u/Cringe_Username69

I (23, F), found myself in a weird setting. I kinda ruined my life but at the same time I've gained a second chance from life by leaving my ex. The thing I want to focus the most is my personality. For my whole life I thought I am a good person and I blamed my looks or other factors for lack of friends or a boyfriend. The fact is I have a bad personality and manners and therefore no social skills. I thought it's adhd and turns out it's entitlement, rude behaviour and pride and arrogance. Could I make the post and ask you how to fix this behaviour all together instead of masking?

I want to act right. As much as I can. I honestly dont even know how to act in certain situations, I dont even know how to react to others.

And then I want to make friends. Not those who want to be friends with me, but those I want to make with others. I dont want to be friends with just anyone.

Could you tell me how to actually change? Not just read self-improvement books or do some tactics in order to make others think I am nice and cool?

I, (23, F) want to change myself. Actually I wanted to change myself for over 2 years, as to change my personality. I've only recently reached the place of mind where I can focus on it and not on making more money, changing my job, i've reached some sort of stability.

The truth is, I was spoiled by my mom and still am occasionally. I've made mistakes early in my life, it started doing downhill somewhere at 11, but I never ever had good relationships, especially not with people my age. I grown up to be very arrogant, I don't actually think I am above anyone, but I definitely expect a lot from other people and judge them harshly. Meanwhile I might overlook my own flaws or wrong-doings and not even aknowledge them, so I don't judge them as much. My own mom tells me that (due to my opinion) noone is good enough to deserve my attention and I think I am very very judgmental of other people. I am very very sensitive to everything that is low quality or mass centered and not high-quality, unique and personalized. I just hate trends, hate everything that is popular. At the same time I just very much dislike everything that comes with modern capitalism or capitalism at all (sorry for the politics).

I mean, to simplify I totally identify with mr. Darcy. Usually people are nice to me at first. And then quickly they switch off. I dont blame them. I spent like 20 years of my life (ive been bullied since I ever entered any kind of societal setting, i dont even remember the beggining but I believe it to be preschool), wondering what is wrong with me. I was even bullied by my ex lol. If you think that it would be better to call it abuse, so called abuse was mainly laughing at me and teasing me and telling me to get yourself together like every single day. I could never what he meant.

I thought I have adhd, autism, depression, schizophrenia and so on, I looked up rare mental illnesses and I didnt even know my personality and manners are so bad. My family seemed to kinda accept it so I didnt actually know its not normal to interrupt people when I am excited. But I had good intentions.

On the other hand. There are people who act well, have way better manners and social skills but deep down you see that they are just bad, ill people. Jealous and unemphatetic. Sometimes I feel like, and dont cringe on me, the lower the class and worse the people. Like desperation and lack of perspectives for the better bring out the worst in people. Sometimes it makes me not want to talk to them at all. I feel like they will stab me only to feel less insecure. I feel for them, however like I cant help myself but feel above them. I dont even want to talk with them bc it feels as if they just want to extract information only to backstab me or laugh at me. Sometimes I might think its my fault bc I was rude or something, but then I remind myself that those people are not only fake to me. People talk shit about everyone once theyre out the door. And how to thrive in such society? Should I even try to? Is it possible to be on good terms with everyone? Hard to admit, but I seem to be on bad terms with literally everyone and the only people who have somewhat of neutral of good opinion of me are strangers lol. I used to make good impression as a child, but I cant even do that.

Dont get me wrong, I want to do everything I possibly can to improve, I bought and read ettiquette books, i try to be kind (my family is sometimes so rude it seems impossible to talk with them and be kind and not allow them to step on my head), I try to make small talk, i try to implement what I read into my relations and just be more aware of my behaviour but it just seems like it doesnt work. Tbh I cant even mirror people around me because they dont act the way I want to act. And again, I think I am better than them. Ettiquette was meant to show kindness not inferiority and lets not forget that in some settings people just dont care about the things I do. I love learning, arts, tradition, good quality, family values, my religion, europe, past, history and you know, responsibility, skills, improvement. I am very ambitious. In some circles it's expected of you to smoke, to drink, to party, to swear, and act like a peasant and those people still seem to have better manners and social skills than me, because they have an experience. I am not afraid to talk to someone who is "important", and I am not afraid to stand out. But in some settings its very very nicely perceived if you blend in and know your place.

Sometimes I dont know what to do and also, how to do it. Reading won't change me. Should I try to change each of my wrong belief separately on a piece of paper, ask myself the way a psychologist asks people or just blindly try to follow as many rules as there are and just wish I will do it automatically at some point?

Please give me some advice, the more the better.

I (F, 23) am looking for ways to obtain a legal, proffesional and full Master's studies in Architecture (a degree that will permit me a right to work as an architect), as a single mother of a small child (3). I have very limited help, I don't want to burden anyone. I am very dedicated, althouth my resources are limited and I live in rural Poland. I want my degree to be recognized in most developed and developing countries. I need the degree to obtain a title of an architect, get knowledge on traditional building (my region, which is west voivodeship of Poland, and North-Eastern Germany prior to 1945), and a Master's studies.

I think it's very classist to limit my ability to obtain knowledge, especially in the age when we can learn directly through our phones and architects are working online with the help of AI. Architects still need to sacrifice their time to obtain professional practice and they have to design projects in person and work under someone else's design studio. I would gladly work day and night, but in my case it's impossible and immoral. I don't even want to design modern architecture, I just want to be able to design traditional architecture, castles, manors, cottages, farm buildings, etc. I want the title and I want the Master's degree. I want to be able to rebuild old ruins, recreate the style that got stuck in the past.

Is it impossible or immoral for me to study architecture?

How do you guys build your life as a single mom? College, events, networking is build for people with literally no responsibilities, start-ups, courses, programs. I am 23, my daughter is almost 3. I have a lot of skills, but no college.

I (23, F) want to turn my life over and I know what is already important for me, what I want from life, but I am know I dont know it all, I am not self aware enough to change something that I dont know is wrong. Could you guys help me and tell me what is actually improtant for improvement? Personality-wise, hobbies, knowledge

Just like the title states, I (23, F) need EXTREME self improvement advice. I live in central europe with no plan to relocate, I am a single mom, I am doing stable financially, I want to improve mostly in different areas, health, skills, PERSONALITY, social skills, making friends (who arent envious), how to navigate college, entrepreunship, maybe romantic relationship, self- care and glow up. I am approaching middle class, so I dont want advice to be like "try to save at least 100$ each month", because I am already saving about $800, so no "get out of poverty advice". More like, building a good life despite hardships due to extreme improvement. My biggest problem is having no support and connections. Lack of family. And sometimes possibilities

Just like the title states, I (23, F) need EXTREME self improvement advice. I live in central europe with no plan to relocate, I am a single mom, I am doing stable financially, I want to improve mostly in different areas, health, skills, PERSONALITY, social skills, making friends (who arent envious), how to navigate college, entrepreunship, maybe romantic relationship, self- care and glow up. I am approaching middle class, so I dont want advice to be like "try to save at least 100$ each month", because I am already saving about $800, so no "get out of poverty advice". More like, building a good life despite hardships due to extreme improvement. My biggest problem is having no support and connections. Lack of family. And sometimes possibilities

edit: improvement towards the upper class, first true middle class, then upper middle class and then the upper class. I won't be mad if I dont succeed, i will be mad if I dont try

What would be the determinants of success in life?

I have no college, BUT i have a good, full time job.

I have a daughter, BUT no husband.

I am 23, I am doing good, but I would like to do better.

I (23, F) want to reach the upper class. I am european, I've went from lower class to almost middle class in 13 months, I have to reach

- middle class

- upper middle class

- upper class

I 100% believe it's possible, but as I can see not some of you guys. Why do I want to do it? For me, social class is a symbole of success. I wanted to improve my life OVERAL and I didn't know how should it look like,

my biggest motivation is my ex who said there's no point. There is a lot of points, I am not talking about wealth, money, freedom. I am talking about looking beautiful, being a very good person, acting like a lady, having stable and good situation with finances, being educated, living in a good environment and beautiful space. Being skilled, fullfilling my talents. Having a good well mannered husband. Who wouldn't want it? I do want it. But I know the path is going to be hard. I have to upgrade myself to set myself in.

And I am looking for tips how to do it.

I am living in Poland, most of the tips that are helpful in the US, are not working here.

Initially, when I was 19, I wanted to turn my life around. Figured out it's easier to do it together. Had my partner in crime. NOPE.

This gentleman turned out to be a jealous mf. We had to break up, leaving our daughter without full family.

How do I finish my plan? I know that social norms of the upper class are very different from my life experience. What would be the way to uplift my appeal?