u/CodeNameDread

https://www.reddit.com/u/CodeNameDread/s/sZdoM7JJDo

https://www.reddit.com/u/CodeNameDread/s/sZdoM7JJDo

https://www.reddit.com/u/CodeNameDread/s/syZDeZmzvH

https://www.reddit.com/u/CodeNameDread/s/jsgVZtp6te

https://www.reddit.com/u/CodeNameDread/s/syZDeZmzvH

https://www.reddit.com/u/CodeNameDread/s/CEUOQuVKfm

Navigating all of this has been proven to be difficult. I’ve kept everything, all texts, dates, and I will be adding the newest installment of what tests the company sent my medical professionals to check my functional capacity. Screenshots are going to be uploaded soon.

Buckle up!

When I returned to a new position where I’m employed, I received a text from HR. The representative was asking if I was okay or was having any issues. If I was, to let them know if they could help.

When that time came, I was told to get a functional capacity evaluation (FCE) performed to see if they could accommodate me with my health issues.

I asked the Physical Therapist during the test if that was all that they sent for job description, they confirmed it was.

They had me lift/walk with 20lbs a few times, watched my heart rate while I stepped up and down for a small length of time, and had me push a fixture meant to replicate a pallet jack loaded with 50 lbs.

My job duties were reported wrong during my workers compensation investigation as a supervisor didn’t report my injury when I reported my injury. The company bumped (demoted) me the day after I reported my injury, and moved me briefly another position

After being denied Workers Comp, I was directed to file for Short Term Disability with another of the companies insurance agencies, while waiting.

The Doctor didn’t have an exact end date so the paperwork was considered incomplete. I was still waiting for the MRI for my shoulder, and then a follow up appointment. I was also waiting for the WC company to make their determination.

The Doctor kept restrictions on me, and wanted me to go to PT, however with this being work related, I felt it best to switch to their panel of physicians

I went without payment from Nov. 29th until Dec. 27th 2024. The std company however made a mistake. They only paid me for 6/8 weeks by then. I received another 2 weekly payments, after explaining to the company the mistake I was seeing. (1/3/25, and 1/10/25).

The STD agency used the 6 week physical therapy as a start date for payment, not actually when I was told the company couldn’t accommodate, and the end date.

The payments were inconsistent only receiving 2 payments in February.
The payments became consistent after March until May 22nd.

I’ve always been a person of growth.

I believe we all should be trying to be a better version of ourselves than yesterday.

To do this we have to have accountability. It’s hard to think of one’s own faults and weaknesses. It’s hard to know what strengths we need to cultivate for our growth.

I try to see my faults in any given situation.
I give grace to everyone else, except myself.
I feel it’s important to reflect back and ask how I could have handled something better, what part did I have to play in it?

I don’t think it’s hard to see what part we play in our own suffering. Rather we chose to blind ourselves from the answers we don’t want to hear.

Spiraling down between the setbacks, disappointments, rejections, and cruelty of others.
We tell ourselves to push a little further, try harder,maybe if I, I hope, what’s wrong with me?

Why did I let myself this far down?

I hoped for something when every other sign was saying no chance.
I kept going out of hope, that things will get better. I kept going even when I knew I was disrespecting myself.

I don’t think one person can truly answer this question.

I’ve been asked if I felt I would be better off dead. My answer is always going to be yes, to live is to suffer. Does this mean I’m going to kill myself? NO!

I however I find it strange that when people speak about their problems, just to be told they’re exaggerating, it didn’t happen, or to get over it. Life isn’t fair.

What’s the point?
Why talk?

The guilt trip.

Now the campaign goes on to say people care about you. Stay alive for them. Don’t be selfish.

It seems more selfish to know someone is suffering, and forcing them to stay live. It’s as if all of these people “saving lives” are just keeping a working population, or a guilt free conscience.

Do you know yourself? If so are you able to interpret what your body is telling you?

Our bodies will adjust itself or compensate to maintain our center of gravity. We compensate by over/under utilizing certain muscles.
The compensation doesn’t happen in one area, it’s a chain of events impacting posture from toe to head.

I started with neck pain, then to my knees and hips, and down to malformed feet. I started researching each individually, but then stumbled across an image that linked it all together, from foot to head. It was a picture of what is called crossed muscle syndrome. This picture explained every pain that I have been going through.