u/CraftedCandid

I saw a post recently by a female instagram influencer, she has over 100k followers, and she was narrating the story of her friend who recently got married. This woman was in a good IT job but was desperately waiting to get married so that she can be free of the stressful load of job. Well she got married and currently living a dream alike lifestyle.

The crux this influencer was trying to assert was that many woman actually want to leave their job and be a stay at home wife but the fear mongering by our mothers (due to their obsession with having money in hand) and conditioning has led us to believe that marriage is destined to be a horror story and job is our cushion, hence we're dragging something we don't wish to out of compulsion.

Is it true that stay at home life is actually so beautiful and happy? I'm seeing my own sister post her love marriage she willingly resign right after engagement and now 4 years and counting, she's the healthiest and happiest married woman I've seen. Same with my school classmates who got married right into their graduation, all of them are glowing while career women all around me including myself, are exhausted, doubtful, tired and just fed up.

I've often read and heard astrologers saying to me as well as to others (mainly the people influenced by Shani) that your marriage will happen 'Late' in life.

What does this late actually mean? because Indian society if functioning in compliance with the law, late can mean 25+ also, or in backward rural parts in can mean 22-23 also, in terms of urban areas the same age considered late is seen early like 28-29.

The only late every strata of society will agree on is 40s. I want to specifically ask what kind of 'late' among all this does Vedic astrology signify when we say someone will be marrying late?

Also, in case it means late like in 40s, what'd be the point of marriage at that time even when the age where all functions of marriage could have taken place is long gone??? Doesn't astrology take in consideration thr biological and social compulsions while defining such a definition of "Late"?

Same as the question

I (26F) a working woman with a terrible dating life from last 5 years. Although I've dated only one guy (32M) seriously yet (who cheated on me with apparently 9 women behind my back. He used to do virtual sexting and nude calls with them.) He was a CA though and made good money while I work for the government and he left me saying I earn less than a sex worker per day while he keeps an iphone, eat out every week and earns lakhs. He also blamed me that he failed his 4th attempt at UPSC.

Other guys whoever approached me till date were visible jerks. Inconsistent, indecisive, time pass, non serious, hook up kind etc. I've stepped away from this mess altogether a year ago.

My experience with this stuff has been very bad which I believe is a personal misfortune I've on my part. I do realize the shortcomings, cons and drawbacks of being involved with a man in a system like marriage within a set-up like India with tons of in-laws ready to judge me... but with the ongoing modernization around us, I feel it can be tackled.

However the point is I simply can't marry, whatever the reason be. Men are useless out there. Yet all I can see around me are women dressed in bright post marital colors, wearing clanking jewellery, pretty makeup, brimming with marital radiance, posting happy pictures and occasions with their loving husbands everyday. They seem so happy. My own cousin who didn't work had no career got an easy love marriage.

Sometimes it feels very very discouraging that I'm being denied something beautiful (which I know isn't that glossy as it appears) I believe it's the societal conditioning which is making me feel gloomy about my situation. My mom says what I've at 26 isn't something every girl gets, but my counter to her is that's because they've got what's normal and socially respectable.... a good marriage, the highest title of being a married woman and a husband even if they've no achievement.

I know it sounds ridiculous on my part but I really wanna break out of this obsession and conditioning that have been somehow planted in my head. Please help.

Don't get me wrong, I always help people who are genuinely in need including my maid, guard bhaiya, cook etc and they even return the money back whenever they can honestly.

However others, and surprisingly who earn like 3x more than me, live a lavish life, do addictions, into high paying jobs.... keep asking money from me. I haven't lent them anything till date, nor do I ever wish to. Surprisingly ALL OF THEM ARE MEN, no girl or woman, even unemployed has ever asked even a penny from me.

Kindly advise me how to deal with such people who think women who earn have no expenses of their own and are always living with a surplus to grant it to others whenever you ask.

Yes I've refused subtly, I've said No straightaway as well, but they just won't budge and it's a thing of every month's last week. I've till date never asked money from anybody else except my father that too in medical emergencies, but I'm having a hard time dealing with these men. Can't even cut off ties with them as they're old acquaintance and friends.

So he has prescribed me:

1. Cap doxy capsules, twice daily

2. RejuGlow facewash

3. Deriva-CMS (to apply at night, wash after 30 mins)

That's an active acne regime but nothing to address my uneven skin tone, pigmentation, and rough skin texture.

Should I anything like azelaic acid on my own to this regime?

Like Vikas Divyakirti once said, if you can manage to finish 20 ques regardless of what you've written with bare minimum accuracy, you'll sail through it.... or attempting only those which we know??

Like seriously the audacity of guys to simply assume that they don't matter or sometimes don't even exist...

With a prominent moon in their chart like let's just say, moon in 1H, or Moon in Rohini, or Purnima born etc....

I'll try to explain what I'm asking through some examples...

1. Women in the house working till 3 pm without even thinking to eat for herself are glorified.

2. If guests have arrived and she sits with them to eat, even if someone doesn't say anything, people would be visibly uncomfortable.

3. While distributing any fruit, sweets, fast food item if she sets apart a plate for herself, everyone casually mocks her.

4. She's expected to eat after everyone and if any item has finished, she isn't supposed to complaint.

5. If she cooks something solely for herself, she's mocked.

6. She's not asked about her choice on the menu when family is out there for a celebration in some restaurant.

7. If in hurry, nobody waits for her to finish her plate or even letting her eat.

8. If she takes out some snacks for herself from kitchen cabinets, people react as if she has stolen something from supermart.

..... and plenty of examples like this all around us even in educated and modern families. Why is Indian society so averse to the idea of women eating? Like, are we not humans? don't we need fuel to function? Fruits specially, if a lady in house asks for fruits she's looked upon as if a prisoner asked to let him go out of jail.

Why is idea of women eating anything feels so uncomfortable to our society?? What's so shameful in merely consuming food?

So I tried PMF environment book, it's good no doubt... but it's not helping me personally. I feel it's too much biology and science oriented and I'm unable to grasp it.

Please help me with some sources that can actually help me as the subject only needs generic coverage.

Only one source would do as well.

Paid promotions and reel culture has destroyed value reading I suppose. I mean, I'm done with Colleen Hoover, Macfadein, Sita/Daruapdi tales, Indian history or dark romance.

I want to know something which excites avid and true readers. Pieces that are unknown to content creators and away from streamline algorithm. Something that you won't find on bookshelves of libraries or bookstores, something that exists but lost its relevance to epochs of time. I know people here will come up with marvellous suggestions.

All in all, I want to read unknown but good books that have not been yet discovered by pop culture.

Kindly don't suggest Romance genre please.

TIA

Something like Belle from Beauty and the Beast who gasped on merely a view of a library in front of her as she was such die hard fond of books.

So I've recently joined a central ministry. I've been recruited on ad hoc basis and my team people are all women. We've to work with the application unit of the ministry planning to role out phone and screen conducive information for consumption.

Today all of them were sitting in canteen, though I wasn't engaged in the conversation but I was being an active listener. All the girls are upto 25-26 years of age and they had tremendous tooics to talk about ranging from a wide variety of upcoming assembly elections, policy making, parliament in session, recent CJP protest to travel locations, makeup cosmetics, skincare, haircut, affordable accesories and what not...!!! they were sounding so chirpy so happy and so involved in their own little carefree conversation.

But guess what, there was NOT EVEN A SINGLE MENTION of things like dating, boyfriend, husband, marriage, breakup, patchup, romance etc etc etc. While back in my hometown (Jodhpur) all that women talk about are marriage, husbands, cooking and unmarried ones talk about boyfriends, hookups, enticing guys etc.

I felt so content seeing women finally decentering men and living their life for themselves as individual entities. I wish all women across the nation could soon feel and apply this change in their lives.

This is about a person I know. He has all the traits of Rahu in 2H. He's a CA, has tremendous money but somehow spends ir entirely, no savings at all, is always financially struggling even after earning so much and has a very harsh speech

However one condition is that he has keratoconus in his one eye. I once read in some book that Rahu in 2H gives eye problem but he's the first person I'm seeing this manifestating. Is it common than I've seen? What are your opinions?

Please hear me out.

I'm a working woman from Rajasthan living with a fertility condition that I believe should never be hidden from any future partner and makes it nearly impossible for any man to accept me. My parents have been incredibly supportive throughout my life. They've always encouraged me to pursue my ambitions and build a career, and never once have they let marriage stand in the way of anything I wanted to achieve.

Yet, I don't know whether it's years of societal conditioning or something deeper, but I find myself sinking into sadness whenever I see people around me getting married. The grand glitzing ceremonies, the colorful outfits, the joy on the bride's face, couples giggling together, women glowing with happiness, it all leaves me with an ache that is difficult to describe.

Most of my classmates started getting married around the age of eighteen. Today, almost every girl I grew up with is married and building a family of her own. Watching their lives move forward while mine has taken a different path has become increasingly painful.

Over time, I've come to accept that marriage may simply not be a part of my life. I've also realized that I don't want to lower my standards. Unfortunately, I've begun to feel that those standards may never be met by any man.

Last night, while visiting my hometown, my family attended a wedding. I couldn't even bring myself to look at the bride and groom on the stage. The sight alone felt like a knife through my heart. I left without eating, walked outside, and spent nearly an hour sitting by our car, crying uncontrollably until my family came out.

I've decided to never attend any wedding now. Every bride I see reminds me of something I know I'll never experience. It makes me feel painfully incomplete, even though I know a person's worth shouldn't be measured by their marital status.

What makes it even harder is how people treat you. Some former colleagues, acquaintances, and even friends seem to look down on me simply because I'm unmarried. It's subtle at times, obvious at others, but it's there. As if every achievement, every professional milestone, somehow counts for less because I don't have the title of "wife".

Sometimes it feels as though no matter how much I achieve professionally or personally, I'll never receive the same social acceptance and respect that is so effortlessly given to a married woman. No matter at what heights I reach, I'll forever be deprived of the highest social respect given only to a married woman.

I've accepted that my life may look different from what I once imagined. I desperately want to stop carrying this constant sense of grief. I want to make peace with the life I have instead of mourning the one I may never have.

If anyone has gone through something similar, or has found a way to navigate these feelings, I'd genuinely appreciate your advice. I don't want this sadness to define the rest of my life.

(used AI to refine my thoughts)

TIA