t want to go. 

She again said I was being disrespectful and said I should be cancelling but I refused. She said I was being unreasonable and that I wasn’t asking for much. 

AITA for refusing to cancel plans to go for drinks? 

I’m 29 and from the ages of 20-25 I had a friendship group that I used to meet up with regularly. We’d go out a few times a month. There was 5 of us, 2 women and 3 men. Outside of meeting as a group I used to talk more to one of the men, let’s call him Will and one of the women, let’s call her Sophie. 

In recent years we’ve drifted apart, some have had kids and don’t really meet up anyone, others have moved away so we’re not really in touch. Will doesn’t really talk to any of us anymore and Sophie moved away a few years ago. 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years and at the weekend we were out shopping and we bumped into Sophie. I introduced her to my gf and she mentioned she moved back a couple of weeks ago. She said it would be good to catch up and invited my gf and I put for drinks. I said it sounds good and agreed. 

When we got home my gf said she wouldn’t be going and also said it was disrespectful for me to go drinking with another woman on my own. I pointed out the only reason we’ll be on our own is because she’s refusing to do and said she can’t expect me to cancel plans just because she doesn’t want to go. 

She again said I was being disrespectful and said I should be cancelling but I refused. She said I was being unreasonable and that I wasn’t asking for much. 

AIO for refusing to cancel plans to go for drinks? 

Last year my girlfriend reconnected with a couple of friends she hadn’t seen in a few years. They tend to meet up every couple of months for food and drinks. 

They’re both in relationships and my gf mentioned that one of her friends, let’s call her Hannah, has a bf who takes drugs quite regularly. This is all from what Hannah is saying so it’s true it’s not just a rumour. 

I’ve had issues with addiction in my family and have lost family members to addiction so I refuse to associate with people who casually use drugs. 

My girlfriend mentioned her and Hannah have been talking about a double date. I refused and explained to her why I wouldn’t be comfortable doing it. She asked again and said it might be fun. 

I refuse and repeated my reasons for not wanting to do it. She argued I should be fine doing it for her but I told her to drop it and pointed out she knows why I’m not doing it. 

AITA for refusing to go on a double date?

My girlfriend and I live together and have discussed buying a house late next year. We agreed it would be in our current town. She works in a nearby town but it’s a short commute and I primarily work from home.

I applied for a new job last month and it’s in the town my gf works in. We agreed to potentially look for houses there if I get the job since it is an in person job. I could have selected other locations including a city fairly close to us but we discussed it and the commute would just be too long,

I got offered the job and I start in 6 weeks. My gf has depression and has low periods. She’s currently feeling low and is mentioning buying a house in the city near us instead as it’s a nicer area with more to do as we currently live in a small town that isn’t great. I pointed out that would mean me commuting an hour each way for 3-4 days a week which I wouldn’t be doing.

I said she’s can’t be this erratic with major life decisions and can’t let her low mood just throw all plans out of the window. She said she wasn’t but I pointed out she’s started feeling low and is suddenly talking about moving somewhere new and changing her job. I said the commute isn’t just long, it would be expensive.

She said the increase in pay would pay for it but I just said I’m not taking a better job to just spend all of my extra money on travel costs then spend more on living costs since we’d be in an expensive area so I’d be worse off financially and have 2 hours a day less free time.

She said I could look for something else but I refused since I was looking forward to starting this job and I’m not going to be immediately looking to leave.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I pointed out she’s the one wanting us to uproot our lives just because she’s feeling low. I said I won’t be moving and she called me unsupportive and said I should be considering it.

AIO for refusing to buy a house in another city?

When I was at university I had a close friendship group with the people I lived with. There were 4 guys and two girls.

We all planned to go on holiday together to celebrate finishing but due to other circumstances it didn’t end up happening.

We're all from different cities and have different schedules and commitments so it has been impossible to all get together.

One of the guys made a group chat and mentioned us all going on the holiday and said we should do it this summer. We all agreed and started looking at hotels, hostels, airbnbs etc.

I told my gf what we were planning and she asked if she was invited. I said on since it was just the friendship group and no one is bringing their partners.

She said she found it weird I was going on holiday without her and that she thinks she should be invited. I said no again and explained again what the trip was for.

She repeated that she thinks she should be coming or that I shouldn't be going but I just told her there's nothing wrong with going on holiday without your partner.

She said I was being disrespectful towards her by going on holiday with other women.

AITA for refusing to invite my girlfriend on holiday?

I'm 27 now and between the ages of 17-26 I lost both of my parents, 3 out of 4 of my siblings, 1 aunt and 2 uncles. All of these were unrelated but because of this I hate going to funerals.

I will attend if it is close family member or friend but would rather not attend otherwise. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years.

My girlfriends friend recently lost her mum and my girlfriend has been trying to support her. The funeral is next week and my girlfriend said she was going to go to support her friend.

She asked if I would attend with her but I apologised and said I would rather not. She knows why I don't like funerals so I reminded her but she still asked again. She said it would mean a lot and that she doesn't want to go on her own.

I refused again and suggested she take another friend but she said she wanted me there. I said it's awful what has happened to her friend but I can't go to the funeral.

She said I was being unsupportive and it'll only be an hour or two out of the day but I just repeated again that I'm not going and she knows why.

She just said again that I was unsupportive and that I should be there with her.

AIO for refusing to go to a funeral?

For a while I’ve been feeling quite low for a few reasons. My social life is non existent. My friends from school who I kept in touch with have all moved away. I still speak to one of them but we never get time to meet up since he doesn’t live close,

I r tried downloading bumble BFF, looking for meet up groups in my area online and tried going to more events but nothing is working. I haven’t seen a friend in over a year and apart from my gf there’s no one I regularly talk to.

Last night it got a bit much and I broke down in tears. I mentioned to my gf how I was feeling and what’s been getting to me.

She immediately started complaining about how she only sees her friends once or twice a month, I asked if she was serious and she asked what I meant. I pointed out she immediately made everything all about her. I pointed out she has multiple friendship groups that she sees regularly.

I pointed out how bad I was feeling and instead of being there for me she used it as an opportunity to complain about her life instead.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said I needed support and instead of giving me that she chose to make everything about her.

She said I wasn’t being fair too harsh on her but I disagree.

AIO for telling her to stop making everything all about her?