u/Cool_Arugula497

What books (or podcasts possibly) would you recommend on being more positive, having a more positive mindset overall? Thanks!

As my pain gets worse, I'm noticing very clearly that my nervous system feels a lot more dysregulated which is affecting nearly everything in my life. Is there any way to regulate my nervous system (even a bit) even though the pain isn't getting much better? Thanks!

Hello... I feel like I've gotten mostly through perimenopause so I don't know that my sadness is ALL that. Maybe some hormone stuff, sure, but not all. I've tried HRT several times and no version of it worked for me. So, there's that part of it all. I'm just sad all the time. ALL the time. Not the panicky sad like I felt when I was more in the throes of perimenopause, but an underlying things-are-never-going-to-be-okay-again sadness. I've lost my Father and I seemed to just change inside when that happened. My Mother is older and has some health issues but, overall, is doing well for her age, thank goodness. I love her more than anything on earth and I live in fear, every single day, of the simple fact that my days with her are more numbered with each passing day. I do anything and everything I can to help her and I consider it to be an honor and a privilege. I also help care for another older relative who can be very demanding at times. There are a lot of appointments to go to, cooking to do, scheduling, research about health things, etc. etc. and yet it feels like I never really DO anything. I know I do but it feels like I don't. I don't know how to make that make sense. I guess meaning that I never do anything that a lot of others would consider worthwhile or meaningful. It's all helping take care of others which is what I want to be doing because I love them so much but I also feel like I should always be doing more.

And, I have excruciating back pain almost daily that I try to work around as well. I'm trying to do what I can to take care of my back (exercise, etc.) but a lot of times it's a matter of just doing what has to be done through the pain anyway. That wears on a person. I feel like my nervous system is just fried.

And, I've been looking back on my Facebook memories and I see a person that I don't even recognize and I wish so much that I could be her again. And I wonder why I can't but... I can't. I'm not the same, things are not the same. I used to be carefree and fun and adventurous and now... I'm not. I can't be. There's always so much to be done, worried so much about those I love, my back hurting so much, and I don't know how to be that again. Or, really, any version of that.

I'm just sad. Sad about what was. Sad about what's to be. Sad that I didn't appreciate how things were when I was younger more than I did. Sad that every day feels so hard. I don't even know. Just so sad. And I catch myself thinking, "Well, take an adventure or do something like you used to do" but that's not really an option either. There are too many things that need dealing with on a daily basis and then, of course, my pain that has to be factored in. But, this overwhelming sadness isn't helping anything either. Anyone been here? Any tips?

If you read this far, thank you! :)

I used my PayPal for the first time in ages the other day and, while I was logged in, I checked my history. There are many logins (though no transactions) that have been made every few days for the past several months that I have not made. I deleted some of the sites and then it blocked me from doing that. I tried to remove my linked payment methods and it blocked me from doing that. I tried to just cancel my account and it has blocked me from doing that. I can't even get the automated customer service chat to respond, let alone an actual agent. When I try to cancel, it says that it's "waiting for pending transactions to clear" but all the transactions are marked as completed. The only new one is from the other day and that money has already cleared, too. This is absolutely so frustrating! It seems like they've blocked me from being able to do anything to protect my payment methods. Any advice here? Thanks!

I started out at 0.5mg a couple of months ago. I stayed at that does for a long time and then went up by another 0.5mg. Again, stayed there a long time and then about two weeks ago (not hardly), I went up another 0.5mg. So, this latest increase brought me up to 1.5mg total. Soon after going up this last time, I just started feeling off. The first time I increased, I did feel more tired than usual but it went away after about a week and I felt pretty good. I waited a full week thinking that same thing would happen again but it didn't seem to wear off like it did last time. Just foggy feeling and "spaced out" in my head to the point where it made me a bit afraid to even drive. The most bizarre thing, however, is that I've developed a rash on my chest that won't go away. It's not itchy, doesn't hurt, but it is pretty bad red and whelped up. It looks almost like a heat rash but I've not gotten anywhere near hot enough lately to get a rash. Two night ago, I dropped back down to 1.0mg and I'm hoping that will help. Not sure how long it will take to help, though. The rash is very definitely still there. Also, I've had no changes in anything else. No different soap, detergent, lotion, food, supplements, nothing at all like that. I'm taking LDN to hopefully reduce inflammation and make my back pain manageable enough to exercise without so much pain. I really can't tell, so far, that anything in that regard has happened. Is this reaction normal?

Someone recently told me that I need to treat going to the gym like a career rather than like a job. When I asked what that meant, they said they didn't know how to explain it. I've thought a lot about it and have sort of a rough idea but just thought it would be interesting to ask here... What do YOU think that means?