u/CustardOk3523

21 M here, I've been like really isolated for the past few years... i guess especially since covid... tbh i only really have a friend rn who I'm really close with. But there's something in my heart like.. it reveals to me that I actually just don't meet any other new people anymore.. my only friends are the ones that were made like a decade ago as a kid/teenager. I've gotten like really afraid or anxious of meeting new people.. like it's just this new feeling for me.. even though i used to be really good at this stuff too.. but even talking to someone new feels like this new, strange experience like I've done something extraordinary and unbelievable. There are people who i could talk to really comfortably and even make them anxious, now i can't even hold an eye contact with them. Like there's not that same charm anymore. It feels like dead. I really wanna make new friends as well.. something has happened that has isolated me from myself the most.

So, I guess I'll just share some things about myself?

I'm 21 M like I said, I'm into stuff like music (I can share some of my songs if anyone's interested), into philosophy a lot, and yeah a lot of other subjects like science, space and whatnot.. sports, fitness, relationships.... Idk .. I love discussing about religion as well.. I can't really explain stuff about myself but u get the idea of what kinda person I am ig.

I actually don't wanna type anything anymore.. just hit me up already!

so it took me 18 days and 15 hours to unlock all the keys , with top speed being 58.9 wpm and average being 37.1 wpm (of all time) while.. recent average being around 40 wpm with close to 99 accuracy.

So, what would you rate this progress?

I feel like my average typing speed on monkeytype is from 40-50 wpm now.

The charger shows the light as usual. But the laptop, the charging indicator of the laptop only blinks for two seconds and fades away.. the status says it's plugged in.. my laptop kinda gives mild current shocks sometimes which it still is giving.. but it's not charging.. the indicator light isn't keeping on

got betrayed by her. She married someone else

i just found out i got betrayed by her today. Shes married someone else while i was waiting for her for the past three months.

So idk how to start this or articulate this stuff but i'll try my best.

So, she and I had known each other for years... but we really started talking regularly like 3 years ago or something. I had a breakup back then, so did she ... we were both going through it but mine was fresher u know.. hers was a while back. She got cheated on...

I didnt use to really like her as i thought she was really my type of person.. but she used to keep asking me if i like her or anything.. lot of flirting and stuff... she would always text me first and wouldnt let me go ... i unknowingly started caring for her which she found sweet and stuff from time to time. But still whenever she asked me if i liked her .. I said no.. like i liked her as a friend but not like a ... uh.... Love interest or anything. But u used to tell me that she likes me and i thought it showed the way she treated me and stuff. Now i wasnt really into her bc i thought she wasnt really a deep person ... like shes just like others , shallow and all about flirting and stuff u know what i mean.

But with i got to know her more.. and i started actually liking her out of nowhere.. i started calling her more.. and i started initiating stuff and after a while, i was genuinely thinking about her 24*7 ,,, like no joke... i was obsessed with her after a month of starting to like her. But as soon as I started to like her, it felt like she pulled away or something. I was like wtf just happened.. the person who kept texting me , now kinda acts a bit "distant" in a way. I confessed to her after a while... and she told me she had trust issues and stuff which i had already known about bc of her ex. I was like "I can fix her"... THE CLASSIC.

The roles reversed... now I'm the one suddenly who initiates convos and doesnt let her go. Now I'm the one who says i like you.. i'm obsessed with you,,, I started to win her trust .. and after a few months we were together. I had never in my life thought that she leave me ... and I'm a type of person who cant fall in love with someone whos u know, a cheater type of person, .... which i initially thought she would be when i didnt like her.

Fast forward, she wanted to talk to my mom.... and I, as someone, who was so shy to even look at a girl in front of my mom,, told her finally about her. My mom always thought her son was never into relationships and stuff... Lil did she know! I completely shocked her.. no matter how embarrassing it was.

She kept telling me she cant marry me and stuff... I kept trying to convince her... we were of different caste and even city. I told her that I would do everything to convince her parents... mine were already convinced. And mind you, she was the one who used to keep asking me if i would marry her if we could... now things had completely changed.

Regardless of it all, she left me.... i felt like dying or smething.

She came back after a week saying she had missed me.... i told her the same... we started talking again for like two weeks... then she left again.. she told me she wouldnt marry until 3 years.. I thought we had time.. i could fix things.. and u know go to her house and convince her parents.... i also thought she would come back after a week or so again .... a week passed... no msg nothing.... a month passed. Still nothing. I was blocked everywhere. Then i was unblocked one day,,, and i called her .. her mom picked the call... after that day every single one of her socials were deleted. Like she always told me she cant delete these acc theyre connected to her emotions..

I luckily found her new insta... I kept messaging her.. but no replies.

Now after almost two months, my fake acc got accepted by her sister.. and what i saw completely shook my world.

I saw her getting married to some guy in a post 3 months ago. I confirmed it multiple times,,, even looked at the shadi card. Her rishte wale aa chuke the 4 months ago.. or god knows how long before... when she was talking to my mom.

Yet she never ever told me anything about it. Its like.. i was still thinking about how i can be a worthy future husband for her,, i was tryna get my life together. She couldve denied the marriage.

Every single one of my khwab was shattered in a single moment. I couldnt believe for the rest of the day .. that SHE out of all people would do this. and had hidden such thing from me.

Can u believe it? here i was thinking it has happened before multiple times... she would come back again and i would calm her down.. like we got this. but what she did.... is still unbelievable to me. I cant forget it for the rest of my life. I wanted her to be my first kiss.. and the first and last to have sex with. While what I find out she's already done it for 3 months now with a random ass stranger who didn't know the first thing about her when I loved her for life.

Like life can be so cruel sometimes 😔.. a person has been waiting patiently for his girl.. while that girl is getting ready for her marriage... her crying face during her vidai keeps showing up in my mind. I loved her till death... she killed me. I have nothing left now that she's married... no option to get back.. nor do I want to anymore.

i was tryna build a better life for both of us.. I was tryna be better person in every aspect for us... my friend said "what if she married"... I completely denied that.. like at the time I just could not way in hell believe she could.. if even her rishtewale were coming, she would tell me 10 times... How wrong was I.... I'm laughing at my own intelligence.. my wit. I never doubted her. I've learnt my lesson now.. I would never let anyone do this to me again.. I would trust my gut identitying red flag and NEVER EVER avoid them.

For now, I hate her with every fiber of my being

Pata hai aaj kya hua