u/ConsciousPrior5178

Hey everyone,
I’m going through a pretty weird period of my life right now and honestly, I don’t really know what to do.
A little over a year ago, I met a girl. We immediately knew we liked each other and got along really well. Everything was great for most of the relationship, until the last two months basically destroyed everything.
Out of nowhere, she started saying that she wanted a more “free” lifestyle — traveling around the world, going to clubs, music festivals, partying, etc. I’m pretty much the opposite. I’m more of a quiet person. I prefer going on trips, having dinner together, or just doing some kind of activity together.
I suspect she cheated on me, but I honestly never found out the truth. She just ended the relationship without really giving me a reason and then blocked me everywhere.
Before her, I was in a five-year relationship. Even though that relationship eventually stopped working and we broke up, I wasn’t devastated by it. I was sad for maybe two weeks and then I was basically back to normal and living my life.
This breakup has been completely different. I’m absolutely crushed. I have this feeling that I’m going to be alone forever.
I don’t really have a group of friends. I barely have any friends at all, and I don’t have a family either. After the breakup, even my work life started going to shit.
So here’s the actual problem.
I’m 26 years old and I live far away from where I grew up. I don’t have friends here, and basically every day I just play video games and rot at home because I have nothing else to do. Gaming is pretty much my main hobby.
I don’t necessarily need a big group of people around me. I have one or two friends from where I’m originally from, and we call each other every day just to talk, so I’m not completely isolated.
But how the hell do you find a partner when you basically never go anywhere?
And where are you even supposed to go when you don’t have any friends here?
I’m also not really interested in meeting some random girl in a club. That’s just not the kind of person I’m looking for.
I’ve tried dating apps like Tinder. Occasionally I match with someone I actually like, but then they’ll tell me that they like going out partying, clubbing, festivals, getting drunk, etc.
And honestly, it makes me feel sick sometimes because it immediately reminds me of my ex and what I suspect happened. It’s like I automatically start thinking that the same thing is going to happen again, and I don’t think I could handle going through that another time.
I’m honestly starting to feel pretty lost.
What would you do if you were in my position?
How would you actually meet someone if you’re 26, live somewhere without any friends, don’t really go out, and your main hobby is gaming?
I’d genuinely appreciate any advice, even if it’s harsh.

Hi everyone,
I’d really like to hear some outside opinions because I’ve been thinking about this a lot.
I’m 26, she’s 20. We were together for about a year. The beginning of our relationship was great. We got along really well and it felt like we shared the same values.
The first issue was something I’d describe as “wandering eyes.” Whenever we were out together, she’d often stare at other guys. I’m not talking about a quick glance—more like long, focused looks that sometimes even felt a bit flirty. I told her it bothered me. She admitted she was aware of it, apologized, and said she’d try to stop.
Early in the relationship, we also talked about our expectations. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with my girlfriend going to clubs all the time. Once in a while was completely fine with me, but I also wanted to know where she was going and who she was with. To me, that’s just normal communication in a relationship.
She agreed. She even said she wasn’t really into clubs anyway and that they’re mostly for single people. At the time, it seemed like we were completely on the same page.
Later, she told me she wanted to become a flight attendant. This is where I admit I made a mistake.
I immediately started imagining her constantly being away, traveling to different countries, and I remembered hearing plenty of stories from people saying that dating a flight attendant is really difficult. She told me she’d even give up that dream for me if I wanted her to.
In that moment, I told her to quit pursuing it.
The very next day she came back and said she’d rather break up than give up her dream. That made me realize I’d gone too far. I apologized, told her I had no right to stop her from chasing her dream, and said I’d accept it.
But after that, everything changed.
She started saying that staying home was never who she really was. She said she didn’t want to spend her life taking care of a home. She wanted to enjoy life, go clubbing, be around people, and that she didn’t care whether she was hanging out with men or women. She kept telling me I was holding her back.
The thing is… I never actually forbade her from doing anything.
I took her out regularly, we went on dates, trips, and did plenty of things together. Of course there were days when we’d just stay home or go for a walk, but I think that’s a completely normal part of a relationship.
Whenever she wanted to go somewhere, all I asked was where she was going and who she was with. I also tried suggesting compromises, but she rejected every single one.
Eventually, almost every argument became about how she felt I was stopping her from living the life she wanted.
Then came the final week.
She went to a multi-day music festival. The day before she left, she repeatedly begged me to delete every nude photo and video I had of her. She was unusually insistent about it, and I remember thinking it felt really strange.
She came back from the festival, and we were supposed to see each other on Tuesday.
Instead, on Monday, she broke up with me over the phone.
Before doing that, she removed me from all of her social media. What I found even stranger was that she also removed our mutual friends—not just my friends, but people we both knew.
That was the end of the relationship.
I’m genuinely curious what people think.
Was I being too controlling? Or does it sound like she realized she wanted a completely different lifestyle than the one she described at the beginning of the relationship?
And what do you make of the timing—asking me to delete all of her nudes right before leaving for a festival, then breaking up with me over the phone immediately after coming back? Am I reading too much into that, or would that raise questions for you too?

Hi everyone,
I’d really like to hear some outside opinions because I’ve been thinking about this a lot.
I’m 26, she’s 20. We were together for about a year. The beginning of our relationship was great. We got along really well and it felt like we shared the same values.
The first issue was something I’d describe as “wandering eyes.” Whenever we were out together, she’d often stare at other guys. I’m not talking about a quick glance—more like long, focused looks that sometimes even felt a bit flirty. I told her it bothered me. She admitted she was aware of it, apologized, and said she’d try to stop.
Early in the relationship, we also talked about our expectations. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with my girlfriend going to clubs all the time. Once in a while was completely fine with me, but I also wanted to know where she was going and who she was with. To me, that’s just normal communication in a relationship.
She agreed. She even said she wasn’t really into clubs anyway and that they’re mostly for single people. At the time, it seemed like we were completely on the same page.
Later, she told me she wanted to become a flight attendant. This is where I admit I made a mistake.
I immediately started imagining her constantly being away, traveling to different countries, and I remembered hearing plenty of stories from people saying that dating a flight attendant is really difficult. She told me she’d even give up that dream for me if I wanted her to.
In that moment, I told her to quit pursuing it.
The very next day she came back and said she’d rather break up than give up her dream. That made me realize I’d gone too far. I apologized, told her I had no right to stop her from chasing her dream, and said I’d accept it.
But after that, everything changed.
She started saying that staying home was never who she really was. She said she didn’t want to spend her life taking care of a home. She wanted to enjoy life, go clubbing, be around people, and that she didn’t care whether she was hanging out with men or women. She kept telling me I was holding her back.
The thing is… I never actually forbade her from doing anything.
I took her out regularly, we went on dates, trips, and did plenty of things together. Of course there were days when we’d just stay home or go for a walk, but I think that’s a completely normal part of a relationship.
Whenever she wanted to go somewhere, all I asked was where she was going and who she was with. I also tried suggesting compromises, but she rejected every single one.
Eventually, almost every argument became about how she felt I was stopping her from living the life she wanted.
Then came the final week.
She went to a multi-day music festival. The day before she left, she repeatedly begged me to delete every nude photo and video I had of her. She was unusually insistent about it, and I remember thinking it felt really strange.
She came back from the festival, and we were supposed to see each other on Tuesday.
Instead, on Monday, she broke up with me over the phone.
Before doing that, she removed me from all of her social media. What I found even stranger was that she also removed our mutual friends—not just my friends, but people we both knew.
That was the end of the relationship.
I’m genuinely curious what people think.
Was I being too controlling? Or does it sound like she realized she wanted a completely different lifestyle than the one she described at the beginning of the relationship?
And what do you make of the timing—asking me to delete all of her nudes right before leaving for a festival, then breaking up with me over the phone immediately after coming back? Am I reading too much into that, or would that raise questions for you too?

Me (26) and my girlfriend (21) have been together for around a year. Recently she told me she doesn’t want to feel “restricted” in the relationship, and now she wants to go to a music festival for 3 days in another city far away from home.

A week before that, she’s also getting lip fillers done, which probably shouldn’t matter, but combined with everything else it’s messing with my head.

We already had problems in the past because I wasn’t comfortable with her going clubbing a lot. I know how a lot of guys act in those environments, and even though I tried to work on my jealousy and control it, it still gives me a really bad feeling. I know I can’t lock someone at home, and I don’t want to be toxic, but it’s hard for me mentally.

Now the situation feels even worse because she’ll be gone for 3 days with a group of people I don’t even know, and they’re all from that city. I can’t stop thinking about it, overthinking every possible scenario, and honestly it’s making me question the whole relationship and even think about breaking up.

I don’t know if I’m insecure, controlling, or if my feelings are actually understandable here. I’d appreciate honest opinions.