u/Creepy_Dot_9898

During the breakup, I was honestly much kinder and more gracious than I probably needed to be. I didn’t express my anger, or how hurt I actually was. I stayed calm and respectful and basically made the breakup very easy for him.
Now I’m wondering if that affected him at all.
Would an avoidant be more affected by someone remaining kind and composed rather than getting angry or confronting them? Part of me wonders whether seeing that I wasn’t going to fight, guilt him, or lash out made him feel the loss more or whether expressing my anger would have made a bigger emotional impact on him.
I also wonder if I protected him from seeing the consequences of how he treated me. If I had told him how angry and hurt I was, would that have hurt him more, or would it simply have made him withdraw further?
Has anyone experienced this? Did you regret being too gracious during an avoidant breakup?

I had a pretty intense sexual attraction with my avoidant, and I’m fairly certain the attraction was mutual. He was very physically affectionate during intimacy very touchy and affectionate but he wasn’t very good at aftercare.

After sex, he would sometimes become noticeably more distant or withdrawn. It wasn’t necessarily that he was cold during intimacy, quite the opposite. The contrast afterward was what confused me.

Is this common with avoidant attachment? Can someone genuinely feel strong sexual attraction and enjoy physical intimacy but then feel the need to create distance afterward because the emotional closeness feels overwhelming? I’m curious whether others have experienced this dynamic: intense physical/sexual connection followed by emotional withdrawal afterward?

So, when we were together, he wasn’t smoking, and he used to struggle with addiction. I recently saw a video of him smoking pot again. I don’t want to see him suffer, but I don’t really know much about this. Is it bad that he’s smoking again? Could this mean he has fallen back into his old habits?

I have a very close friend who I've basically talked to every day for the past 10 years. We're extremely close, and for most of our friendship, we've been in constant contact.

She can be pretty jealous when I don't answer her. Even if I don't reply for a few hours (usually no more than 5 hours), she'll sometimes get upset and make me apologize for small things. Honestly, I used to find this quality kind of endearing because it made me feel like she really cared about me, although there have been a few occasions when it went too far.

For example, she once got jealous because I didn't show her screenshots of my conversations with my boyfriend. I thought that was a little strange, but I didn't think too much of it at the time.

Now she has a boyfriend, and things have completely changed. She barely replies to me anymore, sometimes she doesn't respond for around 20 days. This is especially weird to me because we've talked almost every day for 10 years, and she used to get upset if I took a few hours to respond.

Recently, she traveled with her boyfriend to the country where my ex lives. It's kind of an unusual/less common place to visit, and while she was there, she tried to FaceTime me to show me the city.

I don't know whether I'm reading too much into that or whether she intentionally did it because she knew it might affect me. Part of me finds the whole situation really weird, especially considering how differently she treats me now compared with how she expected me to treat her when she was single.

I'm not sure what to make of the change in our friendship. Should I confront her about it, distance myself, or just accept that her priorities have changed now that she has a boyfriend?

summary: My best friend and I have talked almost every day for 10 years, and she used to get jealous if I didn't reply within a few hours. Now that she has a boyfriend, she sometimes ignores me for 20 days, and she recently FaceTimed me while visiting the country where my ex lives. I can't tell if I'm overthinking the situation or if there's something intentional behind it.

I have a very close friend who I've basically talked to every day for the past 10 years. We're extremely close, and for most of our friendship, we've been in constant contact.

She can be pretty jealous when I don't answer her. Even if I don't reply for a few hours (usually no more than 5 hours), she'll sometimes get upset and make me apologize for small things. Honestly, I used to find this quality kind of endearing because it made me feel like she really cared about me, although there have been a few occasions when it went too far.

For example, she once got jealous because I didn't show her screenshots of my conversations with my boyfriend. I thought that was a little strange, but I didn't think too much of it at the time.

Now she has a boyfriend, and things have completely changed. She barely replies to me anymore, sometimes she doesn't respond for around 20 days. This is especially weird to me because we've talked almost every day for 10 years, and she used to get upset if I took a few hours to respond.

Recently, she traveled with her boyfriend to the country where my ex lives. It's kind of an unusual/less common place to visit, and while she was there, she tried to FaceTime me to show me the city.

I don't know whether I'm reading too much into that or whether she intentionally did it because she knew it might affect me. Part of me finds the whole situation really weird, especially considering how differently she treats me now compared with how she expected me to treat her when she was single.

I'm not sure what to make of the change in our friendship. Should I confront her about it, distance myself, or just accept that her priorities have changed now that she has a boyfriend?

summary: My best friend and I have talked almost every day for 10 years, and she used to get jealous if I didn't reply within a few hours. Now that she has a boyfriend, she sometimes ignores me for 20 days, and she recently FaceTimed me while visiting the country where my ex lives. I can't tell if I'm overthinking the situation or if there's something intentional behind it.

My boyfriend (24M) and I (23F) have been together for about 2 months. We get along very well, almost like we’ve known each other for years. We have a lot of fun together, and I genuinely love him as a person. The sexual attraction between us is also extremely strong.

However, there are some things that have been bothering me. He hides his stories from me, and I’ve caught him lying a couple of times. He also hasn’t really been there for me on some of my special days, which has made me question how much he actually cares.

At the same time, when we’re together, everything feels so natural and the chemistry is amazing. I feel very attracted to him and really enjoy being around him, so I’m having a hard time figuring out whether I’m overlooking these things because of how strongly I feel about him.

Do these behaviors sound like genuine red flags, or am I overthinking things? Would you continue seeing someone if the connection and chemistry were this strong but there were already some trust and effort issues?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months and have an amazing connection and very strong chemistry. However, he hides his stories from me, has lied to me a few times, and hasn’t always been there for me, so I’m wondering whether the chemistry is making me overlook red flags.

After 4 months of daily contact and getting very close, the guy I’m seeing vanished for a week (right on my birthday). He eventually resurfaced to say he wants to keep things going but "isn't in the right place to commit."

I’m in love with him and our chemistry is great, but his sudden disappearance and the lack of commitment are hard to square with my feelings. Has anyone successfully navigated this shift in expectations? I'm finding it nearly impossible to imagine moving on, but I'm worried about staying in limbo.

My boyfriend (M25) and I (F22) have been together for 4 months. I am a virgin and don’t have much experience with sexual health or boundaries in relationships yet. Recently, he has been asking to have sex without a condom. His reasoning is that because I am a virgin, he "trusts" me and he says he wants to "feel me 100%." He also told me he can't commit more to me right now because his life is a mess but he talks about our future all the time. It sounds wrong to me but I also like him so much, is this something I can ignore?