u/Commercial-Class-689

What do you guys think of my melon story so far?

Chapter 1
10 years ago
Jack and Legoshi are playing in the park when they see a small gazelle kid crouching alone in the sandbox
“Sey, are you okay? Legoshi asks.
He noticed that the the gazelle kid is wearing a mask over his face
Don’t hurt me.
“I’m not gonna hurt you what’s your name? I am Legoshi
“It is melon I ran away from home because my mum hurt me.
“Oh, do you wanna play with me and Jack?
“Ok .
“Jack this is Melon he is a hybrid half gazelle half leopard. He ran away because his mom abused him.
“What did your mom do to abuse you’
“She made me undress her and she said if I tell anyone she would kill me.’
“That’s terrible., hey Legoshi’s mom is a hybrid too but doesn’t go out much I’m pretty sure she will adopt you’
“What type of hybrid is she?”
“half wolf half kimono dragon”
“ don’t ask. “
Soon after the boys got to Legoshi’s family’s apartment to see Legoshi’s dad Miyagi
Next to him was his grandfather Gosha a Komodo dragon
‘ dad and grandpa this is Melon he’s a hybrid who ran away from his abusive mother.Can he stay here?
‘Of course, son he can stay here I’ll tell leano. she came out of her room first for the first time in years her body was half covered in fur the other half green scales.

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u/Commercial-Class-689 — 3 days ago

I’m trying to write about a character that has mental disorders like PTSD and reckon nightmares of what they might become?

I want to try writing mental disorder as an Authentic as possible without going into the mental disorder equals evil category. What’s the best way to research?

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u/Commercial-Class-689 — 6 days ago

For my fanfic about melon becoming Legoshi’s adopted brother I’m thinking of having his more anime and manga Canon personality being dissociative identity disorder

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u/Commercial-Class-689 — 6 days ago

My first story chapter 1 working progress

The tension in the common room of class 1-a was so strong you could see it 

Tokoyami while being bullied over his bird like appearance accidentally hit Tsuyu with dark shadow after losing control of his anger. 

Aizawa came in “good news she’s okay she only lost a tooth “

First time writing a story based of the show.

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u/Commercial-Class-689 — 10 days ago