u/Contemplative-Cat-44

I recently opened up to my boss about a mental health issue that’s been affecting my ability to work. I was already on a reduced schedule (4 days/week), as well as being in the middle of my last month there (they asked for a months notice instead of 2 weeks) but my depression has been really unpredictable lately and I’ve had to call out a couple times, making me unreliable.

I ended up having a pretty emotional conversation with my boss where I explained that parts of my work environment have been triggering for me (I work around a ton of sharp objects and knives, which trigger self harm urges and are intensified by my hatred of the job). I cried during the conversation and felt like I couldn’t explain things clearly. They were mostly quiet and focused on how they need reliability, and at one point used the word “liability” to describe me, which has been stuck in my head since. They also almost pressured me into a decision asking, “so are you saying you can’t work here anymore?”

In response to that, asked about taking a leave of absence, but they suggested I look into disability instead. We’re supposed to talk again soon to figure out next steps, and I’m feeling really anxious about it.

I can’t stop feeling like I handled everything wrong or overshared too much. I also feel really guilty about how this is affecting them, even though I know I didn’t choose this.

Has anyone else been through something like this? Did I mess up by being too honest about self harm? How do you deal with the guilt after opening up like that at work? How does one even face their boss again after having a talk like this?