u/Dancin_Angel

Guy is european, it was a purely online situationship. Told him I felt things for him, both agreed to a 3 month deal where we figure out if we should date or not. I gave a heavy emphasis on taking things slow to open up to each other in a natural progression.

He ended it when he told me he couldn't seem to become vulnerable to me. I think it was because he was afraid, and he wasn't ready to do it with me. I took it as those 3 months essentially wasted time of me being vulnerable to him when apparently he never was to me. Essentially those 3 months I was just a friend, and he never intended anything else potentially coming from it.

I was furious, I felt played. I told him it was his responsibility to let me know that before the 3 month deal. Just meant he never even considered the idea that we couldve been something more in 3 MONTHS when we were supposed to try to warm up to the fact.

And no it wasn't because he didn't feel anything for me, he says he did! And I call bullshit, because that means his interest in me wasn't enough for him to brave his fear of vulnerability.

I tried to go back to friends, asked for a week of space, realized this was a grave mortal sin to commit to me and told him that. He just went "sorry you felt that way".

Went no contact for 3 months.

I reconnected because of an unrelated drama only he could help me understand and boom, he was mad I just left him all alone, that he couldn't even talk about it, that he couldn't cry while in the military. Bitch I cried the day you told me you were never vulnerable with me. He acknowledges that I had my reasons and it was all valid.

No I don't think you understand. I cut contact with you because you never seemed to have taken what I said like it mattered, and wanted ME to just go back to being friends with YOU.

I explained to him how he made me feel, how his invulnerability was straight up disrespect towards me as a person since we had verbal agreement on what we were doing, where it was intended to potentially go, and it's purpose. I said it was alright to me if he didn't like me back at the end of all of it, but to learn that he??? Never ever saw me as anything to pour his heart unto???

He told me he couldnt understand my persective or was afraid to confront it?? Then blocked me.

Bro you cannot live life like this.

Please no one who actually loved me would do the shit this guy pulled. But this guy is so damn socially inexperienced he just takes takes TAKES and doesn't stop to understand and give. Even if you're a shitty friend, even if you are a shitty person, even if you have feelings from him and got rejected (tho his friend managed to move past it it seems).

He wanted us to go back to talking about sex too like COME ON. Tell me you didn't just end the talking stage only for us to go back to talking bout sex casually like we're a bunch of two grown ass beer uncles talking about the bitches we wanna fuck on some overgrown lawn.

And he's mad I treat him patronizingly like he's not a fully grown man. That was bad of me, but it was a symptom of my general distrust in him because his inexperience and immaturity in things that mattered always shows. I don't know why if I already had this much distrust in him as a person did I continue. It was his kindness, a deep wisdom. We shared so much in common. I should've known it was not markers of a serious match.

My friend told me I shouldn't ever have had to explain myself. But they're emotionally intelligent, he is not.

When am I finding love 🥀

I have cut off ties from this friend group completely. It happened in the span of months. I would feel like a broken person if my friend didnt think my feelings were valid.

I have the tendency to cut friends out when i find that we can't jive, or I feel my efforts weren't being reciprocated in return. Sometimes I block them jarringly so, but I used to just ignore, distance, and avoid. I'm only starting to process why I do this. I have a burning passion for the people I call friends, and I dislike the thought of a casual friendship. I value deep connection and would rather have that with someone than something surface level on the daily. I need a great deal of this person trying to reciprocate the connection and it working for the both of us, else I end up feeling disrespected, neglected, misunderstood, or used.

It all started 3 years ago, when my first friend group in college victim blamed me. It was my first exposure to the idea that friends can hate you and devour you without you knowing.

My very cold behavior then spurred off a friend drama recently, wherein I was slandered, and ex friends told people I did stuff I never did. I heard of this happening from people who were neutral, so I went to work

The last ex friend I reconnected to understand wtf was going on was angry at how easy I cut people off. I couldn't manage to tell him that it was a necessity rather then a fucked up way to exercise my sadism on them before I got blocked. I told him earlier I fully expected people who dislike me to block me back, and that he can do so if he dislikes this conversation too much for whatever reason.

Ex friend was also an ex situationship just before I went NC with him (which i broke in order to address friend drama). We met as friends and as we talked, I got interested. We signed up for a 3 month deadline of talking to decide if we should date or not, only for it to end because he doesn't know how to be vulnerable to me. It was a source of immense broken trust and some heartbreak because I thought we were talking to slowly open ourselves up to each other as I emphasized taking things slow. It meant those 3 months he was basically just not treating the space I was making with the vulnerability I did. I reiterated how I felt about that, and why his circle of friends were just terrible friends to me, and in the end I was blocked after explaining that he couldn't see my perspective and/or he was scared of confronting it at the moment. I took it as a sign that he's still not fully tapping into his emotional vulnerability to understand, so I was essentially talking to a brick wall.

Ex situationship was well liked in the circle despite his emotional stupidness. People were worried I did something to him because of how he felt about me. He was mad, he couldn't cry in military, he missed me, he didn't understand, he was left all alone.

My friend made me see that he was dismissive of my view point, and I feel frustrated at myself that I fully expected him to understand my needs and why that led to cutting people off and of him. I always thought this guy was too passive, and I was right that that's not going to change just specifically for me.

I feel like an asshole. I've done everything only to protect my peace of mind, and another ex friend harassed me for it, making me feel like I'm this horrible person for telling a situationshop who hasn't had an an ounce of respect for me to let me go that he's dead to me.

I'm grateful for my other friends who pointed out that my ex online circle feels like a bad group of people. To me they all feel largely inexperienced rather than outright terrible, but I think it explains why they've all been terrible friends to me. I just want depth and to be cared by.

Turn the TV off. Take off your earphones. Finish eating your snacks and lock the pantry.

The reason why you're so lazy is because you'd rather not do anything else other than.

I'm not the president, but I'm responsible heading a group within the org im in. I discuss about our assigned core topic, assign outputs about it, and just generally try to inspire the members within it.

I feel incredibly melancholic how its over. I remember first getting the role and looking up "how to be a good leader". I've never been in a community where we unite for a common cause together, as I've always felt like my interests are niche for anything.

I'll miss the hectic days juggling academics and still trying to plan out a meeting with my group, trying not to break my twice a month meeting quota as much as possible. I'll miss talking to them about their individual aspirations, as well as mine. Telling them I firmly believe our future is bright because of their passions.

I'm happy I was given this opportunity to lead, but I'm so sad my time with it is over.