I Don't Think Deer Are Supposed to Stand Like That
This story came from one of my favorite interactions I've had with readers.
It all started with a simple two-sentence horror idea: a hunter sees a deer standing upright after being shot, its body torn open, yet somehow still alive. I posted it expecting a few comments, but what followed was a chain of hilarious and horrifying replies that genuinely made me laugh. One reader wrote, "Yeah, no shit, Billy. RUN!" and from that moment, Bobby and Billy were born.
I wanted to write a creature feature that balanced dread with dark humor, the kind of campfire tale where you laugh one moment and feel uneasy the next. Because sometimes that's how fear works. We joke about it. We laugh at it. But every now and then, beneath the laughter, there's something staring back from the woods.
I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it.
And maybe, just maybe...
Don't trust a deer that stands on two legs.
- David Hallow
--- --- ---
People love scary stories.
Maybe it's because most of us know, deep down, that they're just stories. Figment of imagination, compiled to spike our anxiety.
Ghosts around campfires. Monsters lurking beneath beds. Things with glowing eyes waiting in the woods. We tell them, laugh a little awkwardly, and sleep knowing none of it was ever real.
Or at least that's what we tell ourselves.
The truth is, most scary stories are either fiction, exaggeration, or a memory that's grown teeth over the years.
But every now and then, you come across one that isn't.
A story somebody wishes was made up.
A story that follows them long after the telling is done.
The kind of story that hangs on a wall in a faded photograph.
The kind of story that leaves an empty seat at the dinner table.
The kind of story that makes an old man stare into the woods a little longer than he should.
I know because I have one.
It started with a picture hanging crooked on the wall.
It wasn't anything special at first glance. Just an old picture faded by time. Two young men stood shoulder to shoulder beside a pickup truck. One held a rifle. The other grinned at the camera with the kind of confidence only young men seem capable of possessing.
"What happened to him?"
I pointed at the man on the left.
My grandfather, a disheveled old man with a beard that even Gandalf would envy, looked up from his rocking chair.
For a moment, the old man didn't answer. The fire crackled softly in the hearth. Outside, snow drifted past the cabin windows.
"That's Billy." His voice was always such a low, deep tone. Years of the maiden named liquor he would court on every given night. This time, there was a sense of inconsolable remembrance.
"Uncle Billy?" I asked.
Grandpa Bobby nodded.
"Yep."
"What happened to him?"
The old man stared at the photograph for a long moment before letting out a regretful sigh.
"Son, you ever heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?"
I nodded.
"Well," Bobby said, "in Billy's case, stupidity finished the job."
I chuckled awkwardly. Grandfather didn't.
That prepared me for a serious ride.
The old man leaned back in his chair.
"Let me tell you about the last hunting trip we ever took together."
Bobby:
Billy was older than me by exactly eleven minutes. He never let me forget it. According to Billy, those eleven minutes made him wiser, tougher, and hell... better looking.
The only thing they actually made him was louder.
The two of us had been hunting since we were kids. I held my first rifle at the age of seven with pops. Deer season was practically a holiday in our family.
That morning started like every other.
Cold air.
Hot coffee.
Billy complaining about something.
"I swear deer are getting smarter."
I rolled my eyes.
"They're deer." I mockingly stated.
"Exactly. That's what they want you to think."
That was Billy.
A man capable of turning breakfast into a whole conspiracy theory.
Around noon we spotted tracks deeper into the woods than we'd ever gone before.
Big tracks.
The kind that make hunters start imagining trophy mounts hanging over fireplaces. The size that makes the ladies skirts in a bundle.
Billy practically vibrated with excitement from the thought of bringing such game town. To gloat and be honored.
We followed those dreaded markings for nearly an hour. Eventually we reached a clearing.
And there it was.
The biggest buck I'd ever seen.
Massive antlers.
Huge body.
Standing perfectly still between the trees.
Billy nearly dropped his rifle.
"Oh great Lord Heavens above."
I couldn't disagree.
The thing was enormous. Definitely nature was kind to it and blessed it since the day it drew breath.
Billy slowly raised his rifle.
"Don't miss."
"I never miss."
Now boy... retelling this still raises the hair in the back of my scalp. The years have not done me kindly with age, but I sure am haunted by that damn Buck.
The rifle cracked.
The deer dropped instantly.
It was a perfect shot. Right through the chest. You could tell the bullet went clean through.
Billy threw his hands into the air.
"Still got it!"
We were mid cheer when the sudden screech of a banshee erupted. We turned to face what I could only describe as a satanic miracle.
Neither of us let out a word or breathe.
The deer... It stood back up. But what was so alarming wasn't just its stomach had split open from the impact, ropes of entrails dangling from the wound. Blood soaked its hide. Yet somehow it was standing.
Not on four legs.
Two.
I felt every hair on my body stand up.
The thing swayed slightly. Its dead eyes locked onto us.
Then Billy whispered:
"I don't think deer are supposed to stand like that."
I looked at him.
"Yeah, no shit, Billy. RUN!"
Instead of running, he frowned.
"But what about the deer?"
I slapped him.
Hard.
The crack echoed through the clearing.
"Are you being serious right now?"
"Well yeah!"
He pointed.
"Look! It's running at us!"
I turned.
And immediately began sprinting.
Yes, I could've drawn my rifle and shot it dead... but that was the day I learned. There comes a day, son, when you will face this forsaken truth. Fear will consume you. And when it does, will you run or fight?
I chose to run.
The thing moved impossibly fast.
That was no damn deer. Not like any animal.
Its legs bent wrong. Its joints jerked and snapped.
Its organs dragged through the feild behind it.
And God help me, I think it was smiling.
"Bobby!" Billy shouted behind me.
"Shoot it!"
"IT DOESN'T HAVE A HEART ANYMORE!"
"Then shoot the head!"
"THE HEAD IS LOOKING AT ME SIDEWAYS, BILLY!"
The distance between us and that abomination vanished frighteningly fast.
Branches exploded around us. Snow kicked into the air.
I risked a glance over my shoulder.
Worst mistake of my life.
The thing wasn't running anymore.
It was hopping.
Almost playfully.
Its front legs hung uselessly while it bounded forward on its back legs.
Like a child pretending to be a deer.
Then Billy footsteps stopped.
I heard him behind me.
"Go!"
I turned.
For one brief moment he actually looked heroic.
Rifle raised.
Standing his ground.
Then he ruined it.
"Tell my wife I left the smoker on!"
The creature hit him before I could answer.
Its antlers punchered through his chest same as the bullet. The force lifted him off the ground.
I heard bones snap.
He screamed.
God, he screamed.
I ran. he coward I am...
I wish I could tell you I stayed.
I wish I could tell you I fought.
But I ran.
And behind me I heard things no human being should ever hear.
The sound of your brother taking his last breath..
Bones breaking.
The sound of feeding on a living carcass.
And beneath it all... I swear I heard laughter.
It was human. It sounded oh so familiar. I recognize that jolly hick up for it annoyed me for thirty so years. It was Billy's.
I didn't stop running until I reached my truck...
The cabin had gone quiet. The fire continued to crackle.
I stared at my grandfather who's eyes were sheilded by the darkness of the cabin.
"What happened after that?"
Bobby took a slow sip from his coffee.
"Well... the Sheriff and I, we found pieces."
I swallowed.
"Pieces?"
The old man nodded.
"J-just enough for a proper burial."
Silence settled between us. The flames from the fireplace danced as time seemed to daunt on the night.
Finally, I asked the question.
"D-did they ever find whatever k-killed him?"
For the first time all evening, Bobby smiled.
It wasn't a pleasant smile.
"No."
He stared toward the dark forest beyond the cabin window.
"Though three days later, a hunter reported seeing someone standing at the edge of the tree line."
Max felt a chill crawl down his spine.
"S-someone?"
Bobby nodded.
"Looked just like Billy."
The room suddenly felt colder.
"Was it him?"
The old man looked back toward the crooked photograph on the wall.
"Hell no."
His voice dropped almost to a whisper.
"It was standing on two legs."