u/Conscious-Fluid

Not sure if this is a trigger warning but just in case (loss is mentioned)

I never thought I'd be making a post like this. But my husband (25) has been expecting me (26) to be a good "trad wife" and keep a positive attitude while caring for our 11 month old with almost no help, while cooking for him and catering to him while he's been sitting on his butt jobless for over a month. Thank God he recently got a job but I'm arguably still a bit bitter about how he refused to pick up home chores and family duties while unemployed. He's also made very rude comments and had low to no patience with me and can get very angry, has a short fuse over almost nothing.

That being the background, I decided to plan a trip to visit my hometown and see my family with my mom, cause trying to plan anything with this man is a nightmare and means it won't happen. (We moved over a year ago and haven't been even close to affording a trip home, flight or drive) So I talked to my mom and she and I have been planning a trip for a family reunion (my mom has been away from home, traveling as well and my brother also recently had a baby who hasn't met my baby! So there's lots of reasons to visit!) initially we wanted to plan a road trip for the fall like Sept and my mom changed her mind because she wants to leave the country, and sooner than later. The only reason that detail matters is because we decided to move the trip up to summer (June/July) so we've been talking about planning more and trying to get things into place. My and my husbands birthdays are both early July so I had the condition that we can't travel over our birthdays so my husband and I can be together for our birthdays. Pretty reasonable so far imo.

I had no reason to believe my husband could come with us on this road trip because 1) he recently got a job and 2) doesn't have the best relationship with my mom

So I never even considered a 10 hour road trip together as a possibility, and that's one way mind you.

I was talking with my mom about trip planning today and she mentioned that she could fly my husband out for the family reunion, maybe a weekend. This news caught me by surprise and I brought up the idea to my husband after he got home from work and settled in. This is where it goes sour.

He got upset and started saying that it felt like an afterthought to include him, that he gets to travel and fly by himself and went on a whole rant about if he was the one planning to see his family how I would feel to be flown out while he's driven home with his parents. I literally just had to leave the room.

But he followed me. So I snapped and started crying saying how he doesn't understand that I may be able to go see my family but I can't ever truly go back home because my dad is gone and our family home I grew up in is long since sold. He was like "oh, so I'm supposed to have empathy for a broad spectrum of things here." And I said no it's just one thing. My flipping family. I told him if it was his family and he was planning a trip I would be happy to have any part in it. And he just completely shut down. Saying something like "it's all me then" and like a small weak apology. But I'm not in the situation for that to fix anything that he's done.

He went on a rant about how Jesus should be enough to heal me from my grief and how I shouldn't need a therapist or anyone or anything outside myself and Jesus to overcome my big emotions about my past and losses. And I just couldn't. It was my turn to shut down. What on earth should I do in this situation??

I don't want to always be bitter towards my husband, I want to respect it if things I say are triggering to him, but will he ever realize that things he says being triggering to me also is a problem that needs fixed??

I'm pretty picky about girl names but I've been recently introduced to the name Alessandra, as a variation of Alexandra. While I don't think I would use it for a first name I'm curious what people think of it paired with a shorter first name used as a middle name. My ideas:

Aurora Alessandra

Iris Alessandra

Other names I like but I'm not completely sold on are

Siena Rose

Aurora Rose

Iris Miera

Anyone else craving a fourth meal right before bed?

I know it's not great for digestion and later in pregnancy makes sleep uncomfortable but I'm in my first few weeks of pregnancy and haven't had any reason to limit meals yet (no nausea or constipation yet) so I'm assuming its best to listen to the hunger cues?

Just here for some validation I suppose 😅

I'm pretty picky about names especially girl names. Our first baby has a deeply Christian name, named after an important biblical figure and we to keep up that tend for our future babies.

While I like that my son's name is traditional I tend to like less traditional girl names, especially the botanical or nature names, like Lily, Iris, Hazel, Willow, Rose

Biblical names that I like but wouldn't choose for my daughter are Elizabeth, Hannah, Leah, Eve, Shiloh, Eden (can't use bc it's my nieces name) Holly, Poppy, Amari

My husband likes Iris best of all of these and I would probably pair it in one of the following ways

Iris Rain (two syllable family name ending in E sound)

Iris Solome (__E)

If it's a boy I like the names Luke or Noah

Any ideas for combinations of these with middle names or new suggestions are welcome!

Content warning (self harm)

My husband (25) and I 26 have an 11m old baby. I've been so depressed and lately I've been feeling emotional neglect from my husband due to the things in this post(I also have had ppd and ppa) that I can barely remain calm and functional when he gets upset.

Usually my husband works and I stay home with our baby. So the at home chores being on my plate has generally made sense although he would rarely pitch in when he did get home aside from maybe feeding the dogs.

But right now my husband is between jobs and has been home for over a month. He has tried getting interviews and he's in a bit of a lul with that at the moment as everything has either been too low paying to be motivating for him to actually follow through with or ended up going with someone else.

While he's at home though I still am doing all the chores. 90% of the baby care, cook all the meals, do laundry, dishes, feed the dogs and take them out and the majority of cleaning. When our son was a newborn I did everything for him then too. All the night feeds all the naps every diaper every outfit change.

My husbands stress about unemployment is making his fuse shorter and irritability worse. he snaps on a regular basis. It's also affecting his self esteem and he questions if I want to be with him so he makes things about himself when I try to express my exhaustion to him.

The worst part to me is that he's so critical. A few months ago our son went through a really hard sleep regression and was fussy all day daily for over a week and I was stretched really thin. As our boy doesn't stay happy very long sitting in his dad's lap watching video games (one of the only ways he'll be willing to help). But I was getting frustrated with our son's bedtime routine and had been attempting to calm him for over an hour when I started to lose my cool and my husband could clearly tell that I was struggling but instead of trying to step in or offer comfort to me he said

"Maybe you aren't cut out for motherhood" and I kid you not I placed our baby down, stepped outside and fractured my hand on our metal ladder because I needed to hit something and I couldn't stop myself. (I have a history of self harm in this way but I hadn't hurt myself in years and never broken anything before- more like left bruises)

Anyway. That was a phase and our son isn't always that fussy, and my hand has since healed. But I can't help but feel like I'm doing this on my own. We also moved away from our families so my village, our village is over 10 hours away. It just hurts so much I never expected marriage to be this hard. I feel like my self esteem has taken a massive hit and sometimes I don't even recognize the things I'm saying because I just feel so far removed from myself.

I've told him how depressed I am, I've told him I need more support and that I might need meds. He doesn't think I need meds and hasn't changed at all since watching me decline so badly

I have half sisters who are much older than me and they both have kids. We named our first baby a name we both love, that happens to be his cousin's name as well, although it's not an uncommon name. They have very different middle names and both my sister's and I are married so none of us have my father's name anymore.

But I might be pregnant with a daughter and I have strongly debated naming her Eve, as it's one of the few girl names I can actually say I love.

But my other sister, who is a bit more distant and "not friendly" to put it nicely, has a daughter (hey only daughter) named Evie.

She is such a sweet girl and we connected instantly when we met but I haven't seen her since (yk how distant family can be) but would that - and not wanting to look like I'm copying both my sister's baby name choices - be enough not to use Eve for my daughter?

What would y'all do? Thanks

Hi Christians of reddit. I come seeking advice. My husband and I have been together for a little over two years and we have an 11 month old baby boy.

Prior to getting pregnant a couple years ago I was the breadwinner. I had been a successful nanny for three years at that time, but he assured me that I could and should be a SAHM. And that's always what my heart has wanted.

We had to move away from our hometown and families hoping to set up a better financial life a little over a year ago, but since then my husband has struggled to keep a steady job. He's had multiple jobs (four I think?) in the past year but they treated him terribly and he was getting pretty low pay. Minimum wage is like 9$ here. My son receives disability benefits so we've been somewhat living on government money to get by while he's job searching.

We have talked about wanting a big family and how many years we might feel like waiting to have more kids. Both of us feel like big age gaps create such strong sibling bonds. But... We also never really use birth control.

I've been paranoid about getting pregnant again because I had some health complications at the end of my first pregnancy, but we both (obviously) survived. Annd, just weeks away from our son's birthday, I found out I'm pregnant again! The line showed almost instantly, undeniably positive.

When I had a scare (since I was paranoid) last fall, hubby was pretty nervous about the idea of adding another mouth to feed. But I also feel like he will be happy once the news settles in? I don't know how to approach the subject and I won't want to take away from the excitement of our son's first birthday. But I don't want to keep it a secret either, I'm sure he needs time to process.

I guess I'm just looking for advice, maybe some encouragement. I'm excited about a bun in the oven I just want to tell him I'm a way that he will be excited too. 🥹

Thanks for reading, blessings

So my husband and I have been together for a little over two years, and we have a son who's almost one. We moved away from our hometown and our families for financial reasons a little over a year ago and haven't had a chance to travel home to visit yet, meaning almost no one has met our son, my mom is the only one who's come to visit.

This year will be my first mother's day and I realized yesterday that my husband probably has no intention of celebrating me. I don't think he even knows it's coming up.

My mom mentioned casually while planning to visit for my baby's birthday that I'll probably want to spend mother's day just me and my family... but truly I picture it to be just another day where I wake up and make coffee and make all the meals and my husband might say some words for gratitude if he remembers to. I didn't think he even knows how to celebrate me.

Im a SAHM and my husband has been out of a job for around a month. He's been getting irritated lately and hasn't been showing much patience for my mistakes. He doesn't want to help me with meals or the household even though he has plenty of time to. We've been arguing because I'm burnt out and exhausted from taking care of our son and doing everything else with no breaks for a whole year and when I hand off the baby to him he's usually reluctant and regularly loses patience with our baby. It's driving me crazy and part of me wishes my mom could just drive me back to my hometown for a couple days to just be with people who are actually happy to enjoy my company.

I know my husband loves me but he has a hard time being easy on himself which I think is translating over into little to no grace for his other half either. I don't know how to make anything better. When I tell him I'm exhausted he acts like doesn't know what to do about it. Like it's some big mystery that making meals, caring for our dogs, breastfeeding our son on demand and doing every little thing he asks is A LOT.

I was not born to be a laborer. I feel so much resentment that I don't know what to do with. It makes me feel like mother day will be just mundane as every other day when I'm not appreciated

I am new to this sub and can see from a short scroll that this is not the usual content for this sub. But, I am trying to write my first novel and want opinions of what more experienced Christian fiction writers think of my story idea.

I'm in my twenties and haven't read the entire Bible but I'm utilizing the help of my husband who has read the Bible many times as a resource while I story build.

Essentially, I'm attempting to tell a version of revelation set in the near future. If you're interested in giving me feedback and have experience in writing in this genre send me a pm. Thanks