u/ConstantOwl423

As someone new to healthcare, I recognize it's a very different environment I have come from. High workload, burnout, uncertainty, and many many more things which I won't list here.

I am looking for perspective - how do people keep going and not burnout? People who come here with a heart, what beliefs or perspectives do you implement for yourself to find meaning, stay regardless of burnout?

Also, what keeps you in healthcare despite the challenges (what perks do you see for yourself?)

I'm young myself - this isn't a post to bash any age group. I have 15+ years of experience because I started off early, but I'm still young (maybe 2-3 years older than the team). I come to a job where there are new grads. Even in first team meetings when we did introduction, I started off with my degree, previous experience, approach to the work and when others introduced themselves they said "hey I'm jack" "hey I'm bunny". I was surprised. And then came about 2 good introductions from "older" coworkers.

A bit of history I learnt after - there was a huge restructuring year ago, and all those young folks were hired rapidly. Older ones went on sick leave, left organization and just 2 of them were left. The manager came year ago who hired all the young folks and clicks very well with them and enjoys talking about boys and dating site (although manager is 10 years older than us)

This is a job which requires master's degree in social services and it's a gov job. So this isn't a retail job, it's professional. A common theme I saw is all the young folks, including the manager have their masters degree from a "diploma mill" type of universities which are private and literally anyone can get in. this is probably their first "office job"

I'm having trouble fitting in with the young ones. It's high school mean girls vibe. They go to washroom in groups "let's go pee" , barely acknowledge you and stay in their group. I learnt there was a huge clash between younger and older folks a year ago and now it has died down.

Manager is enabler. Once a coworker yelled swear word out loud and said oh sorry. Manager said oh that's ok, it's almost time to go home. Another time the girls were chatting and manager came and girls said oh party is over. Manager said I am one of you! Party isn't over! I wish I could just put my manager hat down. Another time a client complaint that your team is too young and inexperienced. Manager responded by reassuring team and said she has herself also gotten these comments and it's totally unfair.

We are able to work together, mostly my efforts of initiating small talk around work and their one word reply - but the work is done. I tried to initiate conversation with them when I was new, their first question was "how old are you (I'm 2-3 years older than them but way ahead in life milestones). They dislike me - lots of gossip amongst them. Hard to feel ortrosized. Some conflict resolution problems - I simply let them take the lead as I know I can't win with intellectual points either as they will think I'm full of myself.

I'm just having my own feelings around feeling unfair that they get paid same as me and are so behind me in knowledge, skills, and professionalism. I guess life is unfair. Any wisdom?

I'm young myself - this isn't a post to bash any age group. I have 15+ years of experience because I started off early, but I'm still young (maybe 2-3 years older than the team). I come to a job where there are new grads. Even in first team meetings when we did introduction, I started off with my degree, previous experience, approach to the work and when others introduced themselves they said "hey I'm jack" "hey I'm bunny". I was surprised. And then came about 2 good introductions from "older" coworkers.

A bit of history I learnt after - there was a huge restructuring year ago, and all those young folks were hired rapidly. Older ones went on sick leave, left organization and just 2 of them were left. The manager came year ago who hired all the young folks and clicks very well with them and enjoys talking about boys and dating site (although manager is 10 years older than us)

This is a job which requires master's degree in social services and it's a gov job. So this isn't a retail job, it's professional. A common theme I saw is all the young folks, including the manager have their masters degree from a "diploma mill" type of universities which are private and literally anyone can get in. this is probably their first "office job"

I'm having trouble fitting in with the young ones. It's high school mean girls vibe. They go to washroom in groups "let's go pee" , barely acknowledge you and stay in their group. I learnt there was a huge clash between younger and older folks a year ago and now it has died down.

Manager is enabler. Once a coworker yelled swear word out loud and said oh sorry. Manager said oh that's ok, it's almost time to go home. Another time the girls were chatting and manager came and girls said oh party is over. Manager said I am one of you! Party isn't over! I wish I could just put my manager hat down. Another time a client complaint that your team is too young and inexperienced. Manager responded by reassuring team and said she has herself also gotten these comments and it's totally unfair.

We are able to work together, mostly my efforts of initiating small talk around work and their one word reply - but the work is done. When I tried to initiate conversation with them, their first question was "how old are you (I'm abour 2-3 years older than them but way ahead in life milestones). They dislike me - lots of gossip amongst them. Hard to feel ortrosized. Some conflict resolution problems - I simply let them take the lead as I know I can't win with intellectual points either as they will think I'm full of myself.

I'm just having my own feelings around feeling unfair that they get paid same as me and are so behind me in knowledge, skills, and professionalism. I guess life is unfair. Any wisdom?

Let's say you work front line in unionized and a few steps into the pay grade. If you get a lead position in excluded but the starting pay grade is lower than what you made in your previous position. But since this is your first lead position, you can't make a case to increase steps. Do you take a pay cut?

No I'm not a new therapist and I don't think I'm burnt out. Nor have I been doing this and need a break.

I work in healthcare, it's definitely busy, and I believe that I use about 5-10% of my therapeutic knowledge with my clients (it's healthcare, huge waitlist, our services are limited).

Yes I know the importance of how therapy can be transformative, I have myself been in therapy, but I find that it's not magic. There are so many people I can't help, they aren't ready, some are seeking something else, and most folks give feedback that they liked it. But I genuinely feel people are lonely and wanted relationships, other tangible things instead of this. This doesn't solve things. It's just a relationship, which can be highly fulfilling, but it dosnt change things. Again, it's just a relationship that you access in a closed door, max 1 time a week for about an hour. That's it. This relationship doesn't walk with you in your life, it dosnt become an active part of you, beyond helping u figure out urself.. it's one sided - in a way it's only about you

I have had a long term therapist for 10 years now, but in some aspects of my life that I share with her, I feel she just dosnt get it, or she has another outlook. She is just a human.

Thoughts?

Edit: if you feel the same, can you please elaborate on your experience and explain what you think is cause of all this or what do you make out of this

Curious about things like racism, taxes, commute, ability to make friends.

8 leaders we directly report to. 30 full time staff. Ambiguous responsibility of leaders: We aren't sure which leader is responsible for what - some say all are responsible for everything, some say certain tasks only 1 leader looks at, and other tasks others look after but reality sometimes does not match.

4 leaders I have never met in person (it's a big company, 100% in-person, but they live far). 3 leaders are angry and want to advocate for our team. 1 leader "seems" to be the main leader and is the most dismissive one, and seems to be the favorite leader of the senior leadership. He is chaotic, no written policies, decisions are made as per mood, or situation.

Problem is there are so many concerns that come up every day and we are supposed to suck it up. If we ask for help from "responsive" leaders, they bring it up and the "main leader" dismisses it 99% of the time. If we bring up to "main leader" it feels like you are talking to a wall.

Example: I went to main leader and said "I am seeing an additional project added in my calendar next week which I wasn't informed (very common here). I would like to have a break between 6 hours of back to back projects. He responded said oh that was a glitch! I felt releaved and eased up a bit. Then he said try this out and see how you feel for next weeks (it's recurring meetings he put in my calendar). I asked for clarification - so is it a glitch or are we moving ahead with the 6 hour meetings? He said we are moving ahead. I expressed rationals of why I can't do this. He said ok I will see what I can do, just try for few weeks. I said ok, I can try for first week, he said no just give me a few weeks. I said ok, but I do hope there would be a follow up. He laughted.

Desperately wanting suggestions.

Why isn't anyone replying :(

8 leaders we directly report to. 30 full time staff. Ambiguous responsibility of leaders: We aren't sure which leader is responsible for what - some say all are responsible for everything, some say certain tasks only 1 leader looks at, and other tasks others look after but reality sometimes does not match.

4 leaders I have never met in person (it's a big company, 100% in-person, but they live far). 3 leaders are angry and want to advocate for our team. 1 leader "seems" to be the main leader and is the most dismissive one, and seems to be the favorite leader of the senior leadership. He is chaotic, no written policies, decisions are made as per mood, or situation.

Problem is there are so many concerns that come up every day and we are supposed to suck it up. If we ask for help from "responsive" leaders, they bring it up and the "main leader" dismisses it 99% of the time. If we bring up to "main leader" it feels like you are talking to a wall.

Example: I went to main leader and said "I am seeing an additional project added in my calendar next week which I wasn't informed (very common here). I would like to have a break between 6 hours of back to back projects. He responded said oh that was a glitch! I felt releaved and eased up a bit. Then he said try this out and see how you feel for next weeks (it's recurring meetings he put in my calendar). I asked for clarification - so is it a glitch or are we moving ahead with the 6 hour meetings? He said we are moving ahead. I expressed rationals of why I can't do this. He said ok I will see what I can do - just try for few weeks to figure out. I said ok, I can try for first week, he said no just give me a few weeks. I said ok, but I do hope there would be a follow up. He laughted.

Desperately wanting suggestions. Yes, I'm finding other jobs but I don't want to jump to another job that isn't a good fit. I have hopped jobs and been at jobs for 1 year to 1.5 year because of toxic workplaces I have left (not same fields, but all big companies) and I was hoping to at least spend 2 years here (1 year done). Please don't suggest union and HR, there is a loophole.

Career advice needed for white collar jobs from emotionally wise leaders (rather than "suck it up and work hard" one or who are only interested in rising up).

I have been staying at jobs for 8 months to 1.5 years since last 5 years. Interested in finding a good fit, open to flexibility but not open to toxic/oppressive/overwork environment which explains job hopping. Genuinely interested in finding environment I would love, and not giving up despite mental toll job hopping takes.

Found one very good fit, but took a huge risk and moved on for more money and ended up badly. Currently in a place which is extremely dismissive and messaging expressed openly includes: "this is how it is", "it's hard to get in here", "people cry and get ready for next meeting".

I judge management to be incomplete who themselves feel weak in front of their own managers.

For those of you who have spent decades in white collar jobs, what's your advice for someone like myself who lives in a world where politics and "suck it up" attitudes gets you a price but it is difficult to find a place where your heart is open, fight or flight drops and you feel like yourself. Worried about resume filled with short term jobs but also not wanting to give up finding something I would love.

Career advice needed for white collar jobs from emotionally wise leaders (rather than "suck it up and work hard" one or who are only interested in rising up).

I have been staying at jobs for 8 months to 1.5 years since last 5 years. Interested in finding a good fit, open to flexibility but not open to toxic/oppressive/overwork environment which explains job hopping. Genuinely interested in finding environment I would love, and not giving up despite mental toll job hopping takes.

Found one very good fit, but took a huge risk and moved on for more money and ended up badly. Currently in a place which is extremely dismissive and messaging expressed openly includes: "this is how it is", "it's hard to get in here", "people cry and get ready for next meeting".

I judge management to be incomplete who themselves feel weak in front of their own managers.

For those of you who have spent decades in white collar jobs, what's your advice for someone like myself who lives in a world where politics and "suck it up" attitudes gets you a price but it is difficult to find a place where your heart is open, fight or flight drops and you feel like yourself. Worried about resume filled with short term jobs but also not wanting to give up finding something I would love.

Everything was fine until daughter got married and son in-law entered. Then the mother in law started to form distance between her daughter and daughter in law. DIL kept initiating that she wants to meet her SIL but MIL would keep two parties way. Why could that be the case?

Growing up I wanted a child. Reality hit and I couldn't imagine why anyone would want a child while considering current state of the world. But there are pressures. It seems like this should be the next steps. I never want my children to take care of me, and at the same time, vulnerability that all humans carry makes me question if I get alone and old in the world, it would be nice for at least one person to check up on me when I'm in nursing home.

Yesterday I thought how would my life be like if I didn't have a child? To my surprise, just this thought brought be such paralyzing bone deep relaxation in my body that it's still hard to move my body. It's like my body could rest. All the goals of my life would change - I wouldn't work as hard enough, I wouldn't stay at shitty jobs, I would want to move into areas where life is slow. I want to love and take care of myself. But then fear hits in - what if I'm getting old and I have nobody.

I know the organic answer is: try having friends or build relationships with children of your family or friends. However, I'm a true introvert and relationships simply drain me. I just don't want to create relationships so that I will benefit from them after 10 years.

How do you guys deal with it