u/Comfortable_Toe620

tl;dr :
My (M23) girlfriend (F25),with whom I was in a relationship for two years (the second one long-distance), says she feels an emptiness, even though the relationship is going well, and she's convinced she needs to break up. She's never told me about this specific issue, or any other problems, and now it's too late. We are trying to meet in person and I would like to make her understand that now that I know about the problem we can work on it together.

-------

My (M23) girlfriend (F25) says she feels great with me, notices that I treat her well, and is attracted to me. But at the end of the day, she feels empty.

To add, we've been together for two years, and the last one was long-distance. We saw each other every couple of weeks, but lately I haven't been able to visit her, so she traveled to see me. We have plans to move in toghether in a couple years, when I finish my studies.

I think recently, after some of my shortcomings, that she hasn't told me about, she believes that her sensations is a problem and is considering ending the relationship without giving me the chance to discuss it, she convinced herself that this is the only thing possible.

I've read about people having this feeling after a first date, as if they're afraid of building something good and already knowing it will end. I think she's not thinking too much about this feeling and can't make sense of it, entering into a state of self-sabotage and thinking she's settled with being with me, but I find it strange, since, as I repeat, everything else is perfect.

I think her biggest mistake was not telling me about it, and mine wasn't realizing it in time. But I wanted to ask: is it normal to feel empty, even when you're with someone with whom you have a truly great connection? How much of an impact do you think these shortcomings might have had?

Due to work reasons, we won't be able to see each other for three months, and she wants to break up before leaving. I was hoping to understand something more about what might be causing this feeling, since she can't explain it well either, and I only have one chance to talk to her and see if we can fix it.

Do you have any experience on something similar that you can share? Could a no-contact period help her understand if she truly doesn't feel anything or if the emptiness increases without my presence? Would it be better to mantain the relationship and try to overcome this issue between us?

My girlfriend (F25) says she feels great with me, notices that I treat her well, and is attracted to me. But at the end of the day, she feels empty.

To add, we've been together for two years, and the last one was long-distance. We saw each other every couple of weeks, but lately I haven't been able to visit her, so she traveled to see me.

I think recently, after some of my shortcomings that she hasn't told me about, she believes it's a problem and is considering ending the relationship.

I've read on this sub about people having this feeling after a first date, as if they're afraid of building something good and already knowing it will end. I think she's not thinking too much about this feeling and can't make sense of it, entering into a state of self-sabotage and thinking she's settled with being with me, but I find it strange, since, as I repeat, everything else is perfect.

I think her biggest mistake was not telling me about it, and mine wasn't realizing it in time. But I wanted to ask: is it normal to feel empty, even when you're with someone with whom you have a truly great connection? How much of an impact do you think these shortcomings might have had?

Due to work reasons, we won't be able to see each other for three months, and she wants to break up before leaving. I was hoping to understand something more about what might be causing this feeling, since she can't explain it well either, and I only have one chance to talk to her and see if we can fix it.

Do you have any experience on something similar that you can share? Could a no-contact period help her understand if she truly doesn't feel anything or if the emptiness increases without my presence?

It's her first time on deployment and she'll be gone for six months, with only a week of vacation after the first three months. Se has been acting strangely and doesn't want to talk about it in phone call or facetime.

We've been together for a little over two years, the second one being long-distance, where we saw each other in person every couple of weeks. During this time we talked about our future together and we agreed on everything. Although the relationship was going well, in the past three weeks she is texting me less and saying that she forgets to answer me. In the meantime we met in person and everything seemed to be going well. Some days ago i asked her what was wrong and she sad she's been thinking about breaking up, she also said no longer feels the spark (I think that's normal after two years).

Despite this, she admits she's happy with me, that I did a lot for her and that she would like to maintain our relationship, but maybe not as lovers. She's also exaggerating issues she's never talked about before, which could be resolved with enough time, saying she doesn't want to bring them with her and wants to focus on work. She seems confused about anything regarding why she wants to breakup and can't explain to me what is wrong.

Plus, she might think she's interested in a colleague, but I think spending a lot of time with someone in an environment like the military is normal, and it all depends on how you react to it. The fact that we're long-distance at the moment doesn't help at all. The problem is that for her, the mere fact that this interest has developed suggests she may no longer feel the same way about me, regardless of whether it's normal or not.

I'm worried she's self-sabotaging as a coping mechanism for the stress of her first deployment. Especially because she doesn't seem to know what she's feeling either. She admits she's extremely stressed and feels guilty about how she's treating me. I just want to make her understand that if she misses me during the deployment or needs someone to talk to, she can call me and I'm there for her. I also want to try to restart the relationship once she gets back, if she wants to.

My main fear is that I don't know if a period of No Contact would help or just make things worse as she will probably not have time to think about the relationship.

I don't have any problems waiting for three months and speaking with her as friend (not saying things like "I miss you", "I love you", etc.) and I was just looking for advice on how to not friend-zone myself in the meantime. How can I reignite the spark?

How can I calm her and convince her to have a calm conversation about it? Should I ignore the problem and stay in this vague state or risk facing her now that she is so stressed but before it is too late?

It's her first time on deployment and she'll be gone for six months, with only a week of vacation after the first three months. Se has been acting strangely and doesn't want to talk about it in phone call or facetime.

We've been together for a little over two years, the second one being long-distance, where we saw each other in person every couple of weeks. During this time we talked about our future together and we agreed on everything. Although the relationship was going well, in the past three weeks she is texting me less and saying that she forgets to answer me. In the meantime we met in person and everything seemed to be going well. Some days ago i asked her what was wrong and she sad she's been thinking about breaking up, she also said no longer feels the spark (I think that's normal after two years).

Despite this, she admits she's happy with me, that I did a lot for her and that she would like to maintain our relationship, but maybe not as lovers. She's also exaggerating issues she's never talked about before, which could be resolved with enough time, saying she doesn't want to bring them with her and wants to focus on work. She seems confused about anything regarding why she wants to breakup and can't explain to me what is wrong.

Plus, she might think she's interested in a colleague, but I think spending a lot of time with someone in an environment like the military is normal, and it all depends on how you react to it. The fact that we're long-distance at the moment doesn't help at all. The problem is that for her, the mere fact that this interest has developed suggests she may no longer feel the same way about me, regardless of whether it's normal or not.

I'm worried she's self-sabotaging as a coping mechanism for the stress of her first deployment. Especially because she doesn't seem to know what she's feeling either. She admits she's extremely stressed and feels guilty about how she's treating me. I just want to make her understand that if she misses me during the deployment or needs someone to talk to, she can call me and I'm there for her. I also want to try to restart the relationship once she gets back, if she wants to.

My main fear is that I don't know if a period of No Contact would help or just make things worse as she will probably not have time to think about the relationship. I'm also worried she'll find someone else during the mission if we decide to break up.

I don't have any problems waiting for three months and speaking with her as friend (not saying things like "I miss you", "I love you", etc.) and I was just looking for advice on how to not friend-zone myself in the meantime. How can I reignite the spark?

Also I want to know if it is common to panic like this before important changes in life like the one she is experiencing and if she might be exaggerating things because of it.

TLDR: Girlfriend is being deployed, is confused about what she feels and wants to break up but mantain a friendship. I want to make her realize that we can work on problems and that the loss of "the spark" can be temporary. I also think the deployment is playing a huge role on this.

It's her first time on deployment and she'll be gone for six months, with only a week of vacation after the first three months. Se has been acting strangely and doesn't want to talk about it in phone call or facetime.

We've been together for a little over two years, one of which was long-distance, where we saw each other in person every couple of weeks. During this time we talked about our future together and we agreed on everything. Although the relationship was going well, in the past three weeks she is texting me less and saying that she forgets to answer me. In the meantime we met in person and everything seemed to be going well. Some days ago i asked her what was wrong and she sad she's been thinking about breaking up, she also said no longer feels the spark (I think that's normal after two years).

Despite this, she admits she's happy with me, that I did a lot for her and that she would like to maintain our relationship, but maybe not as lovers. She's also exaggerating issues she's never talked about before, but which could be resolved with enough time, saying she doesn't want to bring them with her and wants to focus on work. She seems confused about anything regarding why she wants to breakup and can't explain to me what is wrong.

I'm worried she's self-sabotaging as a coping mechanism for the stress of her first deployment. Especially because she doesn't seem to know what she's feeling either. She admits she's extremely stressed and feels guilty about how she's treating me. I just want to make her understand that if she misses me during the deployment or needs someone to talk to, she can call me and I'm there for her. I also want to try to restart the relationship once she gets back, if she wants to.

My main fear is that I don't know if a period of No Contact would help or just make things worse as she will probably not have time to think about the relationship. I'm also worried she'll find someone else during the mission if we decide to break up.

I don't have any problems waiting for three months and speaking with her as friend (not saying things like "I miss you", "I love you", etc.) and I was just looking for advice on how to not friend-zone myself in the meantime. How can I reignite the spark?

Also I want to know if it is common to panic like this before important changes in life like the one she is experiencing and if she might be exaggerating things because of it.

I don't know if this is the right place to ask, but I saw other posts similar to mine.

It's her first time on deployment and she'll be gone for six months, with only a week of vacation after the first three months. Se has been acting strangely and doesn't want to talk about it in phone call or facetime.

We've been together for a little over two years, one of which was long-distance, where we saw each other in person every couple of weeks. During this time we talked about our future together and we agreed on everything. Although the relationship was going well, in the past three weeks she is texting me less and saying that she forgets to answer me. In the meantime we met in person and everything seemed to be going well. Some days ago i asked her what was wrong and she sad she's been thinking about breaking up, she also said no longer feels the spark (I think that's normal after two years).

Despite this, she admits she's happy with me, that I did a lot for her and that she would like to maintain our relationship, but maybe not as lovers. She's also exaggerating issues she's never talked about before, but which could be resolved with enough time, saying she doesn't want to bring them with her and wants to focus on work. She seems confused about anything regarding why she wants to breakup and can't explain to me what is wrong.

I'm worried she's self-sabotaging as a coping mechanism for the stress of her first deployment. Especially because she doesn't seem to know what she's feeling either. She admits she's extremely stressed and feels guilty about how she's treating me. I just want to make her understand that if she misses me during the deployment or needs someone to talk to, she can call me and I'm there for her. I also want to try to restart the relationship once she gets back, if she wants to.

My main fear is that I don't know if a period of No Contact would help or just make things worse as she will probably not have time to think about the relationship. I'm also worried she'll find someone else during the mission if we decide to break up.

I don't have any problems waiting for three months and speaking with her as friends (not saying things like "I miss you", "I love you", etc.) and I was just looking for advice on how to not friend-zone myself in the meantime.

Has anyone had any experience with this and want to share how it went? Do you have time to meet people during these training and patrol missions, or are you at work 24/7?

I don't know if this is the right place to ask, but I saw other posts similar to mine.

It's her first time on deployment and she'll be gone for six months, with only a week of vacation after the first three months. Se has been acting strangely and doesn't want to talk about it in phone call or facetime.

We've been together for a little over two years, one of which was long-distance, where we saw each other in person every couple of weeks. During this time we talked about our future together and we agreed on everything. Although the relationship was going well, in the past three weeks she is texting me less and saying that she forgets to answer me. In the meantime we met in person and everything seemed to be going well. Some days ago i asked her what was wrong and she sad she's been thinking about breaking up, she also said no longer feels the spark (I think that's normal after two years).

Despite this, she admits she's happy with me, that I did a lot for her and that she would like to maintain our relationship, but maybe not as lovers. She's also exaggerating issues she's never talked about before, but which could be resolved with enough time, saying she doesn't want to bring them with her and wants to focus on work. She seems confused about anything regarding why she wants to breakup and can't explain to me what is wrong.

I'm worried she's self-sabotaging as a coping mechanism for the stress of her first deployment. Especially because she doesn't seem to know what she's feeling either. She admits she's extremely stressed and feels guilty about how she's treating me. I just want to make her understand that if she misses me during the deployment or needs someone to talk to, she can call me and I'm there for her. I also want to try to restart the relationship once she gets back, if she wants to.

My main fear is that I don't know if a period of No Contact would help or just make things worse as she will probably not have time to think about the relationship. I'm also worried she'll find someone else during the mission if we decide to break up.

I don't have any problems waiting for three months and speaking with her as friends (not saying things like "I miss you", "I love you", etc.) and I was just looking for advice on how to not friend-zone myself in the meantime.

Has anyone had any experience with this and want to share how it went? Do you have time to meet people during these training and patrol missions, or are you at work 24/7?

It's her first time on deployment and she'll be gone for six months starting in June, with only a week of vacation after the first three months, in september.
Also, lately she's exaggerating some past issues, many of which can be resolved with time.

We've been together for a little over two years, one of which was long-distance, where we saw each other every couple of weeks. Although everything in the relationship is going well, for a month she's been saying she's drifting away emotionally and no longer feels the spark (I think that's normal after two years).

Despite this, she admits she's happy with me and would like to maintain our relationship, but maybe not as lovers. As I said, she's also exaggerating issues she's never talked about before, but which could be resolved, saying she doesn't want to bring them with her and wants to focus on work.

I'm worried she's self-sabotaging as a coping mechanism for the stress of her first deployment. Especially because she doesn't seem to know what she's feeling either. She admits she's extremely stressed and feels guilty about how she's treating me. I just want to make her understand that if she misses me during the mission or needs someone to talk to, she can call me and I'm there for her. I also want to try restart the relationship once she gets back, if she wants to.

My main fear is that I don't know if a period of No Contact would help or just make things worse. I'm also worried she'll find someone else during the mission if we decide to break up.

Has anyone had any experience with this and want to share how it went? Do you have time to meet people during these training and patrol missions, or are you at work 24/7?

It's her first time on deployment and she'll be gone for six months starting in June, with only a week of vacation after the first three months, in september.
Also, lately she's exaggerating some past issues, many of which can be resolved with time.

We've been together for a little over two years, one of which was long-distance, where we saw each other every couple of weeks. Although everything in the relationship is going well, for a month she's been saying she's drifting away emotionally and no longer feels the spark (I think that's normal after two years).

Despite this, she admits she's happy with me and would like to maintain our relationship, but maybe not as lovers. As I said, she's also exaggerating issues she's never talked about before, but which could be resolved, saying she doesn't want to bring them with her and wants to focus on work.

I'm worried she's self-sabotaging as a coping mechanism for the stress of her first deployment. Especially because she doesn't seem to know what she's feeling either. She admits she's extremely stressed and feels guilty about how she's treating me. I just want to make her understand that if she misses me during the mission or needs someone to talk to, she can call me and I'm there for her. I also want to try restart the relationship once she gets back, if she wants to.

My main fear is that I don't know if a period of No Contact would help or just make things worse. I'm also worried she'll find someone else during the mission if we decide to break up.

Has anyone had any experience with this and want to share how it went? Do you have time to meet people during these training and patrol missions, or are you at work 24/7?