u/Crowned_Niko

I wanna go into VTubing but need some feedback on my character design notes before I get to drawing and iterating and slicing for the rigging and so on. I already have an idea of what I am going for, leaning into the video game style, cute but slightly unsettling, and kinda like a digital being coming to life, leaning into the V in VTuber kinda. As well as design traits I like (Liam Vickers' classic murder bow anyone? :3) and so on. Here's what I got so far:

Digital Kobold

Ghost type entity for live chat voice thing (I don't know it just sounds fun x3 and I like freaky and cute lil’ creatures)

Large bow on the head

Large smile/mouth (if you've seen MD, you kinda know what I mean? Just won't move around the face like in the show because that'd probably be a nightmare to rig)

White fur with pink highlights

One digital eye, one normal eye

Cute fangs :3

(Later) Toggles for silly stuff like outfit changes, added icons, and expression based toggles (Roaring Knight outfit while playing Deltarune, for example, just because it'd be fun)

Black and pink dress with digital “threads”

Inspiration from Kali Aimes (SSTWL) and IC-0n (Internection Cube)

Color palette is 🏳️‍⚧️ and a bit of 💜🖤

(Don't know if this is the BEST fit for the sub, but all others kinda just weren't pushing my post well lol x3)

I wanna go into VTubing but need some feedback on my character design notes before I get to drawing and iterating and slicing for the rigging and so on. I already have an idea of what I am going for, leaning into the video game style, cute but slightly unsettling, and kinda like a digital being coming to life, leaning into the V in VTuber kinda. As well as design traits I like (Liam Vickers' classic murder bow anyone? :3) and so on. Here's what I got so far:

Digital Kobold

Ghost type entity for live chat voice thing (I don't know it just sounds fun x3 and I like freaky and cute lil’ creatures)

Large bow on the head

Large smile/mouth (if you've seen MD, you kinda know what I mean? Just won't move around the face like in the show because that'd probably be a nightmare to rig)

White fur with pink highlights

One digital eye, one normal eye

Cute fangs :3

(Later) Toggles for silly stuff like outfit changes, added icons, and expression based toggles (Roaring Knight outfit while playing Deltarune, for example, just because it'd be fun)

Black and pink dress with digital “threads”

Inspiration from Kali Aimes (SSTWL) and IC-0n (Internection Cube)

Color palette is 🏳️‍⚧️ and a bit of 💜🖤

I wanna go into VTubing but need some feedback on my character design notes before I get to drawing and iterating and slicing for the rigging and so on. I already have an idea of what I am going for, leaning into the video game style, cute but slightly unsettling, and kinda like a digital being coming to life, leaning into the V in VTuber kinda. As well as design traits I like (Liam Vickers' classic murder bow anyone? :3) and so on. Here's what I got so far:

Digital Kobold

Ghost type entity for live chat voice thing (I don't know it just sounds fun x3 and I like freaky and cute lil’ creatures)

Large bow on the head

Large smile/mouth (if you've seen MD, you kinda know what I mean? Just won't move around the face like in the show because that'd probably be a nightmare to rig)

White fur with pink highlights

One digital eye, one normal eye

Cute fangs :3

(Later) Toggles for silly stuff like outfit changes, added icons, and expression based toggles (Roaring Knight outfit while playing Deltarune, for example, just because it'd be fun)

Black and pink dress with digital “threads”

Inspiration from Kali Aimes (SSTWL) and IC-0n (Internection Cube)

Color palette is 🏳️‍⚧️ and a bit of 💜🖤

Made and designed by me :3

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So, I'm a trans girl and I've been closeted for 2 years and questioning for 7-6 months before that. So it's safe to say I can be pretty certain about that. But this past week, up until a few days ago, my dysphoria has gotten way worse than before. I'm talking literal disgust looking in a mirror rather than the usual "wait, that's me? Ew" feeling. Now, as I normally cope by focusing on other things, music, anything to move that focus (drawing, programming, writing, character design, game design, playing video games, talking with online friends), I figured it'd just amplify that, "okay, it may suck, but I can use it to be more productive on my personal projects or something." And I did get pretty far in a programming project I'm working on.

But then I missed a chore. Simple, missed a trash can taking out the trash. But my stepdad yelled at me for it and grounded me for it (though, 2 days later, it didn't stick). The only thing I have to focus on, during what I assume is likely a temporary dysphoria spike or something. For an unknown amount of time (yeah, I have books and actual paper, but I've read all my books many times over and drawing on paper just doesn't feel right, especially when I can't look up references to even practice anatomy) so that leaves me with restlessness because I'm not working on projects I'm genuinely motivated to get done and, in this particular case, likely forced to focus on the gender dysphoria because there's nothing else to focus on (meditating doesn't work unless I'm strongly imagining being the full-on girl I wanna be, that's how I fall asleep, but I can't maintain that all day) so I started crying, and getting frustrated, and getting stressed (given, at that moment, i was under increased dysphoria, getting yelled at, and losing how I usually deal with dysphoria). My mom noticed, I gave her a barely put-together, short explanation (just "oh, not feeling the best mentally, focusing on other stuff to make that motivation and into something positive, and now I'm supposedly grounded so I can't do that." Then I went to my room and cried a bit. My mom came in.

So I told her everything. How I'm trans, the dysphoria, what it's like, everything. Unfortunately, I was emotional during all that on top of the usual "coming out" stress. She left, and I correctly assumed she was telling my stepdad everything. And because I was emotional, she was probably gonna talk, understandably, more about that than anything else. Which she did. So they called me in about 5-10 minutes later.

Apparently, saying "I just wish this (pointing to my head, referencing my mind and gender) matched this (pointing to my body, referencing my biology)" was the same as saying "I wish I could alt+F4 life" somehow, despite that not being what I meant, not even close, and I still don't understand how they came up with that. Though, I also did say "I wish I could be someone else" in reference to being my female self, who I know pretty well, it's who I am online and the real me, but not in an alarming way. That was the first my stepdad said, on top of mentioning an ability to put me in a 72 hour hold. With my mom crying next to him. Adding guilt to my existing mental… mess, on top of dysphoria, being possibly grounded and not able to distract from that, and the stress of "now my parents, including my somewhat transphobic and traditional stepdad, know I'm trans." They then went on to how I'm now eventually gonna see a professional, be forced to be more physically and (in-person) socially active, stuff like that. Not bad, but I'm already somewhat socially active, with a group of a few dozen online friends and a small in person friend group that, granted, I need a break from sometimes. But of course my stepdad had to go further. "You have no social skills (false), you don't understand how the world works (I know the fucked up bits and how to not die, you know?), you're sheltered (impossible with the Internet, I tried, it didn't work), and you have no common sense (maybe not the kind you like, but I put together a lawn decoration with no instructions and barely a glance at a reference photo to see which of 2 things was higher up. If that's not intuition, I don't know what is. I just don't read rooms well beyond mood)!" So that added more anger.

From there, we talked, clarified bits of what he expects to change, I got my sense of humor back and annoyed my stepdad with it, and there I was. Hoping for the best, maybe even HRT if I'm lucky (otherwise I'm stuck with dysphoria until I'm 18), angry because of what my mom and stepdad responded to me coming out with, wishing I told them under a more calm emotional state (pretty sure they think I'm that upset all the time, usually I'm just calm and focused and mildly uncomfortable otherwise) and my explanations for how I feel and why weren't thought through, and still wondering why my dysphoria spiked so much.

Oh, also, here's what they said in response that annoyed me so much (all almost exact quotes, with some rewording for the sake of clarification):

"Are you sure it's not the fact all your father figures suck and you hate men so you don't want to be one?" - my mom. (Which, 1, that's not how it works, and 2, I got a boyfriend. Which wouldn't work if I hated guys. By this logic, wouldn't I be a trans lesbian?)

"How do you know it's not just a phase? I used to think I would rather be a guy and that I would look good as one!" - my mom (a phase that lasted over 2.5 years when I have shown signs of being trans since preschool?)

"You're wrong. You're not trans. Self evaluation isn't enough to decide something like that." - my stepdad (then your evaluation is just as incorrect.)

Now, I just don't know what to do. It's been 3 days, nothing really changed, but I also feel the shift still. Like, they're being nicer to me? My stepdad still likes the same holes, still says things like "I raise functional adults" in a way that makes it feel like I'm not in that category (I have flaws, yes, but I feel I could survive on my own with some difficulty. I could function, I feel, but it'd be rough at first, you know?) but he hasn't yelled at me when he normally would, and my mom gave me filler chores to avoid getting grounded the day after this. And… I just need a bit of advice here. Is this a normal thing? How can I deal with spikes like this later on (it's gone back to normal-ish, basically the day after this), and, like, what do I do? I just don't know what to do, and I regret quite a few things about all of this, most of which being the emotional, unintentional way I came out.

Overall, I'm just here to vent, and ask for advice. If you got any more questions, feel free to ask, I'll answer the best I can. All help is appreciated, and thank you for reading all this. Love you all, and have a damn good day or night.

:3

So, I'm trans (15f), and I've been closeted for 2 years and questioning for 7-6 months before that. So it's safe to say I can be pretty certain about that. But this past week, up until a few days ago, my dysphoria has gotten way worse than before. I'm talking literal disgust looking in a mirror rather than the usual "wait, that's me? Ew" feeling. Now, as I normally cope by focusing on other things, music, anything to move that focus (drawing, programming, writing, character design, game design, playing video games, talking with online friends), I figured it'd just amplify that, "okay, it may suck, but I can use it to be more productive on my personal projects or something." And I did get pretty far in a programming project I'm working on.

But then I missed a chore. Simple, missed a trash can taking out the trash. But my stepdad yelled at me for it and grounded me for it (though, 2 days later, it didn't stick). The only thing I have to focus on, during what I assume is likely a temporary dysphoria spike or something. For an unknown amount of time (yeah, I have books and actual paper, but I've read all my books many times over and drawing on paper just doesn't feel right, especially when I can't look up references to even practice anatomy) so that leaves me with restlessness because I'm not working on projects I'm genuinely motivated to get done and, in this particular case, likely forced to focus on the gender dysphoria because there's nothing else to focus on (meditating doesn't work unless I'm strongly imagining being the full-on girl I wanna be, that's how I fall asleep, but I can't maintain that all day) so I started crying, and getting frustrated, and getting stressed (given, at that moment, i was under increased dysphoria, getting yelled at, and losing how I usually deal with dysphoria). My mom noticed, I gave her a barely put-together, short explanation (just "oh, not feeling the best mentally, focusing on other stuff to make that motivation and into something positive, and now I'm supposedly grounded so I can't do that." Then I went to my room and cried a bit. My mom came in.

So I told her everything. How I'm trans, the dysphoria, what it's like, everything. Unfortunately, I was emotional during all that on top of the usual "coming out" stress. She left, and I correctly assumed she was telling my stepdad everything. And because I was emotional, she was probably gonna talk, understandably, more about that than anything else. Which she did. So they called me in about 5-10 minutes later.

Apparently, saying "I just wish this (pointing to my head, referencing my mind and gender) matched this (pointing to my body, referencing my biological sex)" was the same as saying "I wish I could alt+F4 life" somehow, despite that not being what I meant, not even close, and I still don't understand how they came up with that. Though, I also did say "I wish I could be someone else" in reference to being my female self, who I know pretty well, it's who I am online and the real me, but not in a "I wish I didn't exist" way. That was the first my stepdad said, on top of mentioning an ability to put me in a 72 hour hold. With my mom crying next to him. Adding guilt to my existing mental… mess, on top of dysphoria, being possibly grounded and not able to distract from that, and the stress of "now my parents, including my somewhat transphobic and traditional stepdad, know I'm trans." They then went on to how I'm now eventually gonna see a professional, be forced to be more physically and (in-person) socially active, stuff like that. Not bad, but I'm already somewhat socially active, with a group of a few dozen online friends and a small in person friend group that, granted, I need a break from sometimes. But of course my stepdad had to go further. "You have no social skills (false), you don't understand how the world works (I know the fucked up bits and how to not die), you're sheltered (impossible with the Internet, I tried, it didn't work), and you have no common sense (maybe not the kind you like, but I put together a lawn decoration with no instructions and barely a glance at a reference photo to see which of 2 things was higher up. If that's not intuition, I don't know what is. I just don't read rooms well beyond mood)!" So that added more anger.

From there, we talked, clarified bits of what he expects to change, I got my sense of humor back and annoyed my stepdad with it, and there I was. Hoping for the best, maybe even HRT if I'm lucky (otherwise I'm stuck with dysphoria until I'm 18), angry because of what my mom and stepdad responded to me coming out with, wishing I told them under a more calm emotional state (pretty sure they think I'm that upset all the time, usually I'm just calm and focused and mildly uncomfortable otherwise) and my explanations for how I feel and why weren't thought through, and still wondering why my dysphoria spiked so much.

Oh, also, here's what they said in response that annoyed me so much (all almost exact quotes, with some rewording for the sake of clarification):

"Are you sure it's not the fact all your father figures suck and you hate men so you don't want to be one?" - my mom. (Which, 1, that's not how it works, and 2, I got a boyfriend. Which wouldn't work if I hated guys. By this logic, wouldn't I be a trans lesbian?)

"How do you know it's not just a phase? I used to think I would rather be a guy and that I would look good as one!" - my mom (a phase that lasted over 2.5 years when I have shown signs of being trans since preschool?)

"You're wrong. You're not trans. Self evaluation isn't enough to decide something like that." - my stepdad (then your evaluation is just as incorrect.)

Now, I just don't know what to do. It's been 3 days, nothing really changed, but I also feel the shift still. Like, they're being nicer to me? My stepdad still likes the same holes, still says things like "I raise functional adults" in a way that makes it feel like I'm not in that category (I have flaws, yes, but I feel I could survive on my own with some difficulty. I could function, I feel, but it'd be rough at first, you know?) but he hasn't yelled at me when he normally would, and my mom gave me filler chores to avoid getting grounded the day after this. And… I just need a bit of advice here. Is this a normal thing? How can I deal with spikes like this later on (it's gone back to normal-ish, basically the day after this), and, like, what do I do? I just don't know what to do, and I regret quite a few things about all of this, most of which being the emotional, unintentional way I came out.

Overall, I'm just here to vent, and ask for advice. If you got any more questions, feel free to ask, I'll answer the best I can. All help is appreciated, and thank you for reading all this. Love you all, and have a damn good day or night.

:3

Hi! My first post here, and I'm working on a game that's a top down RPG but with, I don't know the term but non-pixel art 2D assets and stuff? And I'm looking for a reference, but all of them are pixel art. Any tips or advice I can get here?